My Son My Conqueror Pt. 02

"Not before? Perhaps in high school?"

I shook my head.

"Not even a little? The occasional thought of a woman pleasuring you when you masturbated?"

I shook my head.

"How long had you known Jennifer before you slept with her?"

"A day." Saying that out loud surprised me at the ludicrousness of it.

"You look surprised. Why?"

"After Desmond was born, I lost all interest in sex. I think perhaps my husband left me because of that."

"Maybe, we'll discuss that in time. But you say you lost interest in sex? For how long?"

"Um, until Jennifer showed up, um, no..."

"Your sexual desire came back before Jennifer showed up?"

I thought hard. It was when I first saw Leanne. Why was that? "Um, no, it was meeting my son's girlfriend for the first time."

"Interesting. What's her name and when was that?"

"Leanne. She's been my son's girlfriend for a couple of years. I met her the day before I met Jennifer. I'm sure it was the previous day."

She wrote some things down and then looked up at me. "You never met your son's girlfriend for two years?"

I nodded.

"Why?"

"Um, I think he was hiding her from me."

"Hiding her, why do you think that?"

I blushed. "She looks a lot like me."

Anne looked very interested. "A little or a lot?"

"A lot. Like my twin."

"Do you have sexual desires for her?"

I squirmed in my seat. The questions were becoming too pointed. Too probing.

"Please answer the question. You are safe here, Jessica. I will never judge you. I need to hear the truth as you understand it. Answer the question. Do you have sexual desires for her?"

"Yes? A little?"

"And you say your sexual desire came back seeing her. Why was that? Are you so in love with yourself that you imagined having sex with her, your look-alike?"

I laughed. "No!"

"But something interested you after twenty-years of nothing. What was it?"

I shook my head.

"Walk through this with me. You opened the door. There is Leanne. She looks like you. Exactly like you. You start thinking. Why does she look like me? What thought happens next?"

I remembered. I looked at my son. I knew right away he was with her because she looked like me. Because. Because. Because...

Anne leaned forward. "Because your son is having sex with her because she looks like you. That's what you thought, wasn't it?"

I started sobbing. My shame and guilt washed over me and threatened to drown me. I felt Anne holding me and I collapsed against her.

I eventually composed myself and Anne insisted we go to the recliners. I sat back and sank into my chair. It held me beautifully and I smiled and then daintily blew my nose.

"Where were we?" said Anne, checking her notes. "Right. Your son is dating your twin. The man you spent twenty years living alone with is suddenly having sexual relations and it turns out he has a thing for girls who look like you. Do you imagine he thinks he's making love to you when he's with her?"

I nodded.

"And you want to have sex with him, don't you? You want to replace her."

I froze. I stared at her, and she looked calmly back at me. I couldn't see any judgment on her face. She looked serene. Understanding. I slowly nodded my head.

"Say it out loud, please."

"I do..."

"You do what?"

"I want to have sex with my son!" I held my head in my hands and cried. Anne had already given me a box of tissues. I grabbed one and wiped my nose. "I'm sorry! I'm such a mess! I must disgust you."

"You don't, but I can imagine why you want to think that. Before we continue, I want to tell you something. Would that be all right? You have to promise me you'll keep this strictly confidential? Okay?"

I looked up and nodded.

She rose and grabbed a photo frame off her desk and handed it to me. "This photo is of my lesbian lover. That's her and me in Jamaica on our honeymoon."

I looked at the photo. They looked so young and happy. Brunettes with the same hazel eyes. The same high cheek bones. The same teeth? I looked up sharply at Anne.

"She was my little sister. We were very much in love. From the moment she was born I took care of her. We married for sickness and for health. Two years after that photo was taken, she was taken from me. Ovarian cancer. Stage Four. It had already spread throughout her body. It only took her two weeks to pass once she was diagnosed. We hadn't even started processing it yet when she died. She was just taken. Snatched from me. I'm telling you this because I understand. You love your son in a way no mother is supposed to love her son. But I understand that love. Your secret is safe with me, Jessica."

I wiped my eyes with a fresh tissue. "Thank you." I was emotionally wrecked. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

She nodded, and I saw her eyes were misty. "And you love Jennifer?"

My heart wanted to burst with my love for her. "Oh, yes. I do."

"She seems like a nice lady. I'm happy for you. But you're here because of your incestuous desires for your son. Does he know?"

I nodded.

"How do you know he knows?"

"I can see it in the way he looks at me. Jennifer has seen it too."

"And you think he wants to have sex with you?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

I explained about overhearing Desmond and Leanne making love in the basement and role-playing her being me.

"Oh my," said Anne. "Isn't that something. Have you acted out on anything? Tried catching him in the bathroom after a shower, for example? Catching him masturbating? You know all the tropes?"

"What, no! I can't let anything happen!" Then I remembered the teddy bear nanny cam and shame rushed though me.

"I'm very good at reading people. You just thought of something. Tell me."

I explained what I had done and hung my head in shame.

She chuckled, and I glared at her in surprise and anger. Was she laughing at me?

She patted the air at me. "Sorry! Believe me I'm not laughing at you or anything like that. It's the first I have ever heard of that. Its ingenious in its depravity. You do realise that? You breeched his privacy? You'll need to tell him at some point. He deserves to know. Imagine it reversed and how you would feel."

"I know. I just had to see."

"I understand. And he called out your name, you said?"

"Yes. He said 'mom' and... ejaculated."

"He came thinking about you. Afterward, after he came, how was he? Did he seem calm?"

I nodded, smiling at the memory. "He looked happy to me."

Anne smiled and wrote that down. "Okay, I think it's safe for me to say that you and your son are madly in love with each other and want to take it to the next level. That sound about right?"

"No! I don't want to take it to the next level! That's wrong! I need to stop these feelings! It's tearing me apart! I can't take it anymore! I feel like I'm going insane!"

Anne's face softened. "I'm sorry, Jessica. I understand your pain. The problem is the body has its own desires and the mind sometimes has other desires. In this case, both your body and mind want this. It is your sense of right and wrong that is causing the problems, and there isn't anything wrong with that. Imagine a society where having sex with your relatives was common. Would you live in that world?"

I thought and nodded. "Without repercussions?"

"Without repercussions. A perfect world for you. But you don't live in that world. Jennifer must be aware, is she?"

"Yes. She keeps trying to make it happen."

"And has she done anything with your son?"

"No. She would never betray me like that."

"Betray you? Interesting choice of word. And Leanne, she knows, correct?"

"Yes. I think so. She knows Desmond wants it. I think she encourages him."

"She finds it hot, do you think?"

I nodded.

"Okay, that's enough for today. I need to think. Psychologists run tests, did you know that?" She didn't wait for an answer and just kept talking. "Tests let me get a better understanding of the kind of problem we have. But in this case, I'm pretty sure I understand. Perhaps better than you may think I do. I can tell you that you need to resolve this. Your psyche is under enormous strain. You're feeling the cracks starting. In my professional opinion, you should be having sexual relations with your son. You have a partner who understands, and your son has a partner who understands. Really, it is you who doesn't fully understand and can never accept it, and I get that. For a mother, this is particularly difficult but not an insurmountable task. First, you need to figure out how to not be his mother."

"Is that possible?"

"No, I don't think so. This is an interesting case. I would be very pleased to keep you on as a client. Would you like that?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll give you a special number. It's a number for my clients to reach me when they are having difficulty coping. Call me when you have problems, okay? This only works when you can trust me and are willing to open up at any time. Okay? When you are feeling stressed about this, call me. Don't keep it inside anymore. It's not healthy."

I nodded, and she rose. I rose with her, and she handed me a bunch more tissues. She walked me to her front door. My mind was reeling. She had just told me to have sex with my son!

"I suggest you talk openly with your partner about all this. She seems to understand and is accepting. Talk to her. Include her. It will bring you closer, okay?"

I nodded, and she hugged me. I held on and cried a little more. She released me and I ran to the car where my Jennifer was waiting for me.

* * *

When it happened, it happened fast. I didn't expect it. Didn't ask for it.

* * *

One month after first meeting Anne, Leanne broke off with Desmond on a Friday night. No reason given. She just ended it. Over a phone call. It was cold and heartless. So completely out of character.

I was in the kitchen and heard his phone ring down in the basement. He answered, and I knew he was speaking with Leanne. Then it went quiet.

"WHY? TELL MY WHY! YOU OWE ME THAT MUCH!"

I froze. The hurt and anger in his voice was unmistakable. The mother in me reacted instantly. "No, no, no..." I muttered.

"YOU CAN'T JUST DUMP ME WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY!"

No, no, no, I thought. My hands were shaking. This can't be happening. Not to my boy.

"LEANNE? LEANNE? FUUUUUUCK!" he screamed into the air. I heard a crash.

I inched closer to the door to the basement. All was quiet and then I heard crying. My son was crying. He never cried. Never. He once told me the man of the house never cried. When I asked him why he had said "I need to be strong for you, mom."

The sound of his crying broke my heart. I ran down the stairs and saw him collapsed on the carpet, curled up. His sobs shook his body. I saw his phone lying next to him with the screen cracked in the middle. I rushed to his side and touched him.

"GO AWAY!" he cried.

I stroked his back. "Baby! It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"She left me, mom! She left me!"

"I know, I'm so sorry!" I rubbed his back and knelt beside him. I placed a hand on his head and ran my fingers through his hair. He slowly opened up, and soon I had his head in my lap. My baby. I comforted him and held him and stroked his hair.

He lay with his face looking up at me. I looked down at him and wiped tears from his eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby. You don't deserve this. I don't understand how she could do this."

"Either do I mom! We talk all the time. Laugh. Do things. I've been so happy with her."

"I know. She's here all the time. I don't remember being that happy when I was her age."

"She spends a lot of time with Jennifer."

That surprised me. Jennifer had never told me.

"What am I going to do, mom?"

I ran my fingers through his hair. It was so soft. So blond like mine. His eyes like mine. His nose like mine. He was mine. He had been abandoned just as much as my husband had abandoned me. I knew the pain. It had taken me years to get him to understand that his father had never known him and had never left because of him. When he had finally accepted that he had grown into the man he was today. He didn't need another abandonment. I was furious with Leanne. I had to make it better. To comfort my son as only a mother could.

My psychologist had told me to learn how to not be his mother. That was backwards. I had to learn how to be his mother with my whole heart and soul. And embrace all that meant. I felt a massive weight I didn't know I carried lift of me. I had been fighting to be who I thought I was supposed to be. What I had failed at was that I wasn't being the mother my son needed and wanted with his whole heart.

I leaned down and kissed him. It felt natural, like what any mother would do to comfort their child. I kissed his lips, slightly salty from his tears. Then my tongue slipped out and found his. His hand found my breast and squeezed. It was so inappropriate and so perfectly right. I gripped his head by his hair and held his mouth hard against mine.

He kissed me harder, and I kissed back. My hunger rose and so did his.

"Mom? I love you..."

"Baby, I love you more..."

In moments, we were naked from the waist down, and he was inside me. It happened that fast. He was thrusting into me with long hard strokes, calling me mom over and over. My nails tore down his back, and he cried out thrusting against me. We rutted like animals. Years of sexual tension had built to this moment. He grunted and came hard inside me. I felt his incestuous cum splash inside me and it released something in me so primal I hurt my throat voicing it and setting it free.

I came. I have never cum again in my life as I did in that moment. The carnal pleasure of it is seared into my soul. The perfection of it. The bliss of it. The way his desire and mine came together in one perfect moment of pleasure and comfort. My son, who I had birthed, had returned to me. Joined with me once again and in that pure moment my heart burst in a joy I will never fully feel again. If I do, I don't think my heart could contain it. My son and I were complete once more. I had never wanted him out of me when I had birthed him. After all those years he was back inside me where he belonged.

Slowly he stopped pumping into me. I could feel his cum sliding out of me and down between my ass cheeks. My legs were way up high around his body and pulling him into me. My pussy felt like it had been waiting for his cock all my life. It was a perfect fit. He had touched me in places I have never been touched and my orgasm had been all the stronger for it.

Desmond stirred, rising out of our combined orgasm, and looked at me and right away I could see his fear. He had wanted this and never wanted it. Now he had done it and his fear took hold. I kissed him and held him against me.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. It's okay."

"Mom? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. We shouldn't have..."

"I know, but it's done."

"I wanted this for so long, mom."

"I did, too, baby. I did, too."

"This was wrong, wasn't it?"

"Yes. But I don't regret it, Desmond. I don't regret it at all..."

"But mom, this means you cheated on Jennifer!"

My heart froze. I had cheated on her. "I have to tell her!"

"Tell her you cheated on her with your son?"

"Yes, she'll understand. I know she will..."

"How? Mom, what we just did? How can you explain that?"

He was still inside me. His cum flowing from me like a faucet. I had wanted this for so long and now it was being ruined. "I have to call her. Right now."

Desmond pulled his cock out of me, shuddering at the pleasure it gave him. I felt his absence right away and wanted him back inside me. But I had to call Jennifer.

I ran upstairs, heedless of the cum splashing on to the carpet and hardwood floors. I found my phone and called Jennifer. She answered in one ring.

"Hi, Jessica, what's up?"

"I just fucked Desmond!" I was so upset I swore.

"What? What happened?"

"Leanne dumped him. I went to comfort him and it just kind of happened!"

"You cheated on me?" replied Jennifer quietly.

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry. But you always wanted this for me! I won't do it again! I can't and be with you!"

There was a long pause and I waited to hear her forgive me. Then she spoke quietly. "Jessica, please don't call me again."

"What? No! Please. I need you right now! Jennifer?" I stared at my phone. She had hung up on me. Nothing about the conversation made sense. She knew I wanted Desmond. She had pushed me over and over again. And when I do, she dumps me?

"JENNIFER!" I wailed and then I was back in Desmond's strong arms.

"Mom?"

"Sh-she d-dumped me!" My heart broke. I fell to the floor in a million scattered pieces. Except my son was there to put me back together again.

Over the next few days, we made love almost constantly. When we weren't eating, sleeping, or cleaning ourselves, we made love. He took every one of my holes. I took his. We explored our bodies to the point where I could name every little freckle or mole on his body with my eyes closed.

Making love to my son was the best pleasure I have ever experienced. He would sweep me up and simply take me. His hard cock would press past my lips into my waiting mouth. My pussy would drip until he plugged me fully. My ass would press down and open to him when he least expected it. We made love and cleaned each other with our tongues. He came over every part of my body.

I loved to tongue his asshole, with him on all fours, my arms wrapped around his legs and stroking his cock. He called it playing the trombone, and I even tried to play a tune once.

Through it all, we missed our girlfriends. We spoke of them together while cooling down, soaked in our combined sweat, pussy juice, and cum. Our bond growing with our shared loss. We didn't understand why they had done it. It was too sudden, raw, and heartbreaking. Desmond admitted to me he had been about to propose to Leanne, and he showed me his modest ring, and we cried a little.

I woke on a Sunday. It had been four days since we had been unceremoniously dumped. I stirred awake and felt my son pressed up against my back with his erection pressed between my butt cheeks. I loved that feeling.

I slid around and sank down and took him into my mouth. That gorgeous smell of my son was stronger at his cock, and I sucked it greedily into my mouth. His cum was sweet to my mouth. No bitterness. No salty taste. It was ambrosia to me. I had developed a sick need for his cum. As soon as he was able to cum, I would draw it and pull it free with my mouth, my hands, my breasts, my pussy, and my ass. I wanted to be filled with it. Inside and out. Years of denial had me overdosing on my need.

His need was just as insatiable. He constantly craved my pussy and ass on his mouth. I gave him pointers and soon he was mastering pleasuring me with his tongue and large thick fingers.

He woke slowly and then moaned. He thrust into my mouth, holding my head. I could get four inches of him in my mouth and that was it. I had tried everything to get more inside but I had my limits. The fourth time I threw up on him, he agreed we should stop trying.

I climbed up his hard body and lowered my pussy to his cock. I sank down slowly loving the feeling of his massive head pushing up through my pussy and stretching me out. His cock slid along my wet folds and my clit bounced on his pelvic bone. The perfect fit of a man and woman joined together.

Sex with my husband had never been like this. That had been clinical. Functional. With my son it transcended time and space. My son, yesterday, made me cum in under thirty seconds in the kitchen. He came up behind me as I was washing dishes naked (we hadn't been clothed in days). He knelt down behind me and thrust two fingers into my pussy, finding my g-spot right away, and tongued my asshole.