by Britease
The "part 2," killed the story. How would the authorities have no leads when there's a goddamn story that not only provides a lead but also motive? Also, isn't the spouse the usual first suspect? Given his background it wouldn't take a whole lot to convince a jury. Furthermore, how would their bodies be destroyed to the point of being unidentifiable, but their clothes still intact? How can one identify a person, from an explosion by his clothes but not the female or find a lead? If you're going for realism, be realistic.
Always get your hearing checked. To quote from the movie 'Captain Ron': "Ger...Gor...makes a difference.".
Funny quick story. Nicely done. Thank you.
My thoughts about the families of the deceased are that they should have raised their children better!!!
ZK
What a stupid fkedup story this was Mate I thought up till nnot sure if we should continue to read After "no way mary "I almost gave you away >>now I will think i might pass Up till now your stories were 95% good but after this one (jaybee186)
This makes no sense. Why is she acting like that? Cheating on the guy shes cheating with?
It was a well-told story, but I found myself disliking the "wife" and pitying the "husband" so much that I could not really enjoy it.
Great story that ended with a real bang. At least, I assume, they died happy.
my thoughts goes to the husband. Fucking aye I hope he was the one who blew the BITCH up
top vote
*****
4 stars
More suffering for all I would have went with 5 and favorite
The story ended with the SAS (Special Air Service for you unmilitary heathen) SGT blowing up the house with the wife and her friends. Now- a little bit of explosives training for you: when it comes to anything that is life critical? "Two is one, and one is none" because things break, lost, etc. So you have TWO flashlights. Two first-aid kits. Or in this case? One charge of the explosive of your choice, TWO detonators, and TWO ways to set it off. Because if the first fails it's the same as having none. Two is one, (that works) and One is None (if it fails).
WTF why did u just left ur story in middle ... it's really good writer more and complete it ... any way things for this one
Even Navy Seals don't mess with the SAS. Brittease got me completely with this one. Just BUTB, it's quicker than burning.
Ahhh,,,,,,time for food shopping, with cash,,,,at Home Depot or Lowes. The stuff they don't have? Local dive shop or off Craigslist,,,,,Steel tank is bad with friction for explosives. Aluminum doesn't spark- and you don't need that big of a tank for a house,,,,,.
Did you know that Chuck Norris does his food shopping at Home Depot or Lowes? Now you know why,,,,
Just no. No, no, no. It's all wrong. Do it better.
Ladies, only a fool underestimates the depth of anger and retribution in her husband. One of the easiest 5-star ratings I have ever issued.
is a special type of explosive. It stuns, renders people unconscious, and has been known to ignite fires.
An apt description for this flash story that ended in a bang?
Well written without a waste of extra words.
Great twist on a common theme.
You can still wrap up a flash story better, in fewer words, than most.
And yes, many of the people in 22 (or other SMUs) were pussycats -- around their own family. Though the (fictional) wife had to be daft to not know, in general terms, what her husband did.
Sorry but I found this flash a waste of my time. I have and will continue to enjoy your other stories but to me this is a dud!!! Thanks for sharing
I think most of them would go with the motto of "what arsehole thought it would be a good idea to land us in this shithole"
5 Stars, great flash story, ends with a bang and the bitch literally got burned!
In my opinion, this author is better than JPB at the flash stories. Always a full story condensed into a little scene. Nicely done, as always.
It is said they hate this moto as who dares more often gets themselves killed along wit some of there mates. It is said they would prefer the moto.. 'Better Safe than Sorry' :)
To the Anon sending me feedback - Unless I misunderstood you, you're accusing me of trying to tell you what you're thinking.
I honestly don't see it anywhere in my comments.
If you could show me the error of my ways I will gladly apologize!
Yeah, you need to lighten up, Britease. We don't want aggressive types in the SAS.
I found that out myself. I, for one, thought this was great and gave 5 stars.
It was a strange reaction that this one gave him. I felt as if was going to bite
into a delicious wing which then turned out to be mostly bone.
Fatal Mistake #1 - Not paying attention to what the husband does the first time it is said
Fatal Mistake #2 - Failure to heed available information
Fatal Mistake #3 - On words SAS and not running as fast and as far as you can with or without clothes.
Good story
As we always read, "This is fiction! No real people were harmed in the writing of this story!"
I think the confusion with his job is an indication of what a ditz she is!
That's kind of funny, I was HATING it until the reveal because I thought that he was being too much of a cuck!
"Oh, no! A cheating scumbag got killed! Oh, no!"
Sometimes, people die.
Either deal with it, or whinge someplace else.
A flash grenade story, one might say.
Certainly lightened the mood at LW, somewhat. Thankfully!
Nice shot (In the immortal words of Filter). Tight little story. Been a while, nice to see you haven't lost your touch. Props.
What the..........perfect ending. Looks like the full house looses
"who dares wins" is another story by the author, and is sort of a companion piece.
Or not.
YMMV,
Green-something
My grammar did let me down a bit on this one didn't it. Slap on the wrist for me. For those who worried about all the people I killed off, then don't worry because they were really nasty people in ways that I neglected to tell you. So that's OK then isn't it?
It's so unusual for Britease to have spelling errors, so we'll have to accept that it was the publisher who used 'effecting' where 'affecting' was the correct word. (Pedantry with the English language is fun.)
I find all of Britease's stories to be must-reads, and this was another good one for mine. One expects the twist at the end, but how it comes can be part of the entertainment in his stories. Killing the author Tom required somebody else to provide the concluding note post mortem.
Lovers of Revenge/Retribution stories may enjoy this story for the fact that devastation was wreaked on the adulterous wife and those who collaborated in her activities. I just thought it was a funny story. Nobody does Revenge/Retribution as entertainingly as Britease.
Lue
Once again from Britease. A real flash story for this crowd and the clue to the end is in the title.
Again a very good and at some point funny story...funny in the sense that the lover even sensing that was facing a dead sentence, couldn't resist the power of lust and tryed to believe what the cheating and stupid wife thought: Her husband was like a pussy cat! But lions are pussy cats too! 4*
You know I think I read somewhere that all cheaters deserve to die. It would make for a better world. I believe this is a good start.
Well, maybe not. I think the cheaters and the swingers should just get together. Then they could fuck each other silly. The rest of us won't give a fuck anymore.
Just one asshole's opinion.
There are just a few too many of these "surprise twist" stories coming down the pike. "Let's trick the reader," is sort of cool, but it's getting a bit stale. Still, a fun read. It's obviously not meant to be taken with the "Oh, my God! He killed all those people," frame of mind. Just a fun little story and it was fun.
What a letdown. I was loving this story all the way until it was revealed the narrator wasn't her husband. The mass murder was a turn off as well.
entertaining and surprising. Oh gosh what a surprise that Tom wasn't the hubby after all. Britease has particular flash story skills.
With apologies for being a grammar fascist (well half-hearted apologies anyway).... the "you're" in the sentence "It's not just you're damn leg Kelly" should be "your". Fun anyway.
As someone recently noted, there sure has been a lot of murder -- even mass murder -- in this section lately. It seems the bar has been raised (or lowered) to a point where I'm not sure how it can move any further.
Taking this story with the tongue-in-cheek manner in which I assume it was written, I suppose it is amusing enough, as the "twist" that the narrator isn't the husband is original and unexpected. Stil, the "and then they were all murdered" ending felt a bit flat and lazy.
I rate this one a solid "meh."
The best part of the flash story style, is that if one doesn't particularly like the direction it is heading, at least it is over quickly!
That said, the best part of reading a flash by YOU, is that we KNOW there will be a twist, and a chuckle, and whatever the characters did or didn't do, we also know that we will see SOME sort of karmic retribution for bad behavior.
From Bus collisions to (now) militantly precise explosions, we never have to wonder how it all turned out.
I agree, that you ARE the "King of the flash format", and while this one may not be my favorite, I am just thrilled to see you still at it, and contributing here.
Many Thanks!
I was prepared to rip this for him being a cuck wimp, but you really got me!
Minor typo: It should have been "carry out" not "carried out"
Grateful to see a story from you, Britease. Always enjoy your flash stories. Did like the twist.
As Crkcppr said, it's now time to sit back and see how many get upset about story.
Thank you for writing and looking forward to your next story. 5 stars
Yes , Britease , you are the undisputed King of the Flash story !
Now Gird your loins sir , for they will be here shortly ! With blood in their eyes and frothy spittal on their lips.
It maybe a little early in the morning for popcorn , but I think I'll pop a bag and sit back and watch the show.
5 *'s