One Night in Kilmeaden

"Caitlin... you were taken against yer will, weren't ya lass?" he asked gently and got his answer when he felt her body start shaking from silent sobs. He pulled her tightly against him. "Ah'm so sorry fer raisin' bad memories fer ya, darlin'... Ah never want ta do anythin' but make ya feel loved an' protected..."

"No, Jordan!!! Ah tol' ya no' ta say et!!!" she cried. "Ya canna love mi... ah do no' deserve yer love!" she moaned miserably. "Ah kin give ya mi body, but ah canna give ya mi heart or soul... they are no' worthy ta love someone es wonderful es you..." she whispered as her tears slowed. She sniffed and took a deep breath, wiping her eyes as she numbed herself to the pain again.

Then she turned over to face him and reached down to stroke his flaccid cock. Her eyes rounded in surprise. "What's wrong? You were hard an' eager fer mi jus' ta few moments ago... until ya made mi admit tha' t'ah was weak an' let some dirty bastards rape mi from behind!!! See?!! Ah tol' ya ah was no' worthy ta love ya!!! Ah see ya now realize et, too!" she cried angrily as she rolled away from him and off of the bed.

She started looking around for her clothing as she continued, "An' now thet ya know, ya no longer want mi body!!! Ah guess ah canna blame ya... who could wan' ta bloody ravin' mad girl whose fiery temper got her raped by the AGE OF FOURTEEN!!!" she yelled and started to fight back when she felt his arms grab her body and haul her back against him roughly.

"SHUT UP, CAITLIN!!! AH'LL LISTEN TA NO MORE OF YER BLOODY FOOLISH RANTIN'!!!" Jordan roared as he imprisoned her against him. "Ah am sorry fer what was done ta ya, lass... but et was no' yer fault!!! Ah am no' blamin' you fer wha' some sick bastards did ta ya!!! Ah onle feel sick fer the fact tha' t'ah can no' take away the pain of wha' they did ta ya!!! Can ya no' see tha', lass?!!" he asked desperately as her body remained rigid in his arms.

"Caitlin..." he groaned miserably. "Wha' can ah do ta make ya see wha' t'ya mean ta mi, lass?"

"Prove ya still want mi, Jordan... fuck me, man. Take mi body... tis the only part of mi that's worth anythen'..." she stated hollowly.

Jordan squeezed his eyes shut. She was asking for the one thing he was afraid he couldn't do. He loosened his hold and turned her around to face him. Tears gathered in his eyes as he stared into her large soulless orbs.

"Ah canna fuck ya, Caitlin..." he began, pausing when her eyes winced slightly. "But ah well make love ta ya, lass... even though tis no' the only then' yer worth ta me, bu' tis all yer willen' ta take from mi," he said softly as his eyes filled to overflowing.

His tears were Caitlin's undoing. "Ahhh Jordan... ah canna take thes!!! Ah am no' worthy o' causin' ya pain!!!" she cried as she turned away from him. "How can ya love mi when ah can no' love miself?!! Ah am na good fer ya... fer anyone!!! No' en this lifetime... ah jus hope ah well fin' d'ya again en the nex' t'one before ah manage ta muck up et up again..." she muttered through her tears.

Jordan forcefully wiped his tears away. "Jus wha' the hell doos tha' mean, Caitlin?!! Wha' es thes nunsense you keep spouten' about 'thes lifetime' o' the nex' t'one!!! Yer makin' no damn sense, woman!!! Yer makin' no damn sense about anythin'!!! Ya have a man who loves ya standin' righ' en fron' t'of ya, an' yer doin' everythin' en yer power ta push mi away!!! WHY?!! AH WAN' T'YA TA KEEP EXPLAININ' IT UNTIL AH UNDERSTAN'!!!" he yelled angrily.

Caitlin drew in a ragged breath and leaned on the edge of the bed. She sniffed softly and swiped at her cheeks with her hand as she started to speak. "Ah met an old man one day who was chanten' some curious language out en a patch o' woods near where ah grew up. He claimed he was practicen' an ancient ritual handed down through the generations of the men en hes family who were Druid priests. Ah was fascinated by how at ease he seemed and kept askin' 'im questions about the Druids."

She snorted a laugh as she continued, "He kept tellin' mi ta leave hem be... hi' could no' share the ancient secrets weth a girl! But, bein' stubborn as ah am, ah eventually wore 'im down and hi' admitted that hi' had no son to pass hes knowledge to, so hi' shared et weth mi. One o' the thengs the Druids believe en es somethin' they call transmigration."

She looked up at him as she explained. "The Druids belive thet all liven' creatures have a lifeforce... an energy tha' they belive es the soul an' when the body dies, tha' energy doos no' jus fade away... et finds another body about ta enter the world an' bigens another life es someone else o' another creature. Ah do like the thought tha' ah well get another chance ta have a better life," she finished sadly as she looked down again.

Jordan put his fingers on her chin and forced her to look up at him again. "Ef ya really believe en thes... transmigration... then wha' guarantees da ya have tha' any other life would be better then the one ya have now?" he asked softly.

When she frowned in confusion, he continued. "En thes transmigration, da ya have the choice of what body ya get?" She shook her head. "Then, see... there are no guarantees! You could end up worse off than wha' ya have here... en thes life!!! An' you an' ah may never get thes chance again! Ah'm no' willin' ta take tha' chance, Caitlin... ah'm tellin' ya tha' ah wanta be with ya in THIS life! Why would ya throw tha' away an' hope for thes chance en another life?!! Et stell makes no sense ta mi, lass!"

Caitlin didn't like that what he was saying was making sense to her. She'd believed most of her life that she was not worthy of being loved... her temper made her act horribly at times... although it usually only erupted when it was completely justified! Those men had raped her because she'd blown up at them for trying to take liberties with her in the first place...

They'd blamed her... saying she'd enticed them by the way she'd looked at them! Being only fourteen the first time it happened, she'd wondered what she'd done wrong... and when it happened again, she realized it had been because she'd smiled at the man and acted friendly. The last time, when she was sixteen, the bastard had told her it was because she had no right to look the way she did, running an inn and not offering her services to the male patrons as part of the nightly charge!

That was when she'd told her Da that he would have to take over serving the patrons in the dining room at suppertime. She relegated all of her chores to doing things that did not put her in contact with the patrons. She cleaned the rooms after they were gone and prepared the meals, but she had as little to do with them as possible. And it had worked for the past two years... until this night...

Caitlin had been longing to know what it would be like to give herself willingly to a man. She'd felt sick when the last bastard had taken her and she'd found herself getting turned on by what he did to her...

He hadn't been a filthy old man like the previous two... he was a younger, very handsome and virile English nobleman and he'd been stunned when she'd slapped his hand away from her breast and then slapped his face and vehemently ranted at him for treating her like a slut! He'd waited until after all the other patrons had gone to bed and then snuck up on her in the kitchen, knocked her senseless and dragged her outside to a leaning tree by the stream far enough away so no one would hear her screams.

When she'd regained her senses, she found he'd bound her hands and feet around the tree in front of her and cut her clothing away from the back of her body. She'd been horrified to realize he was kneeling behind her, tonguing her... and it had felt good. She couldn't even think of what to say from the strange sensations her body had experienced and she'd had an orgasm... her first and only... until this night.

He'd just sneered and said, "See... you are a little slut! I'm doing this against your will and you're still enjoying it!" Then he'd raped her from behind... her pussy and ass... neither of which she'd enjoyed. As soon as he was done, he'd cut her loose and taken off on his horse, first reminding her that, because he was English nobility, she could not hope to have him charged with a crime... he was above the law.

Caitlin had sunk to the ground sobbing, wishing that she hadn't been tied to that damn tree so she could've fought the bastard and forced him to kill her... wishing to have suffered her mother's fate! And the bastard's words had rung in her head... she'd enjoyed what he'd done, even against her will... maybe she was a slut. She didn't deserve to be loved...

All she could offer was her body, and she'd been hoping to find a man who turned her on... who would take her and show her what it was like for a man and woman to share pleasure together. Jordan was the first man she'd ever seen that turned her on... he'd looked so trustworthy... like he'd never hurt a woman deliberately. And he'd shown her pleasure that was beyond her wildest dreams...

But now he wanted her love... an emotion she'd been feeling unworthy of either giving or receiving! And he was asking her why she couldn't be with him... why she couldn't accept his love... why she couldn't love him... Why indeed?!!

He was right... what had happened to her was NOT her fault... And maybe he was also right that they were meant to be together in this lifetime... if he could make her forget the horror of her humiliation at the tongue of that English bastard...

Caitlin looked up into Jordan's eyes, fresh tears gathering in hers. "Ah'm thinken' mayba yer right... mayba we do belong tagether en thes life. But ah need ya ta help me red mi soul of one last horrible mem'ry..." she said softly.

Jordan touched her cheek gently. "Anythin', Caitlin... ah'll do anythin' ef et well prove to ya tha' t'wi balong tagether," he replied earnestly.

"Ah want ya ta take mi from behind, Jordan. You were right... each time ah was taken against mi will, they bent mi over somethin' an' rammed mi from behind. Ah hev nightmares sometimes that wake mi up screamin' from the mem'ries. Ah wanta see ef you kin help red mi o' those nightmares... playse," she begged quietly.

Jordan pulled her up and hugged her to him for a moment, kissing the top of her head. "Ah'll do mah best, lass... all ya ned ta remember es thet you kin trust mi. Ah've no' done anythin' against yer will, so ef ya feel uncomf'table, all ya ned ta do es tell mi an' ah'll stop. Ya understan', darlin?" he asked gently.

She nodded her head, so he moved his hands to her face and lifted it to kiss her tenderly, gradually letting it deepen as he felt her relax. Then he let his hands roam over her body, caressing her softly until she was squirming provocatively against him.

He lifted his head from kissing her and waited until her doe eyes drifted partially open to see the desire in his. "Turn aroun' now, lass... an' jus trust me," he murmured sexily. When her back was to him, he slid his hand through her long hair and tucked it over her left shoulder. Then he bent his head down and trailed soft, wet nibbling kisses over her neck and right shoulder.

Jordan smiled slightly when he felt a tremor flow through her body. He slid his hands from her upper arms to her breasts and began to cup and caress them softly. Caitlin's body almost immediately began to writhe against him. His semi-erect cock fully hardened when her ass pressed against it trapped between them. She jerked slightly but did not pull away from him.

He continued to trail his lips on her neck and shoulder as his left hand fondled her breasts while his right slid down her abdomen and then lingered on her mound to swirl his fingers in her curls. "Ahhh, Caitlin... ah canna get over how beautiful yer body es, lass! Ah want ya so badly, my love... ah know you kin feel how badly ah want ya, darlin'," he whispered hoarsely next to her ear as he rubbed his hard cock against her soft, shapely ass.

"Aaaaaye," she sighed as her head pressed back against his left shoulder.

Jordan groaned when he slid his hand between her thighs. "God's blood, woman... yer so hot an' wet!!! But that's because you want mi, too... is tha' no' right, mi love?" he asked huskily as his fingers circled her clit softly.

"Aaaaaaaye... tis trrue!!!" she moaned as her hips undulated with the stroking of his fingers.

He backed his hips away from her slightly and used his left hand to ease his cock between her thighs as he sucked lightly on her neck and continued to circle her swollen clit with his fingers. Then he pumped his hips back and forth a little, stroking his shaft against her, feeling her soft hair tickling his hard flesh.

When her thighs spread a little wider, Jordan nipped her ear lobe and whispered, "When yer ready ta feel mi cock inside ya, lass... jus lean onto the bed an' ah promise ta be gentle."

Caitlin turned her head and stared up at him... there was nothing but desire in their eyes. She reached her right hand up and grasped Jordan's neck, pulling him down for a hot, deep kiss. When he groaned and squeezed her left nipple and snaked a finger up into her cunt as he ground his pelvis against her ass, she broke the kiss and muttered, "Ah'm ready, my love... take mi now!" as she bent forward over the bed.

Jordan quickly positioned his cock at her entrance and restrained himself from slamming inside her. Instead, he leaned down over her back with his forearms on either side of her, moved her hair to one side and kissed her back as he slowly slid into her. "Ahhh God, Caitlin... how ah've missed bein' inside ya, lass!!!" he moaned as he ground his cock inside her.

"Ohhh Jordan... ah canna believe how good thes feels!!!" she breathed as she moved her hips with his.

He put his right hand at her hip and urged her to scoot back from the edge of the bed, and then lifted her thigh and told her to prop her foot on the board that formed the edge of the rope supports. Then he slid his hand around to rub his fingers on her clit again as he continued to thrust into her slowly. "An' how doos et feel now, darlin?" he murmured huskily as he kissed and nipped at her shoulder blade.

"Aaaah fuckin' hell, Jordan! Ah'm already 'bout ta come!!!" she cried, and then buried her face into the bedclothes as she wailed loudly.

He continued stroking her to the rhythm of her pulsing flesh until he felt it slowing. Then he whispered next to her ear again, "Caitlin... da ya trust mi enough ta let mi take ya hard, lass? Ah'll only do et ef yer ready, darlin'... ah do no' wanta scare ya ef yer no' ready, but ah'm dyin' ta pound yer sweet flesh, woman! Ah was no' completely honest earlier when ah said ah did no' like ta take mi pleasure with a woman thataway. What ah shoulda said was ah did no' NEED ta always take mi pleasure thataway... but... sometimes mi lust an' desire git the better o' mi an' ah feel the need ta jus fuck like a rutting beast!!! Ah hope ah'm no' scarin' ya, love!" he said gently as he kissed her shoulder.

Caitlin lifted up slightly and twisted her head around to stare into his blazing eyes. A wave of pure excitement washed through her at his hot gaze and an answering fire roared to life in her heavy-lidded doe eyes.

She growled heatedly, "Then fuck mi hard, you lusty stud! An' don' t'ya dare hold anythin' back on mi! Show mi how badly ya need me, Jordan!!! RAM ME WITH YER GLORIOUS COCK UNTIL YA FILL MI WITH YER SEED!!!" she grated loudly as he straightened up and began pounding her furiously.

Jordan's mind was a blank as he grasped her hips and just started slamming into her for all he was worth. He was barely aware that she had buried her face into the bedding again and was screaming at the top of her lungs... not from fear or pain but from a massive orgasm!!!

His teeth gritted as he felt her cunt convulse on his cock, clenching him tighter than he'd ever felt before and then he roared loudly as his cock exploded inside her. He buried himself to the hilt, his head flopping backward and groaning as he pumped his seed inside her. That's when an important thought finally struck his brain...

He bent forward over her back again, feeling the heat radiating from both of their bodies as they breathed raggedly. "Caitlin... we've neither one of us mentioned the fact tha' you may already be carryin' my babe inside ya. Ya hafta understan', lass... even ef ya stell try ta back away from mi, ah'll no' back away from mah child. So you'd better get used ta the idea of havin' mi aroun' ef ah've given ya a babe."

She sighed heavily. "Oh Jordan... ah know you'd never abandon yer child. But ah don' think we hafta worry about that. Another one o' the thengs the old Druid priest taught mi was the ways of nature an' human reproduction. He taught mi the way ancient women had learned ta pay attention ta their monthly cycles an' how ta know when they could or could no' get pregnant. Ah would never trap a man by gettin' hem ta impregnate mi. Thes es no' a fertile time for mi," she said softly.

Though now ah wish e' t'were... she thought to herself.

Jordan cleared the lump in his throat that had sprung up from his unexpected disappointment that she'd taken away his chance to entrap her. But there was always the chance that she might not know her body as well as she thought and she could still very well end up with his child inside her... He let that thought keep his hope alive...

They wearily climbed back onto the bed and Caitlin snuggled her back against the front of Jordan's body. He wrapped his arms around her and struggled to breathe evenly through the tightness in his chest. He was determined never to let her go... but he also knew he couldn't force her to let him into her life. All he could do was try to prove to her how much he loved her and hope she would accept it and love him back...

**********

When Jordan woke up, early morning sunlight was streaming through the slats of the shutters covering the one small window in his room. He suddenly sat up and looked all around, but Caitlin was nowhere to be seen. He slid off the bed, went to the window, lifted it and pushed the shutters open to let in more light, wincing as his eyes adjusted to the bright sunshine.

He glanced out the window across the way toward the stable and saw Caitlin coming out with his kilt bundled in her arms. She was dressed like a domestic in sensible work attire with a piece of cloth secured around her long hair... and still she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Jordan closed his eyes and growled softly, willing his groin to stop tingling.

He'd had more sex in the previous twelve hours than he'd had in the last twelve months! But what he and Caitlin had shared was more than just sex... he'd never experienced such pleasure with any other woman. He'd always done his best to make sure he'd given pleasure to the women who'd deigned to lay with him... but none of them had ever desired him the way Caitlin did!

Jordan did not want to give that up... to give her up... he had to make her see they were made for each other. They were meant to be together... in this life... in the next life... for all eternity. His life would seem meaningless without her... she felt like the missing part of his soul that he'd searched all over Europe for.

Jordan's mother and father and his sisters loved him, but his mother's family had never really accepted him or his father. They were not true Scotsmen... his father was a Welsh-Irish half-breed and Jordan was only a third Scottish. It was his mother's family that had taken to calling him a "mutt."

He'd grown up feeling like he didn't belong anywhere... his parents' house was the only place he felt welcome. Everywhere else he went on Islay, everyone made jokes and laughed behind his back... the nickname "Mutt" started to hound him everywhere he went. He'd tried to laugh it off and make everyone think he didn't give a damn what they thought about him, but it still hurt.