Parts of Desire Ch. 01

"Make yourself at home..." I started.

"You have a queen bed and I have a single, it makes sense that we are in your room", she retorted. "And I am freezing. I hate your weather. I want your body heat."

"So what comes next?" I asked.

"Ryan, I don't know what to say or do. I have prayed for guidance, but I cannot talk to any of my friends about you, even my friends here in Canada. I don't know how I am feeling or what is inside me as it is all so new and unexpected. I am torn between east and west, between heart and head, between what I want and what I know is right." She choked, a little bit, and I realized she was fighting back tears. I started stroking her hair as she continued.

"If I were a Western woman, I would probably want you to ask me to be my boyfriend. I like you. I like what we have together and it feels the way a relationship should feel, at least according to what I imagine it should feel like. We are friends, we trust each other, we both have mutual physical attraction. That should be enough, that sounds like what you and my girlfriends here describe as being worthy of a relationship. And yet, I must remain a virgin, because inevitably I am going home in a few weeks, and when I do, I will not return. Saudi women are not permitted to travel outside the country without a male relative's permission, and I wouldn't get it for a 'booty call', as the girls here say. I also don't want you to abandon everything you know to follow me when we've only known each other such a short time.

"So if I chose to stay here, I would be abandoning everything at home, my family and my friends. And truth be told, I miss my home. I miss hearing the adhan, the call to prayer, played five times a day from the mosques. I miss the sun and the warmth. I miss the scent of frankincense and rosewater in the air. I miss kebabs from the grill stands on the roadsides, and I miss wandering the souqs shopping and taking in the sights. I miss hearing my own language spoken around me and being in a place where I know the rules of society, even if I am working to try to change some of them. I feel like a stranger here, and while the girls in the education program here have been welcoming, I have never managed to feel like I fit in anywhere in Canada, except in this little world, between these walls, with you.

"I must return, and I want to return. There can be no long-term future between us. And because of that, I have a hard time allowing myself to explore any more of my sexuality with you, even though I want it desperately. Even though I have thought of it constantly for the past two weeks."

"What about your fiancé?" I asked.

"I have never even met him", she answered. "I do not doubt that someday we will wind up married. But it is hard for me to convince myself that I am being dishonourable to a man I haven't even met and have no present connection with."

Rania shifted and wrapped her leg around me as I cuddled her. I suddenly became very aware of the radiant heat between her legs pressing against my thigh. Her breath was warm on my neck, and I was enveloped by the scent of her floral perfume.

"We shouldn't have sex, then", I answered. "I am not willing to do something that might hurt you or jeopardize your future."

"That is for the best", she said, "although I am having trouble convincing myself of that right now."

"So what do you want to do?" I asked.

Rania paused. "What do you mean?"

"Well..." I wasn't sure what she didn't understand. "We could do other things... like as long as there's no penetration you're still a virgin."

"I suppose you're right", she said, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. Then suddenly she leaned over and kissed me.

I could feel the heat of her body press against me as our lips and tongues gently explored each other. I continued stroking her hair as she leaned over me, and I could feel the swell of her breasts pressing down on me as we made out. She hadn't changed positions from earlier, so I could still feel the heat of her crotch pressing against my thigh, and as the makeout session heated up I felt her start gently rocking her clitoris against me as she straddled my leg.

At length she finally withdrew, panting hard. Her jet-black hair fell in my face as she looked down at me, a satisfied smirk on her face.

"You don't kiss like a woman", she said matter-of-factly.

"I should hope not?" I responded.

"Women kiss more softly. You're more aggressive, a little rougher", she answered. "I like it. It's not better or worse, just different. In a good way."

I responded by rolling her onto her back and kissing her again, roughly. Her legs parted and I slid my leg between hers, and once again the oven started gently, slowly grinding against me. Her leg maneuvered between mine, and she made a noise of appreciation as she noticed the hard bulge of my erection. I traced a pattern down her chest and pulled back from a kiss as I reached a spot just above her right breast. She looked me in the eye and nodded, and with that I took it in my hand. She sighed with pleasure as I gently traced a pattern around her nipple with my fingertips, coaxing it erect.

I leaned in and kissed her neck and a moan escaped her, and as I started kissing and gently sucking her neck I reached under her shirt and let my hand rise up to her breasts again. She was wearing what felt like a lace bra to me, and I noticed and quickly undid the front-loading clasp with one hand. She pulled back and looked at me in surprise.

"Very talented", she said approvingly. She kissed me quickly one more time, then sat up. "I've seen your body now, at least a little bit, so I think I should return the favour. This isn't easy for me, but I want to do it."

With that she quickly peeled off her top and bra. Her chest was flushed, and I saw her breasts for the first time. They were impossibly perky, with erect dark nipples slightly larger than miniature marshmallows topping puffy areolas barely larger than the nipples themselves. Her stomach was flat and toned, with just a hint of an outie belly button. She quickly lay back down again and took my hand. I could feel her hands shaking with nervousness, but there was no hesitation as she placed my hand back on her breast as she resumed kissing me.

In time I worked my way down her body and took her large nipple into my mouth and sucked gently. She yelped with pleasure, and I felt her legs close around mine as the intensity of her rubbing against my leg picked up.

After several minutes we finally stopped making out and Rania sat up, cross-legged. She touched her wet, impossibly erect nipple experimentally, and shuddered. I sat up along with her and quickly peeled off my shirt. She looked up and down my chest and grinned, devilishly, in approval, then slowly reached out and started touching up and down my chest, tentatively at first, then with more aggression and confidence. I could feel my cock straining in my pants as she explored me.

"I love your body", she finally breathed.

"I love yours", I responded. "Your tits are magnificent."

She blushed. "How do people in the west figure out how far to go? At home I don't believe we have this problem; you do nothing until marriage and then you go all the way."

"That depends", I answered. "How far do you want to go?"

"Since we had that night on the couch, I have thought about your penis every day", she said matter-of-factly. I grinned -- it definitely never got old hearing that. "I dream about what it would feel like inside me."

"I've thought about that too", I admitted.

She grinned with satisfaction. "Ryan, I want to have sex with you as badly as I have ever wanted anything. But at the same time, I know it is not worth it and there is something holding me back. Do westerners deal with these feelings?"

"All the time", I answered. "That's the debate the whole time until you have sex for the first time. How far do I want to go? How far does my partner want to go? And so on. Loads of people cross their boundaries too and go farther than they want, because of hormones."

"I can understand how that happens." She looked me in the eye. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

"I like you a lot", I responded truthfully, "and I want to have sex with you so badly I can think of nothing else right now. But at the same time, I care about you enough not to want to do anything that could ruin your future."

Rania sighed in frustration. "No penetration then. I want to see your cock again though." She blushed as soon as the words were out, covered her mouth and looked away.

I quickly stripped out of my pants and underwear, and my erection, finally freed, erupted out as soon as my jeans were off. Rania looked, savouring the view, and licked her lips unconsciously. "May I touch it?"

"Of course."

She reached out her hand, slowly, tentatively, as though she was slightly afraid of it, and finally grasped it just below the head. She gently ran her fingers up and down it, experimentally. "It's so hard!" she exclaimed.

"It kind of has to be to get inside you", I answered.

Her feathery touches were like torture. As she explored me I reached out and started tweaking and caressing her nipples again. She squirmed and sighed as she touched me, and finally wrapped her hand around my throbbing cock and started gently caressing it up and down.

"Is this right?" she asked.

"It feels amazing", I answered. "Your hands are so soft."

As she stroked me, without missing a beat, Rania grasped my right hand by the wrist and directed it, firmly, down towards the waistline of her leggings, stopping just as my fingertips reached her waistband. She looked at me with pleading eyes, and I slowly slid my hand inside her pants.

As I moved lower I was surprised to find her mound perfectly smooth and hairless. I slowly kept going, and felt her body tense up as I finally reached her intimate area. She was impossibly wet. I could feel the gusset of her panties soaked with her juices on the top of my hand as I started stroking slowly up and down her hot, flooded labia.

We touched each other for a few moments, and I could feel Rania trying to bear down on my hand to get pressure on her clit; pressure which I was not inclined to give her just yet. Finally, in frustration, she pulled back and threw her leggings and panties off in one motion.

"Surely, Ryan, western women like pressure on their clitoris too? It's right here!" she said, exasperated, as she spread her labia and showed me where her hard button was located. Her pussy was compact and small, with dark inner labia surrounded by puffy outer ones, and her erect clit was peeking out of its hood. Every surface between her legs was flooded with moisture and glistened in the low light.

I smiled at her. "I know where your clit is, my dear, I'm just torturing you."

She glared back. "Well, stop it." With that she took my fingers and started using them to rub a circular pattern on the hood of her clit.

I could feel the firm nub of her clit beneath my fingertips as she expertly and rhythmically stroked herself with my hand. I took her free hand and guided it back to my cock, and started stroking myself using her hand. She stared as I did this.

"My goodness, this is so hot", she breathed.

I felt her increase the speed and pressure on her clit as we stroked each other, and presently I could feel my fingertip gliding firmly and directly over her rock-hard button. Suddenly, she grunted loudly and I felt her body shake, and she slowed down the speed of my hand on her clit as she rode through her orgasm. As she finished convulsing, she collapsed backwards on the bed, releasing me from her grip.

"Give me a minute", she said, breathing heavily. I watched her pert breasts rising and falling as I gently stroked myself to stay hard. She stared unashamedly at my cock as I stroked it, a look on her face that looked like years of pent-up frustration and desire coming to the surface. She was beautiful, flushed, glistening with sweat and cum from head to toe, her dark hair strewn loosely across her face. As I stroked, I stared at her pussy, now just a simple bare crevasse slick with moisture, hiding its secrets from my gaze.

"I don't know why", I said, "but somehow I wasn't expecting you to shave."

"I wax it", she responded. "Saudi women aren't prudes, we're comfortable with our own bodies and we like taking care of them the same as any other women. I like it better like this, it feels cleaner and it kind of turns me on too."

Presently she caught her breath, and sat up, still gazing directly between my legs. "I've heard men can't have multiple orgasms like women can, is that true?"

"I might be good for two in a night, if I have a break between them", I responded, "but in general, yes, you're right."

"Poor men", she grinned, and pushed me down onto my back as she climbed on top of me, straddling me at waist level. She grabbed my cock with her hand, angling it towards her opening. It suddenly registered to me that she was out-of-control, as I felt her sopping wet hole make contact with the head of my dick. I felt her weight push down against me, begging me to slide inside of her, and I instinctively pulled back.

"Rania, I don't want to have sex with you, because I know it's not really what you want", I said, suddenly concerned. "If you really want to, you have to tell me so when you're not horny. I don't want your hormones making a decision right now that you'll have to suffer for in the future."

She pouted. "I know you're right. But I still want it inside me so badly."

Instead, Rania lowered her pussy onto the underside of my cock. I could feel myself get flooded with her juices as she slowly started riding up and down.

"Does this feel good?" she asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe"

"I think I would believe it", she said as she rested her weight down on my body and started grinding.

It wasn't sex, but it was about the closest thing I could have imagined. Rania was unashamed and confident as she rode me, her hips grinding, her pussy wet and slippery against my cock, her tits jutting proudly out of her body, her face contorted in a look of concentration and pleasure. I reached around and put my hands on her ass, guiding her into a rhythm that worked for both of us. She was breathing hard, letting out little moans of pleasure with each breath as she stroked her clit against my cock.

"I'm going to cum soon", I heard myself say, as I felt the stirrings of an explosion starting to build in my groin.

"Good, baby, give it all to me, fill me up inside", she responded, and added another gear to her ministrations, riding now at high speed and yelping with pleasure. I finally burst with a grunt, and Rania leaned back, still gently sliding her pussy against me, to watch the semen explode from under her onto my chest. She stared, fascinated.

As my orgasm subsided, Rania leaned down and touched the pool of cum. "It's warm!" she exclaimed.

"Yes?"

"It was cold by the time I went to clean it off my pyjamas last time", she said. "I remember thinking how it would kill the mood being filled up with cold goop. This, this is much better."

"Are you close to another orgasm?" I asked her.

"Fairly", she responded.

"Come here."

I pulled her up my body until she was straddling my face, and she looked down at me in some alarm. "Are you sure about this?"

"Are you?"

"Well... am I not unclean?"

"No, and I don't care anyway", I responded, and licked from bottom to top of her sopping opening.

"OooooooOOOOOOOH!" she yelped as I found her clit. "I've never done this before... oooooooohhh!"

With that, Rania abandoned all sense of shame and bore her hips down to give me easy access to her clit. I took it in my mouth, licking and sucking all around it, up and down and circling around the hood.

"Oh Ryan, this is amazing... oh!" Rania screamed as I ate her out. I felt more wetness seep out of her onto my chin. I looked up at her face to see her staring down at me, both of her hands cupping both of her boobs and her thumbs tweaking her nipples. "I love this view... your handsome face between my legs... I need to remember this... Ah!"

She suddenly, violently orgasmed, her legs squeezing together around my head and blocking out all further noise as I licked her through a climax that felt like it took forever. She grasped onto the headboard of my bed for dear life as her body convulsed uncontrollably and her legs squeezed my head. As she finally finished riding it out, she collapsed completely onto the bed, spent.

I reached around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as she lay, drenched, catching her breath again. At length she finally got up. "I must perform ghusl", she said, and disappeared into the bathroom. Several minutes later, she returned, wrapped in a towel, and collapsed into bed with me. She lay her head on my shoulder and kissed me.

"You taste like vagina", she said matter-of-factly.

"How do you feel?" I asked her.

"Like I have been asleep for 23 years and have finally awakened", she responded. "I know women who are married and talk about sex with their husbands. None of them have ever spoken of anything like this. This was intense, passionate, everything I ever dreamed of."

"Are you glad or disappointed we didn't have sex?" I pressed.

"Both", she admitted. "I can't help but feel like if this was that good, then having you inside me would only feel better. Like there's one more level on top of this and I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like, if this was that incredible. But at the same time, I know that I would regret it as soon as I returned home, so I'm glad that in that sense, my virginity is still preserved. You are a good man, Ryan. Thank you for not letting me do something I would have regretted."

"You're welcome", I answered. She leaned over and kissed me again.

"So you've got three weeks left until you return home", I pointed out. "How do you want to spend them?"

Rania snuggled in and pulled the covers over our bodies. "I don't ever want to leave this bed."

In time, we both fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms.

I was awakened before dawn by the unfamiliar tones of the call to prayer coming from Rania's cell phone. She rolled over, out of bed, and silenced it, then disappeared to pray. I lay in bed, running everything over in my head, trying to figure out what the future held for us, if this was a relationship, a rebound fling, what I felt about her, what she felt about me. I'd never been in such an ambiguous situation before, and part of me was thinking it was going to be nice to get a rebound out of my system since I knew it had a firm expiration date, while the other part of me was mentally making plans to investigate Saudi visa applications and drop my entire life in Canada to be with her.

In time, she returned, and climbed back into bed with me. It was still early on a Sunday morning, and we had the entire day ahead of us.

"Ryan, whatever the future holds for both of us, I want you to know that I have no regrets about this", Rania started, as though she'd been reading my mind. "I plan to spend the next three weeks enjoying this Canadian life with you as my boyfriend, and then I will return home. If anything more is meant to be for us, then it will be, inshallah. I am so grateful to have met, and lived with, and made love with my Mr. Marion."

"Inshallah", I repeated. "Sometimes a relationship is meant to last a lifetime, sometimes it is only meant to last a day. If this one is meant to last these three weeks, then I intend to make as much of them as I can. If it's meant to last longer, then we will find that out then."

And as I pulled my Arabian princess closer to me, I finally understood the meaning of the phrase. Inshallah -- if God allows it. While I was not a religious person, I felt a tremendous sense of peace in leaving our future in the hands of fate. For today, there was a fresh coat of snow outside, and as the rising sun started sneaking between the gaps in my window blinds, all I wanted was to be with my Rania, for as long as the world would allow us to be together.