Perspectives Series: Jess Pt. 01

Colors seemed more brilliant, my lunchtime deli sandwich that I'd been ordering for the past two years somehow tasted better. Everyone in the office was friendlier. I had a whole different perspective about everything. It felt like someone just gave me 20/20 vision after being near-sighted for a very long time.

My apartment felt very empty that evening and I was lonely -- not just alone, but really lonely. I didn't know what to do with myself and so I spent a long time just sitting and staring at the television thinking about Simon.

During commercials I would shut my eyes to more clearly conjure up an image of his face. I could feel his stare stripping me down until I felt completely exposed to him. In this most vulnerable state, was where I kept daring myself to go. It was as close to addiction as I'd ever been. So absolutely consumed by the thought of surrendering to him, I could think of little else.

When my phone rang late Wednesday night, I jumped up to get it. I was hungry for his voice and I longed to see him. I could tell from his tone that he was exhausted.

"Hello."

~Hey, sweetie, how are you?

"I'm OK. How are you?"

~It was a long day for me. Did you miss me?

"More than I can express." I had to confess.

~I've missed you, too. Tomorrow I have to work late, but I'll be over around 9 to tuck you into bed.

"Uh, OK."

~Do you have other plans?

"NO, not at all. Tomorrow night will be perfect."

~OK. I'll see you then.

It wasn't perfect. It was a disaster, but I was afraid he was going to change his mind if I complained about it. After all, it isn't like he can just change his whole work life just so he can spend all his time with me.

My mind kept wandering at work; I couldn't think of anything except him all day long. Nine O'clock couldn't come quick enough for me.

The wait was worth the greeting. He let himself in the front door, ran up to me and picked me up into his arms. We kissed, and hugged, and laughed, and talked. Like old friends getting together for the first time in years. Could that much have happened in one day? I was giddy with excitement, and all the crazy fears I had in my head were gone. What is a normal relationship anyway?

Simon left that night with nothing more than a long, goodnight kiss at the door. The sexual break was good for me because it gave me some evidence of what I wanted to believe: this wasn't just a casual fling.

The weekend was approaching and that meant no work, no distractions, nothing but Simon. How I longed to be lost in his world.

Chapter 7

Thank God it's Friday. My cell phone alerted me to a text message. It was from Simon. He didn't usually text me but I was excited nonetheless to hear from him. The text read: White blouse, short skirt of your choice, heels, and nothing else. 7 pm.

Game on. I could feel the dull throbbing between my thighs again. His instructions had such an effect on me. Just then, unexpectedly, my phone rang.

"I was just thinking about you", I teased.

~I'm looking at a picture of you right now.

I'd almost forgotten about the picture -- he only had one of me. I felt my cheeks begin to flush as I pictured him staring at my pussy on his laptop in his office. Full-blown, blushing red and wet, right there on a flat screen in corporate mid-town. I could picture his piercing eyes and the growing hard-on in his pants.

~I can't wait to see you tonight, baby. Don't forget.

Long after I hung up the phone I could still hear his husky voice. I don't know where the next two hours went, but at around 3, I just gave up and went home. I couldn't stand the agony in the office. At least at home I could pace back and forth, clean the house, and run laps around the coffee table -- something to relieve the tension. In my office I just felt like a caged animal.

At 7pm, Simon walked in. He looked particularly handsome in a navy blue button-down and blue jeans. His kiss was passionate, and it was obvious that he missed me during the day as much as I missed him. His hand immediately slipped into my blouse and cupped my breast. I gasped. Not so much because it was shocking or unexpected, but because it was just so familiar and felt so right...and because I nearly came.

We went back to Bluestem for dinner. It felt good to go somewhere both familiar and particularly ours. This was, after all, the site of our first date, and exactly one week later. It seemed odd to me that it had only been one week. It felt like a month, or a year.

I was strangely comfortable wearing my white blouse with no bra. I didn't think much about it, even when I took notice of the stares. Simon sat close beside me and ordered the same food lineup for both of us as before. He never seemed to take his eyes off me and when he slipped his hand into my blouse at the table, I didn't seem to notice at first. Our waiter, Jim returned with our wine and coughed nervously when Simon failed to remove his hand from my blouse, and continued to caress me in front of him. I couldn't make eye contact with Jim, I was just too embarrassed. I tried to cover Simon's hand with my arm but this made Simon even more determined. His hand was in plain sight of anyone passing by. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. I felt hot all over.

Simon withdrew his hand from my blouse. As quickly as it began, it was over. Our food soon arrived and we continued normally, except that I felt a sense of urgency. The embarrassment really intensified my arousal, and I couldn't eat my meal fast enough.

Just before entering the apartment, I felt almost panicked. Should I try to undress him again? Should I undress myself? My head was spinning.

"Just relax, baby. I'll take care of everything."

I couldn't imagine how he could tell what I was feeling. Or maybe he just got lucky. Either way, his soothing words were instantly comforting and I could feel myself relax at the thought of him taking charge.

Simon sat down on the sofa and smiled a little wicked grin.

"What?" I asked.

"I want you to do something for me."

"Well, you've never been shy before...out with it...what do you want?" I asked playfully.

"I want you to dance for me."

"Dance? Are you kidding me?"

He stopped smiling. "No."

"Okay."

I could feel myself get tense. Clearly I didn't understand the request because I wasn't dancing there long before he said, "Strip off your clothes."

I had to bite my lip to keep from giggling. I think the nervousness was getting the better of me. He wasn't amused and when all my clothes were lying on the floor, he pulled me onto his lap and began vigorously massaging my breasts. Simon had never been even the least bit aggressive with me, and it started to make me feel uncomfortable.

"Unbutton my jeans...Now pull out my cock."

This was the first time I'd actually seen him exposed. It was nice. Not too huge, not too small. It was more slender and long than bulky and wide. And it was hard, and erect. He watched me examine it with my eyes. He then placed his hand on my neck like he had several times before when he kissed me, but this time he directed my face to his lap. I began licking and kissing his head but that wasn't what he wanted. He held his hard dick with one hand toward my mouth, and grabbed my hair with his other hand. He then more forcefully applied pressure, until his cock was sinking deep into my mouth, and down my throat. I found it difficult not to gag.

He pulled me back away by my hair and tilted my face upward until we were looking directly at one another. His stern gaze told me what I needed to know. Don't question, and always take him seriously, or there will be consequences.

He released my hair and smiled. I read his suggestion and began sliding my hands up and down his hard shaft. I attacked the head of his cock with my mouth and tongue as if I was starving and this was the only food available. I was whipping myself into a frenzy of stroking and sucking; I hardly noticed when Simon laid his head back on the sofa and began to moan. His hips were moving with the motion, and it was obvious he was close to exploding.

He came partly in my mouth, and partly on my cheek and chin. I wore his cum proudly, as I felt completely victorious, and very near to orgasm, myself. I wiped my chin clean with my finger -- scooping all the cum inside my mouth. I continued my housekeeping by licking every drop from the head of his penis, and sucking every remnant from my own fingers. Simon watched me intently as though inspecting my work, and this made me try even harder.

He assisted me onto my feet and caressed my knees lovingly, first with his hands and then with his kisses. I began to tremble with anticipation. He was so close to my extremely wet pussy. My scent must've been strong from where he was sitting and the wetness obvious as even my thighs were soaked. I wanted so much for him to please me again, and I couldn't have been more obvious about it.

He gently placed his hands on my waist and stood up. He was still partly stiff but not hard like before. He moved his hands to my shoulders, rubbing them and caressing my neck. All the while, he was looking into my eyes in quiet deliberation. His hands began to apply pressure onto my shoulders, queuing me to kneel. I did so swiftly and obediently. He touched my inner thighs with his feet, and in doing so, I spread my knees as far apart as I could get them. Touching my upper arms with gentle pressure guided them to rest behind my back with my wrists crossing behind me. My head tilted back to look at him.

It was at this moment that it happened. I let all the stresses of the outside world go. Nothing mattered outside of that room, and there was no reason to be afraid or ashamed of anything, anymore. My mind was free of doubt and guilt; I can only describe the feeling as being intensely, utterly and unconditionally at peace. I was completely surrendering to him.

As he watched me in silence, he must've understood my transformation. His dick began to grow harder, and his breathing was heavy. His mouth must've gone dry as I could see him struggling to swallow while his chest heaved. I'd never seen him quite like that and the sight was almost more than I could bear. He became more intensely aroused as he gazed down at me in silence.

My mind cleared, and I didn't wonder what was next or question or even hope. I just waited there. I only wanted to please him. To return this gift of completeness he had given me.

Simon lifted me to my feet and held me close to him. He stroked my hair for a moment, and gently kissed my forehead. This is just the beginning.

Chapter 8

Simon and I walked into the bedroom as though we were completing some ritualistic act. It felt a lot like we were walking down the aisle toward an altar with sincere reverence. Simon finished undressing and exhibited a half-smile when he noticed my scarf on top of my nightstand. It was a reminder to me of a very wonderful night in that very room. He snatched it up, and before he could say anything, I just instinctively placed my arms above my head. He tied me to the bed this time and ran his hands down to my chest. He first dragged every finger across my hard nipples, and then flicked them with his tongue: Back and forth, rotating between them.

He then sat back and began stroking his hard-on while he stared at my moist, hard nipples. He was engorged, and I wanted to take him into my mouth. I'm not usually that anxious to give head but something had changed in me and I wanted to just please him in whatever way he wanted. I feared that he might just finish the job himself and leave me there in agonizing pain but he didn't.

He slid between my legs on the bed. The suspense was killing me, and I wanted to just move my hips to force him inside me, but the restraints stopped me. His wicked little grin gave him away. It was apparent that he was enjoying the teasing even more than I was.

"Please?" I whispered in a barely-audible, husky voice.

"I didn't hear you", he teased.

"Please?!"

He chuckled for a couple of moments. "Please what?"

I'm actually pretty comfortable using somewhat lewd language. Maybe it's because I'd grown up and worked around men my entire life. My girlfriends would go as far as to call me vulgar. But it's an entirely different story when the situation is intimate. I'd always had a little problem talking dirty in bed.

I squirmed a bit before answering.

"Please make love to me."

His quizzical expression made me instantly realize that I had chosen the wrong words.

"Make love to you? Are you sure that's what you want? I think you want something a bit different."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Fuck me."

"You forgot to say the magic word."

"I'm sorry. Please fuck me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure. Please, please...fuck me!"

In one swift motion, he slid inside me. It wasn't difficult to do -- I was incredibly wet and very ready to receive him. I gasped, and with his next thrust, began my journey to an orgasm. He only pumped a couple more times and I was there. He wasn't finished, however, and continued to drive harder and faster. His eyes never left mine, and his constant stare made me feel very vulnerable. I didn't think it would be possible, but I came a second time before he finally came.

My arms were aching from the overhead position but I didn't care. I laid there breathing hard, spent and exhausted. Simon released me from the bed but left the scarf tied around my left wrist.

That was the first night that Simon slept over.

Waking up in the morning in his arms was heavenly, and I didn't want to get out of bed. I secretly hoped he would tie me up and keep me here in his safe, secret world all day.

I wasn't awake long when I realized that nature was calling -- right on time as usual. I began to slip out of the sheets when his hand grabbed my wrist and squeezed it, holding me in place.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just running to the bathroom, babe."

His grip remained tight but he didn't say anything, he just laid there with his eyes closed like he was asleep.

"May I please go to the bathroom?"

With that, he let go of my wrist.

At work, and in my personal life, I am the boss. I've always been a natural leader and my strong-willed, sharp business sense coupled with my quick wit has always rendered me in positions of influence. I make a thousand decisions daily, and direct the business that affects multi-million-dollar deals.

So, where is this coming from? How can it be acceptable for me to have to ask to use my own bathroom? It wasn't only acceptable that he demanded that of me, I would have been disappointed if he hadn't.

There were so many questions, and no answers. It was just too complicated to think about that early in the morning, on a Saturday.

When I returned, Simon was lying on his back, awake. I snuggled in next to him, under his arm, and began kissing his neck. He didn't move and made no indication that this was pleasing to him. In fact, he seemed to not notice -- he was deep in thought, staring at the ceiling. In past relationships, this is where I would turn on the female wiles and pout. I didn't dare do that with Simon.

He finally rolled onto his side and looked me directly in the eyes. He just stared at me for a long time. At first, I feared he was upset about my oversight earlier. Surely he would give a rookie a break; this was all so new to me. But then I realized that wasn't it at all. His stare had an amazing way of bringing me back to our special place -- one not connected with reality for me.

He began stroking my face, and his gentleness sent a warmth through my body. I felt like I had the night before on the floor, completely at his mercy. He smiled and looking into my eyes, he gently whispered, "I know."

I can't describe the vulnerability I felt, the absolute intimacy we shared. I can only guess that's why I said what I did.

"Do you know that I would do anything for you?"

With a quiet confidence, he answered simply, "Yes."

My wish was going to come true. Simon once again tethered me to the bed. The excitement was beginning to build inside me, when he got up out of bed and went to the bathroom. I waited and listened. Several moments later, the shower started running.

Twenty minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Simon was dressed, wearing all of his clothes. He must've taken them in there with him without my noticing. I was confused and a little shocked. What is happening?

"I've got to run a couple of errands, but I'll bring you breakfast first. Would you like a bagel?"

"Um...sure."

He pecked me on the cheek and left the apartment swiftly. I was left stunned at what just happened. At first the silence was deafening, and then I started to relax and allow my senses to absorb the surroundings.

It's amazing how much you hear when you are lying perfectly still. The wind outside was blowing gently; I could hear the glass of the window shake slightly as it gusted past. Barely audible was the sound of a television or a radio -- I couldn't tell which. The birds chirped outside, several different tunes, but I couldn't identify the species. What is that squeaking noise? Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak...sounds like a ceiling fan, maybe. Must be from the downstairs apartment. Silence...squeak, squeak, squeak...silence, squeak, silence...what could that be? I pondered it for probably 5 minutes before I figured out that it must be a hamster or a gerbil on one of those wheels. Do gerbils still exist? How many years since I've seen a gerbil? Do the people downstairs really own a rodent? I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. Unfortunately, it sauntered right down Office Avenue. I was replaying in my mind a conference call I had on Friday when I was yanked back to my bedroom by the sound of a click at the front door. For a brief moment, I felt terrified. What if it isn't Simon? I held my breath.

A moment later, Simon popped his head in the door to show me it was him and hold up a bag from the store. I released my breath. I could hear him in the kitchen. I wish I would've had a chance to clean better. I could hear him rifling through the drawers. I finally came to the conclusion that if that was going to be the one thing that humiliated me most that day, then that would be a real feat.

Simon assisted me in eating breakfast while tied-up. I assumed he would untie me and that would be the end of the game, but I was wrong. Dead wrong.

It was kind of fun and romantic eating bagels in bed together. Simon began to talk about how he needed to go to his house and get a few things, run by the store, and get the oil changed in the Volvo. I became aware that there was no we in his list of errands, only I. I started to feel a little panicky inside. I've never had a very good poker face, and so I know my widening eyes were a clear sign of my disapproval of this plan.

He read my face perfectly. With a very smug expression on his face, he leaned close to my ear and spoke.

"You said you would do anything for me."

I held my breath for a moment. It's true, I did say that but I meant anything, you-know, sexual. And I said it in the heat of passion and um...I don't know... I was running out of excuses in my head. It didn't matter, because he wasn't looking for a response. He left before I could form the objection.

I looked at the bedside clock. It read 10:30.

I laid there and thought about work for awhile, and then I tried to figure out what was on the neighbor's television. It was no use, the sound was too faint. I decided to play a game to occupy my mind: Name species of birds starting with "A" all the way to "Z". Albatross, Bluebird, Canary, Dodo, Egret, Finch, Goldfinch...or is that the same as Finch? Um, OK...goose, hummingbird, I, what begins with I? I can't think of anything. Oh, this is ridiculous.