by andromon
Really needs an editor as if that would even help! Also, from the narrative, the the kid is dumber than a dirt clod . . . .
andromon seems to have written this flash scene raw! The images were popping in his had & he was recording them in his hand-held device. He fid not embellish anything, the story is RAW.
What happens next? Each of has to use his/her own imagination.
This story does not try to hide anything about its subject, that's why i like it: mom's BDSM date went wrong; her voyeur son is there to help her!
Liked the first chapter (if you do plan on continuing). Maybe next, you could do the mom's perspective? She could possibly remember getting raped. Or make a similar story in which the mom was drugged. Maybe she gets used by a gang, then her son comes home and takes advantage of his drugged and chained mother?
very intense and powerful writing
intriguing & engaging concept
shocking in its delivery.
is it a story ?
is it half of a story ?
is it only the start of a story ?
tales like this that leave you with more questions than answers are like those annoying tunes that once you hear them, they rattle around in your head & you find yourself whistling or singing to them unexpectedly throughout the day.
with these type of tales hours later ,
you find yourself distracted by them at odd moments when you least expect it
you find yourself waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with vague memorys of the disturbing story . .
I came back home after drinking with friends....
I saw her on the coffee table, gagged and blindfolded...
So I used her, the roughest I could, vagina and anus.
Then I left home
She will never know.
And every time I find her vulnerable I will use her.
Ok, so it is chapter one, you ever going to finish it???????????
well i thought it was pretty good story leaves alot to the imagination. which sometimes is the best kinda story
@ digdaddyrich
Flash scene this is. That was the point.
@ previous Anonymous
If it's poorly written, then it wouldn't make a good piece if it was longer either. If this is the case, good thing I stopped when I did! As for the story, indeed, there is almost none, because it is fetish pornography.
This is nothing. There is no story. Poorly written. It could have been a good story taken further.
Or just part of a story.
There surely is more to tell than just this little part.
It IS a scene. It's not a part of a story - there is nothing to tell. That's how it starts and ends, and I like to leave out the commonplace.
I mean, I know what happened to her, but her son doesn't and never will.
I can't help but feel that this isn't a story, you have set the scene now what happens?