See the Light

Aargh. I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do less than spend my lunchtime with Tommy. He's so dim-witted it defies belief. Oh well I suppose I'm just jealous.

"I'd love to come thanks Rach," I put on my best smile.

That's it Claire. You're a good girl remember.

"Great," said Rachel "We'll be getting there around one."

"Where are we going?"

"Oh nowhere special, only up the road to The Greyhound. Apparently they do some decent grub up there for lunch now."

The Greyhound! But that's where we met! No, it's far too much to ask that he would be there again, no one would be that lucky. Still at least a girl can dream.

"Is that ok, Claire?"

Shit I must have zoned out again.

"Sounds perfect."

***

Needless to say I didn't do much marking for the rest of the morning. My mind was now awash with the fantastical idea of remaking my acquaintance with Jeff, before he whisked me away to some far flung land where we would spend the rest of our lives together.

A girl can dream right?

How different my fantasy would be from the reality of the situation. As the three of us entered the pub, I craned my neck, hunting the bar area then the tables for the faintest glimmer of that short ponytail or those broad shoulders.

Dammit. I shouldn't have let myself get carried away like that.

"I'm really glad you came with us today Claire," said Rachel as we took our seats round a table and began to scan the menu. "I've been worried lately. We seem to be moving further apart."

I smiled back at Rachel. I knew she was a good friend even if she had been pissing me off lately.

"I know," I said calmly. "I guess we've both been pretty busy with work lately, and we've had other things on our mind," I glanced across at Tommy.

"Yea I know," she barely seemed to be listening to what I was saying. "Anyway listen, I've been thinking. Why don't we play a little game to get a bit of spark going between us?"

I stared at her dumbfounded. "What did you have in mind?"

"I wasn't sure; I was thinking something like truth or dare. But without the truth part cos I've always found that a bit boring."

"You mean like the children's game?" I frowned at her.

"A little," she replied, "but I was thinking perhaps we'd make it a bit raunchier. To really take us out of our comfort zones."

"Sure, sounds interesting."

Whatever. Rachel was always coming up with these crazy schemes that never came to fruition.

"Ok great. I was thinking we'd take turns to make up a dare but then we'd both have to do it. Then if either of us chickens out we'd have to do a forfeit that the winner decides."

"Sounds good."

"Ok," chirped Tommy. For some reason I found his easy-going cockney accent really annoying. "How about I flip a coin to decide who gets to make up a dare first. No cheating that way!"

There was a murmur of approval as he pulled a coin from his wallet.

"Your call Claire," he said as he flipped it into the air with his thumb.

"Heads."

The coin landed on the table with a crash, turning a few heads as it disturbed the tranquil atmosphere for a moment.

"Looks like it's tails," Tommy said picking the coin up. "You can choose first babe." We both turned to Rachel.

She looked to the ceiling for a second, consumed in thought. "I think - and remember we both have to do this - I think we will both go into school without underwear on Monday."

What?

Rachel seemed to take the look of shock on my face as acceptance.

"Great!" she exclaimed. "Don't worry, I think this'll be a lot of fun once we get going."

"You can always call it off now if you want to," Tommy said grinning.

Fuck off Tommy you smug git. I think I'd do anything to rub that smile off your face.

"No it's fine," I said calmly. "It should be fun."

Well at least I wasn't being a good girl for once.

The rest of our meal passed without incident. I did my best to ignore Tommy's hilariously unfunny jibes and soon we were finishing up our drinks and preparing to leave.

I was just putting on my coat when over Rachel's shoulder I could have sworn I saw someone in my peripheral vision.

No it can't be.

I looked closer.

It was.

I couldn't believe it. The tall, broad shoulders, the brown ponytail, the well tailored goatee.

It was him alright.

"I'll catch up with you guys later," I said hastily as Rachel and Tommy walked towards the door. "I think I've just seen an old friend I want to say hi to."

The pair of them bade me goodbye before I approached him as he took a seat at the bar.

"Do you ever feel you've had déjà vu?" he said smiling at me.

I smiled back at him, "Nice to see you again."

"Likewise, I could never forget a smile as pretty as that. It's Claire isn't it?"

I felt my heart thumping against my chest as I nodded in reply.

He remembered my name!

"That's right," I replied. "About last night, I think there may have been some misunderstanding."

"Not at all dear girl. A gentleman does not intrude where it is not welcome. I could see you already had company and rightfully stepped aside."

As I stared into his hazel eyes I noticed a few more lines than I had the previous night. I guess he must have been a few years older than me, maybe in his mid to late thirties.

"So anyway what brings you here at this hour?" he continued. "If one sees a young lady frequenting a place like this two days on the trot, they might fear she was on her way to ruin!"

He spoke to me as if he was a long lost uncle. But for some reason I loved it.

"Oh no it's nothing like that," I giggled. "I've just been here for a bite to eat with friends."

"Well perhaps you like to join me for a drink now?"

I could hardly spit the words out fast enough, "That would be lovely."

"Great let's see. You were drinking red wine last night, I believe?"

Oh my god. He remembers everything about me!

"You should broaden your horizons a little, try this for size."

He ordered me a glass of white wine, from some vineyard in a South American town I'd never heard of. It turned out Jeff was a wine trader, and was helping the landlord convert the place into a trendy wine bar as a personal favour.

"So anyway, Claire," he said matter-of-factly sipping his own glass of wine, "I notice there's no ring on your finger. I can't believe someone as charming as you hasn't had the opportunity to make a young man very lucky."

I felt my knee begin to tremble and hoped he didn't notice.

Was I really about to do this?

"I.. err.. I'm between relationships right now," I lied through my teeth.

"That's interesting," he said inquisitively. "I can't imagine a young lady like you stays between relationships for very long."

If he'd read my lie like a book he certainly wasn't showing it.

"And the young gentleman you were with yesterday, he was just an acquaintance I take it?"

I felt my temple throbbing. "That's right."

Shit. Did I really just say that?

"Interesting, very interesting indeed." He circled the top of his wine glass with a single finger as if consumed in thought.

"And yourself?" I gasped trying to steer the conversation away from my own relationship status.

"Like you dear girl, I am, as you put it so curtly, between relationships."

I wasn't sure whether this was what I wanted to hear or not. I felt as if I was digging myself into a hole I couldn't possibly climb out of.

"Well what kind of things do you look for in women?" I wasn't sure what was stupider, the thought of me trying to get in his pants or the thought of me trying to play the role of relationship coach.

"You see that is arguably my biggest problem, Claire." He looked at me intently, "I'm very particular about the type of women I like to date."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll be straight with you, Claire. I'm interested in a certain lifestyle, a very particular lifestyle."

I waited with baited breath.

"I'm interested in the BDSM lifestyle, Claire."

BDSM. The term rang a few bells but I couldn't place exactly where I'd heard it before.

"I don't know what that is."

"That neither shocks nor surprises me dear, for it is not a subject that is widely discussed outside of those who hold such interests."

"Can you explain it to me?"

A broad smile brimmed from Jeff's face. "My dear if I was to have the pleasure of your company for twelve months I fear would not be able to explain it you. Understanding it really is a journey of self discovery."

He grinned at the perplexed look on my face.

"Meaning you really have to research it for yourself, for the lifestyle is such a broad canvas. All I would do is blight your mind with my own pre conceptions."

***

I was so glad I'd got Jeff's phone number, even if he had been a little vague about himself. I had no idea what that BDSM stuff was about but I decided to leave looking it up for another time. Until then Jeff would remain the fantasy that consumed my thoughts. There was something about the charisma with which he spoke, the sparkle and energy in his eyes that drew me towards him.

But what about Aaron?

As I got into bed and pulled the covers over me I knew in my heart of hearts that I shouldn't have lied about Aaron. Although he had annoyed me, he was still my boyfriend and I knew I'd feel guilty about it in the morning.

Sometimes it was nice to be a naughty girl though.

My hand slipped under my pyjama bottoms and began to caress my clit.

And good girls certainly don't touch themselves thinking about someone other than their boyfriend.

I knew it was wrong but it felt so right. I increased the speed of my finger work until eventually I let out a soft whimper as I rubbed my pussy.

I love being a naughty girl.

I reached under my pyjama top and grabbed hold of my breast, pinching its nipple between my thumb and forefinger as I began to dab one finger into my box. I'd barely ever played with myself before but I just seemed to know how to push my own buttons. Having an orgasm with Aaron inside me always felt like such a chore, like I had to work for it but this seemed so effortless. I felt as if I could keep going all night.

This is how sex is supposed to feel. This is how Jeff would make me feel.

My mind was consumed with thoughts of Jeff as I plundered my pussy with my finger. I closed my eyes and imagined him fucking me each and every way.

Missionary, doggy, my legs wrapped around him. Oh god here it comes!

I let out an almighty moan as my orgasm erupted inside me. The feeling crept up on me so much quicker than it usually did and took my by complete surprise.

Fucking hell I needed that.

As I rolled over and drifted off to sleep, I now knew who I really wanted.

3.

I tossed and turned all night, never getting more than a few minutes sleep at a time. One half of my brain was consumed with thoughts of Jeff while the other half kept telling me how wrong my sordid ideas were.

Eventually I gave up. I rolled over and put on my glasses on to check the time. It was five o'clock., still an hour before I had to get up and get ready for work.

What was it Jeff had said again? BDSM?

I sat up and pulled my laptop from the bedside cabinet. I had an hour to kill, I may as well make the most of it. I flipped the lid open before opening up the internet. I felt my fingers tremble a little as I carefully entered those four letters, B...D...S...M.

Well here goes nothing.

I clicked search. Finally it was spelled out for me.

Bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism? What the fuck?

I read on.

BDSM is a collective term used to describe many erotic practises that involve domination and submission. This could include different forms of bondage, role playing and numerous other sub cultures where there is a form of power exchange.

Wow. Looks like Jeff is into some seriously kinky shit.

As I read more of the article I realised that BDSM encompassed a lot of things that weren't that unfamiliar. Although I'd never tried it, the idea of using handcuffs or blindfolds was something I'd discussed with friends and colleagues before, with tongue firmly in cheek of course.

It quickly became apparent what Jeff had meant last night. The more I read, I realised just how huge BDSM was, incorporating some kinks and fetishes that had never crossed my mind.

Pet play? Really?

It seemed that the majority of people within the lifestyle either labelled themselves as dominant or submissive, always taking that role, while others preferred to switch between the two. My thoughts quickly turned to Jeff.

I bet he would be dominant. There's no way someone as strong as Jeff would submit to anyone.

I also read how the length of time people stayed in-character varied. Many preferred to keep play limited to "sessions" while others liked to "live the lifestyle".

How is that even possible?

However as I continued to jump from link to link, one thing in particular continued to catch my eye. Picture after picture of women, in various forms of undress, jumped out the screen at me. They were all tied up in different ways. Some merely had their hands cuffed in front of them, while others were in all sorts of predicaments, their limbs restrained at every possible angle.

Shit how did my hand get down there!?

I plucked my hand out of my pyjama bottoms; I had barely even noticed my fingers sliding over my clit. The pictures had encapsulated my thoughts.

Did that mean I was submissive then?

I wasn't sure about that yet. But what I was sure of was that the pictures on my screen were an incredible turn on.

I allowed my fingers to wriggle back under my bottoms.

RING RING RING

I looked round and saw my alarm going off.

Shit was that the time?

I withdrew my fingers as quickly as they had gone in. I knew it was going to be a long day without touching myself.

***

I hadn't forgotten. Today was no panties day according to Rachel and I was determined to hold up my side of the bargain; as much to get back at Tommy for teasing me as anything.

Even with winter approaching I liked to wear dresses to school. There was no point hiding my curves and I had a few dresses that showed them off really well. Even with the dare I was resolute that wouldn't change. I was sure Rachel was doing this to ruffle my feathers so I was adamant I wouldn't budge an inch.

Still, I couldn't say I wasn't a little nervous as I sat at the kitchen table finishing my breakfast. The blue dress I had chosen was smart and covered both my shoulders, while it fell to just above my knee. However I was most concerned about the stockings.

Yes the stockings. I had always preferred stockings over tights because they made me feel so much sexier. Today though they did seem more of a gamble.

It'll be fine. Just act normal and no one will notice.

"Right then, I hope you remember what day it is!" Rachel came bustling into the kitchen. She was dressed similarly to myself, her white blouse had one more button open than I would have deemed acceptable to work at a school but her pencil skirt fell to around her knee.

"Of course," I replied calmly.

"Well let's check up on you then," she said stuffing a piece of toast into her mouth.

"What?"

"I want to see you're not cheating before we go!"

"Fine then."

I couldn't believe how paranoid she was being. Even so I got up and turned round, in an attempt to protect some of my modesty, before lifting up the hem of my dress.

"There happy?" the tone of voice did not hide my exasperation.

"Let me check your bag too."

"Are you mad?"

Before I could stop her she was rummaging through my handbag, picking and prodding at various things before she was satisfied.

"Ok you're clean," she said reluctantly.

"And what about you?"

She pulled the top of her skirt forward just enough for me to see down the front. I could barely see any hair down there let alone any panties.

"Ok that's fine," I said.

***

I couldn't pretend it wasn't a tense ride to school. Rachel's idea to bring us closer together only seemed to be adding strain to our fractured relationship.

Nevertheless, once we arrived everything seemed to return to normal. Rachel became her light-hearted friendly self again and I was able to get on with my morning as usual. Except of course I was wearing no panties.

I must admit most of the time I didn't really notice. Sure there was a rush of cold air between my thighs that I hadn't felt before but apart from that it wasn't really any different. In fact it was quite a rush to be having a normal conversation with someone and know you weren't wearing any underwear, I thought that perhaps I should be doing it more often.

Seems you're not such a good girl after all.

As hard as I tried though, I couldn't keep thoughts of what I'd read that morning from my head.

Was Jeff really a dominant? Would he really want to tie me up?

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

I'm attracted to Jeff because he's a dominant and I'm a submissive.

However those thoughts were quickly extinguished when I bumped into Rachel at lunchtime.

"Get in here," she hissed at me, pushing me into the staff toilet. "Now here." She forced me to follow her into one of the cubicles. "This proves I'm not cheating." She lifted up her skirt and flashed me her pussy. "Now prove to me you're not either."

I wanted to tell her that I thought this whole situation was ridiculous. Instead though I complied, not turning round this time as I lifted up the front of my dress.

"Jeez Claire, do you ever shave?" She smiled at me as I pulled down my dress, knowing how crimson she had made my face go. She was right; I had never shaved, although I always kept myself trimmed to within my bikini line.

***

The end of the school day couldn't come quick enough. As soon as I was through the front door I headed straight to my room and slammed the door closed.

I had to find out more.

My laptop couldn't fire up quickly enough. I drummed my fingers on it as I waited but soon I was exploring the wonderful world of BDSM again. I could hardly contain myself; my eagerness to learn was unbridled as I clicked from link to link, hoovering up information as I went.

One thing that fascinated me more than anything else though was the pictures. There were hundreds of them. Women bound, gagged, being teased and tormented, sometimes there was even two women at a time. It was like entering a whole new world, one where I could be free of the constraints and moralities that everyday life threw at me.

A world where I could be myself.

The more I gawped at the pictures the more turned on I became. The sheer number of different props and toys I saw in the pictures captivated me. From spreader bars to collars, from cages to floggers, they all intrigued me in equal measure and I began to picture myself in the predicaments that the girls in the pictures found themselves in.

I wonder if Jeff has any of this stuff. I bet he would love to tie me to his bed.

It was difficult to keep my fingers away from my pussy as I looked at the pictures of girls being spanked or flogged. There was something strangely erotic about being spanked. Although it seemed like a punishment I could imagine it being quite stimulating if the blows were of the right intensity. Of course my mind instantly became filled with images of myself being bent over Jeff's lap for a little correction.

***

It was Saturday and Aaron was back from his work trip. He'd phoned me during the week to apologize about how he'd acted the last time we were together and now he'd invited himself around to make things right.