Spoiled Princess Hates Camping Ch. 01

Kate laughed and Davo reached up onto the porch to shake hands. "My name's David, but everyone calls me Davo. You're right, I am from Australia. Melbourne Victoria, to be exact."

"I'm Kate, I'm from Pennsylvania," said Kate, returning Davo's handshake. "Nice to meet you, Davo."

"So, what's a top sheila from Pennsylvania doing at a camping ground in New Jersey?" asked Davo.

"I'm camping with my parents, brothers and cousin," said Kate. "I'm just waiting for my cousin, she's in the bathroom." Almost on cue, the sound of Madison unwinding toilet paper was heard by the trio.

"Are you from Philadelphia?" asked Davo.

Kate shook her head. "No, we're from a town in the country. Although I'm starting college in Philadelphia in the fall."

"A country girl," observed Davo. "You'll get along with my mate Travis here. He's from the country too."

Travis and Kate shook hands. "Nice to meet you, Kate," he said.

Kate paused. Travis had an accent that was similar to Davo, but not quite the same. The speech pattern suggested his origins lay elsewhere. Possibly he was English, although he didn't have any English accent she had heard before. Was he Irish? South African maybe?

"I'm pleased to meet you, Travis," said Kate. "Are you from Melbourne, like Travis?"

"I am, but I'm originally from New Zealand," said Travis. "From a town between Christchurch and Dunedin, on the South Island."

"Now Travis, the judge said you need to make full disclosure when you meet new people," said Davo. He turned to Kate. "Travis got ordered out of New Zealand. The sheep got together and put a petition to parliament for Travis to get deported, the goats backed them up, and the judge agreed with them. So Travis was expelled from New Zealand, and came to Australia."

Davo laughed and Travis groaned. "He's lying, these stories aren't even funny," said Travis.

Davo ignored his friend's protests and continued. "Unfortunately, there's even more sheep in Australia than in New Zealand so there were the same problems. Then Travis vanished completely and he was found a week later in country New South Wales, bowing down to a statue of a sheep. After that, I was appointed Travis's case worker. This trip to America is part of his rehabilitation to make sure he can behave himself around farms."

Kate laughed and Travis went red. "It's not true," he assured Kate. "Davo and I got green cards, and we're on a six month working holiday in America. He's not my case worker, I wasn't kicked out of New Zealand or anything like that. My family moved to Australia when I was about fourteen."

In the toilet cubicle, Madison could hear the male voices talking to Kate, and she wondered what was going on outside. She finished pooing, then she unwound toilet paper from the roll four times in succession to wipe herself. Madison stood up, pulled up and adjusted her panties around her box and her buttocks, then she did the same with her shorts. She pressed the button on the cistern and flushed the toilet, the sound of the plumbing loud. Madison could feel her anus was itchy from all the poor-quality toilet paper she had used, and used her index finger to scratch her bottom through her shorts and panties, before turning around to open the door, keen to get out of the smelly toilet cubicle.

The trio on the porch had heard Madison flush, and Davo and Travis were expecting the door to open and reveal a girl who was something like Kate; a pretty, nice-natured, well-endowed brunette. Their jaws nearly dropped to the ground when the girl who emerged was a slim blonde with shapely breasts and legs, very pretty but with the most miserable expression.

"Hi," said Davo and Travis to the newcomer. Madison fixed Davo and Travis with a haughty expression and without a word, walked to the sink and began to wash her hands, pointedly ignoring the two young men.

"Is your cousin a deaf mute?" Davo asked Kate in response to Madison's rudeness.

Before Kate could reply, Madison glared at Davo. "Excuse me?" she demanded.

"Oh, you can speak," laughed Davo. "I thought there was something wrong with you, the way you ignored us like that. We thought country girls from Pennsylvania had good manners."

Madison's face went red with annoyance. "I am not from the country, and I am not from Pennsylvania. I am from Manhattan, thank you very much."

Kate laughed. "Davo, Travis, I'd like you to meet Madison, my cousin. Madison, Davo is from Australia, and Travis from New Zealand, and they're on a working holiday."

"Charmed to meet you, Miss Madison," said Davo, bowing down to her and putting on an accent of an American gentleman from the South.

"Nice to meet you, Madison," said Travis, he and Davo both extending their hands to Madison, a gesture the girl ignored. Travis decided to continue being polite to Madison. "So, it must be good to get out of the city and go camping in the fresh air?"

Madison shot Travis a look to let him know he had said exactly the wrong thing. "I do not like camping. I hate it here, and I wish I was back home in Mom and Daddy's apartment where I belong."

"Now I'd say that was being rude to your relatives' hospitality," said Davo. He could see Madison was getting angrier and angrier, but this was all part of his grand plan. "You're not a happy camper, then?" Again more glaring from Madison. "Fresh air is good for you," Davo continued. "You should come to Australia or New Zealand. Lots of fresh air down there."

Madison knew little about these two faraway countries in the Southern Hemisphere. Geography wasn't her strong subject at school, and she thought of both Australia and New Zealand as mostly consisting of farms, full of dangerous, poisonous and strange animals and rude, uncouth, lower-class, poorly educated, beer-drinking, sports-loving inhabitants, much like this young man who was annoying her right now.

"I would never want to visit Australia or New Zealand," scoffed Madison. "Why would I want to go to a place full of farms and weird animals?"

"We actually have cities in Australia and New Zealand," said Davo. "Although, you're right, they are full of animals. In Melbourne, kangaroos and emus wander the city, koalas are up every tree, you need to watch your step to avoid the snakes and you have to keep back from the Yarra River because of the crocodiles. It's just the same in Sydney; the harbor is full of crocs waiting to get you. In New Zealand, they mainly have sheep, but the office workers in Aukland, Wellington and Christchurch get to feed the kiwi birds at lunchtime."

Kate, who had done well at Geography and knew a reasonable amount about Australia, and Travis covered their mouths to hide their amusement that Madison seemed to have swallowed Davo's tall story hook, line and sinker.

"Those koala bears are weird," said Madison, who had always puzzled over how people thought they were cute.

Davo laughed hysterically. "Madison makes her first mistake with Australian animals," he crowed. "Koalas aren't bears, they're marsupials, princess. We don't have native animals wandering any Australian or New Zealand city, snakes slithering everywhere and there are no crocodiles in the Yarra River or Sydney Harbor. There's sharks in Sydney, but no crocodiles."

Madison went red in anger and embarrassment at having been duped, and turning defense into attack, snapped, "So your name is Davo? What sort of a stupid name is Davo?"

"My name's actually David, but people call me Davo. You can call me David if you prefer, I don't mind. Just don't call me late for my tea, okay. Which reminds me, what are you making for me tonight? I want my hot dinner and a cold beer on the table at six exactly thanks darling."

Madison's slim figure trembled with rage at this, staring furiously at the laughing Davo, and at Kate and Travis, who were both unable to keep themselves from laughing.

"I love Australian animals," Kate volunteered. "They're so cute. I'd love to visit Australia one day."

Madison glared at her cousin. Of course Kate thought Australian animals were cute. Her country cousin thought all animals were cute. On the way up in the van, Kate had spoken at length how the dogs and cats would be looked after by her grandparents who lived across the street, and how much she would miss the pets when she went to college. Madison cared little about her cousin's love of animals.

"We'd love for you to visit us in the Land Down Under, Kate," said Davo. "How about your cousin? Would Madison like to come with you, and charm Australia with her friendliness and kind, generous, warm nature?"

Kate laughed, and Madison again glared at her. "Kate, let's go back," she urged.

"What's the rush, we're having such a good time?" asked Davo. "Let's talk about something girls like. What star signs are you?"

"Scorpio," said Madison.

"Oh, you've got a sting in your tail, better not piss you off," said Davo, to which Madison sighed at the young Australian's continuous jokes directed at her. She wished he and his stupid friend had stayed on the other side of the world. This camping trip was difficult enough for her as it was without them.

"I'm a Capricorn," said Kate.

"I think you and Travis are going to get along really well," said Davo. "Aeries is his favorite star sign, as you can imagine, but he likes Capricorns too. The next best thing. Did you know that in New Zealand, Aeries people are a privileged, elite ruling class?"

"No more sheep and goat jokes, please," pleaded Travis. "As it happens, I am actually an Aeries..."

"That fits," sniggered Davo.

"And Davo is a Taurus, which is very apt because he's a bullshit artist," said Travis.

Kate giggled, but Madison's response was one of stony silence.

"Well, that was just plain rude, young man," said Davo to Travis, impersonating an old-fashioned school ma'am, causing amusement to Kate, but again failing with Madison.

"Another thing that interests me about Australia is that football game you play," said Kate. "You know, with the four goalposts? I've seen it on the television. It looks really good."

"That's Australian Rules Football," said Davo. "I play that. I even managed to convert Travis, but because he's from Kiwi-land, he's used to Rugby Union, and keeps throwing the ball, and tackling below the knees. I've told him what to do nice and slow, given him pictures to make it easy but he doesn't study them. Which reminds me girls, when you speak to Travis, talk slowly, explain carefully and use simple words he can understand."

"Oh shut up, Davo," laughed Travis.

Davo grinned and pointed at Travis. "Another thing I nearly forgot is that you may notice how Travis pronounces certain words differently from normal people, so I'd better run you through them. When Travis says 'fush' he means fish. When he says 'pug', he's not talking about a small dog, he's talking about a pig. When he says 'sex' don't slap him, call the cops and have him charged with sexual harassment, he's talking about the number six. If you're not sure what Travis says, just ask me and I'll interpret for you. Australians and South Africans are the only others who can understand New Zealanders, and can translate for people from other parts of the planet."

Kate again laughed, and Travis grinned and shook his head while blushing and giving Davo a good-natured shove. Madison maintained a stuck-up, stony silence. Davo then said, "Kate, can you please explain to me how American football works? I've watched it on TV, but can't work out the rules at all."

"You might need to go for college for three years," said Kate. "I love football, but you're right, the rules are confusing. That's why I like playing field hockey, you hit the ball forward with your stick to score goals. Nice and easy."

"So are you playing hockey at college?" asked Travis.

Kate nodded. "Yes, I'm really looking forward to it."

"Are you starting college in September too?" Davo asked Madison.

Madison couldn't resist the opportunity to act snobby and put down her cousin. "Of course, but I'm going to a proper college in New York. I'm not going to the same college as she is."

"You were saying you had two brothers?" said Davo to Kate.

"That's right, John's my older brother, and Dylan is my twin brother," said Kate.

"Why don't we all have a game of football?' suggested Davo. "You can show us Gridiron, I can show you Australian Rules, and Travis can show us Rugby Union."

"That sounds like fun," said Kate. "I'd love to do it."

"I don't think your cousin is so keen," said Davo, indicating Madison's look of distaste. "What's the matter, don't you like football?"

"Football is stupid," said Madison.

Davo put on a look of puzzlement. "How can football be stupid? It's a term for six different sports played around the world; Soccer, Rugby League, Rugby Union, Gridiron, Australian Rules and Gaelic Football. You can say that a person or animal is stupid because of their actions, or a thought process is stupid, but you can't say that football is stupid, because it has no qualities that could make it stupid."

This put-down was delivered with a charming smile, and Kate could see Madison was getting angrier and angrier. Davo said, "I guess you won't be playing, then, you might break a nail. Do you have any brothers or sisters here with you who might be interested in playing?"

Madison sighed in impatience. "No."

"No, you don't have any brothers or sisters, or no they wouldn't be interested in playing?" Davo continued.

"No, I don't have any brothers and sisters, I'm an only child," said Madison.

"I had a feeling you might be," said Davo.

"What is that supposed to mean?" snapped Madison.

Before Davo could respond, an unpleasant odor like rotting cabbages entered Kate's nostrils. It was an absolutely still day, and Madison's toilet smell had slowly drifted out of the stall she had vacated, failing to dissipate due to the lack of any breeze. Kate discretely put her fingers below her nose and breathed through her mouth, and she could see Travis do the same thing, both of them too polite to say anything. Davo, however, was not so discrete.

"Oh my God!" he shouted. He turned to Madison and pointed at the toilet cubicle. "What happened in there? Did the toilet back up or something?"

Madison blushed bright red. "No," she snapped defensively.

Davo laughed. "So, that was you on your own then? What have you been eating?"

Madison became even angrier and more embarrassed. "It's none of your business."

"You're right there, sweetheart, it wasn't my business. It was your business." Davo laughed and turned to Kate, who along with Travis was unable to keep from laughing as well. Madison, on the other hand, was going redder still as the smell continued to drift out from the toilet that she had used, and she looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.

"Good luck sharing a tent with her tonight," said Davo to Kate, before he turned back to Madison. "Whatever you did in there, that's not normal. You need to see a doctor fast, and get referral to a gastro-intestinal specialist." He again addressed Kate. "Kate, make sure Madison sees a doctor as a matter of urgency. If you don't and your cousin dies of stomach cancer or some other digestive disorder, you'll feel bad about not listening to me now. In the meantime, watch what she eats."

With the unpleasant smell of Madison's poo still in the air, Davo said, "Well, I don't want to hang around here anymore, that's for sure. It's been lovely meeting you, and I'm sure we'll see each other a lot more over the next few days."

"See you later, Kate," said Travis, as he turned to walk with Davo up the path to the male toilets.

"See you both later," called Kate. She could see Madison, red-faced and sulking and on the walk back to the campsite, she had to prevent herself from laughing yet again.

Madison fumed at the indignity she had suffered, that awful young Australian insulting her, making her look stupid and then having the audacity to laugh at her because her poo was smelly, something she couldn't help. She was annoyed at Kate and Travis too for laughing at her, and she just wanted to go home. Madison fantasized that her Daddy would turn up, tell her this had all been a terrible mistake, and drive her away back to where she belonged. Madison also thought about Davo, and she sulked with indignation. Yet when his image appeared in her mind's eye, she couldn't explain that deep inside her panties she felt a tingle between her legs, with her vagina moistening slightly.

Next to her, Kate also thought about the two young men. She liked Davo and his sense of humor, especially the way he brought her stuck up spoiled cousin back to Earth, but while he was great looking Kate thought Travis was better. Nice looking, polite and not so overbearing, Kate definitely wanted to see more of him. Like with Madison, Kate felt her clitoris respond, and a dampness in her vulva.

****

In the mens' bathroom, which had blue doors as opposed to the yellow doors of the ladies', Davo and Travis stood at the urinal. This was in a long room, the toilets, fewer in number than the ladies, were located a bit further away, the showers adjacent to this.

Davo shook himself, tucked his dick back into his underpants and zipped up his shorts. "So, Kate's all yours," he said to Travis.

"Sorry?" asked Travis, as he also shook himself, returned his penis to his underpants and adjusted his shorts.

"You're welcome," said Davo. "You get to screw Kate, while I fuck Madison."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Travis. "We don't know if Kate is even single, nor Madison, and even if Madison doesn't have a boyfriend, she still hates you."

"How so?" asked Davo.

"Well, making her appear stupid, picking her up on her bad manners, and teasing her about her stinking out the toilet didn't seem to go down well with her," said Travis. "I can't think why."

"So you'd prefer to fuck Madison?" asked Davo. "That's fine, you go for it. I'll have Kate. I can't wait to see Kate's big tits when I get her shirt and bra off, her big butt and her pussy when she pulls down those cute patched jeans and her knickers, and have her long legs wrapped around me."

"I don't want to fuck Madison, that's for sure," said Travis. Although he had to admit Madison was beautiful, she had a personality he found awful, and felt sorry for Kate having to put up with the little bitch. "She seems like an absolute spoiled brat, but for some reason you seem to like spoiled chicks. Like Poppy, that posh English girl you deflowered while she was on holidays in Melbourne. Then there was Courtney, that bitch of a gymnast you fucked on the Gold Coast and then Bronte, another rich bitch you screwed in the disabled toilets when on the river cruise. There's been at least four more like them, but I don't remember their names."

"Yeah, spoiled chicks are great to fuck," said Davo. "Do you know why?"

"Oh please tell me," said Travis sarcastically.

"Because they always get what they want, they're never satisfied," said Davo. "It takes two people to fuck, they can't get off as much as they want to if they just take their knickers off and lay on their backs with their legs open. They go wild and suck and fuck twice as hard, and they always want more. The secret is to let them know that you're not going to treat them like a princess, like they have been their whole lives. They seem to get off on blokes who piss them off, and try to get you to treat them the way they like by putting out. That's why I did it with Madison, to get her nice and ready." Davo grinned at his reflections of the girls Travis had mentioned. "Did I ever tell you about Poppy's fanny? It was shaped like a triangle. I've never seen a pussy like that before or since."

"Thanks for the details," said Travis. "I can't tell you how much I wanted to know that about some British tourist's fanny."