The Arrangement

"Two days."

"What happened?"

"A misunderstanding. And I can't talk about it." Not after signing the nondisclosure agreement she'd signed with the Feds.

"What do you mean you can't talk about it? I need to know what happened so I can help her."

Kaden sighed, "you'll have to help her without that."

Pamela stared at her for a moment before turning back to the broken woman in the bed.

"She's needs to be in a hospital."

"No."

Pamela tossed her a hostile look, "why the fuck not?"

Kaden raised a brow? The therapist had a temper. "It's not safe." Which was code language for the fact that Kaden wasn't letting her out of her fucking sight any time in the near future. Not so someone else could snatch her.

Pamela started toward the bed, turning to take in Kaden leaning against the door.

"Go away, Kaden. I need to speak with her alone."

*

They were in there for hours, two, maybe three. And she was nursing yet another whiskey when the bedroom door finally opened. The heavyset, pissed off woman stepped out of the room first...followed by Isa who was up, standing, and dressed to...leave?

"What the fuck?" Kaden bit out.

"I can't treat her here Kaden. I need to take her some place safe."

"And where the fuck would that be Doc? That shit I can't talk about it? It's all about her not being safe."

Pamela shook her head, "there's a clinic. It's very private, very exclusive. Top security. Famous and rich people go there. She'll be safe."

"No—"

"I can't treat her here!"

Kaden froze, stunned the therapist had yelled at her. That meant she had to be worried as shit. And Isa. She was just standing behind the woman, shrunken, silent...Kaden closed her eyes for a moment, running tense fingers through her hair.

"Where?"

"Connecticut."

"I'll send a man with you."

"No Kaden. Just...no. You called me. You have to let me do this. You have to—"

Pamela shook her head and Kaden watched as tears filled her eyes.

"They cut off her finger. They gang raped her...God. Just...please. I need to...please let me treat her."

A therapist at a loss for words? Not a good sign. Kaden stared at them both for a moment...and then simply nodded. Moments later, the thick door of the penthouse closed behind them.

***

***

4 months later

***

***

It had taken her weeks...weeks...to coax even a single word out of me. She said it was normal... rational... she said I'd "retreated." Just...gone. Retreated to some place safe inside...and I was terrified to come back. She kept using the words normal...and rational. Normal. And rational.

There was nothing normal or rational about what had happened to me.

When I allowed myself to remember, finally...I remember Mason approaching me on the street after a session with Pamela. Same shit, different day. Pete had stepped in front of me...but there was something wrong. Mason...the look on his face...

"Iz, I fucked up."

I stepped to Pete's side, "what are you talking about?" I asked, tired of all his bullshit and yet...

"Where's Knight? You need to call her. Get her here."

Now I was starting to worry. He wanted me to be with Kaden? What the hell?

"Mason, what did you—"

There was a loud pop...I recognized it as a gun shot now. And suddenly there was wet... red... wetness and...bloodied pieces all over my face... my blouse...

Shocked, I turned to Pete, not sure what was happening... Another loud pop...Pete fell to the ground... a huge chunk of his head missing.

I think that's when it started...the shut down. My absolute and utter "retreat." Because whatever this was? It wasn't good. And it was going to be much worse than anything I'd been through before.

They were speaking Spanish. Grabbed my hair, forced me into a back seat...I don't know how long we drove...I was sandwiched between two of them and they spoke so quickly, I couldn't follow. I know a little Spanish, but...I didn't know many of the words...I looked them up later. Warehouse. Shipment. Leverage. Those were the ones I could remember.

When we arrived wherever they were taking me, it was dark. They dragged me from the car by my hair, slipped something over my head so I couldn't see...dragged me, my eyes tearing as I squeaked from the pain, trying not to make any noise, to cooperate, to be invisible. They tossed me into a room. It was cold... empty...no windows. One door. I sat on the floor and waited.

I have no idea how long I waited. Then one of them came for me, barking orders at me in Spanish that I didn't understand. I hurried to walk in front of him. He grabbed my hair again when I turned the wrong way, dragging me into a room where a number of men sat, all speaking Spanish. One was on the phone. He said something about Korea...and then he was screaming at the phone...seconds later he tossed the phone aside and rush toward me, grabbed my hand, placed something cold and metal against my pinky...

I...I...the pain. Oh my God...the pain. It was...I...it lasted only a few moments... I went numb. Then I passed out.

I only remembered snippets after that...a dirty tee shirt wrapped around my hand...being tossed back into that cold, empty room...then they came...ignoring my cries, my pleas...one after another...sometimes two and three at a time...I was tossed into a cold shower and told to wash...they poured liquor over my hand, making me pass out again from the pain and shock...and when I woke, they were back...so many of them...so many...

I have no idea how long they kept me. Pamela said Kaden couldn't talk about it. It'd felt like years, but it couldn't have been...right? Right. A few days. That was probably all. A few days that...destroyed me. There was nothing left when those men came to rescue me. When I heard the gun shots, the frantic sounds of men trying to flee...I didn't move. I lay on that bare floor, naked, covered in their fluids, their smell... torn apart from the inside out...frozen. Gone.

Oh, sorry, the word was 'retreated.'

It was 'normal'...it was 'rational.'

Even when I heard her voice, when I felt her arms around me...nothing. I couldn't force myself back.

She asked the same doctor that had treated me before to look at my hand...I panicked. And that's putting it politely. Scratch marks on his face and arms...was that shrill screaming me? Jesus. He'd backed off. Kaden had stayed with me, trying to coax me into eating, drinking, sleeping...

Nothing worked.

And then Pamela came and brought me here.

And now I was leaving.

I sat on the bed, two huge suitcases packed and ready to go. Kaden had sent all these things for me considering I'd left her apartment with nothing. So...she knew where I was...but she hadn't called...hadn't come to visit. I didn't blame her. I mean...really? There's only so much a person can take. I wasn't leaving here the same person I was when she met me. I was a shell of that woman. Jumping at sudden noises, afraid to sleep in a dark room, reluctant to interact with other people... I had to force myself not to retreat every day. Every moment of every day. I had to force myself to keep going...force myself to remember to breathe...to not shut down. It was taxing... grueling... and it was how I had to start each and every day.

Was I better? Considering Pamela was encouraging me to leave, one would think so. But I wasn't. I'm not sure I ever would be 'better'. I'm not even sure what that meant anymore. I could get out of bed now. I could force myself to shower, to dress, to eat...to move through the day like a normal person. When I logged into my email about two months ago, I was shocked to see so many of my clients still around...and many more asking me to take a look at their websites. Clearly Kaden had hired someone to help during my hiatus. I slowly took over...glad to have something "normal" to do. I saw the world differently now...and surely my web designs showed that...but my customers seemed to like it.

I started when someone tapped lightly on the door to my suite. The door opened a moment later and Pamela made her way inside. She smiled at me...I tried to smile back. I failed miserably.

"You're packed and ready. Good."

I nodded, standing from the bed, my apprehension clearly evident.

"I don't even know where I'm going," I told her.

She smiled gently, "you know she paid your rent and bills. Just like she hired someone to watch over your business. Just like she sent you clothes every week."

I swallowed down a retort. I didn't know anything. I guess I'd hoped. But...she hadn't called...hadn't tried to visit.

"You needed to heal, Isa," Pamela said gently.

I guess I'd said those words out loud? I also acknowledged the name she called me now. Isa. My preference. No more Izzy. Izzy was dead. Izzy had to be dead for Isa to be alive.

"And you're wrong. She came to visit you. Every day. Well, every day she was in the country. She even rented an apartment close to the clinic. And when she had to travel, she called and harassed me every day. Asking about you. Wanting to speak with you."

I looked at her, surprised. Kaden had come to see me? Had called? Every day? I hadn't known...hadn't even dared to presume...something inside of me warmed...for the first time in a long time. And I smiled...it was little less forced this time.

Pamela laughed, "if I'd known I'd get that reaction, I might have let her visit you!" She teased.

My smile brightened a bit more. Pamela nodded.

"You're going to be okay. We'll start our sessions in two days, okay? For now...don't be afraid to speak up. To tell her what you want, what you need—"

"Tell who?" I asked idiotically.

Pamela just smiled again, "I said she visited and called every day...did you really think she wouldn't be here to pick you up?"

And just like that...my smile faded. She was here? Here? Shit. I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to face her...I lifted my hand to move tendrils of my hair from my cheek and glanced at my deformed hand...they'd wanted to fit me with a prosthetic, but I had refused, not ready to deal with it yet. It was only a pinky...but who knew how important that finger on your right hand, your dominant hand, was until you had to live your life without it...

But we'd gone over that...Pamela and I. Discussed the change. Pushed me past seeing myself as deformed...as lacking. Placed the blame where it belonged. On people who had been killed or imprisoned. No plea bargains for them. No leniency for sharing information. Kaden had been certain I received that information. And I'll admit it had helped.

I shook my head, back in the moment. Realizing I was now more terrified of leaving this place...of walking through those doors...of facing her.

God, what would she think of me? I'd completely fallen apart. I'd lost it. I can't explain it. I'd been through so much, able to bounce back each time but...they'd broken me. Broken me. How would she deal with that? Would she want to? I wasn't the woman she'd had feelings for anymore. I don't know who I was. For today, I was just...Isa. That had to be enough.

"Come on. Let's go downstairs so you can get out of this place."

She said it with a smile. The "place" was no prison or shabby hotel. It was top of the line, sparing no expense. Plush furnishings and carpeting, catered meals, spas, personal trainers, private security...I could only imagine what it cost. And when she told Kaden famous people stayed here, she hadn't been lying. In fact, I'd seen a few faces I recognized...not that I was in any condition to ask for autographs. Add to that the confidentiality agreement they had us sign and it was like they weren't here at all.

Okay, I realized I was stalling. I moved to reach for the suitcases, but wasn't surprised when Pamela opened the door and asked someone who had been waiting in the corridor to come in for the bags. I watched as he easily maneuvered them...Pamela and I followed.

It only took a few minutes to reach the lobby, a place I hardly remembered since I hadn't been near it for four months. I walked past the huge, oval admitting desk and...

There she was.

Tall...solid...bronze...beautiful. She was wearing sunglasses which she removed when she spotted me...and there were those eyes. Those dark, mesmerizing eyes that had help me fall asleep most nights. That had sometimes kept me safe from the nightmares...

I stopped walking, Pamela stopping by my side...and we stared at one another from across the short distance that still separated us. And then...she smiled...and my heart hitched just a bit. I remembered that wonderful smile of hers that I liked so damn much.

I also smiled...mine was not as bright and not as bold as it might have been before, but it was a start.

She stood, slowly, and closed the gap between us.

"Hey."

I didn't lose the smile as her deep voice washed over me. "Hey."

Kaden looked over at Pamela, "you finished keeping her from me?"

Pamela smirked, "I'll only keep her from you for three hours a week from now on."

Kaden nodded...and there was something in the look she shared with the much shorter, pleasantly plump woman that I guess I wasn't privy to understanding. Then those dark eyes turned back to me.

"Ready?"

She held out a hand to me...and there was a moment. A moment of absolute and utter fear on my part. How could she protect me? How could she make sure it never happened again? How would I ever feel safe again once I left here?

But after that moment, after I remembered this was Kaden and she always came for me, I slid my hand into hers.

THE END