The Big Bag

--------------------

Amazingly, I did not have to wait long for a reply. A little box opened, received:

daddy

i know you been messed up

don't apologize

i feel bad too

its ok

you went a little faaaaarrr today though

badboy!

C

--------------------

I began trembling. She was encouraging me?

My fingers fumbling at the keys:

yes

i don't know what came over me

if i'm disturbing you let me know

please

--------------------

you not only disturb

you shake my whole being

i don't know what to think

so i'm not:)

but

yes

i will let you know

C

---------------------

I had to tell her:

sweet it's those glasses

they do something to me

you become like someone else

a fantasy

--------------------

lol

serious?

I wondered

i did give you the leg bump today

C

--------------------

you did

but i'll behave

promise

-------------------

k

not too much

you CAN touch if you want

its nice

i'll see you tonite :)

C

*****************

I read the words and something from my distant past woke in me. I blinked at it. This door opening, the windows of my mind thrown open.

The dust scattering in the sunlight:

ok

you have to let me know

---------------------

glasses

lol

i know i should not write this

but

i bet pussy tames you good

C

----------------------

I laughed, my cheeks flushed. I had to answer:

yes!

---

And in another burst of recklessness I added:

tell me about yours?

----------------------

Her response flew back:

!!

YOU

you don't beat around the bush do you?

^_^. :):):):

my pussy

mmm

is this dark little chestnut kitty that likes to be petted

when it's good she'll curl into herself

and if it's really good she'll purrrrrr like a baby tiger in play

There was a pause, and another message scrolled before me:

let me know if you want to see it sometime :)

C

----------------------

I paused. The red flag waving before me, the boundary not to be crossed.

This was escalating.

She just named it.

I wrote:

!!

That might be taking things far

-------------------

Hmmm. Ya think?

:D But then seeing is less than touching

don't you think badboy?

C

she added:

one more thing

I know you been seeing mom

Drrrr

C

------------------

I blinked at the screen, my mouth went dry

I had no idea how to respond

did she know?

I just wrote:

a little, yes

------------------

I don't think it's good

going out like that with her

good for YOU i mean

C

------------------

She did not seem to realize.

I just responded:

OK

i'll think about that

---------------------

you can come to ME

see me

go out with me

if you need anything

C

---------------------

she had no idea, did she?

I felt myself grow more aroused as I thought about this offer. I wrote:

I can do that

--------------------

Promise?

be my badboy

C

-------------------

Always

------------------

Just Promise

always is a ridiculous concept

You want to promise

promise.

You won't ALWAYS be there

at some point you'll be dead

or stuck in traffic

or in love with someone else

or whatever.

C

----------------

that's so cynical

-----------------

years of experience

Ha!

So...

Promise?

-----------------

Just then, she seemed so much older than, me.

I closed with:

OK

Promise.

i'll see you tonight

sweet

------------------------

K

it takes two to get tangled

C

****************

TEMPTATION

I kept looking over our messages. As I did, I imagined what kind of kisser she would be.

Silly I know. Her mouth became the focus of my overwhelming desire, her lips, so soft and small. She kept them shiny with lip gloss. Pink and her impish frown/grin. Her white teeth, I was imagining a tongue so delicate that it would melt into me. Would she kiss me though? God I wanted to kiss her. To know her, lean in to her as she sat down and before even thinking, kiss her as I rubbed her thighs. Which was all I had of her right now.

I set to work again, but my mind refused. Instead it wandered, to breasts. I was imagining her body, her top removed, closing my eyes and holding my temples. She was small, small breasted, small enough that she was perfectly supported without a bra. Drops clinging to her body, god those nipples. Mmmmm. Fuck, I could see them. Stiff little nipples. I could just make them out, imagining myself press my thumb into them. Like her mother years and years ago. She has such gorgeous breasts, pink little buds. Sucking on her, oh, give me your sweet nipple. Sensitive. Would you hold the back of my head as I suckle you? I wanted her, the feel of her. What does she taste like?

Taste? Her hair, so perfectly quaffed. They say you can tell girls pussy by looking at her eyebrows. Thin, trimmed, the care of the hair - the same down there. Her pussy would be dark, trimmed. Small like her mouth? Tight? Would it have the same impish grin?I imagined her lain back in the bed, holding her legs open, open and ready, wet, her pink slit opening to me. That brunette pussy. God. I got to concentrate. Aroused, her swollen lips, a little light pink hood and white clit, hard, its sticky sheen. Does she like being fucked? That was a stupid question. God; in my god damn fantasies, this pussy, God help me. I would breath on her clit, my warm breath, lick it so soft. Imagining her smell, of cinnamon and honey, cherries and roses, fuck I was hard.

I would forever do so much more to her in my dreams than I ever would or could. It was maddening. "Please," I whispered. pushing my fingers out in front of me, imagining their insertion into a delicate puss. My cock so ready. Trailing my fingers over her thighs, would she let me. I wanted her touch, to have as much of her as she would allow. Wordless, her ear buds playing music, her legs slipping wide. Her dark glasses, wordless, voiceless. I could bite her pussy lips, suck them in, hold her with my teeth, and lay her back and, oh god, to fuck her. Fuck her over and over. Push her panties aside. Hell, tear out her crotch. That kind of fucking.

**********************

HOME

I maintained a studied calm as I got home. Realizing what we had done, and what we had written. Nonetheless it would be as if we were starting over each time. I walked into the house and knew she was there, could see her big bag on the sofa.

That evening we maintained an utterly normal demeanor, getting ready for dinner, eating, but she was in a spicy mood. Nothing overt, but I could see it in her eyes. A playful flirt. They lingered, her cheeks flushed. A tingling electricity between us.

After dinner as she cleared the dishes, she wandered near to me and whispered soft, "I really do have a red silk nightie you know." An obvious reference to our chat.

I paused, looked at her from tippie-toe to the top of her brunette head. Her eyes innocent saucers, enjoying the way I looked at her, undressing her. She twirled to the sink, enjoying my eyes on her. Maybe a little bit too much I thought to myself. When dinner was finished she was putting dishes into the dishwasher. Bending, giving me a nice view of her ass in a tight pair of tights and leotards, which looked as if her body were painted. Up top she had on only a half top sweater over the leotards. I could actually see the line of her ass, she still had no panties on. I felt myself stiffening at that thought, and chastising myself for being so out of control.

At one point she turned and said, "What?" An impish grin.

I flushed, "Nothing."

"I know what." She smiled, turning back around, "It's OK dad."

I know I needed to leave, but what I did was move up behind her, and turned her to face me again. She shrugged. I stood close, could lean in to kiss her, and as I looked down at her she pressed into my chest as I held her, turning her mouth to my ear, "You going to be bad again?"

I could feel my fingers tingling.

I let go and she stood there before me, barefoot, white tights, her leotard dipping low between her small breasts. Her sweater unbuttoned. I looked down at her and held my hands at her hips, and stroked her abdomen with my thumb, as an answer. She lifted her chin, meeting my eyes as I touched her, as I continued to run my thumbs along the front of her thighs.

Nervousness? Surprise? I continued, and rubbed my hand over her ass, only that tight little leotard. She had no panties, nothing else on.

She turned away and continued to rinse dishes as I rubbed my hands over her ass, only her ass. Her back to me. It was my sole display of self control. She had said a little touching was OK, hadn't she? Leaning in, my hands still on her, I tucked my chin into her shoulder and said low into her ear, "You feel nice."

"So do you."

The water continued to run but she did not move. I reached around and lay my hand flat on her tummy.. Her head went down as I softly stroked her there.

"This OK?"

"It's fine." She cooed.

I brought my hands up now almost to her breasts, but again stopped. Rubbing her ribcage and under her arms. She held completely still. God I wanted to touch her again, but did not. She moved to the side, light as a feather, the continual touching was working us up. Looking at me with glassy eyes she said, "Just a sec." And was out the door.

She returned wearing those glasses moving back into place in front of me, turned the water on again and pressed her ass back into me. This game. God, I was all wired up. My cock was a pole and she touched it with her ass. I wrapped my arms back around, caressed her body. Permission, her hair and smell, I squeezed her breasts, meeting her with my crotch rocking my hip into her, nuzzling my cock into her ass, let my hard cock brush up and down her behind. She felt me, and her whole body, melting at our touch.

I could feel her going soft as I pinned her there.

Her voice so soft I could barely hear, as she pressed back against me and waggled herself over my crotch, feeling how hard I was. I stepped back.

"Daddy."

"Yes," I was stroking up and down her back as she stood there.

"I want to ask you something?"

My face flushed, what was it? Here it comes, I thought.

"So...you won't go out with mom anymore." For a moment I felt relief at all the other things she may have said, but then a flood of wondering all over again. What did she know? Exactly. I did not want to ask.

I stood in silence.

"Promise?"

"Honey, we..."

"I think I know why, daddy, you two are lonely. Maybe you need to go over stuff about us. But, I DON'T think it is good. Go out with me."

This shook me out of my reverie. She did not realize what she was saying. To go out with her. To be alone with her, how far did I want to take this? She was cutting me off from sex, did she know that? My mind going a million miles a minute. Am I just leading her on? What am I doing?

She backed herself into me and waggled her ass back and forth over my crotch, feeling how hard I was. I stepped back from her. Suddenly nervous.

I stammered, "Uh, sure, I guess."

"I'm serious. You don't know her anymore, like I do." She turned around and stood very close, looking up at me. Her hair hanging down over her eyes, her beautiful hair, full mouth, her cheeks shined.

"I'm being serious. Anything you need. You need to talk, let me know. I'm yours. All yours. I can...do...anything you want."

She lay her hand to my chest, and I took her hand.

"Baby, I..."

"You need to stop." Her eyes melted into mine. "Meet someone new; or, you know, be with me."

"I don't know. I just don't know."

"I already let you put your hands on me." I was looking down at her, still hard. My heart pounding. She was following my eyes. "Go ahead, squeeze my tits." She took my hands and pressed them right over her breasts.

I squeezed and drew my fingers down her front, looking down at her body.

"Can we go upstairs? You could, you know, give me a massage."

Turning, she faced me, "And you can behave? Right."

"Yes." I needed limits here. "Well, if this IS OK. Isn't it? Mmmm," and as she faced me I was squeezing her breasts, pressing her nipples in with my thumb.

"Yeah." She closed her eyes, "Ahhhh." Those sensitive nipples.

I ran my hands back down over her hips, and began stroking her tummy again, downy soft skin, feeling the line of her bush and tracing a line along her hips. She felt so fucking good. I began to rub her ass again. Below the waist.

She took my hand, "Come on."

When from the other room Mark called,

"DAD!!"

I NEED SOME HELP.

***********************

HELP

Now I helped Mark with his homework quite often. In fact, through all of this I had not neglected Mark at all, its just that in this little missive I don't write about everything. I was actually quite a good parent, I believe. Other than my porn obsession, sleeping with my ex-wife, and groping my daughter.

Sigh.

He was a good student but he had to work at it, and he liked me to check over his work, and if he got stuck to sort of guide him. I did not mind at all, and I actually understood what he was doing which is more than a lot of parents.

I went in and sat on the sofa by Mark, all his stuff laid out on a series of TV trays. Shortly after sitting down, Cala came into the living room as well and sat down by my side and just behind me. I was leaned forward on the sofa and she was laying back into the cusions. The room was somewhat dark except for the light illuminating Marks work, and I felt a little shuffling which was Cala drawing her legs under her.

And then I felt her hands at my shoulders, rubbing across my shoulder blades and down the middle of my back. It felt nice, and now this actually was a little innocent, letting her rub my shoulders. After a bit though, I felt her tugging at the back of my shirt, and next thing I knew her hands were up under my shirt rubbing my bare skin, stroking and scratching my back. Skin to skin, knowing it was my little Cala it was making me hard. I reached back with my one hand and found her knee and sort of lay it there, rubbing her a little on her calf as she rubbed my back.

I was moving some of the papers around with my one hand, and rubbing her calf with my other. At one point she leaned in and kissed my neck, which is distracting to say the least! I swatted at her with my open hand and shooed her away. I heard a faint giggle, Mark not noticing at all.

She moved in a bit closer, and taking her nearness as an opportunity I actually began to stroke higher up her thighs, as I did not the bus. She kept moving forward, closer and closer until my hand was landed right over the crotch of her leotards. I began palming her pussy, with her hands stroking my arms.

So we had taken our kitchen impropriety into the living room. I glanced back and Cala's eyes went wide and her mouth opened in a teenage grin, none of the reserve she showed on the bus.

I was looking over at Mark, engrossed in his work again, writing out figures, He did not notice, so I let my hand stay where it was, holding this delicious little cup full of Cala's puss, her sweet cunny rocking around in my hand. I cupped it, about the size of a little peach. When I pressed my middle finger, could feel her slit run along the center. My every sense wakened, my cock grew stiff in my lap and I adjusted it.

What would we do when we got upstairs, but Mark's work continued and he had a lot to do. I continued to help, and was determined not to cut it short. I could tell Cala was trying to tempt me with her little games with me.

Two can play this game, and I began to ever so slightly curl my fingers pressing them hard between her legs and she began to wiggle around over my hand, closing her legs trapping me between her legs. I pressed my middle finger upward pressing the fabric of her leotard and tights into her pussy lips, and could feel her getting wet soaking the fabric, I continued to scratch over her glancing back I could see her head bowed and her eyes closed. She noticed me and lifting up, touched her upper lip with her tongue, and mouthed the words 'UPSTAIRS.'

She was having a hard time holding her hips still as I rubbed her, and her frustration was pronounced, but I felt it too. Yet I continued. After awhile she moved back away from me into the cushions and my hands fell from her. Frustrated no doubt.

I waggled my hands around at my side, but now she ignored me.

A little while later she was gone.

Shit, I thought. But I was going to do the right thing on this count.

*************************

FRUSTRATED

Cala threw herself down on the bed in utter frustration:

Her mind going a million miles a second. I have never felt so horny and frustrated in my life. How can it be? What the fuck? I mean, WHAT THE FUCK? I reserve my feelings, can usually control myself, hold myself in; but now! And these are feelings that cannot even be expressed to anybody! No matter what. This secret. Its no wonder I am so prone to tears. I graduate in two weeks and then, I'm leaving and my life may be just beginning but then it makes me cry. Why, because THIS will be ending. I leave Nick, dad. I been crying at the weirdest shit. This is fucked.

Cala rose from the bed and walked a restless circle in her room. Do I want this? Hell, What is THIS? Waving her arms in the air. An affair with my dad? To be jealous of mom. Jealous of Mark.

Shit, serious daddy issues. She laughed at that.

My heart literally aches, it hasn't helped I can't find a boy in my life, just scare them all off. I'm the new girl. My heart, just hurts. I got to keep pressing down these feelings. And, goddammit Mark. Really?! Tonight. You got to study, tonight!! For fucking two hours!

She fell back onto her bed. I don't want to leave, I don't. I want THIS. And she tucked her hand between her legs and squeezed. I fucking ache, I'm wet all the time. I am so fucking horny. Ugh. It's all so overwhelming, I don't know where to start, or what to say, I'm like on quicksand and the surface tension is pulling me under. To try pull away just sucks me in further.

I just need to go to bed, wake up and everything will feel better.

Yeah, right.

Cala went to her dresser, pulled off her clothes and threw them in a pile at the foot of her bed, got in her bed naked. Enjoying the feel of cool sheets on her skin. Her eyes wide open in the darkness.

I want to wake up tomorrow and go swimming, lay in the sun. Feel the water on my skin. Pamper myself. It calms me.

But her mind continuing to drift to Nick.

Nick. Nickie. In my mind I see his name now, Nick. Nickie. Fuck. Serious daddy issues. She rolled to her side stroking her bush with her fingers. I am going to end up a stripper. She laughed into her pillow, her eyes watering. We've been in this 'relationship,' what, two, three months? Yeah, call it that. This relationship. Everything felt like it was moving closer and closer, until this evening. He was as playful as I've ever seen him, different. If this is what he's like, I want it. But god. It can't. I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Then, the distance. Fuck. fuck. Now all I have is that empty feeling I'm always left with when someone you love really hard, and go after hard, just up and goes back to their life. And then, you don't exist. But I know that is not it, he had to help Mark, nothing more than that. I am reading too much into it. I am just needy or greedy. But the day I leave, it's OVER. Alone. I should not even be feeling this shit.

I feel emptier and lonelier than before, and it keeps happening. I am one of those girls doomed to repeat my mistakes, and THIS! Fuck, the ultimate impossible relationship. I mean I really started to feel like he was cheating on ME when he was with mom (I fucking still do), and now tonight I feel that way again.