The Film

DAVID:

Are you willing to place yourself entirely within my hands?

ALEX:

[pause]

Of course I am.

DAVID:

[angry]

You hesitated!

ALEX:

Only because I'm confused, and, and scared . . .

DAVID comes over to ALEX and clutches him.

DAVID:

Listen to me. It's crucial that, from here on in, you trust yourself entirely to me. My methods may seem strange, but they will work. Only if you trust me will you ever be free of these things.

ALEX:

[scared]

O-okay.

DAVID:

[smiling]

Good.

DAVID returns to his chair.

DAVID:

Now, I need you to take off your clothes and sit quite still.

ALEX:

Take off my clothes?

DAVID:

Yes.

Strip, please.

Completely.

It was the moment. I was genuinely nervous. Not only was John looking at me with that cool, appraising gaze, I knew that beneath it he was genuinely desiring me. And then Vanessa, Kelly and Daisy were watching me too, with who knew what agendas of their own - although I couldn't help noticing that Kelly and Vanessa had been going home together a lot lately.

I stood up and, feeling genuinely shy, took off my shirt, runners, socks and cargos and laid them on a nearby chair. Then, blushing, I slid down my boxer shorts and laid them and my t-shirt on the rest of my clothes. I sat back on the couch, my hands folded over my groin, quite naked.

DAVID gets up and goes over to the cupboard. He opens it and takes something out. He approaches ALEX.

DAVID:

[holding out a sleep mask]

Put this on?

ALEX:

[nervous]

W-why?

DAVID:

It's important that you experience some sensory deprivation, so that you can focus completely on your own sensations and not on your surroundings. Put it on.

ALEX takes the sleep mask and puts it on.

As the sleep mask covered my eyes, I trembled with anticipation. I knew theoretically what was coming, but it still felt incredibly thrilling and a little frightening to place myself in their hands like this.

Then John, as we had planned, took my hands and I felt the cuffs snap shut over my wrists.

DAVID handcuffs ALEX.

ALEX:

What are you doing!

DAVID raises ALEX's hands over his head and attaches them to a metal loop which is part of a thick nylon rope attached to the wall. ALEX's hands are now cuffed over his head, exposing him completely.

ALEX:

[genuinely scared]

What is this! What are you doing! I didn't . . . stop!

DAVID:

Relax, Alex. We have to prepare you. You must be in a state of readiness.

ALEX:

Oooh god . . .

And then I felt the sofa move as John got onto it, and then . . . his hands were on my bare thighs, caressing me, moving up them to the parts of me that would normally be covered, stroking my naked body gently but decisively. I arched my back and moaned softly.

DAVID:

[breathing heavily]

You must be . . . you must be ready for it, when it comes . . . don't be afraid . . .

ALEX:

[whimpering]

What are you going to do to me?

DAVID:

It's my job to ease you through this.

His hands stroked my bare thighs, moving underneath me, caressing my bum rhythmically, parting my legs, stroking my already erect penis. I blushed furiously that I had a hard-on from him doing this and that the women were watching. I should not have been reacting like this to another man doing this to me, and yet I was clearly very, very aroused.

Then I felt him get off the sofa again, and I gave a soft moan of mingled protest and relief, but then I heard him cross the floor and open the cupboard . . .

. . . and know I knew it was coming, what I had half-dreaded and half-longed for, but it was imminent now and there was no stopping it, unless, that is, I stepped out of character and addressed the girls . . . I could do that, I could still stop this from happening . . . I didn't have to go through with it . . . I could still keep my dignity, my pride . . .

I heard a faint buzzing and just in time I remembered my line, and I didn't have to fake the emotion.

JOHN has produced a machine with a motor and control panel and a pole sticking out, with a vibrator on the end of it. He lubricates the vibrator and places the machine between ALEX's legs. Then he presses a button and the pole becomes longer, pushing up between ALEX's thighs.

ALEX:

[blindly looking from side to side]

What are you . . . what's that . . . oh my god, what are you going to . . .

[feeling the machine touching his buttocks]

Oh god, no please! No!

DAVID:

Alex.

This is what you fear.

This is what drives the entities to do this to you.

You must face the fear.

You must face the thing, and experience it.

Only then can you master it.

ALEX:

[begging, tearful]

No, please, don't, not in my bum, please don't . . .

We see the vibrator pushing between ALEX's buttocks. DAVID positions ALEX's hips to receive it while ALEX begs for mercy.

ALEX:

[sobbing]

Please, please, not in there, pleeease . . .

The VIBRATOR penetrates ALEX and he opens his mouth in shock.

I felt the slippery, twirling, humming tip of the vibrator pressing against my asshole, and my cock was rock hard, and I squirmed desperately, nude on the couch, trying to evade it, but John was holding me down and I couldn't resist as the machine pushed itself into my anus and began to bugger me.

I don't suppose it lasted too long but it seemed a hugely long time that I squirmed and whimpered, for real, a young man nude on the couch, as I was clinically sodomised by a machine, for the camera of my three female best friends. I hadn't known this, but this had been a fantasy of two of them, Vanessa and Kelly, to have me machine-fucked for the film. And now they were having it enacted live before them, by one more-than-willing actor and me, a semi-reluctant participant, mortified at how aroused I was but also in the grip of violent sensation and tides of emotion.

John's fist pulled on my cock and I writhed slowly in his hands, my slim body arching and tensing, as I moaned helplessly. My tight round ass was penetrated by the pink vibrator on the end of a gleaming metal rod.

And then, in what wasn't in the script at all but which we'd all known must happen, I felt the machine being withdrawn from my ass and I was rolled onto my belly and a cushion stuffed under my genitals, pushing my ass up in the air, and as I moaned "Oh GOD! PLEASE!" I heard the sound of a belt being unbuckled, and then before Vanessa had time to call "cut", John had quickly mounted my naked hips and was pushing his stiff penis into my slippery, aching arsehole.

If I had been shocked by the feel of the machine, this was very different. It was a kind of consummation and a wave of violent emotion went through me. I felt him pushing into me and I bit my lip with the pain, and then as he slid his length inside me, I let out an agonised half-grunt, half-scream, and then I gave in and wept as John began to fuck me for real.

He was exceptionally tender, kissing me, encouraging me, stroking me, holding me, but at the same time he was still fucking my arse, and it was beyond anything I had done yet. The girls were watching me, videoing me being anally fucked by another man, for real. And yielding to him, helplessly, too. I didn't protest anymore, just wept from the pleasure and pain and shame and ecstasy of giving myself up so completely to another man, letting him use me like a girl, being his sex object.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" he whispered in my ear.

"Yes," I sobbed.

"You wanted someone to do this to you. To fuck your arse in such a way that you could tell yourself that you had no choice. To take you. You want Daisy to do this to you, don't you?"

"Oh god," I moaned. I was wincing and gasping as his cock slid in and out of me, so firm and solid and smooth and also so stingingly painful. It was overwhelming and humiliating and I had to give in to it, utterly.

"Tell me what I'm doing," he gasped.

"You're fucking me," I moaned.

"Describe it. Have you let anyone fuck you anally before?"

"Not anyone human," I whimpered.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel like . . . oh god . . . I feel like . . . like I"ve never been this naked before. Uhhh . . . I feel like . . . ooooh . . . like everyone can see me. Everyone can see what I want."

"You want me, don't you?" he said. "You want this."

He rolled me onto my side and the cushion fell off the sofa. The pressure of my tight round buttocks squeezing his cock made him ram himself into me, and I felt his cock tip touch my prostate.

"AaaAAAAAAUUNNHHH!" I squealed, helplessly, as I came in a gush, gasping and weeping. He reached around and milked my cock and then he rolled me onto my back and lifted up my legs and I yielded further to him, gasping wordlessly as he pumped hard into me, using me for his pleasure, before I finally felt him cum inside me.

He came down, panting for breath, and so did I, slowly, still shaking with the extremity of what had been done to me. I'd been stripped and sodomised on camera by another man. And I'd had an orgasm from it.

What I really wanted to do was lie there with him, but that wasn't in the script. After a moment I felt him get up, and heard him doing up his trousers. Then he unlocked me from the rope attaching me to the wall. The key of the handcuffs landed on my bare, sweating stomach.

DAVID:

[curtly]

You can see yourself out.

I will summon you for the next session.

DAVID leaves. A shocked ALEX manages to unlock the handcuffs, then takes off the sleeping mask. He is naked. Slowly he cleans himself up, dresses and leaves.

I took my time about it because I had to. I wiped my own cum off my belly and cock, and wiped his from between my bum cheeks. Then I put my clothes on, wiped my face, washed my hands and face in his office sink and left the room.

I walked right out and walked straight home and went into my bedroom and flopped down on the bed. I lay there, still shaking, and after a while I felt sleep flowing over me and I gave in.

When I woke up, it was dark and I felt woozy. Then I remembered that I had been shooting the film. I got up and drank a glass of water and went to the bathroom, stripped off and took a shower. Then, still damp in my bathrobe, I rang Vanessa.

"Alex," she said. "Thank god. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm okay. I'm really sorry. I had to go home. Is it okay?"

"It's fucking amazing," she said. "It's the best yet. I'm sorry, I just wanted to know you're okay. We don't need to do it again. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. "How's John?"

There was a pause.

"He's a bit upset," she said. "I think he's worried about you."

"I'll call him," I said and after assuring Vanessa that I was fine one more time, I rang off. I called John.

He answered and there was silence in the background; I guessed he was at home.

"Hi," he said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm good. I'm sorry I ran off."

"I'm sorry I did what I did," he said.

"I'm not," I said. "Apparently it looks great."

"But there's more than how it looks," he said.

There was a long pause.

"Listen," I said, "I'm hungry. Do you want to come over? We can get pizza."

He was silent for a long moment.

"I'm on my way," he said.

Fifteen minutes later my door buzzed, and I let him in. He was in his street clothes. I was still wearing my bathrobe. I shut the door behind him and he looked at me.

I reached out and took his hands and led him into my bedroom. He plucked the bathrobe from me and laid me naked on the bed, and then he stripped too and lay down on me, and we finally kissed, naked, our young men's bodies touching, and we went on kissing for a long while until I got on top of him and turned around and took him in my mouth, and he took me in his.

And then after that, I got off him and we seemed to be all over and in between each other, wrestling, kissing, holding each other down, grunting with the strain of it; I smelled his sweat and his after-shave and I tasted him, and our hands were touching each other in places I'd never touched another man before, and then he was forcing me down on the bed and rolling me onto my belly and as I gasped "No - no" he mounted me, parting my legs with his, and he was smearing some gel between my damp buttocks, and then as I moaned with the pain and submission of it he entered me again, this man abruptly sodomising me, and I was screaming into the pillow with the release and the ecstasy of it. He fucked me up my bum until I came, shamelessly, over the sheet and he inside my rectum, and then he pulled out and at last we held each other. It was around midnight.

I got up, rang for pizza and opened some wine. We lay naked in the bed, John and I, talking and eating.

"This would never work," he said apologetically, smiling at me.

"I think I know why," I said, "but tell me anyway."

"Because you're a basically straight bottom," he said, "and I'm a gay bottom. I want to be where you are and what you really want is for me to be a girl."

"That's not very fair," I protested. "I love having your cock up my ass."

"Yes," said John, sipping his wine, his eyes glinting at me in the dim light of the room. "But you're a tourist, Alex. You're playing at being gay and you enjoy it, but are you gonna do it to me?"

I considered it, looking at John's slim, angular body sitting naked opposite me, and I realised that I felt no desire to take him; I loved that he desired me, but I wasn't interested in taking him or doing to him what he did to me. My throat felt tight and I blushed.

"No," I admitted.

"No," he agreed. "So this is as far as we can go. I don't know whether you're meant to end up with boys or girls or both, Alex, but I do know that I'm not right for you."

I drank some wine, feeling mildly drunk and decadent and sophisticated, but also naive and sad.

"It seems a bit unfair that I finally meet someone who I have great sex with," I said, "and he says we aren't gonna work out."

"We're not though," he said. "Honestly."

"In the long run."

"In the long run."

"There's still the short run," I said.

"Yes," he admitted.

"So," I said.

We put the pizza and our wine glasses on the floor and we came together again.

That night I showed John that I hadn't forgotten what he'd told me in the bar; we went

on for a good two hours and became hot, tired, flushed and very sticky. In the end, we were kissing and grappling slowly and sleepily and for the sake of one last time, he rolled me onto my belly and slid up inside me and I whimpered and moaned softly as he took me once more, then we fell asleep with him still wedged behind me. I woke up in the night, once, with his penis pressed between my naked ass cheeks, and I drifted off again.

In the morning we were like any one night stand; friendly, affectionate, a little reserved. We took it in turns to shower and we went into town together, and even parted with a proper kiss. But that was the last time I was intimate with John.

***

After that, Vanessa, Daisy, Kelly and I were in total confusion the next time we met to discuss the scene. The next scene was to have been a big scene with me becoming the sexual toy of a group of monsters, but now that we had established a practice that anything that happened on screen was to happen on some level for real, that was out; even Vanessa did not want me to be gang-banged for real. It had become much more serious and much less extravagant.

I did not want to discuss what John and I had done. It was a one-night stand and although Daisy seemed curious and even a little pleased that it had happened, Kelly and Vanessa didn't ask me about it.

It was yet another night, sitting around with wine after dinner, and we were so into this process now that it was almost like an endurance test; what new ordeal could we dream up?

"We could go back to the frogman rape thing," said Kelly unenthusiastically.

"Feels a bit tame now," I said. Kelly nodded.

"The bukkake thing," said Vanessa, toying with her wine glass, " . . . I dunno. It's not personal enough. We need to get to the end of the story."

"Maybe we need to bring forward the appearance of the ex," I said.

"Maybe," said Vanessa.

"If we're gonna do that, we need to find another way of getting Daisy and Alex back together," said Daisy.

"What if-" I began.

"How about-" Kelly began. We looked at each other and paused.

"You first," she said.

"No, you."

"I was just thinking," said Kelly, and she brushed back an unruly lock of hair and grinned, "how about the ex has a sort of . . . "

"Agent?" I said. I had been thinking along the same lines.

"I was gonna say droid," said Kelly, "but yeah."

"What are you thinking of?" said Vanessa.

"I was just thinking," said Kelly, "we need some kind of last line of defence before the ex,

and we"ve gone off the idea of the big circle jerk, not to mention that it's gonna be, like, mega-expensive, so I was thinking, what if the ex had a last weapon in the shape of, um, a girl, who manages to seduce Alex but then Daisy intervenes and kills her in a really spectacular way? And after that the ex herself has to show up and she and Daisy fight and Daisy defeats the ex. In some spectacular and humiliating way."

"What kind of spectacular way?" said Vanessa.

"I dunno," said Kelly. "But I'd work it out. Something messy and horrifying."

"We'd need another actor," Daisy said.

"No," Kelly said, "I'll do it."

We all looked at her.

"Alex has already gone way beyond the call of duty," she said, "and so has Daisy. It's my

turn."

"What kind of messy death?" said Vanessa.

"I kind of like the idea of me being killed by the ex's own weapons," Kelly said. "You

know, tentacles, goo, that kind of stuff. I'm okay to do that."

"But that's how the ex gets killed," I said.

"So we'll figure out something else for the ex," she said.

"But that's gonna mess everything up," said Vanessa.

"Not necessarily," said Kelly. "Daisy can devise a way of killing the ex. Actually I've already thought of one. The ex has devised a way whereby Alex will get incredibly messy and sexually humiliated in public, but Daisy gets the ex to do it instead."

"I like that," said Daisy, grinning.

"Yeah," said Vanessa, nodding slowly, 'that might work. But in the meantime I'll have to call Fiona and tell her we're doing it differently."

At that point, Vanessa's mobile rang.

"Oh," she said, "it's Fiona. Hang on."

She answered the phone, and after a brief hello she fell silent and listened. We saw her turning pale, and we all realised that something was very wrong. Then Vanessa said quietly "Okay, no, I understand. It's okay. Yes, it'll be fine, honestly. Thanks for calling me. Good luck."

She rang off, stared at the ground for a moment, and then looked up and said "Fiona can't do it. She's been offered a role in the new Spielberg."