All Comments on 'The Last Day'

Good story, but you really need an editor.

Many comma errors and the word is "afterwards" not "after words"

Quick and straightforward. Keep writing. A phrase I've never heard before: "...a non-forgetful night." Sort of means the same as unforgettable, but makes the reader stop and ponder. Not what you're going for.

Please take this into a meeting later in there lives