The Open Lotus Retreat Ch. 01

Author's notes:

Warning: This story contains bisexual sex. There is both hetero sex, and bisexual sex between both women and men. If you're not into that, then kindly back out and find another story.

Everyone in this story is over eighteen. I hope you enjoy it. Ratings and comments are always welcome, but please, only if you've read the story.

I'd like to thank Grania2 for her brilliant editing and advice. Any mistakes remaining are all mine as I've added some after her editing.

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Sex Camp at the Open Lotus Retreat : Chapter 1

"Robert, we need to talk," are never words you want to hear immediately after making love to your wife of twenty five years.

I'd thought she be basking in the glow, as I was, and, as we often did together after sex, but Connie sighed several times and flopped agitated from side to side on the bed. She slipped out of bed and trotted off to the bathroom.

She had just gotten back from the bathroom after emptying my cum from her pussy, and I expected her to slip back into bed with me and snuggle, as she likes to do, but she got dressed, and her voice took a serious tone. "Robert, we need to talk. Come on. Get up. And, get dressed. I want to have a heart to heart talk with you."

"But, Connie, can't it wait? I'm still in the moment. What's this about, anyway?"

"No. It can't wait another minute. Put some clothes on, and let's go downstairs. I don't want to argue in our bedroom, in the nude."

"Argue?"

"After you hear what I have to say, it might come to that. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

I figured something big was up; it wasn't like Connie to take such a serious, and demanding tone with me. And, she only called me Robert when she wanted my full attention. So, I begrudgingly got out of bed. I got dressed and then headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"What's this about Connie? What's got you so serious?"

"Robert, you better sit down for this."

That's the second thing you don't want to hear after: 'We need to talk'.

"Robert, I mean it. Take a seat," she said, as she paced the kitchen floor. So I took a seat at the table. She held her arms tightly to her chest and breathed out heavily. And as she twitched and paced I became nervous myself. Something big was troubling her, and I didn't like the looks of things.

"Okay...I'll just come out with it...Robert, I've been a faithful and devoted wife, and the mother of our children for twenty five years now. And now...now that the boys are grown and moved out, I want to grow."

"Fine, honey, anything you want. Do you want to go back to college and finish your Masters? Take some pottery class or something?"

"No, Robert. Listen to me. This has nothing to do with anything that pedestrian. If I had wanted to take a fucking pottery class, don't you think I wouldn't have just signed up for it. I don't need your permission. You're my husband not my master."

"Okay...okay...Connie. I'm sorry. You're right, you can do whatever you want. It's your life, and you certainly don't need my permission. So what's this about then?"

"Robert, there's somethings you don't know about me, and that I'm sure you're going to find shocking. But before I get into all that, I just want to lay out some ground rules for this discussion. I want you to just sit and listen, without interruption for a while, and then after hearing what I have to say, our marriage will go one way or the other, the choice is up to you. Are we clear?"

I was shocked. I was under the impression that we had the most idyllic relationship a married couple could possibly have. And now she was talking about our marriage going one way or the other.

"Connie?"

"Shush, Robert! I mean it. Now listen. I've been your faithful wife and lover for the last twenty five years. And, remember this: I do still love you. But, I want more than just you now, Robert. While I've been faithful to you in the flesh, my mind has wandered a long time ago. You're a good husband, Robert, and this has nothing to do you; none of this is your fault. This is all me. I'm the one who has changed."

"Changed? In what way," I couldn't help but interject.

"I want an open relationship, Robert. I want to fuck and be fucked by other men, and sometimes more than one at a time, and maybe even some women, Robert. I want to make love to other people, lots of other people, men and women. I believe I might be a closet bisexual. There...I've said it."

"Connie!" I blurted.

"Shush...I'm not done yet. There's still some things I need to tell you."

My head reeled. My heart pounded. I couldn't have seen this coming.

"Here, I'll get you a drink," Connie said, as I sat there slack jawed. She got up and went to the cupboard and poured two shots of whiskey. She downed one and brought me the other. I was so shocked my brain didn't know what to do with the whiskey, so I just put it on the kitchen table in front of me and stared into it.

"There's more," Connie started again. "It has been going on for about ten years now. Anytime I'd get some time alone; when you were working late, or on one of your business trips, or out playing golf, and the boys were at school or out with their friends, I'd read erotic literature, and watch pornographic moves on the internet. And I'd masturbate to it, Robert. And there's more...I have a secret stash of sex toys, dildos and vibrators. And the themes of the porn and erotica that get me off...well let's just say...I'm sure you're going to think them perverted. Threesomes, foursomes, and orgies. I lust for a life where I can immerse myself in that form of sexual expression. Sexual freedom, Robert, that's what I want, total and unabashed sexual freedom. And, I dream of other women also. I have for a long time now. Ever since I was a teenage girl. I want to experience sex with another female, Robert."

Silence fell on the room. I couldn't speak. I uttered an incomprehensible sound in an attempt to say something, to kill the silence.

"Shush...I still have a few things to say, Robbie, then you can speak. The boys have moved out of the house, and we're not getting any younger. I want to experience things before I'm too old to enjoy them. I don't want any regrets. I know this is all a shock to you, but listen carefully to me. I want you to come with me on this journey, Robbie. I'd still like to spend the rest of my days with you. But, if you don't want to, or if you just can't, then I can understand. We'll have to split up then. It'll be my fault. I won't take anything from you. I have my job, and I'll have a pension from that when I retire, and my parent's inheritance, I'll be fine. I will miss you if it comes to that, but I have to spread my sexual wings, and I hope that if it does come to that, that we can remain friends."

I was gripped by that vacant phase of shock, where no emotion gets through but your gut is a wreck.

A long moment of silence fell on the room.

"I know you may need time to digest what I had just said, and to think about what path you want to take on this, but do you have any immediate thoughts on the matter, Robert?"

"I ah...I...I just...I don't know what to say, Connie. This is all so sudden. I'm stunned. How did this come about? When did you change? And, are you really willing to give up our marriage if I say no I can't go with you on this, this bizarre perverted journey you want to go on?"

"I don't think of this as so much a change, Robert, as another part of me that is fighting to live. Ever since I was a little girl my mother would always reprimand me about touching myself 'down there', as she put it. I found my clitoris at a very young age. I didn't know what I was doing, it just felt good. Then, as a young teenager reading teenage romance novels, I'd get very wet between my legs during the romance scenes, and those teenage books weren't very explicit at all. Then, a few years later, but still a teenager mind you, I found my father's stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines in his bedroom closet. When he wasn't home, I'd borrow them, one at a time from the bottom or the middle of the stack so he wouldn't notice. The pictures of the naked ladies and the sex filled stories made me cream my panties. I couldn't talk to anyone about it, not even my best girlfriends. I knew they didn't approve of pornography or erotica, or men's girly magazines in general. I had to hide what I really was, Robert. I had to suppress my abundant sexuality because I knew I'd be labeled a slut; there's nothing worse than being branded a slut when you're a teenage girl, or even a young lady for that matter, especially back then, but you know that, you know what it was like for girls being called a slut. And...so, I've been hiding my true sexual self for all these years, Robert, and I want her to be free now...no more hiding. I am who I am. I am a slut, Robbie, and I'm proud of it-now; now that I realize that I'm fine, it's society that's fucked up. I want my inner slut to flower, and to be free.

"And as far as being willing to give up on our marriage, I hope I don't have to, but yes, I feel I need to turn the page to a new chapter in my life. I need to express my true self before I get old and die. I'm 47, Robert, and you're 48 now. We've raised our children, it's time to live our lives before we're too old to enjoy our bodies. I want to enjoy my sexuality to it's fullest, now while I still can."

"I...ah...I...," I stuttered, still in shock.

"Come with me. Let's do this together, Robbie. It'll be fun. You can have sex with other women; anyone you want. Haven't you ever thought about it?"

"No. Not since we've been married, I haven't had the need to, Connie. You satisfy all my needs in that department."

"I know, Robbie, I know...and...that's the problem between us. My sex drive is stronger than yours. You're perfectly satisfied with vanilla; I want to taste all the flavors. And, you're perfectly satisfied with once a week, our Saturday afternoon fuck; I need more than that, Robert."

"But, you were satisfied with our vanilla sex for twenty five years, Connie."

"No. Not really, Robert. I've come to realize, that I've been pretending I'm someone I'm not. For years I've had to suppress my sexuality. Do you remember when we were first married, when the few times I attempted to initiate sex? Do you remember what you said to me?"

"No. I'm sorry, Connie, I don't remember."

"You said that I was making a fool of myself, Robert. Do you know how hurtful that was? And how that shut me down?"

I thought back to when we were first married. I couldn't remember Connie initiating sex, let alone my response to it; it seemed to me that we were always on the same page regarding sex, but it'd been twenty five years after all.

"I...ahh...I'm sorry...I don't even remember..."

"Well, that shut me down alright. From that point on we played by your rules. But now, I just can't suppress it anymore, Robbie. I love you, but this is stronger than the both of us. I need to express my true self, and without criticism. You are the one with the problem, Robert. You have an abnormally low sex drive. From what I've been reading, and with conversations with other women, most men want it all the time, not just once a week."

"I can try to change, Connie. We can have sex more than once a week if you want. We can go to marriage counseling..."

"It's too late, Robert. And, it's more than that. I won't be satisfied with just more sex with you. Not now. I need others. I need an open marriage. I want to swing. There are others out there like me, swingers and people who are open and sex positive. Those are my people, and I need to find them. I'd like you to join me, but you need to be all in, Robert. I know this is all a big shock to you. I've dumped a lot on you, and I'm asking a lot from you - it would be a big change for you..."

"But, Connie...," I started.

"Take some time to think about it. But please, don't take too long. I'll need your answer soon. I don't want to drag this out" Connie said, as she got up from her chair. She stood for a moment and gazed out the window with a willful stare; determined with her shoulders back and her chin up, but her face calm and unburdened. And then, without another word, walked out of the house and into her garden. I knew there was no sense in going after her. She was done talking; the ball was in my court now.

We didn't speak much the rest of that day, and in fact Connie slept in the guest bedroom that night. She said she need a little separation after all that was said. I tried to resume normal life after that, but I couldn't keep my mind on work that next day. So I took a week off and headed up into the mountains to a cabin I like to rent for fishing trips.

I wasn't in the mood to fish though, so I went for long hikes in the woods and sat for hours looking across the lake and thinking of how we'd gotten here and what to do next. Thinking back, I guess there were signs, maybe too subtle for my thick head, but I did remember Connie had suggested experimenting with different sex positions once during one of our Saturday afternoons, but I was a vanilla missionary style guy, and my answer had been no, so I guess I shamed her into acquiescing. And, Connie seemed to always have an orgasm during our sex, at least it seemed to me, so I assumed she was satisfied. It never occurred to me to ask her if she was satisfied or not; it never occurred to me that she was faking anything, let alone her satisfaction in bed with me. She never let on about any of this, until now, but if I did say the things she said I did, say that she was acting like a fool when we first married when she attempted to initiate sex, then I guess I could see why she repressed herself. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I had to take some responsibility for not knowing my own wife.

The thought of having sex with other people was not something I'd thought about since I was a young buck. Sure, when I was a teenage boy, or a young twenty something, I'm sure I did fantasize about a threesome with two women; I'd be lying to myself if I said I'd never given it any thought at all. But, once Connie and I married and settled into a comfortable routine, I stopped even looking at other women in a lustful way; I hardly noticed them at all. In fact, as I thought about it, Connie use to say: 'Did you see her?' about some woman dressed provocatively, or something hot about the woman she was pointing out, and I'd always say I didn't, because I really didn't ogle other women. My mind was always on work or what needed to be done next in life, and Connie satisfied me in every way, so I didn't need to look.

So, Connie noticed those hot ladies and I didn't...hmm... I had always thought it was because she was testing me, or she was jealous of the other woman-not that Connie needed to be jealous of any other woman, she always was, and still is, a knockout. She's buxom with hips to match, but a thin waist. Her face is pretty, and topped with her dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes, her smile lights up a room. Everyone has always told me how lucky I was to have her. But now I see that she herself was attracted to those women she asked if I'd seen. I guess that's another sign I missed.

As I thought about it, I convinced myself that I could have a threesome with my wife and another woman, if that's what she wanted, but then I remembered she wanted sex with other men too. I was having a hard time with that part. As that week wore on, I waffled between staying with Connie and leaving her. But, each time I thought of what my life would be like without her, it brought me to tears. The thought of being alone scared me, and the thought of going out on the dating scene, and dating other women in an attempt to replace her was not something I could get my head around.

As I pulled my car into our driveway at the end of that week in the mountains, my heart sank. I knew what I had to do, but I was not at all happy about it.

"Connie!" I yelled up the stairs as there was no sign of her downstairs, and yet her car was in the drive.

"I'll be down in a minute," she yelled. She sounded out of breath, similar to when we're having sex. I immediately thought she might be with someone else, but I couldn't imagine she'd be so callous, or careless, she knew I'd be coming home today. Was she just exercising? I didn't know anymore.

My curiosity got the best of me, so I headed up the stairs. As I ascended the staircase I heard what sounded like background music and moaning. There was also a low buzzing sound I couldn't place. I followed the sounds to our bedroom. The door was open and so I walked in. Connie was on the bed, naked and propped up against a bunch of pillows. Her legs were spread wide and facing me. I looked between her legs and saw where the buzzing sound was coming from. In her right hand, she held some foot long device with a big round head buzzing at her clit. With her left hand she held the end a dildo that was buried into her pussy. She saw me but made no attempt to cover herself or stop what she was doing. She smiled at me but did not talk, as she continued to masturbate herself in front of me. I looked on stunned and slack jawed as she started to tremble and her head went back and eyes closed as she shuddered to orgasm.

My eyes followed the music and moans to our TV mounted on the opposite wall. Playing on the screen was a porn movie. Stunned, I watched two women eating each other while beside them on the bed two men were blowing each other.

I didn't know what to say, so I walked out of the room and back down the stairs. Initially I was shocked, but then I recalled her confession the other day of masturbating with toys to porn, and I thought she must have staged that for my benefit.

When she came down stairs she was dressed only in her robe, and she looked flushed. I looked at her, but didn't say a word.

"Well, if you think I'm going to apologize, you're mistaken. That's me, that's what I do. I enjoy it. Take it or leave it." She said it so matter-of-factly, and without embarrassment that it shocked me.

"Connie, I just...I know you said you did that, but I just...I hadn't expected to see that when I came home. I'm sorry...this is all new to me, and it's hard for me to..."

"Well you didn't have to run out of the room like that. You could have stayed and joined me," she interrupted.

"I'm sorry, Connie; it's just all too new to me right now. Besides, I didn't run out of the room, I walked," I said, feeling the need to defend myself.

"So, I presume, during your time in the mountains you've given the matter some thought," she cut right to it.

"Yes...I have, Connie and I have to tell you I don't like it. I don't like either option. But, as much as I can't stand the thought of you having sex with other men, I can't stand the thought of not having you in my life either; I love you. So, I have an offer for you. Would you be satisfied with experimenting with just women, you know, sex with other women only, no men?"

"As tempting as that offer is, Robert, and as that would satisfy some of my wanderlust, I'm afraid I'd still be living a lie, and eventually we'd be right back at this same juncture."

I took a deep breath. I had played my only hand and lost. I was now between a rock and a hard place. I hadn't fully committed to any decision since I was hoping she'd take up my offer, but now I knew I had to fish or cut bait.

After a long pause, I said, "Okay, Connie. I'll try to join you on your journey. But, I have to tell you, I don't know if I can. Only time will tell. But, I will try. I'm only human, Connie, and I'm just a simple man. I hope I can stomach watching you with other men," I said with a heavy heart.

"And what was with that porn you were watching up stairs? Was that gay porn?" I inquired.