The Third Time's the Charm

Andy was rummaging through Jeff's clothes trying to find something that would fit him better.

Lauren kept looking at me, wondering what was going on. I had told her that I wanted to wait until everyone was together before we spoke.

"You look like hell, Mom," she said. "Where's Dale? I know he's important to the company he works for but if there's a family emergency, he should be here." She looked at me and then to Mindy who turned away from her.

"Oh, shit," gasped Lauren. "He's the cause of all of this isn't he?"

Again Mindy pretended to look for something on the floor. Lauren turned red from her anger and slammed her fist on the table. She spilled a glass of juice in the process which caused Ashley to squeal in delight and knock over her own glass of juice on purpose.

While that was going on we heard the distinctive rumble of a high powered motor. Lauren jumped up angrily and headed for the door. "Is that Dale?" she asked. "I'm gonna..."

"Relax, Honey, that isn't Dale. Although I wish it was. Dale's Mustang is a lot louder than that. That sounds like your sister's car," I said.

"What the hell do you mean, you wish it WAS Dale?" asked Lauren. "Mother, there's something wrong with you. You seem to keep picking these assholes that abuse you and for some reason you can't say no to them, but this..."

She was interrupted by Mindy's burst of laughter. Lauren glared at her.

"Sorry," said Mindy. "But when you find out what's actually going on, you'll realize how ironic what you just said was. You're completely wrong, yet prophetically right, at the same time."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Mindy?" asked Lauren, just as Shannon stepped inside the door.

"Hi Mom. What's going on?" she asked cheerfully. "Where's daddy?" She looked around for Dale, as if it was a game and he was hiding from her. I knew then that things were not going to go well.

I already felt like hell. And I was still in shock. The fact that I had damaged my marriage was still sinking in. At that time I was still under the impression that Dale would sulk for a while and then forgive me and we would work things out. If it was a really big argument, I sent in my big gun. My big gun was of course Shannon.

I had known that of my three kids, they were all completely different. I knew that no matter what happened, Jeff would be tough to convince. No matter what happened, he would immediately defend Andrew. As the oldest, he had bonded with Andrew for a longer time. But he was too young to realize how terrible we had it back then and hbad a father Andrew had been. Like many people, he was a victim of seeing the past through Rose colored glasses.

Lauren, wouldn't side with either of the men. She was MY daughter. She would side with me no matter what went down or who was right. That left Shannon. And even though Shannon was Andrew's biological daughter, she may as well have been spit out of the end of Dale's dick.

If Dale had been reborn as a pretty twenty one year old girl, he would be Shannon. She worshipped the ground he walked on. Shannon would be on Dale's side no matter what. So her looking for him was no surprise.

"Mom, where's my Daddy?" she repeated. "I think I need iridium spark plugs and he..."

I wanted to explain things before they saw him.

"Here, I am Sarah," said Andy coming down the stairs and holding his arms out for a hug. He didn't even remember the name of his youngest child by calling her Sarah instead of Shannon.

Only Jeff knew that Andy was in the house. Lauren was shocked and looked at me. Shannon on the other hand was pissed.

"Mother, I asked you where my Daddy was, not my sperm donor!" she hissed. "What's going on and why the fuck is he here? Where's Daddy."

Andy tried to use his charm to defuse the situation. "I saw you drive up," he said to Shannon. "That is a beautiful car. It's a Mustang, right? Are you going to take your old man out for a ride? I wouldn't mind borrowing..."

"My old man has his own Mustang," she said icily. "And the only thing I'd ever loan you is used toilet paper."

"Mom, what stupid thing have you done now?" she asked. The intensity in her glare stunned me. Shannon was so much like Dale that unlike her older siblings, I knew that I would not be able to bullshit her.

"Dale, hit Mom, so she left him," said Lauren. "He threw her out of the house with nothing but the clothes on her back."

"Bullshit," spat Shannon. "You sound ridiculous, Lauren. Every time the two of them get into an argument, he goes out for a drive in his Mustang and then comes back and gives her whatever she wants. And you've seen it happen that way as many times as I have. You just sound stupid!"

"Look at her," yelled Lauren. "Get your head out of your ass, sis. Mom is miserable."

"I can see that, Lauren," said Shannon. "I also don't think it's a coincidence that she's hurt or upset and HE'S here." She pointed at Andy.

Andy who had been moving closer to Shannon took that opportunity to reach for her.

"You're upset, Honey," he said. "I think you need a hug." Before he could touch her, Shannon leaped straight backwards several feet and snagged a nasty looking stun gun from her bag.

"If you take one more step near me, I'll fry your ass," she hissed.

Andy was clearly shocked. "I'm your father young lady," he yelled. "I will not allow that kind of disrespect."

"Sarah, why are you so angry at me?" he asked.

"First off, my name is Shannon, not Sarah," she said. "And you seem to have forgotten something else beside that. I know first-hand what a piece of shit you are. Lauren and Jeff are older than I am. They were already going to school and away from the house all day. But I saw you hit her. The two of you were arguing and you balled up your fist and punched her in the face, like she was a man."

"Sa...Shannon, you have to understand ... we were young. We drank a lot. It was a bad time. Men get..." he said.

"What the hell do you know about being a man?" she asked. "Men get off of their asses and get jobs to support their families. Did you ever have a job?"

"Men don't beat on their wives and then run away and leave her and their kids to fend for themselves," she said. "At least my Daddy doesn't."

"Shannon," he said reaching for her again. He stopped dead in his tracks as she pushed the button and the stun gun crackled loudly. A jagged bolt of electricity shot from one terminal to the next. He jumped back just in time to avoid her electrocuting him.

"Bitch!" he yelped.

"Asshole," she shot back. Then without taking her eyes off of him or putting down the stun gun, she spoke to me.

"Mom, what really happened?" she asked.

"It wasn't supposed to happen," I began. "Your Dad came home early. He never does that. Why was he home so early?"

"Because today is your anniversary and he was going to surprise you by taking you on a cruise," she spat. I looked at her and saw that she was telling the truth.

"Oh Nooo!" I screamed. I felt even worse. My knees buckled under me and it was all I could do not to vomit.

"So what happened?" she asked. I noticed that Lauren was also looking at me with a pained expression on her face. Mindy's look was more like disgust.

"He found me in our bed ... with your father," I said quietly.

"So that's why he hit you?" asked Lauren. "Because you cheated on him with the guy who used to beat you?"

"Lauren, Honey, Dale didn't hit me. He never has. He just made Andy and me leave. I need to..." I began.

"Can you blame him?" asked Lauren. "Mom you have to do something to make it up to him. I mean he supported you and us for a long time. You could have found a better way to break it to him that you and our father are back together."

"Uh, hold on just a minute," said Andrew. "Maybe you should get the kids out of here before we talk."

"Andrew," said Mindy.

"Honey, you can call me Dad," he said. "I know you're my daughter in law. But I feel like you're just another one of my daughters."

"Okay, Dad," she said. Her voice dripped sarcasm. "Say goodnight to your granddaughters."

"Goodnight," he said.

"Goodnight who?" she asked. "You've been around them for about three hours now. I've told you their names several times. You've also heard everyone else speak to them. What are your grand daughters' names?"

He just stared at her stupidly. "What's my name?" she asked.

"I've been away for a while," he sputtered. "So what! I don't know anyone's God damned name. What does that prove?"

"I just wanted my husband to know that," she said. She grabbed her daughters' hands in hers and took the girls out onto the porch.

"Look," he said. "You guys have the wrong idea, here. Your mother and I are NOT getting back together. I'm not staying. I'm just in town to meet up with someone I met on the internet. I'm just not the family type. You guys, more than anyone else should know that."

"Then why did you...?" asked Jeff. He too was shocked and beginning to become upset.

"You ruined her life," said Lauren. "Look at her. She looks like a balloon with the air let out of it. She was finally happy and you ruined it for her."

"I didn't ruin anything," he spat. "I don't want her. I don't want to mess anything up. I just stopped by like I always do when I'm in town. It ain't my fault that he came home early."

"You stopped by for what?" asked Lauren, standing up. "You just said that you don't want her. So why would you stop by?"

"I just wanted some pussy," he said. "We're all adults here. Your mom has always been really good in the sack. And she was always willing. I think it was because I was her first. And then there's the fact that we made three babies together, so we..."

"So you just stopped by to fuck her like she was some whore?" asked Lauren.

"Well, she is a grown woman," he said. She could have said no. But she ain't never been the type to turn anyone down."

"Fuck you!" screamed Lauren. Then I saw it. I would never have expected for Shannon to be the one defending Andrew, but she did.

"Lauren, calm down," said Shannon. "He didn't force her. Mother has to bear some responsibility for this. You guys just have to work out what happens now."

"What do you mean "WE" have to?" asked Lauren. "What about you?"

"I'm outta here," said Shannon. "Someone has to try to make my Daddy feel better too. Someone has to go and calm him down and make sure that he doesn't do anything dumb. Mom was his whole world. He's treated her like a damned princess for twelve years. Somebody has to be there for him too. And that's me."

"Maybe I should come with you," I said. "I have to tell him that this didn't mean anything. It was just sex. I still want to try to make our marriage work. I need him. I love him," I said.

"Maybe in a few days, Mom," she said. My own daughter looked at me with an expression on her face that clearly suggested that she had no intention of ever letting me anywhere near her father again.

"Andrew ... sorry we got off on the wrong foot," she said. "I have to go. I have no idea whether or not I'll see you again so if you're going to hug your youngest daughter it had better be now." Shannon is a really pretty girl and when she smiled at him and held out both arms, Andrew stepped into them and hugged her.

As he stepped between her arms, Shannon reached behind her and got her stun gun off of the table. She timed it perfectly. Just before he made contact with her, she pressed the device against his upper arm.

There was a small flash of light and Andrew went down to the floor. His limbs jerked uncontrollably. He didn'teven have enough control over his body to yell. While he was on the floor, Shannon slapped him several times. She was going to kick him in the nuts but Jeff stopped her.

"Shannon, you going to jaildoesn't make any of this better," he told her.

"Jeff, get your head out of your ass. This bastard is no hero. And he's no kind of father to any of us. Have you seen the way you love your kids and take care of them? Could you just walk away and leave them?"

"Of course not. I'd die first," said Jeff.

"Who do you think you learned that from?" she asked. "It sure as hell wasn't that turd on the floor. I can't stay in this house with that asshole while the man who raised me and gave me my sense of values is somewhere, alone and suffering."

I'm not sure if she did it on purpose or not, but I did see Shannon smile as she stepped on Andrew's hand while walking to the door. A few moments later and we heard the sound of her car starting up and then she was gone.

Mindy came in right after Shannon left. "Jeff, Honey, I love you," she said. "I'm sorry about all of this. Your Mom can sleep on the couch for a few nights, but I want him out of my house as soon as he can get up. I don't want him around the girls. And they don't like him."

"Thanks Mindy," I said. "But I'm going to give Dale a few hours to calm down and then I'm going home to work this out with him. He's angry right now, but he'll forgive me." They all looked at me as if I had taken a break from reality.

* * * * * *

Dale

Isat there staring at an unopened bottle of scotch. I'm mostly a beer drinker. I rarely, if ever have the stomach or the taste for harder liquor.

But I was debating whether or not to change that. With my life falling apart all around me, it seemed as if the bottle was talking to me.

I reviewed what I had done after the incident. I had contacted the lawyer that we always used for family issues. I had him working on the papers even at that moment. He had been shocked out of his mind, but I don't think he was nearly as broken up as I was.

Luckily for me, it was a Friday. I had planned on burning some steaks on the grill and spending the weekend with Brenda and our daughter Shannon. Maybe if I was lucky the other kids and the grand kids might drop by too.

Suddenly, a wave of pain shot over me. I realized that by losing Brenda, I lost everything. By losing Brenda, not only would I no longer be a husband, I would no longer be a father, or a grandfather either.

It just seemed so unfair. I hadn't done anything wrong and I was going to lose everything. I had done everything I could for this family for as long as we'd been together, but now I would lose my kids and my grandkids because of something Brenda did.

Suddenly, I saw the entire picture. My last twelve years had all been one huge cosmic joke. I had busted my ass for nothing.

I almost felt like crying. Then I felt someone wrap their arms around my neck. She kissed my cheek and then looked at the bottle on the table.

"What's that for?" she asked.

I didn't say anything. She snatched the bottle and opened it.

"Shannon, you're not much of a drinker," I said.

"Neither are you," she smirked. "So there's no reason for either one of us to start now."

"So you don't consider losing everything, a reason?" I asked.

"Daddy, you didn't lose anything," she said.

"You're right," I said. "I was really just renting."

She looked at me as if I had totally confused her. She sat down across from me and took my hand.

"Talk slowly, Daddy," she said. "I had a Physics test this afternoon. If I try to figure things out, I start looking for equations."

"Well, when I woke up this morning, I thought I had a wife, kids, and grandkids. I thought I had a wonderful life. But it turned out that none of those things really belonged to me. They were all Andrew's things and I was just maintaining them until he came back for them."

She looked at me and shook her head. "Cars and Physics," she said.

It was my turn to look at her as if she was speaking another language.

"Cars aren't perfect," she said. "You taught me that. When something goes wrong you just troubleshoot things until you find the bad parts. You replace the bad parts and you're back on the road. In physics you look at the problem, figure out what you're looking for, find an equation that gives you what you need and then you plug and chug to get the answer."

"But all of the answers come up Andrew," I said.

"You guys are Andrew's kids not mine. And when it all comes down to it, he was Brenda's first. Apparently that means he'll always be her first choice."

"Well ... Mom never was the sharpest knife in the drawer," she laughed. "Okay, maybe I over simplified things. Maybe this is like the stock market."

"Remember when you started that online investment account for me? You put in 200 dollars and the market went up and after only a couple of days I had 250 dollars. I was sure that by the end of the year, I would have a half a million dollars. Then the market took a dive and I only had 112 dollars. Daddy the market is subject to changes. Maybe you still have the things you thought you had. But maybe you just don't have as much."

I looked across at her. Shannon was the one I would miss the most. And I told her so. She had made me smile as usual.

"Daddy, where am I going that you'll need to miss me?" she asked. "I stopped by Jeff's house and listened to what was going on. This is awful for everyone, but I don't think you're as bad as you think. Mindy doesn't like Andrew so you haven't lost your daughter in law. Ashley and Misti don't like him so you haven't lost your grandkids. Lauren is on the fence. And so is Jeff surprisingly. Even Mom realizes that she fucked up. And you will never, ever lose me. I shot him with my stun gun!"

"Why?" I asked her.

"It was a case of mistaken identity," she smiled. "He thought I was HIS daughter. I had to shock some sense into him. Some people think that all you have to do to be a father is have sex with the mother and then run."

I hugged her then. "So what are we doing for dinner?" she asked.

Shannon and I had a quiet dinner at home. We ordered a pizza and watched a movie. She woke me up the next morning and immediately got my mind off of things by suggesting that we go up to our cottage at the lake. It was a good idea. But we were going to get a late start because we needed to hit the market for food to take up with us.

Before we left for the market the phone rang. Shannon answered it and handed the phone to me after saying yep a couple of times. I shook my head to tell her that I didn't want to talk to anyone. She insisted on handing it to me.

"Hello," I said.

"Hey Dad, I know you're probably still upset about what happened yesterday, but I have a problem," she said. It was my daughter in law, Mindy.

"Ashley and Misti are really confused and upset. They're kids they don't understand what's going on. To tell you the truth, I barely understand what's going on. But I think seeing you would make them feel better."

"Shannon and I were going up to the lake today," I said.

"Great," she said. "I'll bring sun block. Dad, you do remember that I'm a vegetarian, right? What time are you picking us up?"

"In about an hour," I said. I was still smiling when Shannon came back, dressed in shorts and a top.

"Dad, there's going to be three of us," she said. "Lauren wants to come too. She's kind of messed up. I told her that today would be a break from the whole situation and we would all agree not to mention it."

"We're gonna have to drive the Jeep," I said. "Mindy and the girls are coming too."

We had a great afternoon. I took my granddaughters out on the boat. Mindy watched them playing and swimming in the shallow water near the cottage while I got on the grill. After a very late lunch both girls were exhausted and full. They fell asleep on the sofa in the living room.

"I understand Shannon's rules for today," Mindy told me. "But no matter how this plays out, you're their grandpa."

As we drove home, with everyone except me asleep, my thoughts caught up to me. Before that moment, I had been so busy doing things that the real impact of what I had lost hadn't really hit me.