The Void Bunny

[anonymous] I think she's in shock lol

[WDeckard has donated $3000]

The chat was exploding.

[WDeckard has donated $4000]

Tears sprung to my eyes. I was just a small-time streamer. Why was he doing this?

12,000 viewers.

"I'm sorry," I said, blinking back the tears. "I'm just in shock. Am I dreaming?"

[WDeckard has donated $5000]

[WDeckard] Dream big, Bunny.

[WDeckard has left the chat]

A lot of the viewers dipped, probably leaving with the game developer to witness his next donation. Still, 1,200 viewers remained.

Wade Deckard had just donated exactly $15,000, the highest limit of donation before it became taxable. He was apparently familiar with how everything worked.

"Guys, I'm gonna be right back," I said, taking off my headset. I stumbled out of my chair, pried the door open, and fell into the hallway, breathing hard as I clutched my chest. Fifteen thousand fucking dollars! That would pay rent for almost a year. Upgrades to my motorcycle. Bills. Food on the table. Fewer hours at Knockers!

I somehow picked myself up and made it to the kitchen. After getting a beer from the fridge, I chugged it down. The last two gulps kind of burned, but I didn't care. The burn was worth it to get drunk faster. As fast as possible, please.

I looked at my reflection in the steel fridge. Pink hair, black lace bunny ears, sexy black chemise, thigh-high stockings, six-inch heels. I couldn't be Kindra right now. I was The Void Bunny.

It was time to put on a show.

—

I played Moondusk Hollow for a total of nine hours.

I didn't follow the main storyline too much, instead, concentrating on the side quests and exploring the world. I had The Void Bunny perform her queenly duties, start up farms that she personally nurtured and harvested herself, sent her to the mines to mine for dark artifacts and resources, and even had her go into the dark forest on a side quest where she passed by the tower that belonged to the dark wizard. I'd sent her to the front door, even knocked on it, but the wizard wasn't home.

[galagirl] omg what are you doing?!

"Just checking if he's home," I said with a little giggle.

[anonymous] girl you tryna die?

"If you're new, then you've probably never heard me say this but..."

[felony265] no retreat. no surrender!

[staffsgt1987] No retreat, no surrender!

[uwuYAS] NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER

I laughed. "No retreat, no surrender!"

It was something I always said when faced with a particularly hard level or boss fight. I never gave up. That was kind of my saying.

I completed my quest, harvested a shit ton of lettuce, enough to feed a village, and checked the royal coffers. I had a few million already.

[anonymous] damn, WD should have stuck around to see u play

Wade Deckard didn't come back to my stream, but I hadn't expected him to. I did, however, get an additional 3,000 viewers that joined over the course of the night to watch me play, probably people who'd seen Wade's tweet.

"Visting @TheVoidBunny's stream next! Come join me on @Gaminar using the link below:"

I retweeted it, adding "Thank you so much, @WDeckard"

Nine hours. Jesus Christ.

"Okay, guys, I think I'm gonna call it a night," I said, saving the game.

[felony265] aww have a good night bunny!!

Goodbyes and goodnights poured in through the chat. I smiled tiredly, and yawned, stretching to tease them. The chat buzzed, with staffsgt1987 donating one last $25. I started up a raid, picked another girl streamer I'd vetted in advance, and then sent my viewers to her before signing off for the night.

It was another damask-rose dawn. Beautiful, but hard on the eyes. I pulled down the blackout shade and closed the curtains before making my way to the bathroom. On my way there, I took off the six-inch heels, leaving them somewhere in the hall. When I got to the sink, I gripped the counter, looking into my reflection. My makeup was still perfect, but inside, I was in tatters.

Did I deserve $15,000 and the sudden jumpstart to my fifteen minutes of fame tonight?

Did I deserve to have anything good happen to me?

"Yes," I whispered as I grabbed a makeup-removing wipe. I rubbed The Void Bunny off, avoiding looking at myself again. After I'd used a cleanser to wash my face, applied my night cream, taken off my pink wig, untied my long black hair, and changed into my PJs, I finally felt a little better. I didn't know if The Void Bunny deserved $15,000 and fame, but Kindra Fallon, the girl who struggled just to get by, surely did.

I got into bed, burrowing under my comforter, and grabbed my phone to check my social media. I had 1,300 new followers on Gaminar, and 800 on Twitter. My DMs were bursting with messages. I decided I'd answer them later, after sleep, but there was one message that I was dying to send. I went to his Twitter page.

Wade Deckard.

I clicked on the 'message' icon on his page.

[The Void Bunny] Hi Wade! I don't know if you remember me, but I'm one of the streamers you donated to tonight. I was really stunned when it was all happening, so I'm sorry if I didn't come across as grateful enough. Believe me, I am so, so overwhelmingly thankful to you for your kindness. Anyways, wish you the best success on your game launch! The game is amazing. I played it for 9 hours nonstop. Thanks again! Xo, Bunny

I locked my phone, slipped it under my pillow, and sighed, snuggling deeper into my comforter to fend off the freezing cold of the AC. I liked it this way, especially when it rained, where I could be as cozy as a mouse in its burrow. I closed my eyes, thinking about all that money that was sitting in my PayPal now, and shivered.

My phone buzzed.

"What now?" I muttered, slipping my hand under my pillow and pulling my phone out. I was about to put the phone on silent when I noticed the Twitter notification.

Wade Deckard

Hey, Bunny...

I immediately unlocked the screen and opened up the message.

[Wade Deckard] Hey, Bunny! Launch has been amazing, so thank you for that. Glad you enjoyed the game. Wade.

My hands flexed to respond, but I couldn't think up anything witty or cool to say. All I did was sit there and stare at the screen, reading his words over and over again. I almost said nothing, almost left him on 'read', but then a question came clawing out of me like a motherfreakin' monster.

[The Void Bunny] I am really thankful, but I just had one question for you. Why me, Wade?

A moment later, I saw the three dots, indicating that he was typing.

[...]

I held my breath.

[Wade Deckard] No retreat. No surrender.

My mouth fell open.

[The Void Bunny] You watch my streams?!

[Wade Deckard] Sometimes!

[The Void Bunny] But I've never seen your username in my chat?

[Wade Deckard] I watch anonymously.

I bit my lower lip as I felt my cheeks warm. I thought back to all the stupid things I'd ever said on my streams, all the dumb little rants I'd gone off on about video games, and hoped that I'd never said something that would've applied to his game.

[Wade Deckard] Still there?

[The Void Bunny] Yeah, just rethinking my life choices right now lol. I've said a lot of pretty stupid stuff on my streams.

[Wade Deckard] Nah don't sweat it. I'm a fan because you're honest and you're yourself.

I fidgeted. That was the very opposite of the truth. What was I supposed to say?

[The Void Bunny] You're a fan?

[Wade Deckard] Yup :) You keep things real, you play really well and you're entertaining and funny as hell.

I blushed in the darkness, which was silly considering I knew nothing about this guy. He was a mystery, an enigma, and I was curious... achingly curious.

[The Void Bunny] Why are you so secretive?

[Wade Deckard] I'm just trying to keep the focus on the game. Not really all that secretive.

[The Void Bunny] I totally understand wanting to be a *little* secretive. Like, I'm not actually a person dressed as a bunny who sits around wearing lingerie all day. I mean, you sort of know what I look like in real life, but you also don't.

[Wade Deckard] Yeah, it's a persona. I get it. I have one too.

[The Void Bunny] It's different though. Everyone in the world knows your real name.

[Wade Deckard] Not even close.

[The Void Bunny] Wade Deckard isn't your real name?

[Wade Deckard] Nope. I picked Wade because of Deadpool and Deckard because I love Blade Runner lol

[The Void Bunny] Are you anything like them?

[Wade Deckard] I wish! I think I'm pretty boring. All I do is code all day and drink copious amounts of energy drinks

[The Void Bunny] You'll end up with a heart attack at... okay I don't know your age, but I'm assuming you're too young to be dying.

[Wade Deckard] I'm 26

Well, that certainly surprised me. I wasn't expecting him to be that young. Just five years older than me. And he'd already come out with his very own game. It was nuts.

[The Void Bunny] Definitely too young to be dying

[Wade Deckard] I'm Ben, by the way.

I hesitated for maybe a second, but then I was typing my reply. This was an invitation to be ourselves, no personas, no bunny ears. This was an opportunity for me to be myself.

[The Void Bunny] I'm Kindra. Nice to meet you, Ben :)

I thumbed through the pictures on my phone until I found the right one. A selfie I took while sitting on my motorcycle, grinning into the camera. It was the day I'd taken a ride down Pacific Coast Highway. I'd parked on the side of the road, eaten an egg salad sandwich, and decided to save the memory forever. I could almost smell the fresh ocean air and hear the cars as they whooshed by, the wind whipping my black hair all over. In the picture, it was just me; just Kindra.

Void Bunny, who?

I sent that picture to Wade. It was as 'me' as I could get.

[The Void Bunny] Here's me. The real me.

[Wade Deckard] Holy shit you're gorgeous

As if it had been struck by lightning, my heart jolted. I knew I was pretty. Both working at Knockers and being a streamer required me to be pretty, but there in that picture with my helmet head and sweat on my forehead and my hair a mess—that was gorgeous to him? It made me feel... validated. Like I wasn't invisible, like he could see me.

[The Void Bunny] Nahhhh

[Wade Deckard] Yeahhhh and you know it.

I began to type my response when he transferred a file. It took only a second to load, and then I was looking at a picture of Wade Deckard—Ben.

"Oh my god," I whispered, wiping the fingerprints off my screen for a better look at him. Chestnut-brown hair, mossy green eyes, a strong jaw with a dimpled chin, and a smile that could put all the lights of the City of Angels to shame. He was handsome.

[Wade Deckard] So this is me. The real person behind Wade Deckard.

[The Void Bunny] Wow, hi.

[Wade Deckard] Nice to meet you!

[The Void Bunny] So now that we're acquainted, will you at least let me know when you come to my streams?

[Wade Deckard] Sounds fair to me, but I don't think it'll be a good idea to come as WDeckard on Gaminar. I'll make another username.

[The Void Bunny] What'll it be? Just so I know.

[Wade Deckard] Give me a minute. Let me make it and I'll tell you.

I burrowed myself deeper under my covers, swiping up the conversation to view his picture again. The gaming community was dying to see his face, and here, after one short conversation, he was sharing it with me. He'd taken a chance on me, trusting me with his identity. I would keep his secret.

[Wade Deckard] Okay, my new username is bencodes10

[The Void Bunny] bencodes10? What's the story behind it?

[Wade Deckard] Well, as you know, Ben's my real name. I like to code. And the numbers 1 and 0 are a language I speak well.

I laughed.

[The Void Bunny] You're kind of a nerd :P

[Wade Deckard] Says the girl who still plays Halo 2.

[The Void Bunny] It's the best Halo game and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise

[Wade Deckard] I'm personally into Combat Evolved... Don't fight me.

[The Void Bunny] Santa Monica Pier. Next Friday. 5 PM. FIGHT ME

[Wade Deckard] You're on. I'm going to head to bed now (it's six in the morning!) but I WILL SEE YOU THERE

[The Void Bunny] Bring your A-game

[Wade Deckard] You bring yours. You'll need it.

I giggled under the covers. He was pretty funny, at least to me anyway.

[The Void Bunny] Goodnight Ben

[Wade Deckard] Goodnight, Kindra

—

"Duncan, you're shorting me."

He looked up from his computer, a sly smile crossing his lips. He gestured to the seat across from him in his cramped office on the second floor of the restaurant. I reluctantly took a seat.

"Shorting you how?" he asked, as if he didn't know.

"I have last week's timecard right here. Forty-six and a half hours. You only paid me thirty-nine."

"You kept missing your lunch hour before the fifth hour," Duncan said almost casually. "I'm docking your pay to make up for the labor law violation fine."

"Pretty sure that isn't legal, Duncan," I said, crossing my arms. Fuck, why did I have to fight for everything in this life? I couldn't even get paid for the hours I worked? Wasn't I owed at least that much?

"It's in the employee handbook."

"That still doesn't make it legal," I said stiffly. "Look, Duncan, I don't get my ass pinched by old dudes all day just to be shorted on my pay. I work hard and you know I do."

"Who approved your overtime?" he asked, ignoring what I'd said completely.

"You did, Duncan."

"What proof do you have of that?"

I tried not to cry. "You literally told me to stay late so many times that I've lost count. Please don't lie to my face."

"Alright, I'm just fucking with you," he said with a grin, and opened up his drawer, producing an envelope. He'd fucking planned this?

"This wasn't funny," I said shakily.

"What are you willing to do for this money?" he asked, twirling the envelope between his fingers.

"I already worked for it."

"Yes, but what are you willing to do to get it from my hands into yours?"

"I don't want to play games," I said. My throat was closing up. My ears throbbed.

"You know what you have to do, don't you?"

A tear trickled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.

"Aw, don't cry," Duncan said immediately. "I'm seriously just fucking around. Here." He tossed the envelope across the desk. It landed in my lap.

"Thanks," I said, getting to my feet. "I quit."

"Kindra, wait—"

I stormed out of the room, rushed down the stairs, and shoved my way past customers to get to the back. Duncan was hot on my heels, grabbing me by the arm just as I reached the back door.

"Take your hands off her, boss," George, the chef, immediately said. George had three teenage daughters and he didn't play around when it came to looking out for women.

Duncan released me, and slicked his hair back from his forehead, breathing hard.

"Let's—Let's just slow down and talk about this, okay?" Duncan said.

"What's going on?" Garrison asked, walking over from the prep table.

"I quit," I said. "And I'm gonna go now, if that's alright with all of you."

"But why, chica?" Rosa asked, leaving her skillet to burn.

"Personal reasons," I said, shooting Duncan a look.

"You'll leave the restaurant short-staffed if you just leave like this," Duncan said. "You really wanna make life harder for them?"

Rosa came to stand beside me, putting an arm around me. "You in trouble, kid?"

I shook my head. "I-I don't..."

"We'll be alright, Kindra," George said. "You bounce if you need to."

"You guys really think you can handle it?" Duncan said, and then turned to me. "I didn't think you were the kind of person to leave your friends in a hard place. Are you?"

I glanced at the faces of my coworkers. They looked tired, sweaty, and almost defeated.

"No," I said, sighing. I adjusted my skirt, smoothed down my hair with my fingers, and shot Duncan another look.

Getting a $15,000 donation didn't mean shit. I needed that nest egg, which meant that, unfortunately, I still needed this job.

No retreat.

No surrender.

—

Whenever the berries were ripe at the strawberry farm in Davenport, Daddy would put me on the back of his motorcycle and we'd ride down Highway 1 to go pick them fresh. If you went during June or July, you could pick olallieberries too, which were Daddy's favorite. We'd pick up a basket, fill it to the brim, and Daddy would pay cash, the bills crisp from his wallet, fluttering in the breeze. With the ocean across the street, we'd walk down across the strawberry field to the little store. There, he'd buy a bunch of preserves for Mommy, and then a slice of pie each. Even though I was small and skinny, I could still finish an entire slice by myself. Sometimes I'd ask for another, and he'd buy it for me. I'd get a quarter way through before my tummy ached, and he'd laugh and finish the rest.

I was six, and it was my last summer with Daddy, but I didn't know it. The summer sun beat down on our heads, the scent of fresh strawberries and pie and salty ocean air filling our senses. We'd walked down to the beach. I was allowed to wade into the water as long as I didn't go too far. I wasn't a strong swimmer, and wouldn't be until I was about eight or nine. Daddy left before I ever swam out into deep water, out where it felt like the abyss would be somewhere beneath my feet, but I'd never feared the water. The ocean was a part of me, as if it was in my veins, and I couldn't possibly ever drown in it.

"Kindra, not too far," Daddy warned.

"Okay," I said, paddling farther into the water. I went as far as I was allowed to, and then I turned around. Daddy was talking to Holly Davis, a high schooler who sometimes babysat me. She'd just turned eighteen a month ago. I figured that was why she talked to Daddy so much; she was an adult talking to another adult, and that's what adults loved to do. Talk.

"Daddy! Watch me!" I kicked my legs and swirled around in a circle in the water, but when I looked back at the shore, he wasn't looking. He had a hand on Holly's arm. I squinted, trying to see if I could read their lips, but I couldn't. All I could see was Holly throwing her head back and laughing, as if Daddy had said the funniest thing in the world. My heart swelled with pride. He was pretty funny.

I played in the water for a while, but Daddy didn't even notice I was there. He was too busy talking to Holly. I swam deeper, even though I wasn't supposed to. I wondered if he would notice, if he'd scold me, or maybe he'd swim after me. Maybe he'd take off his leather jacket and his shirt and jeans and come into the water after me, which he sometimes did do when I begged. I was just toying with the idea of asking him to join me when Holly got on her tiptoes and kissed Daddy.

On the lips.

The water suddenly felt ice cold. Grown-ups kissed like that if they loved each other. Daddy was only supposed to kiss Mommy like that. I watched to see what he would do, but instead of pushing Holly away, he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her closer. There were people all along the beach, but no one we knew. There were just tourists that day. There was no one around to tell on them.

Except me.

—

The back of the restaurant smelled like garbage, but I was pretty used to it. I sat on my motorcycle, parked right by the rear door, and pulled my helmet on, buckling up the strap under my chin. I pulled the visor down, my breaths shallow. I was hiding my tears under the helmet. It had been a long day at the restaurant and I was ready to go home, shower, and then sleep with the AC on full blast. Except I couldn't really afford to. I only allowed myself to run the AC on nights where I streamed. Maybe I could make an exception now that I had $15,000 in my PayPal.