The Void Bunny

An ambulance passed by, sirens blaring, and I realized that I had to get out of here because life was just too fucking short. I decided that I wasn't going to go home. People were dying every day. I couldn't just live a worthless existence, working from one day until the next. I had to do more than exist; I had to live. I started up my motorcycle, sniffled, and headed out onto the street.

It took me twenty minutes to get to Venice. It was a good place to go and just walk. Blending in with all the weirdos on an eclectic oceanfront boardwalk was a good way to spend an evening. I had a lot of good memories here. Watching the bioluminescent plankton turn the water a neon blue, renting a bicycle and riding down between rows of palm trees, stopping for a burger at Hinano Cafe, catching the pink and purple sunset from the rickety pier, and dipping my toes in the water. I didn't have any friends outside of work, so there wasn't ever anyone to come to Venice with, but that was okay. The ocean had a way of never letting you feel lonely.

The lamps had all been lit. I parked in the parking lot, paid the meter, and made my way down the boardwalk. I grabbed a $3 ice cream sandwich and ate it as I walked. Everyone else was with their friends or lovers, but I had the ocean to my right, and it was as friendly as it had always been. I walked for an hour, up and down the boardwalk, and even once down the pier, before heading back to the parking lot. I hopped on my bike, got my helmet strapped on, and headed home.

With the ocean behind me, the loneliness crept back into my bones.

—

I was toweling my hair dry after a shower when Ben messaged me.

[Wade Deckard] Hi Kindra

I couldn't help smiling.

[The Void Bunny] Hey Ben

[Wade Deckard] I have a question for you.

[The Void Bunny] Shoot

[Wade Deckard] Do you go to any gaming conventions/tournaments?

[The Void Bunny] Not really.

[Wade Deckard] Do you want to?

[The Void Bunny] I've always kind of wanted to.

[Wade Deckard] Okay cool. I'm inviting you to one. There's a gaming tournament being hosted by Heylo Games this Saturday. I know it's super last-minute, but hear me out. Heylo is rolling out a new game and they need some streamers to come stream live from the tournament. I could put you on the panel.

[The Void Bunny] Oh wow, that's a huge honor! I'd love that. Where is the convention?

[Wade Deckard] Las Vegas. Heylo will fly you out and pay for your hotel and food. Your stream will also be sponsored by them, so you'll get $5,000 for doing it. I know it's not a lot, but it's a really cool opportunity if you're interested.

[The Void Bunny] OMG are you serious?

[Wade Deckard] So... should I put your name down?

[The Void Bunny] YES!

[Wade Deckard] I'll DM you the details tomorrow. There's a contract, which you can have a lawyer look over if you want. Pretty standard stuff. Your only job is to show up, stream for a few hours, and then you're free to enjoy yourself at the afterparty.

[The Void Bunny] Thanks for thinking of me. This is such an amazing opportunity!

[Wade Deckard] No problem. You'll have a great time.

[The Void Bunny] Will you be there?

[Wade Deckard] I'm not sure yet. It depends on my workload.

[The Void Bunny] Oh okay

It was almost pathetic how disappointed I was. I kind of wanted to meet him. His handsome face flashed in my mind, and it made me feel ashamed. Why was I being so thirsty? He could have a girlfriend or wife for all I knew. He could do better than a poor girl washed up from a small town.

[Wade Deckard] So, how was your day?

[The Void Bunny] Long. I work as a hostess at a restaurant and the hours are crazy, but I did go to Venice afterward and that was nice.

[Wade Deckard] I prefer Dogtown but Venice is cool too.

My eyes bulged. Only locals knew the term Dogtown.

[The Void Bunny] You're from around here???

[Wade Deckard] LA, born and raised. I'm in the OC now though.

[The Void Bunny] We're almost neighbors lol I'm in East Hollywood. But I wasn't born and raised here. I'm from Davenport. It's a little beach town up north.

[Wade Deckard] I know Davenport. Shark Fin Cove right?

[The Void Bunny] You've been there?

[Wade Deckard] Yeah, my girlfriend and I stopped there last year on our drive up the coast.

Girlfriend. Well, it shouldn't surprise me. He was good-looking and successful. Why shouldn't he be taken?

[The Void Bunny] That's really cool. It's very nice there if you're only passing through.

[Wade Deckard] Boring otherwise?

[The Void Bunny] Very. Anyway, how was *your* day?

[Wade Deckard] It was good, thanks! I coded all day so my eyes are kind of dead right now. I'll probably head to bed soon.

[The Void Bunny] Working on a new game?

[Wade Deckard] No, just a patch for Moondusk Hollow. There are a few bugs to fix, and some features I couldn't add in time for launch. You should be able to increase your inventory size by the next update.

[The Void Bunny] Oh thank god! I was CONSTANTLY building chests to put stuff in.

[Wade Deckard] Sorry about that. Update should be out next week.

[The Void Bunny] It's cool! Looking forward to it. I'll let you catch some sleep then. Have a nice night, Ben!

[Wade Deckard] Thanks, Kindra. Sleep well.

I put my phone down, walked to my bed, and dropped down onto the center of it, sighing. The first guy that's even remotely interesting, and he's already taken.

—

"I really need this weekend off," I said, following Duncan into the kitchen. He was carrying empty plates to the back.

"Kindra, you know how this works. I don't have anyone to cover for you," he said, dumping the dishes into a sink. Our dishwasher, Kevin, shot him a look.

"But—"

"Find someone to cover for you and I'll think about it."

I sighed. There was only one other hostess that probably had hours available, and she had three kids. Sherry always had plans with them every weekend, so it was probably going to be a no. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and called her anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sherry. It's Kindra."

"Oh, hey. How are you, honey?"

"In a bind," I admitted.

"Duncan trying shit with you again?"

"No, it's not that," I said. "I have this tournament that I got invited to. It's like a huge honor, but it falls on a weekend."

"I might be able to cover for you," Sherry said. I heard a baby cry in the background. "Which weekend?"

"Um, this one..."

"Oh, that's really last minute," Sherry said, surprised. "I might be able to swing it. Let me call my husband and see if he's working this weekend, okay?"

"Okay."

I paced in the back while I waited for her to call me back. Duncan watched me as he chatted with Garrison about efficiency. Garrison was the fastest prepper I knew, but Duncan was always looking for an excuse to put someone down. I turned away and walked out the back door, out into the cool evening. The sky was a dark blue, purpling.

My phone rang.

"Hello?" I said, holding my breath.

"Okay, so Frank's not working this weekend, so you're in luck. I'll work your shift."

"Oh my god, Sherry, I love you! I owe you big time!"

"Yeah, you do," Sherry replied with a laugh. "So what kind of tournament is this?"

"A video game one," I said. "It's being held in Vegas. I'm flying down for the weekend."

"Sounds like it'll be a great time. Play a game of blackjack for me."

"I will!"

I was grinning as I got off the phone. I was going to Vegas!

—

Ben messaged me all the details for the event and got me in touch with the event organizer, a man named Ali Ahmed. He sounded really young on the phone, and super chipper as he got all my information and booked my flight for Friday night, two hours after I got off work. He also booked me a hotel room at The Bellagio, which, in my opinion, was the nicest hotel on the strip.

"Do you want a car rental or Uber credits?" Ali asked. He was furiously typing away in the background.

"I'll take the credits," I said. Moving around Vegas was a chore with a car. Just taking an Uber from one place to the next was way better if you were casino and bar hopping, which I fully planned on doing. Just because I was alone didn't mean I couldn't do things.

"Mmkay. I'll leave all the food vouchers for you at the hotel front desk. Did you have a chance to look over the contract?"

I'd skimmed it in the afternoon. "Yup."

"Okay, do you want to sign it while we're on the phone? I can email you a DocuSign."

"Sure."

I electronically signed the contract when I got the email. This was insane. I was just a small-time streamer. I had to pinch myself to believe that it was true.

"So, check-in at the convention center is at seven in the morning on Saturday. I know that's early, but there's a lot to do before the doors open. We'll be doing mic checks and have you do a quick play-through of a demo to make sure everything's working fine. Interviews with the press will be at ten, and the tournament begins at noon. The tournament lasts five hours. We'll keep you fed throughout the day. Do you have any special dietary needs or allergies?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Any special requests?"

"What do you mean by that exactly?"

"Well, for example, Kit Viper has to have one of those blue low carb Monsters every three hours, and Hendrix requires silk sheets for his bed. Anything we can do to make your stay better?"

"I drink grape Gatorades, beer, and some sugar-free Rockstars while I stream."

"Which beer?"

"Oh, uh... I don't know. I usually get whatever's cheapest."

"We're getting a case of Modelo Negra for the host."

"That works."

"Great."

Ali wrapped up the call with a few more questions and then told me he'd meet me at the convention center Saturday morning. As soon as I got off the phone, I messaged Ben.

[The Void Bunny] This is such a cool opportunity, Ben. Thank you so much!

[Wade Deckard] No problem. Hope you enjoy your time in Vegas!

My heart deflated.

[The Void Bunny] So you're not coming after all?

[Wade Deckard] I didn't say that.

[The Void Bunny] It would be nice to see a friendly face at the tournament.

[Wade Deckard] There'll be a bunch of friendly faces. People are really nice at these events.

[The Void Bunny] Even to girl streamers?

[Wade Deckard] I hadn't thought about that. I'm not sure, Kindra. I know the gaming community can be kind of toxic toward gamer girls.

[The Void Bunny] Oh. That's reassuring.

[Wade Deckard] I know it's not. I'm sorry.

I sighed and sat back in my pink Secretlab OMEGA gaming chair. It was comfortable, but I was feeling the very opposite at the moment.

[The Void Bunny] It'll be okay. I can look out for myself.

[Wade Deckard] I'll come to the tournament. You should have support.

[The Void Bunny] Really?

[Wade Deckard] Yeah. I'll make it work.

[The Void Bunny] You sure you can swing it? I know you have that patch to work on.

[Wade Deckard] You let me worry about that.

[The Void Bunny] I'm kind of nervous now lol

[Wade Deckard] Don't be. It'll be fun :)

[The Void Bunny] Will your girlfriend come to the tournament?

[Wade Deckard] No. We kind of broke up a few months ago.

My breath caught in my throat. This, I hadn't expected.

[The Void Bunny] I'm sorry to hear that.

[Wade Deckard] Thanks. It was for the best anyway. I was a pretty shitty boyfriend. I didn't have any time for her, and she deserved way better.

[The Void Bunny] I'm sorry.

[Wade Deckard] Nah, don't be. Not your fault I'm a shithead.

[The Void Bunny] Relationships are hard. You were working on your game. Shit happens, but that doesn't make you a shithead.

[Wade Deckard] I kind of needed to hear that tonight. Thank you.

[The Void Bunny] You okay?

[Wade Deckard] Yeah, just a little buzzed and feeling sorry for myself lol

I looked at the empty beer cans that lined my desk. I took a picture of it and sent it to him.

[Wade Deckard] Got you beat

He sent back a picture of his own desk. There were bottles upon bottles of some sort of IPA. He'd definitely drunk a lot more than me, but it wasn't like I was done for the night, so there was a possibility I'd surpass him yet.

[The Void Bunny] How are you still able to type?

[Wade Deckard] My entire life revolves around typing.

[The Void Bunny] Fair enough... I'm gonna go grab some more beers from the fridge. brb!

I got three more beers from the fridge and brought them to my room. I put them on my bedside table, turned off all the lights except for the neons, and got into bed.

[The Void Bunny] Okay back. I'm gonna have trouble typing in a little bit lol I'm already feeling a little buzzed too.

[Wade Deckard] Wanna talk on the phone?

I was just about to open up a beer. It fell from my hands, rolling onto the bedspread. Thankfully, unopened.

[The Void Bunny] Sure. Here's my number.

I typed out my number and sent it to him. Play it cool, Kindra.

A moment later, my cell rang. I picked up.

"Hello?" I said, trying not to sound nervous. I wasn't entirely sure if I succeeded.

"Hey, Kindra," said a deep, husky voice. "It's Ben."

"Thanks for clarifying," I said with a nervous laugh. Ugh. This was not going well. I was embarrassing myself.

By some miracle, he laughed. "You have a soothing voice," he said, and then immediately added, "Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't be on the phone."

"What? Why not?"

"Because I'm not on my best behavior when I'm drunk."

My cheeks were burning when I said, "Maybe I don't want you to be on your best behavior."

His breath hitched, making my stomach clench.

"You're kind of dangerous, you know that?" he slurred, his voice low and gravelly and delicious.

"I guess I'm not on my best behavior when I'm drunk either."

He chuckled. "Maybe I don't want you on your best behavior," he parroted.

"So you want me to be... bad?" I asked coyly.

Ben groaned. "Dangerous," he repeated.

"No retreat—"

"No surrender," he finished for me. "I really like that about your gameplay. You don't back down."

"It's not like I'm dying in real life, you know? I can always do the level over. If I'm going to do anything, it won't be half-assed. I'm always all-in."

"I watched you play Until Dawn once. Crazy shit, Kindra. You button-mashed your way through the quick time events on that game, and you somehow still beat it with all the characters alive."

I laughed. "I did not button-mash. I reacted accordingly, okay? It was a freaky fucking game."

"You're really good at what you do," Ben said. "Your reflexes are almost cat-like. I don't think I've ever seen you miss a button in a quick time event. The screen says 'press B to dodge', and you dodge within a millisecond. You're crazy good. You should consider a career in e-sports."

"I wouldn't even know how to begin to get into that," I said.

"Well, you're participating in an e-sports tournament on Saturday. If you enjoy it, I know some people..."

"Do you know everybody?"

"Nah, just some. I meet people all the time. It's a part of being in the gaming industry. You network where you can."

"I just play from my bedroom, Ben. I don't know anyone except the people I meet online."

"That's a start," he said. "After that, you meet them in real life, and they introduce you to the people they know, and suddenly you know a shitload of people."

"Shitload," I repeated, giggling.

"Am I in a shitload of trouble for using the word 'shitload'?"

"No. It's funny."

"I like your laugh," he said. "It's... never mind."

"Tell me."

"No, it's not appropriate," he said, laughing. "Falls into that 'dangerous' territory."

"What's so wrong with being a little dangerous?"

"Just is."

"Because?" I pressed.

"Because I like talking to you, Kindra."

"I like talking to you too... But what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," he said. "I'm really fucking drunk. Are you?"

"Almost there," I said, cracking open a beer and chugging it down.

"Slow down there, tiger," he said, and I could hear his grin.

"No retreat, no surrender," I said smugly.

In five minutes, the alcohol kind of hit me like a truck. The room was swimming, and I felt all the tension loosen and slip away. I giggled.

"What's so funny?" Ben asked. I heard him gulp down more beer.

"I'm drunk," I said simply.

Ben laughed. "What do we do now?"

"I dunno, make bad choices? Skinny dip?"

"Please don't talk about skinny dipping right now," he said, his voice suddenly hoarse.

"Why not?"

"Because along with being totally inappropriate while drunk, I also get—fuck, never mind. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."

"Horny? That's what you were gonna say, right?" I finished for him, laughing almost hysterically. I didn't even know why it was funny; it just was. God, I was so fucking drunk.

He sighed, then said, "Yeah. I'm sorry. It makes me feel like a complete creep."

"Don't be sorry. I'm the creep that said it out loud."

"You are not a creep."

"I'm something," I said. The alcohol blurred all the lines. "Horny, maybe."

And I was. His voice, deep and low, had entered my senses, sending heat spreading to every last inch of my body—including my poor, neglected pussy. I hadn't had sex in so long, and I didn't masturbate anywhere near enough to release all the tension that I carried with me every single day. And now I was talking to a guy that I was really starting to like and his voice was sexy and I was drunk and it just seemed like a good idea to tell him I was turned on.

I was going to be mortified in the morning.

"Kindra... fuck, you're hot," Ben said, his voice still rough. "But... I can't."

I felt as if I'd been seared. My heart beat erratically in the center of my chest, almost like it was thumping against metal, clanging against my ribs. Blood pulsed in my veins, and the sting of rejection rolled through me like a wave, crashing into me.

"Oh, um..."

"I'm sorry," Ben said. "I'm just—a shithead, you know? Things are kind of complicated right now."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "It-It's okay. It's totally cool."

"Friends?"

"Friends," I agreed, even though the word tasted like acid on my tongue. Why was this hitting me so hard? I barely knew him, and yet I'd kind of let myself want him... maybe a little too much. I'd stupidly thought that he felt the same way.

Stupid, stupid Kindra.

"When will you be in Vegas?" he asked, effortlessly changing the subject.

"Friday night," I said. "Around eight."

"Want to have dinner with me?" he asked, then added, "Just, like, a friendly dinner."

It was still stinging. Rejection sucked, but I put a smile on my face and agreed to meet him for dinner. Then I cracked open a beer, chugged it down, and blinked back the tears. It wasn't even about Ben anymore.

I was just tired of not being wanted.

"You okay? You've been a little quiet," Ben said, slurring his words. He was really far gone, but at least he was still trying to have a conversation with me. I was going to try too.

"Yeah," I said. "Just thinking about my dad."

"What's the story?"

"He left when I was six," I said, trembling. I slipped under the covers, grabbing another beer.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Ben said. "He missed out."

I drank my beer, sipping slowly this time. I needed to slow down or I was going to be sick.

"My dad was my favorite person," I said softly. "My mom always blamed me because I caught him kissing my babysitter. I-I told her, and she confronted him. They fought and he admitted he was planning to leave her anyway. Then he actually did it. Just walked out on us. He got on his motorcycle and rode away and I haven't seen him since."

"I'm sorry."