The Wedding

I did eventually talk to my doctor who referred me to a specialist who in turn started me on hormones. It wasn't all plain sailing, my mother refused to accept what I wanted to do, but could do little to stop me. She became a sullen reminder of the ignorance and prejudice that still exists, but at least let me stay in the house. What hurt most was that she told people she had two daughters and a son. Sophie was my rock. After we had made up following my outburst about Marcus, she was incredibly supportive, often fighting my corner with our mother. Caroline didn't seem to care so long as I could babysit Naomi for her.

Gradually and sometimes painfully it all came together. This isn't an easy path to take, and there were some bad times, but I had begun a journey that I so wanted to finish. It was sometimes two steps forward and one back. I have been beaten up twice, been abused and insulted by ignorant people who don't understand the anguish of someone in my position. I have been called so many names over the years; tranny, faggot, cocksucker, pervert, and a good few more, and trust me they all hurt. I was sometimes tempted to go back to pills, but I stuck it out. I began to live as a woman full time and met some friends who know about me and support me. I even had a couple of boyfriends, but neither of them stayed around for long.

Even so, I had lots and lots of sex. In the group I joined sex was a commonplace. It was casual, and it didn't mean much emotionally; it fulfilled a pleasurable need, and that was it. I learnt how to suck a cock and found out I loved to be fucked. I was a natural bottom, and although I tried it a couple of times, I didn't like fucking someone else. I was happy to be the recipient of someone else's cock most of the time. I even did a bit of escort work from time to time. Well, escort work is the fancy name for it; I would suck men's cocks for money and occasionally let someone I liked fuck me. I don't feel guilty about it; it was a part of my life for a while, and it kept the wolf from the door long enough for me to get myself sorted out.

I continued working at the department store, made supervisor and then manager of the beauty hall of all places. Thanks to my genes and the hormones I am able to pass without a problem, and people now often mistake Sophie and I for sisters. It's taken five years and my biggest decision remaining is when to go for SRS. I've put it off for a while, and I know I must make my mind up soon. I learnt to live my life as a woman quietly and happily by myself most of the time.

Ironically, after Marcus and another abusive relationship, Sophie gave up on men, met a girl in a gay bar and is now happily living with her. They started their own spa business which is doing well and she occasionally gives me a freebie treatment. One day not long ago I was in having a facial when she flopped down on a chair next to me looking upset. I had just had the mask applied, so she waved a newspaper under my nose and showed me a picture of a smiling couple. It took me a few seconds to focus before I felt my heart lurch. One of the people in the picture was Marcus, I would never forget that smile. I looked at Sophie with as puzzled a look as I could manage wearing a facial mask, and she waggled the paper under my nose. Look again, she said.

This time I looked at both of the people in the picture. Marcus had his arm round another man, a white, nerdy looking guy with glasses, and my eyes widened and my mouth dropped open as I read the picture caption. 'Mr Marcus Flood has announced that he will be marrying Mr Terence Hancock at the Registrar's Office on 22 June.' I looked back at Sophie, who gently closed my mouth with a finger beneath my chin. Come and see me when you're finished, she said and vanished.

My mind was whirling as I sat back and thought about the picture. Sophie had resisted every attempt over the years to get her to tell me what had had happened between her and Marcus. None of my business was her reply every time I asked. For five years she had kept it a secret, and now I could guess only too well what had caused it. I thought hard but I couldn't remember anything that would have made me think Marcus was gay. He was a nice guy who listened and talked to me and had been my friend, was all I could remember.

I had to wait for the mask to come off before I could scurry off to Sophie's office. She was sitting in her chair looking out of the window with a glass of wine in her hand. She waved her hand towards the mini fridge where she always kept a couple of bottles. I helped myself to a large glass and came round and knelt beside her. She had a faraway look in her eyes, and I think she had been crying a little. I put my arms around her and she patted me on the back. She said, I'm sorry, Sammy. I looked at her and she blushed. I should have told you sooner, but it was so embarrassing I couldn't tell you. She hugged me and then told me what had happened.

She said that everything had been going so well between them. She felt she had found someone she could trust who treated her with respect. She had just come out of an abusive relationship so the fact that he didn't make a lot of demands for sex came as a relief to her. She said he had seemed a bit on edge in the week before he came to see me, but she didn't think too much of it. She paused, and I held her hand as she went on. The day after he had seen me, he asked to see her and told her that he had met someone else. If hit her like a hammer and she went crazy, demanding to know who the girl was. He finally told her that it wasn't a girl, but a man.

She thought he was making it up, but he finally convinced her that he always thought he was bi, but he had met this guy and he said it was the real thing. She slapped him and told him to get the fuck away from her. She paused, looked away from me and said, she was so sorry but she also told him to stay away from me.

I felt the blood rushing through my ears and I thought I was going to faint.

She took a deep breath and said she felt awful, thought it had been for the best. I was so vulnerable at that time, and she feared he would prey on me. She reached out and held my hand. A few years ago I would have thrown a fit and stormed out, but over the past few years Sophie had stood by me and had been my strongest supporter. I think I had grown into a better person too, and I couldn't blame her for something she had done in the heat of anger. I dropped to my knees and hugged her, I told her not to worry, I understood.

She cried, I cried, and we drank the rest of the bottle of wine. We hugged and told each other what total shits men were, but, all I could think of was Marcus smiling out from that photograph.

I went home and lay down in my room. I needed to keep away from mother, one of her snide remarks would have set me off like a bomb. Naomi knocked on my door and asked if I was alright. Caroline was almost out of control these days and Naomi was staying with mother and I almost as much as with her own mother. I told her to come in and she crawled onto the bed and gave me a cuddle. There is nothing like a cuddle from a child to make you feel better. She was growing fast, bright and funny and never failed to cheer me up. I listened to her read, and we giggled about some of the stupid things the boys got up to at school.

With that laser like directness children possess she asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I told her that I liked being on my own, and it gave me plenty of time to be with her. She nodded gravely and said she understood and that it was fine with her. I tickled her until she cried out for me to stop and we went to have something to eat. We ate in the same room where Marcus and I had sat the last night I had seen him. I realised he must have waited to break up with Sophie until he had given me the information he had found for me. I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss he had given me on the way out that night.

I slept badly, I couldn't settle with the image of Marcus flitting in and out of my dreams. I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to be done. He had made his decision, and that was that. Even so, a small nagging thought began to slip through my mental defences. What if Sophie hadn't told him to stay away from me? What might have happened if he and I had kept in touch or even continued to meet? It was nonsense I told myself, it didn't happen and I should leave well alone. But, but...

I finally slept, but something must have been stirring away in my subconscious because I awoke the next morning with a crazy idea in my mind. I would go to the wedding and see what would happen. I told myself I would be going there to celebrate the marriage of a man to whom I owed a big debt. Even if he never knew I was there, my gesture might pay back a tiny part of that debt.

I didn't tell anyone else of my plan. It would have upset Sophie, and my mother, well, we hardly spoke anymore. As long as I stayed out of her way I was happy. It was easy to find the date of the ceremony and the Registrar's Office was easy to get to. It was set for a Saturday two weeks away, and I made sure I had the day off by switching a shift, then all I had to do was to choose my outfit. I planned to keep in the background and just watch, but I was determined to look my best. I booked a makeover for the morning which left me plenty of time to get to the Registry Office in time.

I had my eye on a lovely two piece linen suit at work matched with a pair of killer heels. Everything was set, and I was anxiously counting the days to the big day. It was late on the Friday evening when Caroline called me in a panic. She had met yet another man who she was sure would be the one for her, definitely a triumph of hope over experience in my opinion, but you had to give her points for persistence. The problem was he wanted to take her out on the Saturday to the races of all places, and she had no one to look after Naomi. Mother was out with the church yet again and Sophie was away for the weekend with her girlfriend.

She whined and whined to me over the phone that if I didn't look after Naomi then it would be my fault if she didn't land this guy. I thought she was delusional about men, but there were very few times I could turn down looking after Naomi. It occurred to me there might be a way. I told Caroline I would look after Naomi but only if she could get her here tonight as I had an early start the next day. Caroline was so desperate she agreed and brought Naomi over an hour later. Naomi was excited to spend the night and slept next to me after we had a takeaway dinner.

I told her that we would be going on a trip the next day and it was to be a secret that only she and I would share. Early the next morning we set off to the salon where I had my makeover. To keep Naomi happy, I got them to give her a little makeover too, her first, and she loved it. I could tell she was going to be a princess. We stopped at a kids shop and bought her a pretty new dress and shoes. She announced I was definitely her favourite aunt.

We went home to get changed and just in time, we jumped into a cab and headed off to the Registry Office. It wasn't a pretty place, and there were two or three wedding groups milling around outside when we got there. I told Naomi an old friend of mine was getting married but we might not be able to meet him. We waited outside as one bride and groom emerged and went on their way. Is that them asked Naomi, and I told her my friend would be next. There was a large group of people, both black and white mingling together so I guessed they would be for Marcus and his husband.

A few minutes later, the two of them emerged to loud cheers from the crowd. They embraced and kissed on the steps of the office to even more cheers and whoops. Naomi tugged my hand and said Aunt Sammy, they're boys and they're kissing, I shushed her and told her they loved each other so it was alright, just like Auntie Sophie and her friend. She nodded, happy that it was OK if they loved each other. I watched Marcus smiling and laughing with his arm round Terrance, so I didn't see exactly what happened next. I think Naomi must somehow have recognised Marcus because she slipped her hand from mine and before I could grab her she was running off towards him. Kids can run quickly between and under adults and I couldn't get to her before she reached him. She stood in front of the couple and looked up at them. Marcus looked down, and I heard him say hello, and ask her who she was. Naomi looked back to find me, but couldn't see me and the next thing I heard was her telling him her name was Naomi.

He smiled and then I saw a puzzled look slowly form on his face. He looked around and then back down at Naomi, trying to work out why she seemed familiar. It was at that moment that I managed to push to the front of the group just as a small gap opened up, and I hissed at her to come back to me. She turned round, pointed to me and said that's Aunt Sammy. Marcus followed Naomi's pointing finger and saw me. The look on his face was priceless as he recognised me, his mouth opened in surprise and I think he took a step backwards. It was if he had seen a ghost.

He whispered something to his husband, took Naomi's hand and led her over to me. I didn't know what to do or say, I had not planned for this. I managed a smile as he stood in front of me, still not quite able to believe what he was seeing. He asked if it was really me. I nodded, and he smiled that killer smile of his and wrapped his arms around me. I saw Terence look over at us with a frown on his face as he talked to someone. Sammy, I am so pleased to see you, I heard him say, you look wonderful, and this is little Naomi. He let me go still smiling and hugged Naomi, who looked embarrassed at the attention she was now receiving.

I took her hand back, and he said Sammy, why, how, oh God there are so many questions. I was beginning to tear up and said congratulations, and that he and Terence looked lovely together. He turned round to Terence and waved him over. He said he wanted him to meet Sammy and Naomi, two old friends of his. Terence shook my hand and smiled at Naomi. He said he was pleased to see us and he was glad we could come. Congratulations, I told him, but he looked over my shoulder and replied thank you, but there was someone he must meet and bye.

Marcus took my hands and aid that I looked wonderful. He was so pleased to see me and that there were a million questions he wanted to ask me. How did I find out about this? Power of the press, I told him, it was a lovely photograph. He grinned as he said that Terence was lovely wasn't he. He then threw me completely by asking if we could meet up, he wanted to find out all about me.

That stopped me in my tracks. I really hadn't thought this through. I hesitated, and he said he would give me his number and if I wanted to chat to give him a call. He grabbed a pen from someone and wrote his number on my hand. The touch of his fingers sent a tremor through me. He had to dash he said, but it had been great to see me. He was being waved at by Terence, and he leant forward and kissed me on the cheek, just as he had five years previously. He walked over to Terence who threw a look in my direction, obviously asking Terence who I was.

Naomi and I took a cab back home and on the way I transferred his number to my phone. I had no intention of using it, but it was a connection to him so I didn't want to lose it. Naomi was chatting all the way back, so I didn't have time to think about it all until later. It was only when I was in bed, unable to sleep, that I got to think about what had happened. No harm done by going to the wedding, I thought, I'll go on as before, it won't change anything. As I finally drifted off to sleep all I could think of was that kiss.

Part Three

Life went back to what passed for normal after my trip to the wedding. Caroline's latest man dumped her when he found out about Naomi, and what worried me was that one of these losers would stick around for a while and become an influence on Naomi. Does that make me a bad sister or a good aunt?

Sophie and her partner planned to open a second spa, and out of the blue she asked me if I would be interested in managing it. I was enormously flattered and told her I would, on the condition we offer a service for trans girls as well. She liked the idea as long as we could keep it discreet. She didn't mean it badly, but it's the kind of thinking that drives me crazy. I told her it makes me feel as if we have to be hidden away somewhere. She said that wasn't what she meant, but she would have to talk it over with her partner and let me know. Put it this way, I wouldn't hold my breath.

Mother had begun to worry me. She spent more and more time at the church and I became concerned at the amount of influence they had on her. I tried to talk to her but it was like trying to communicate with a pre-programmed robot.

A week later Sophie asked to talk to me, so I met her at the spa after work and we sat down with a glass of wine. She had discussed the idea of a service for trans girls with her partner, but they felt it wouldn't work as a shared service with the new spa. I opened my mouth, and she held up her hand for me to shut up. One day she said, I would learn to jump in with a pause. I smiled, but what she said next floored me. They thought it was such a good idea they would be prepared to go into it with me as a stand alone business if I could raise some money to put into it.

I was speechless. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought about doing something like this. I asked her if she was serious and said, yes why not? My head was whirling, but I immediately began thinking about what we could offer. Sophie laughed as she watched my face and she said the first thing is to do some research to assess demand, then we would need a build a business plan to see if it would be profitable. My sister the businesswoman who would have guessed? She asked if I would be interested and I squealed and hugged her. She laughed and asked if that was a yes. We drank more wine, and I headed off home with my mind buzzing with ideas.

It's strange how life can get complicated very quickly. The day after my conversation with Sophie, I had a call from a headhunter offering me a job at a rival department store with better pay and benefits than my current one. It would be a great opportunity for me, but coming so close on the heels of Sophie's offer, it threw me into a spin. I loved the idea of doing something on my own, but the security of the new job was so tempting. God, I needed someone to help me sort this out. It obviously couldn't be Sophie, Caroline would be worse than useless, and my mother was out of the question. There was one person who I knew who would be great, but I couldn't possibly call Marcus, or could I?

It took two days of arguing with myself to decide if I should call him or not. He had given me his number, so he didn't mind if I called. The hesitation was all on my side. Did I want to go there? There was a fierce battle raging between my head and my heart. My head was saying it would be a good idea and my heart was ringing alarm bells. I must have picked up my phone and put it down again twenty times before I summoned up the nerve to dial the number.

My heart was pounding as I heard the call connect and then the ringing tone. My courage failed, and I was about to ring off just as he answered. Oh my God, what should I say? My mind went blank, and I heard him say again Marcus Flood, who is this. I finally managed to croak that it was me, Sammy..

He told me to hang on a minute. The line went quiet, and I thought he'd hung up. A few seconds later, he came on again apologising as he had been in a meeting. We chatted a little before he came right out and asked if we could meet as he had to get back to his meeting. I swallowed, then said yes I would like to. We agreed to have a drink the day after next. He seemed happy as he signed off by saying that he couldn't wait to see me again. It was that easy. I hung up, completely unsure of what I had just done.