The Wedding

Reality snaps my eyes open and I find myself naked on the bed, my cock standing up and desperate for some relief. I roll over and open my bedside drawer and my fingers find what I need, a tube of lube and my favourite toy, my dildo. With trembling fingers I smear the dildo and my hole and press the button to start it vibrating. I lie on my back, raise my bum and slide it into me. The vibration kicks in and I close my eyes, imagining it is Marcus and not a cold, hard piece of plastic. With one hand I move it in and out, and with the other I stroke my cock, feeling the climax beginning to build deep within me. I shove the dildo harder and harder into me and my fist is pumping my cock until the small volcano of my climax start to grow and grow and grow and hot sticky cum erupts from my cock.

I woke the next morning, still naked, with the dildo lying beside me and a pounding headache. I moaned as I moved, and for some reason every muscle in my body seemed to ache. I must have fallen asleep after my climax last night, and I shuddered as I remembered what I had done last night. Wrapping myself in a robe, I made some coffee, took a couple of aspirins and went back to bed. I called in sick to work and disappeared back under the duvet to try to go back to sleep. It was no use; all I could think of was last night with Marcus. The cold light of dawn revealed the full extent of the disaster; I had kissed a man whose wedding I had attended a couple of weeks before, had fantasised about him making love to me, and pleasured myself thinking about him. I told myself that he had started it, but even I knew that was no excuse for what I had done.

I knew now what my real feelings were for Marcus, and it made me shiver to think about facing him again. If I wanted to follow up about the money for the business, then I would have to meet him, I hid my face with the duvet as I burned scarlet with embarrassment. Why was everything so difficult in my life? There was something nagging at me in the back of my mind, something Marcus had said last night. I shook my head, that was a bad move, it was still pounding even after the aspirins. I shrugged and thought I would need to sign and return the contract for the new job when It flashed into my mind. Just before he kissed me had had said he had waited so long to do it. I lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling. That could only mean that he had wanted to do it five years ago when he was with Sophie. I had never suspected a thing. Did this make it better or worse? I beat the pillow with my fist.

My phone buzzed, and I looked at it as if it might be a hand grenade about to go off. What if it was Marcus, what the hell should I do? Caller ID showed it was Sophie, so I answered it, blushing as I thought of what I'd just learnt about Marcus. I told her I was sick and hadn't gone to work, and she asked if I had thought any more about the trans girl business. I told her I had and there was the chance I might be able to raise some money. She asked from where, but I said it wasn't certain so I would keep it to myself until I knew more. She had done some work and had found a possible site; a hairdresser was closing down, and the lease was available soon. She asked if I wanted to go with her to see it and could I make this afternoon.

We agreed she would pick me up at two o'clock which should allow me to get myself sorted out in time. I put the phone down, and it rang again straight away. I picked it up thinking it was Sophie calling back about something she'd forgotten. I said, yeah what? only to hear Marcus's voice saying hello, is everything alright?

I nearly dropped the phone in fright. I mumbled I'm sorry I thought it was Sophie. We're going to look at a possible place for the new business this afternoon. He paused, then said we needed to talk. Hell, I hadn't prepared for this. I guess so, I said, when did you have in mind. He had time tonight, he said, could we meet at my house. He said we need somewhere to talk quietly. Would it be OK to come round. I said I would check and call him back.

I clicked the call off and sat down on my bed. Damn, damn, damn, why did he have to suggest that? It had made me tingle when he suggested it. Why does your body always betray you?

It did mean I had to speak to my mother, these days a difficult experience. She was going to be out at the church tonight, which wasn't a big surprise. I didn't get away without a homily on the sin of going against God's will, but I now let it roll over me, it wasn't worth wasting the energy in arguing. I texted Marcus to meet me at eight. I didn't trust myself to speak to him right now.

Sophie picked me up, and we drove over to the possible location. I had in mind a space for people to meet, to dress, chat with others, cosmetic stations and a couple of private rooms for transformations. The premises would have been OK, but both Sophie and I both thought we should keep looking. In the car on the way back Sophie said she had seen a photograph in the local paper of Marcus's wedding. It was odd, but there was a little girl in the picture that looked the spitting image of Naomi. I felt my stomach fall as I half expected her to ask me about it. She didn't, but said that she had been wondering if Marcus had something for me, back then. I spluttered and my pulse went haywire. I asked her she meant, and apparently he had always been talking about me and how cool I was. She hadn't thought anything about it at the time, but now she wasn't so sure.

I stayed quiet, not trusting my voice to give me away. Sophie turned and looked at me as she was driving and I shrugged my shoulders, didn't notice it I squeaked. She had her sunglasses on, and I couldn't read the expression in her eyes. Did anything happen back then, she asked, still looking at me and trying to drive at the same time which was vaguely terrifying. No, I said, nothing happened, we were just friends. I heaved a sigh of relief that she was worried about happened five years ago and not last night. She dropped me at home and I had to have a glass of wine just to calm myself down. Mother went out at seven and I busied myself tidying my room in between panicking about Marcus coming. At eight precisely there was a knock on the door, I checked the spyhole and it was Marcus. I let him in and he said that at least this time he didn't have to shout through the letterbox.

That made me giggle, and I followed him through to the kitchen. I poured him a glass of wine and he sat in the same chair he had used five years ago. Nothing had changed much, he said, looking around. I laughed and said I think a lot has changed. He looked at me and smiled, yes, I was right, a lot had changed. We chatted about the premises I had been to see and he agreed that I should go for what I really wanted, not the first thing that came up. I topped up his glass and mine and said, I guess you didn't come round to talk about commercial property. He shook his head, No, I want to know what you feel about last night. That was typical Marcus, short and to the point. I said, I didn't know what to think. Something happened that shouldn't have last night, and maybe the best thing is for each of us just to forget about it. He nodded and said yes that's probably for the best. He looked away and then back to me and spoke again, but the crazy thing is I don't want to forget it, I can't. My heart did a loop the loop, and I felt my pulse start to race.

He said five years ago, he had been crazy about me. He knew it was wrong, being with Sophie and all, but it was really me that he wanted. Why did I think he used to come round here so much. He wanted to spend time with me. He knew nothing could really happen between us, I was too vulnerable back then and he would never have tried anything on. He just wanted to be with me. He paused, struggling with what to say next. When Sophie and he split, he said, his voice trembling as he spoke, she had told him that she would report him to the police if he ever came into contact with me again.

My mind was spinning, Sophie had never told me this part of the story. He took my hand and said that he was young, black and gay, he would never have stood a chance with the police if they got involved. So, he stayed away. It had hurt him he said, but in time he thought it was probably for the best. He had given me those addresses because he could see what I wanted to do and would have done anything to help.

I was crying now, and he put his arm around me. He held me tight and told me not to cry, it was a long time ago. I shook my head and said no it's not, it's like yesterday for me. He waited until I began to stop crying and said that when he saw me at the wedding, he could not believe how I had changed. He said he had seen a young woman; beautiful and poised. It looked like everything I had wanted seemed to have come true. I had blown him away, standing there, with the same look in my eyes I had back then. He had always loved my eyes, they had captivated him the first time, and still did.

I was crying again, and he said he had to know how I felt, because if I asked him to, he would walk out the door now and never come back. I stopped snivelling, dabbed my eyes with a tissue and looked at him, trying to search in his face for what he wanted. Marcus, I said, I missed him so much after he left. I had loved talking to him because he never judged me, always listened and respected my opinion. Not many people had ever done that to me. When I saw the wedding announcement, I had this idea that I would go along as a way of thanking him for what he did for me. Even if he didn't see me, I would be there to celebrate his marriage, and that would pay back a tiny fraction of what I owed him. He went to say something, and I put my fingers to his lips. Yes, I said, I owed him everything. I told him that when he saw me, my heart had flipped, and I thought how beautiful he looked. When I rang him it was to get his opinion, but I also wanted to see him, because it felt right. When he had kissed me last night, it was like being hit in the stomach. I wanted him so badly.

He looked as if he were about to cry this time. I said that when he walked out that door five years ago I thought I would never see him again. Now I've found you again I'm not ready to let you go without a fight.

I slid onto his lap, put my arms around his neck and kissed him. I want you right now, I said. I stood up, grabbed his hand and dragged him into my room. Kicking the door shut I started to unbutton his shirt, kissing his chest as I undid each button. I looked up at him and his grin was as wide as his face. I pulled his shirt out of his trousers, slowly raked my fingernails down his chest and started to unzip his trousers. He tugged at my t-shirt and managed to pull it over my head. Hormones have given me small but adequate breasts and he pushed up my bra and tongued my nipples. I nearly exploded at the touch of his tongue, my head flew back and he kissed my neck as he had done last night with the same effect. I fumbled with his zip and my hand slid inside. My eyes widened as I felt the size of his rapidly hardening cock. Shit, I thought, it is true what they say. I pushed him back onto the bed and he tried to sit up but I pushed him back. Straddling him, I kissed and sucked his dark nipples until they hardened between my lips.

I heard him moan as I butterfly kissed my way down his chest until I reached his cock, which was laying flat against his stomach. I took it in my hands and it was big, and extremely hard. I stroked it with my fingers, savouring the sight of my slim white fingers against the black skin now stretched tautly around what felt like steel. I leant down and kissed the tip and felt him twitch. I rolled his balls in my hand and he moaned again, so I licked from his balls right up to the tip and back down again. His cock if anything had grown as I caressed it and when I stood it upright, I knew I was never going to get all of that that in my mouth. I used my hands to stroke it before I swirled my tongue around the head and slid the tip through my lips. I tried to get as much as possible in my mouth, but almost choked on it. Easy, easy, I heard him say from further up the bed. I concentrated on the head, sliding it in and out of my mouth, my tongue flicking and swirling around the tip.

My hands were stroking the shaft and I could feel his tension rising, and he began to move his hips driving his cock into my mouth. My jaw muscles were beginning to ache, but I wanted him to cum in my mouth, so I stroked him harder and felt him stiffen as he said I'm cumming. He twitched twice, and I clamped my lips around the head as his cum came flooding into my mouth. There seemed to be so much and some of it slipped out of my lips and down my chin. I kept him locked into my mouth until he had finished, and I finally swallowed, licking the drops that had escaped from my lips with my tongue. I was about to climb on the bed to join him when I heard the key scraping in the front door lock.

Part Five

I don't think I have ever been as scared in my life as when I heard the key turn in the front door lock. I looked up at Marcus, whose eyes must have been as wide as mine. If it was my mother, I would undoubtedly be thrown out of the house and cast into one of the deepest pits of hell. If it was Sophie, it would be less dramatic, she would probably just kill me.

I heard two voices outside, and it was with a sigh of relief I heard Naomi's voice shouting Aunt Sammy. It must be Caroline with her, so I whispered to Marcus to stay there and be quiet. He nodded and started to pull his trousers back on. I desperately tried to get my bra back on properly and pull my t-shirt back over my head. I tried to straighten my hair as I heard Naomi shout for Aunt Sammy once more. I pulled my t-shirt straight and walked out, firmly closing the door behind me. Naomi hugged my leg when she saw me and I tousled her hair. Caroline was in the living room, shot me a look, then at the two glasses on the table.

Hello little sis, she said, and was I having company tonight whilst mother was out. I felt my cheeks warm, and I said nice to you see you too. She grinned, stood up and taking a tissue she wiped something from the corner of my mouth. You should be careful Sammy, but I suppose you can't get pregnant. I was now beetroot red and angry at the thoughtlessness of her remark. She said that she wasn't going to tell mother what I got up to, but she wanted to know if I could sit for Naomi Tomorrow night? Naomi squealed and asked me to please say yes. Of course I will I said to Naomi, I would love to see her anytime. I knelt down and got a huge hug from her. Caroline said she had forgotten to say thank you for me buying Naomi the new dress and shoes, but what had it been for.

We went on an adventure, piped up Naomi. I winked at her, hoping she wouldn't go any further and said to Caroline, it was the wedding of a friend of mine at work. He and his husband were married at the Registry Office. I hope she didn't mind me taking Naomi. God, no, said Caroline. She hugged me, said be good sis, and they both left, Naomi skipping and waving at me down the corridor.

My heart rate started to return to normal, and I went back to my room where Marcus was sitting on the bed, now fully clothed again. I grinned and said alarm over, they've gone. He looked at his watch and my heart sank, knowing that gesture meant I'm going now. I sat on his lap, nuzzled his neck and asked him in a whisper if he really had to go. He Nodded and said he was sorry, but yes, he had to go.

I kissed him and asked when could I see him again? He said he would call me, and my heart sank again. I also knew what that normally meant. I Walked him to the door where we kissed once more before I let him out and watched him walk down the street until he disappeared around the corner. I returned to my room and collapsed on the bed. I couldn't even catch a break, I thought. I had been so close to having him, and then nothing. I sighed, then leant over and retrieved the dildo and lube from the bedside.

I woke the next morning tired after a fitful night's sleep. As manager of the beauty hall I have to look better than everyone else, so I spend a lot of time getting my face on in the morning. I normally love the whole process, but this morning I couldn't even raise the enthusiasm for that. The morning dragged, and I was constantly checking my phone for messages. I was so distracted people were asking me if I was OK. Today Was also the day I was going to resign and that was worrying me too.

After lunch I told my Director who, although pleased for me on the surface, I could tell was annoyed as I had done a great job for them. By the time I left work I still had no word from Marcus and I was on the point of texting him when I got a call from Sophie. Could we meet tonight to discuss the business, she asked. I told her I had Naomi, so she said she would come across to the house. She also told me she thought Caroline was taking me for granted as a babysitter. Sophie and Caroline had fallen out a year or so back, and Sophie didn't cut her any slack. I told her it was OK; I liked looking after Naomi and it was my decision on what I did with my time.

She arrived at seven o'clock as I was listening to Naomi read. Her Reading was in my opinion way above what was normal for her age, but I'm Not at all biased, of course. Sophie and I talked whilst Naomi watched The Little Mermaid for the umpteenth time. Sophie nodded at Naomi and said that I was so good with her. I shrugged and didn't know what to say, but it made me feel good inside. We discussed the ideas I had for the Trans Girl business, and Sophie appeared to like what I had in mind. She asked about the funding I had mentioned and I kicked myself for saying anything about it to her until it was more definite.

At that moment the film had reached the wedding of Ariel and Prince Eric, and Naomi asked me loudly over the sound of the film why Marcus Hadn't got married in church. My face froze, and I wanted the ground to open up beneath me. Sophie looked puzzled, saw my face and then without taking her eyes from mine, quietly asked Naomi what she meant. Naomi had turned round by this time, and could see by the look on my face she had said something she shouldn't and started to cry. I told her it was OK, that she hadn't done anything wrong, and to come and sit with me. She Buried her head in my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

Sophie's face was like thunder. In an ice cold voice she asked outright if I had gone to the wedding and had I taken Naomi. I nodded, and she looked away, then asked me what the hell did I think I was doing, taking Naomi, was I mad? I made a face, trying to get Sophie to shut up for Naomi's sake. I told her, as calmly as I could, I wanted to go because he had done so much for me back then. My voice tailed off as I saw Sophie's face darken even more. I said Caroline had asked me to look after Naomi that day, so I took her along. Something in Sophie's mind clicked, and she said that the girl in the photo really had been Naomi, so why hadn't I said anything when she mentioned it in the car.

I said I thought it would upset her. She exploded, told me that it upset her even more to find out her sister had been lying to her. Naomi Started to cry again and I glared at Sophie. She dropped her voice and asked if he had seen me. I put my fingers to my lips to keep her quiet because Naomi was still upset. Sophie stood up and said she was going, we needed to talk tomorrow. She walked off without even a goodbye to Naomi.

I stroked Naomi's hair until she stopped crying and fell asleep. I Managed to move her to one side so I could lay her down on the sofa and cover her with a blanket. What had happened was my fault, not hers. I Should never have taken her with me to the wedding. I had made her an unwitting accomplice to my scheme, and it had backfired horribly. I made myself a drink and flopped down on the chair.