All Comments on 'The Wrong Man Ch. 02'

I always like to read stories with happy endings,as this one has.Although he had a rough time getting over his unfaithful wife, he succeeded in getting back on his feet just at the right time. Thanks for the good story....Rich

No wimps here, a real man who isn't a needy neurotic obsessed with the past, who is willing able to get on with life.

I liked the first chapter and like this just one as much. The husband moved on and found someone else. Hopefully the ex-wife will see how happy you two are and think back to what she did. I like your stories a lot. Keep writing.

Good Story. Seriously, we need some good stories like this in "loving wives". Thanks for the good story.

You repaired many of the problems of the first chapter

You had me scared when I saw a second chapter because

I was afraid she would come up with a tale of being

blackmailed by Jim threatening to fire him and had

no choice. Behind this reconciliation would be on the

horizon. But no, you took to heart the complaints

about the lack of catharsis for the hero. Personally

I feel that the solution initial of quitting work

and drinking was horrifying. The wanderlust solution

was more positive. The one in a million chance encounter

permitted a proper solution. In my opinion recapturing

your happiness and confidence is the best solution.

Who wants to spend the rest of their life in prison just

for a bit of revenge. In the "good" old days when

property right were more respected than human rights

you could have shot both of them, Personally I feel

that if adultery was a crime for both spouse then

people would be a bit more careful about separating

before getting strange. And I do not feel that "punching" someone's wife is not justification for a return punch

OK breaking bones would be excessive use of force

but if society does not punish we will be justifying

vigilante action...

You rushed the ending to quickly. His whorewife got no revenge on her, only a free license to fuck around. The company and the fucker got off way to easy. $600K isnt a lot of money so he isnt rich. Dawn rolled into bed way to easy, got to consider she is used to being ridden. The daughter is a keeper but momma has to be watched. She switched way to fast from angry guy to new guy and jumping into bed with him with open legs. I can understand leaving the town the ex was in but not with his tail between his legs. Where is the pain he promised his wife and the fucker?

One last chapter pls. I would like to read the story from her side

But hay, I enjoyed the first one. With goodhusband writting his gay little cockold tales it's nice to have some balence. Most husbands and wives would be deeply hurt to find out their partner was cheating, how they deal with it is always interesting, good story, thanks.

I enjoyed reading this chapter. Very realistic with the drinking and depression. Would love another chapter or two from Kelly's point of view ~ why she did it and her life during and after the divorce.

loved it.

I just love nice endings, and this one had just that.

Fantastic, there is life after dealing with a former slut wife. Hopefully the ex found her calling and is successful working the streets [where she belongs].

McDonalds?????

This category seems filled with husbands who want to watch their wives with others and wifes who are--miraculously--eager to go along with it. Your stories, both of them, show a far more realistic reaction to catching an unfaithful spouse. Jake's initial problems in dealing with the divorce are also very realistic. I agree with some of the other comments, though, that you should've taken more time to develop the relationship in part two before putting them in bed together.

I sort of liked the first chapter, but this one nails it! Erotic, romantic, full of adventure, realistic emotions, and (best of all) no wimps allowed! Well done, HE007. I hope you keep writing.

But that's just nitpicking. Good job.

By the way, next time, have the Hero start a Green Grocer/Farmer's Mkt Co-op or something. McDonald's!? You might as well as opened a Bar!

This was better than good compared to ch. 1. That has nothing to do with that chapters anger and strong actions.<P>

It has to do with stronger character and scene staging, explaining and painting his thoughts and feelings plus the eventual warmth he displayed.<P>

Some will say the transition was too quick but in a short story we need to give the author some room to develop his plot-path as he sees fit.<P>

Author - you are looked forward to - Next please.<P>

With Higher Regard [ than Ch. 1 ]

There was no real reason for this story to be a Chapter 2 of TWM. There was really almost no connection, other than the names, and those could have been changed. Main character was dramatically different than crazy man in Chapter 1. Ex-wife, as a character, had no real role, other than boogie-man, in this story. And if main character can fall out of love in an instant in Chp. 1, well, he falls back IN love in an instant in this story. Unrealistic.

This was a feel good story. A very good complement to chapter 1.

Excellent

I love a happy ending. Keep writing. To few stories where men are men.

After reading the first and this chapter I think he did the right thing by getting asa far away as possible form his problems .

Pat

the ex got what was coming to her.she wanted to be a whore,so hubby gave her walking papers to be a full time whore.she got away light.

Meets girl. Saves girl. Takes girl out to dance. Falls in love. Kisses girl. Girl jumps in his bed first night. Perfect strangers. What was the rush? Not very realistic.

Well, well, you may not be the best avenger (I can't count divorcing a cheating spouse as a revenge), but you are a very sensitive author of love and healing! I loved this chapter. Mind you I would not object to you trying your hand again at another TRUE consequences story -or for that matter any kind of story! Good luck!

Greaaat!I loved it this chapter!!!

But needs a chapter3, showing what the stupid bitch lost(from her point of view!).

correct liberal ass faggots on this site says. So they thought that you were too harsh. First of all if you dion't get on your knees and give a blow job to the asshole that fucks the wife and ask him if he would do you the honor of shoving his diseased little cock up your ass ...then you are too harsh... I have a nice fuck you all for these little closet queens. Write as you feel like it

Don't let the comments upset you. The fictional characters are like real people in a sense. Everyone reacts differently. What one can't forgive another can. Doesn't make you more or less. It's what YOU can handle

I like this one!

<p>I agree to some extent with the "too rushed" comment. But sometimes it really works that way --- you meet a person and she just fits. Still, beyond that the story was very well written. There were several phrases written in passing that were just the mark of a good writer. <i>It didn't matter what road I was on. They all went somewhere.</i> ---- good stuff.</p>

<p>The protagonist was a real person in this chapter. He grieved for his lost marriage. He drank. He listened to advice and he got on with his life. Who among us hasn't experienced something similar?</p>

<p>A good job by a writer who is growing as he writes. That's the way it's supposed to work.</p>

Maybe rushed. But keep it up!!

You have a pretty good writing style. I guess if I was to be critical about anything it would have to be how fast Dawn dropped her panties for Jake. After you painted Jake as this down to earth guy with conservative values that just divorced his wife for cheating on him, stating he will not tolerate any infidelity and Dawn as an educated widow that still loves her deceased husband with a daughter that she puts before anything else and just went through a traumatic experience with her ex boyfriend putting her, her daughter and her mother in perilous danger because she made a judgement error about Jack's character. (how's that for a run on sentence) You would think that they both would take their time before jumping into bed with someone (Dawn) or falling in love (Jake) with a woman that gives it up the second day he knows her. It would have been a little more plausible if when Dawn came into Jake's room she told him that she didn't want to give him mixed messages but she just wanted to cuddle and to be held. Or even if Jake tried, like most men do, and she stopped him saying that she really wanted to be sure this time. That she couldn't afford any more mistakes. Giving Jake a good moral impression of her and making him feel more comfortable with his choice. The sex could come later after she got to know Jake a little better. Learning from her mistake with Jack and taking it a little slower. That would be a little more consistent with your story line. Especially, with the way you set up the bar scene when you had Dawn go to the bathroom refusing offers of drinks and dances from other men and even ignoring the way most men looked at her. Basically, not flirting like Jake's ex-wife which made an impression on Jake. Like I said it was a small inconsistency probably not even noticible to most. I like your style. A true man doesn't have to get revenge on someone that hurt him but they don't have to tolerate it either. I liked your characters they were very well developed by their actions. Keep up the good work. I'm looking foward to reading more of your stories.

I just didn't like the way you portrayed the Glock. Totally unrealistic... blah blah techno-jargon blah bla. See what I mean? Duh.

This is a basically solid story, but a few slip-ups along the way show where you didn't do your homework. So just so you know in the future: Glock handguns use an *internal* firing mechanism - this means there isn't a hammer to "come down"...and the only way to "cock" this type of gun is to pull the slide mechanism back, which the lead character could hardly do in this situation as doing this with a Glock will leave the slide in the extended position, with the barrel protruding from the front of the realigned mechanism; it also won't fire in any capacity when it's in this configuration.

So next time, I'd suggest you opt for a Colt or a Smith & Wesson, where the actions you described wouldn't be out of the question for the equipment you're attempting to use.

He handled things the right way in the first chapter. His feeling of grief, after the death of his marriage, was a perfectly natural feeling. The pretty young widow in trouble was just what he needed. Thank you for a fine story.

Please stop....you're polluting the net with your crap

just plains sucks

Your writing is as good as any I have read here and I can relate to the first part of this story, however the last part hasn't happened yet. In any case your writing is very good, please continue.

Not bad, but their wasn't enough retribution on Jake's part onto Kelly and Jim. He should have gotten at least 7-figures for his troubles. Also a background scene of what has happened to Kelly since the divorce would help as well.

Why do you writers speed through the end of your stories? We invest the time in reading the build up and you guys climax and conclude in a single paragraph LAZY and EMPTY endings

But definitely worth reading...I didnt finish with a need to know more about Kelly...fuck her...I will look for more of your stories to read.

It was a GREAT STORY. Way to go.

This is a fine ending to the first story. Keep writing and I will read any story you add to this site. R.T.

It was a very fine story, Amigo. Please write many more like it.

...just leaving on a bike is boring. The author should have arranged another meeting. She should have suffered her own malicious fate. But in this story, the cheater goes on with her life as if nothing happened and will never learn about the effects of her cruel misbehaviour.

Just an average story.

He should have taken the New Lady home and introduced Her around so the "slut" would have heard or better yet seen how Happy he was w/o Her .

The original focus was revenge on kelly. While I thoroughly enjoyed this, kelly needed her come uppance. Please explore that aspect if you dare.

The two chapters were almost completely separate except for Jake. I liked both stories. The first was big macho but believable. It didn't get into Kelly's behavior enough. Was she just that stupid to be fucking a pure asshole at her husband's company? That's spitting in her husband's face and humiliating him which flies in the face of her claim that it didn't mean anything. She could have picked a stranger for an occasional hookup. So she was either an absolute moron or a nasty slut that got off on secretly humiliating her husband. As to getting away with the assault, his friends were witnesses, of course he could get away with it. The cops don't know the truth and are unlikely to find out. The asshole claims his innocence but all assholes do. He has no one to back up his story. Besides the assault, he was screwing at the company and cheating on his wife. He was also an asshole. He deserved what happened although "alienation of affection" seems unlikely as a method to sue him.

The second story was a White Knight story and fairly boiler plate. It was well written and I enjoyed it. It was more of a romance instead of a loving wives tale. He handled the jerk in a straight forward manner. Nice read.

Living well is the best revenge. The only thing lacking is rubbing Kelly's nose in how well he is living now. That could easily happen off stage by simply sharing his joy with some mutual friends.

maybe only a right for the time. TK U MLJ LV NV

A real man just walks away.

but sure as hell was the right cuck! Awesome cuck tale broseph, 5 on the jizz0meter, keep the cuck stories coming man, we need the reactionary violence to offset our RL impotence, keep writing.

the second was even better than the first one. Well done.

The premise of the first one was that the ex wife would wither and wilt away without her husband. His revenge was her forever saying 'if only'

That is crap.

Women aren't like that. She would do exactly what she did in this second one: move one with her life, rationalizing her choices.

So I didn't like that nothing much happened to her. But it's realistic and plausible.

That was my biggest problem with the stories.

Chapter one of this story paralleled my own life a bit too closely. I felt the character's rage and humiliation as if it were my own. I longed for his vengeance, to make the slut suffer.

Chapter two was so unexpected. So affirming. Especially the part where he is able to forgive his ex.

The best writer's use and/or provoke real emotion in their readers. I can only hope that one day one of my stories will touch someone like this did me.

Thank you.

You could have added a few more paragraphs and described Dwan clinging to him that night and his expressing his love for her, Rachel and June.

A paragraph on hearing how his ex couldn't get a date with a good man because she had a reputation as a slut. Maybe all she could get was dates with older father figure men who were willing to spend money on her, take her and be overly patient with her in hopes they might eventually get a little.

So, Yes - I liked this story, nicely done...Thanks!

For God's sake....lol

can't you add?????

kind of good but you need to interlace your 2 stories better.....bill

nibbling a stiff member, he lubed his worn cornhole, betrayed!

I really liked both chapters and love a happy ending.

The great thing about fiction is it can be whatever you want it to be. Even if it sounds incredulous, a little bit of you wants to believe it could happen for real.

Keep writing, the plot is interesting and the grammar is good.

Ive put you in my fav writers.

A happy ending for him and a big contrast from part one. Thanks.

I love happy endings (not the kind where the cuckolded husband take them right back, maybe in a few years is OK). Although a McDonald's Franchise is not ideal to me but it is a money maker. Thank you for writing.

But I told you after the first chapter that the ex-wife wasn't going to suffer for long. She pulled herself up, forgot about Jake and moved on with her life. I'm not much for taking back a cheater, but I'm even less for people who simply walk away. Unless you talk to someone, you NEVER know what happened. It's the cowards way out. He took it.

You did a much better job of humanizing Jake in this chapter.

What happened to Kelly and where do they live? The story was wordy at times and meandered but was very good.

I gave the story a well earned 5 but I would like to ask one thing. I haven't read all of the comments so this may have already been addressed. Please, please, please if you are going to use a firearm in your story, do some research. And I'm asking this of all authors reading this. Now, first the Glock cannot be cocked except by pulling the slide back and releasing it. Next, the Glock does not have an external hammer for him to hear fall. Instead it has an internal striker. And finally, he wouldn't have had the firearm in his hand while the police were there. If they didn't take it for evidence, the police would still have removed the Glock from his hand, unloaded and safed the weapon. Then given it back to him unloaded when they left with the magazine (not clip) out of the pistol. Loaded firearms in the hands of civilians in a situation as described in the story make the police very, very nervous! For any authors who need to research firearm usage by a character, I will be more than willing to help make it more authentic.

Little fast on the falling in love bit Stud. Maybe wait 48 hrs or a week next time. Still, it was interesting, different, and entertaining. 5*

Kelly, what happened to the bitch???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Where is Jake, why this Jake is a wimp? Sorry but the first chapter is realy much better.

Firstly, What was that bullshit at the start about readers saying he was harsh and cruel? What the fuck did he do? Beat up the whores lover? What a bastard! Divorce a lying manipulative cunt? Oh the humanity! Get a fucking life faggots!

Also, it`s a bit unbelievable that a woman who has just been beaten and dumped on the side of the road, whose ex is currently in her house threatening to kill her child and mom, would invite A COMPLETE STRANGER into her home, allow him to hang out with her 8 year old kid, go on a date and dancing, then have sex with him, ALL in the space of, what, 3 or4 hours tops? Not unless she was on drugs, or mildly retarded.

This story seemed VERY rushed and it felt like the author was trying to please the complaining, cum- guzzling, wimpy, wants-it-up-the-ass brigade!

Ignore those losers, Hawkeye, and stick to building pyres, and promptly tossing bitches upon them!

who lives hundreds (or more) miles away? If so, it's a bit strange for him to be godfather. Additionally, Jake should not have asked for and Dawn should not have consented to the adoption.

That was this story exploding into a millions little pieces of garbage.

GREAT STORY

The Glock is DAO. What is the use of having a fire arm without a full magazine and one in the chamber?

and they go both ways for the vagabonds, TK U MLJ LV NV

Fortunately for LW all the stories take place in those states ;).

Crap, crap crap.

They went from strangers to lovers way too fast for a woman that was beaten and left on the side of the road.

Pulling the "clip" (magazine) does not clear the chamber and the Glock does not have a magazine disconnector, and clearing the chamber is very hard to do quietly.

(What kind of idiot would go to use a gun with an empty chamber to save lives?)

although there may have been a few things that were a little off, it was still a very good story. and I'm glad he wasn't one of those wimp pussy husbands who claim to get turned on by his wife screwing another guy. good job with this story.

Good writing. Reading -- just okay. As two old crows commented, realistically, the sex started too soon after Jake met Dawn. It could have been stretched out in a single small paragraph. Other than that? Cheers!

As always wonderful things happen in fiction. Great tale.

Five Stars

the wrong way Corrigan is out the window. TK U MLJ LV NV

..and I don't mean hers. If you're going too write about firearms either educate yourself or get an adviser. You got more wrong than you did right. So the same day she, her child, and mother were terrorized by her ex she goes out dancing with some random biker she met a few hours ago? Then pretty much goes straight to fucking. Come on man build a little timeline into this fairy tale. It's OK to develop characters and for them to develop a relationship. The outline of the story is good.

Sorry, he wouldn't qualify for a McDonalds franchise. Not enough cash or the right experience.

Well, finished reading this series for the second time now , and though I like the overall theme , it kinda comes across as rushed .

Jake's character , comes off as a kind hearted guy , who was simply blinded by love in his marriage. Thank god the author didn't go for reconciliation for them , because that would have been blatantly foolish. That dog was tire tracks dead !

The self doubts and self pity he felt were , in my opinion, very truthful as anyone who has ever been there knows. I only wish the author had fleshed this part of the story out better . There is a fine line here , between how you painted it ( minimalist) , as opposed to lets say TheUnoriginalist Boilerplate series , which went way to far into the weeds and became just rambling depressing angst .

In my opinion , the greats fall in between these two points , between ho hum and oh god no more please.

I also need to agree with Buzzcar on his comment , I understand that a lot of authors are not gun savvy , just as I am not on a whole litany of subjects , but a simple Wikipedia search will do wonders. ( Glocks do not have hammers , they are what's called a striker fired weapon , their is a big difference )

was gonna do 3*'s , but I'll round up to 4

Keep writing you'll do fine.

Hell its just a story its out of the writers imagination. He made this story from his own mind and in his own world he had McDonald's have a fire sale and sold him the franchise for a dollar! Does that make you feel better. Keep writing don't worry about the dumb stuff Woo Ha!

There is no hammer on a Glock and it does not have a clip.

It is striker fired and uses magazine.

If I can be so bold, IMHO, I thought the story was a bit rushed - don't be afraid to write longer stories, take more time developing relationships, more dialog; we'll keep reading. Dawn seemed to fall for Jake awfully quick, especially since she made a point of talking about her love for her first husband Brian. Then, when she finally starts dating again, she gets tied up with butthead Jack. So I think, with her "mothering" instincts at high alert, I think she would have moved a lot slower and been a little more mistrusting with another man - even one that had shown to be capable, friendly, and of great help.

Still, you're a good writer with good instincts for what makes an interesting story. 5 stars. Thanks!

Thanks for sharing.

Wife and lover for all the big talk get away with not much happening...fact wife is doing quite well

Find happiness and live well. The cheaters will get what they deserve. Karma is a bitch.

You need to learn a little bit about handguns. Glocks have no hammer to cock .you would have to rack the slide . to pull trigger and release the striker . and it has magazine i know im being petty

I enjoyed the story.....a good read, owning a McDonald's doesn't just take money. You have to work your way up and be a manager at McDonaldS before you can own one. It's not that easy and it takes time. Anyway, the story had a good foundation and i'm not even getting started about the glock handgun. Add a couple more chapterS and the story will be complete. Thanks......sam

to a great story

good job

good things happen to good people

Great follow-up to 1st part. Love finding these older stories to enjoy today. I wish some of these authors would come back to write again.

From the bartender he finds out she's not "crushed" while he's still hurting, and probably still with Steve. You said he could neither forgive nor forget.

Now, if she's not with Steve but some other abusive controlling asshole being beaten and/or whored out, then great. Let her suffer with that. But if living "well" with Steve in a nice house? Fuckin'A.

And if Steve is still employed at their former company making VP wages, that $100,000 Jake got in settlement means a drop in the bucket. Some serious ass whipping needs done. Now, if Steve is a busboy at a downtown Chinese restaurant and living in a roach infested hovel, then justice is served.

You didn't follow through with a good very promising start. 2-stars

..... sweet little story. There’m room in LW for a wee love story. I enjoyed this.

is the perfect example of the week cunt male that shows up on occasion here. In his comment on part 1 he derides the Puritans, although no one here, and certainly not he, knows anything about them. It's just a throw away line to virtue signal that he's a sensitive, New Age male who has "nuanced" views about marriage and adultery. Mikey boy...perhaps I should fuck your wife in front of you just to see how you respond. Unfortunately, odds are you are no physical match for me, but I'd love to watch your face as I let her have it.

It's always good to be reminded that there are good women out there. And good men can still find them. Nice ending well told.

i dont get why you read all the time when a man gets in the familie they say they adopted her children but to me that only seems like a big god damn insult to her ex husband that died and with adoption that comes usaly with name changes and that is like pissing on her dead husband grave