There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 29

"The political cartoonists will have a field day with it, and so will Robert. The poor boy will be exhausted, but look at the possibilities that will come afterwards."

"Stephano, I need a drink. I need a lot of drinks. I think I want to get drunk."

"Okay, I'll call William and Jemma, to see if they want to join us. We will have a party. I will ordered Chinese food. This way, when we get really hungry later, we can order Italian."

"Why aren't you thousand pounds Stephano?"

"Look who's talking Patricia. You were 5'2" and 102 pounds when we met. You are 5'2" and 102.5 pounds today. The extra one half pound is only because you just drank a bottle of water."

"I keep my weight down, because my husband gives me a lot of exercise. I do a lot of aerobics, core, and gymnastics exercises, when we are alone."

"I do my best dear. Let's call Robert, and leave him a message on his cell phone. He will probably answer us after the inauguration."

**********************

Dycke called me a few hours after he spoke with Payne.

"I don't know what to say Even. I haven't yelled at or threatened Payne, since the day we met. I did today, and I am furious with her. I never had to control these feelings of rage with her. I am afraid I will hurt her, when she gets home."

"There is a better way Dycke. There is a much better way to handle this situation. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do, Even. I know this situation is going to get out of control."

"I'm not going to tell you everything I know. I am just going to tell you to be at the launch site Christmas Day, with Payne, and Zoey at your side. You can sit in the VIP seats that will be reserved for you the three of you, or you can sit in the general audience seating. We want Payne to be comfortable having Zoey at her side. You must be there. If you are not there, you will lose Payne forever."

"You know I will do anything in my power not to lose her Even. Without her, I am nothing."

"I know Dycke. Keep this part of our conversation to yourself, and as far as your other problem goes, don't hurt her. Don't hit her. She is expecting you to punish her. Deny her what she is expecting. Destroy your paddle and leave it somewhere she can see it when she walks in. Don't touch her; don't kiss her, and don't tell her you love her. The pain of not hearing those words from you will be worse than the sting of that paddle."

"Even that is cruel, not only to Payne, but to me."

"Those are your two choices my friend. Abuse her body and you will see the results for weeks on end. You will feel like a monster for hurting her.

Or you can make her reached deep into her soul, and see what a terrible mistake she has made separating these children, the way her mother tried to separate the two of you. Bring your parents into the picture. They will be very disappointed with her."

"Okay Even, I'll do it your way. If I show up on December 25 in a body cast, you will know why."

"You can't do that Dycke. I'm going to have a rush job for you coming up very soon."

"You leave in six weeks Even. A rush job should have been put in six months ago."

"Newton just asked me yesterday. How could I ask you six months ago?"

"What does he want to do?"

"Are you sitting down?"

"Are you asking me if I should be lying down?"

"Yes, that would be safer."

"All right Even, I am lying down on the office floor. What does Newton want to do?"

"He believes he has a way to send radio signals faster than the speed of light."

There was no response from the other end of the phone.

"Dycke are you still there? Dycke speak to me. Open your eyes, breathe, and speak to me."

"I'm all right. I want to know one thing, what happened to a message being sent in a bottle?"

"Fortunately, that went out with our forefathers."

"How is an 11-year-old boy going to break the laws of physics and several other sciences and have radio signals move faster than light?"

"How did I get radio waves to move around mountains?"

"You got lucky."

"As I recall, your wife gave me a very large check that day, along with four other people. Boeing's check came the next day."

"How much time am I going to have to perform this miracle?"

"Newton is going to be working with Delicious, Gray and me for as many hours as he can stay awake. As soon as the three of us see where he is going, we will continue working on it, until he wakes up the next day. You should have at least three or four to get it done."

"I'm sure I can put something together in three or four weeks that will work."

"Days, Dycke, three or four days. It will be all hands on deck, and I don't care how much money it costs, but I want six of them on board the spacecraft, plus parts for 10 more."

"Should I tell you where to go, even though you're going there already Even?"

"My friend, how many times have I asked you to do the impossible, and you have made it possible. I believe the last one was my son-in-law's freezer line. You said all you had to do was to go through the exterior shell, and through 505,000 gallons of water. Then you had to pierced the secondary hull and go through 22 million bearings that will be spinning at 17 revolutions per second. After you completed that, all you have to do is mate it to the freezer connections. Would you care to explain to me how you did it, because it was impossible to do?"

"Doctor Luck if you were not at the top of my list of the people I hated most in this world already, I would put you there now."

"You could always put me in first second and third place Dycke."

"Thank you Even, I never thought of that. I will erase my entire list, and put you into every slot."

"You can't do that, you have to leave one slot for Gray."

"As usual you are right Even. Doctor Grayson Thyme will be number 999."

"I'm sure he will be honored. Be at the launching ceremony Dycke, your future happiness depends on it."

"We will be there, even if I have to tie them up to do it."

"There are certain drugs that work better than ropes. I will send you some if you want."

"Even, it's illegal to use a drug on a person, when it is not prescribed for them, and you know it."

"Who said the drug was not going to be prescribed for Payne and Zoie?"

"I have just knocked Doctor Thyme off my list. You are now number 999 also."

"I am truly honored. Should I make a speech?"

"Yes, read it to Jennifer. She's the only one who would be interested in hearing it."

"I can't, I'm going to be in trouble with her very soon."

"Wonderful, tell me what you did wrong so I can celebrate."

"You will hear about it soon enough, but I'm not telling anyone yet."

"You spent all your money?"

"Dycke, 1000 women, working 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, in Paris' most expensive stores wouldn't put a dent in the interest we are making our money Dycke."

"Disgusting is in it?"

"No one can say we aren't busting our asses to earn it. How much sleep have you gotten in the last year Dycke?"

"Sleep, I used to know that word. Every time I doze off some idiot from one of my factories calls and tells me they have a problem. It seems some asshole in Temple has sent them another schematic for a fiber, or a powder that turns into flexible clear plastic that is bulletproof, and they can't get the formula right. I finished eating dinner, and head back to the factory."

"Have you ever thought about putting in a pneumatic tube from your building to your office?"

"Even, you are a genius. Why didn't I think of that? I was thinking of using a helicopter to go to work, but there would be a problem with the airport all the time. Your pneumatic tube idea is absolutely brilliant. We can use the fibers instead of steel to show everyone how strong, and flexible they are. God Even, what am I going to do without you?"

"Do you want me to have Richard and Holden work out the details for you?"

"You son of a bitch. You had to do that, didn't you? It's not bad enough I'm going to be working with them, until the day I die, but you had to say they were going to work up this idea of yours."

"I was only joking with you Dycke."

"I wasn't Even."

"Have your secretary put a pillow under your head, a blanket over your body, and close the lights in your office. You need sleep my friend. You are getting a little touchy."

"Only a little; I'm ready to scratch your eyes out. I'll talk to you again Even. Goodbye."

"Sleep, my friend, sleep, your body needs it."

"I have something else we must talk about, and I'm deadly serious. This came directly from Teddy, and if we don't do something about it, your family is going to be destroyed. If you don't want to hear it from me, I'll take care of it myself, in due course.

If you want to know what Teddy said, remember how she predicted that one of Payne's aircraft's engines was bad. Do you want me to continue, or take care of it myself?"

"Do you remember what I said about anyone taking Payne away from me?"

"Why do you think I'm asking you this question? That's how important this information is to you, and your family's future."

"I am still lying down Even, tell me everything, and don't leave a word out."

****************

"Mom, where do daddy's parents live?"

"If this isn't a set up, I've never seen one. You know damn well, where your grandparents live. Why do you ask Deborah?"

"Being good and devoted grandchildren, who have not seen their grandparents in over three years, and having a parent who has come into newfound wealth, and children who have a five day weekend coming up, Rebecca, and I have decided that we are going to visit them, with or without their parent."

"Exactly how are you going to get from St. Louis to Chicago?"

"On US Airways flight 5149, departing Wednesday morning at 8:53 AM, arriving Chicago Midway Airport 9:45 AM."

"Who is paying for your tickets?"

"You are such a wonderful and trusting mother. The charges will appear on your next American Express bill."

"Naturally you bought the tickets over the Internet."

"Naturally."

"The tickets are nonrefundable."

"You are so smart mom."

"Why am I so anti-guns?"

"For the exact reason you are thinking of killing your two beautiful daughters. In one moment, you will realize we bought you a ticket also. We didn't want you to sit at home, alone, and be bored to tears without us."

"How can I ever be bored with, or without you two around?"

"Are you saying our personalities are challenging?"

"I'm saying if I sent you to a psychologist, he would pay me not to send you anymore."

"Mom, that's another way for us to make money."

"Don't you have a test tomorrow?"

"Yes, but I'm going to ace it."

"If you don't, you are cleaning the entire house tomorrow night, by yourself."

"Anything you want mom, I am going to ace this test."

"I'm very happy that you are so confident in your abilities. I pray that you only get a 99 instead of 100."

"Now that's mean mom that is really mean spirited."

"Tell that to my American Express card."

"Rebecca made the reservations, and the aircraft was booked solid. She wheeled, and dealed, and did the only thing possible to get us on that aircraft."

"What Did She Do?"

"I'm not sure, you better ask her."

Sandra screamed, "Rebecca, get your butt in here."

"Yes gorgeous mother of mine."

"You purchased tickets for us to go to Chicago using my American Express card. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Deborah and I thought it was long overdue for us to see dad's parents. He is leaving soon. I didn't know if they were going to be there to see him off or not. I know we are not going to be there, even though Debbie and I would love to kiss him goodbye. It would hurt you too much to see him leave. Neither of us wants to hurt you like that, so we will watch it on television."

"Rebecca, you have to become a lawyer. You are the best I have ever seen at being asked a question, and after you begin answering it, you end up 10,000 miles away from the point."

"Becky and I practice that every night mom. We are really good at it. We drive our teachers crazy."

"Keep quiet Deborah."

"Yes ma'am."

"Rebecca, let's return to US Air flight 5149, and three round-trip tickets to Chicago from St. Louis. How much did they cost me?"

"$1249 and change."

"That's not too bad. Your sister had me worried."

"Each."

"Did you say each?"

"Yes, we're flying first class."

"We are going first-class for a 45 minute flight for $1250 round-trip?"

"$1250, plus taxes and fees. However, we don't have to pay for our luggage, because were flying first class."

"Now isn't that nice. The people in the back of the plane are probably paying about $150, plus $25 per bag, and we are paying $1250 each. However, we don't have to pay the $25 per bag. We should thank them for being so kind."

"Our drinks are free, and we get off the airplane first."

"If the airplane crashes, we die first."

"It keeps the suspense down."

"Rebecca, why do you have your father sense of humor?"

"He must have been very funny."

"He had his moments. Did anybody bother calling your grandparents to tell them we are coming?"

"Mom, give us some credit, of course we called. We left a message on their machine."

"After I kill you two, I'm going to hire somebody to really hurt you."

"Isn't that a waste of money?"

"It's my money, not yours, mine."

"She's getting testy Rebecca. We better humor her for a little while."

"Be quiet their phone is ringing."

"Hello Joan, this is Sandra, Joe's wife."

"Hello Sandra, Joseph said he saw you recently."

"Yes we did see him, and it was wonderful to be with him again. I really don't want to discuss it on the phone, but would you like some company for a few days starting Wednesday?"

"Sandra, I am saving the message Rebecca left on my machine for eternity. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I changed the tape immediately and put a new one in, because I didn't want anything to happen to that one. I'll play it for you when you get here. What time you arrive at Midway?"

"It's US Air flight 5149, and we arrived just before 10 o'clock. Let me warn you about these girls of mine. They will talk both your ears off at the same time. They are delightful, but they can talk to a wall until it falls down."

"Isn't that what we women do Sandra?"

"These two are women on super-speed, and I love them dearly."

"It's been a long time since we've seen them, and we can't wait. We will pick you up at the airport at 10 o'clock."

"Thank you Joan, it will be good to see you and Sam again."

*****************

"Do you remember what message you left for your grandparents Rebecca?"

"Of course mom, it was just a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, and when we were coming in."

"Well, your grandmother was so hysterical over it; she is saving it for posterity. She is going to let me hear it when we get there."

"Debbie, remind me to take my magnets."

"Young one, if that tape gets erased, you will start working the midnight shift at McDonald's, when you turned 16."

"Where has your sense of humor gone mom?"

"I believe it went when I heard $1249 plus tax and fees each."

"I told you we should have left the night before, and stayed at a hotel. $198 each, round-trip, the cost of a hotel room overnight, plus meals would not have upset her this much."

"We could have done this trip for $1000, instead of $4000, by leaving the night before? I am buying a big gun."

"Becky, I think it's time for us to tell her the truth. I believe she's really getting angry with us."

"Should I tell her we hired a private jet, or should I tell her the truth truth?"

"If you tell her the private jet story, I'm heading for the hills."

"Mom, you stay on your side of the table, and we will stay on ours."

"Is this story going to save me money?"

"Mom, you are living in the dark ages. You no longer have to live on $200 a month. You have $210 million in the bank. Try to relax and enjoy it."

"It's not as easy as throwing a switch girls. I never fell out of love with your father in all the months we were separated. It's going to take me a while to get use to having all this money."

In duet they said, "Can we help you?"

"No."

"How did we know you were going to say that to us?"

Sandra was about to answer that question, when they answered it themselves.

"Because we are brilliant."

"Would you to get back to my American Express card please."

"Mother, you have a one track mind."

"I may have a one track mind, and right now it's on my American Express card."

"Our airline tickets cost $213.87 each, round-trip, including tax and fees. Our first piece of luggage is free. The total on your American Express card is $641.61. Everything else we told you is true and correct."

"If your father and I had a choice, we would still have fertilized your two eggs. You two drive me bananas."

The two girls looked at each other. Rebecca asked Deborah, "Do you want to take this one, or should I?"

"It's too easy for me, you do it."

"Okay. Mother, with all due respect, and honor as you are the head of this wonderful household; you do not need to drive to go bananas. Its not even a long walk. A few short steps will do it."

Sandra screamed. Deborah and Rebecca scattered, laughing at her reaction.

"There will be no more school for you two."

Deborah replied, "Is that supposed to be a punishment, or a privilege?"

"I'm sending you two to reform school in Louisiana. I hope you love the heat."

"Does that mean no more snow? No more freezing winters? I can go along with that. We will be model prisoners, and cause no one any problems."

"I hate you both."

"We hate you too mom."

"I'm going to cut your allowance in half."

"How can you cut something we don't receive?"

"I was thinking about giving you one."

"Is that like buying a gallon of milk, and leaving it at the store?"

"I need to get laid; you guys are too fast for me."

"I thought you said the only person you ever wanted to go to bed with was daddy."

"That's true, but you two really fucked that up, didn't you?"

"If we used that word, you would threaten to wash your mouth out with soap."

"I know, but it was the appropriate use of the word this time. Do you know what the word 'fuck' means?"

"It means two people having sex."

"It means no such thing. It's an aberration of the original meaning. In the Complete History of the English Language, the first definition of the word fuck is 'to plant a seed with a stick.' Anyone that tells you otherwise is an idiot."

"Becky, I can't wait to use that word on a term paper for Miss Chapelton. Her sandpaper panties will go wild, and she will kick me out of her class. I will spend the day in the principal's office. I will be able to prove to the principal that she is wrong. She will have to apologize to me, in front of her, for not knowing the appropriate use of the word. For an English teacher, that will be a bitter pill to swallow, and that will be a wonderful way to spend my day."

"Do you two spend the evenings plotting against adults?"

"Not always mom, sometimes we plot against the boys in our class, who think they really have their act together."

"Don't tell me, I really don't want to know."

"We don't give them wedgies, or anything like that mom."

"I'm so pleased to hear that, but don't tell me anymore, I may pray to go deaf."

"How would we tease you then?"

"You two would probably learn sign language, better than I know it."

"You give us too much credit mom."

"I always get in trouble, because I give you two too little credit. Go take your shower's, take care of your needs, and go to bed. You have terrorized me enough for today. Save the rest for your teachers tomorrow, while I try to recuperate, and prepare for whatever you have in store for me when you get home after school."