There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 29

"What did dad do in the winter?"

"He picked up the girls at the a skating rink."

"What happens if they didn't fall?"

"Deborah that was awful."

"It was the best I could do with that line."

"Why don't you two tell us what you have in mind?"

"We want mom to go with dad. She'll never be happy again otherwise. If we are studying, and look over at her, she has this sad far away look in her eyes. She is a one-man woman, and he's leaving for good. She has $210 million, and she won't spend a penny. Not can't, she won't spend a penny. All she could think about when we said we were coming here was the amount of money that was going on her American Express card. She was obsessive about it. What we'd like to know is if you would take care of us until we go away to college. We know we are pains in the ass, but we are not as bad as our father, we do go to school. If we study harder, we can even skip a grade and be out of your hair sooner."

"What do you think Joan? We always wanted two live in housekeepers?"

"What are we going to do when they start dating?"

"That's easy, birth control pills, and chastity belts made out of steel."

Joan asked, "How are you going to get your mother into the spacecraft?"

"You're going to tell her that you're going to see Joseph off. We want to go say goodbye to him also. The only problem is you are going to the Bahamas afterwards for golf tournament. Does she feel comfortable enough to have us fly alone back to St. Louis? You will take us to Houston, because that's your departure point for the Bahamas. Do you want to come down with us, or do you want the girls to fly back alone."

As soon as she decides she's coming with us, the rest is easy. If she decides that we are flying back alone, it's a little more complicated, but it will be done. The only thing we haven't heard is from the two of you. Are you willing to upset your lives for the next seven or eight years?"

"How much money are we getting?"

"Hell, you can have it all for all we care. We just want them to be happy."

"You two would give up $210 million to see your parents happy?"

"Our other grandparents forced them apart for 18 months. You have never seen two people more miserable in your lives than they have been. Trust me; it will be worth every penny for us to see them happy again."

"I believe you. Joan and I will take care of you for as long as you want to stay with us."

"We do have one condition, however."

"You are bargaining with us?"

"Always."

"Okay, what is it?"

"You have to teach us how to chase a little white ball all over God's green earth to put it into a little hole and say you won."

"You never win in a game of golf, you only play golf."

"How come they give out trophies?"

"You give out trophies and money to the guy who played the best over those four days."

"In other words you won."

"No, he played the best on those four days."

"If someone hands me a trophy and a check at the end the four days, I won."

"Sam get one of your trophies and hit her with it. That's the only way you're going to win that argument."

"Why don't you to go check on your mother?"

"Thanks grandpa, thank you grandma, they will be happy, very happy."

******************

Knock, Knock, Knock. "Mom, can we come in?"

"Why, so you can insult me again?"

"If that's what you feel we did, and we did it maliciously, we will spend the next three days in the bedroom, and come out when it's time to go back home."

Sandra didn't reply. Deborah and Rebecca went into their bedroom, closed the door, and took a book from their bags. They sat down on their bed, and began to read.

Hours passed until someone knocked on their door.

"Come in."

"Hi grandma."

"Would you please tell me what's going on?"

"We went to our mother's room and asked if we could go in. She said, "Why, so you can insult again?"

"I told her what we would do if that was what she thought of us, and here we are."

"This is nonsense. This is going to stop. I'm going to talk to you mother myself."

"Watch your head grandma; she may bite it off."

*************************

"Sandra, this is Joan may come in?"

"If you don't mind seeing how terrible I look, you can."

The room was dark. The blinds were closed. The drapes were pulled tight across the windows, and there were no lights on. Joan took care of that instantly by reversing the situation.

"Joan please don't do that, I looked terrible, and I feel worse."

"Why?"

"You heard what my children said about me. They embarrassed me in front of Sam and you. I don't mind when they do it in the privacy of our own home, but they went too far today. They made a private matter into a public joke. I will not stand for that, not from anyone."

"We are family Sandra; they didn't make it a public joke. What is said in a family situation stays within the family. You lived with your parents too long to realize it."

"Possibly, but it still hurt me deeply."

"Do you have any idea why your children brought you here for these few days?"

"They haven't seen you in a very long time, and with Joseph leaving, they wanted to make contact with you to make sure you knew they still loved you."

"You don't know your children at all Sandra. They didn't come for their own selfish reasons. They came here to offer us $210 million to watch them for the next seven years so you could be with Joseph. They didn't care about your money; all they cared about was your happiness.

All their antics were a way for them to keep you distracted from your misery. They saw it in your eyes every time they were doing their homework, and that's when they hatched this plan.

They didn't have a five-day weekend. They told the staff at school, they were going to Chicago to see their sick grandparent for a few days, and would be back on Monday. They didn't do it for themselves Sandra, they did it all for you, just to make you happy. What do you think about your children now?"

"I think I'll kill them, because there are always three steps ahead of me. I never know what they're going to do next. They are so smart Joan; they take after your son."

"Don't sell yourself short Sandra. You graduated college with a degree in Political Science. You put your degree aside, because of a baby, and help Joseph attain his dream."

"Loving Joseph made it very easy for me to make those decisions."

"Why don't we get back to the problem at hand? What are you going to do about your girls?"

"What is the waiting period to buy a handgun in Chicago?"

"Be serious Sandra, your two girls have been sequestered in their room, just as they said they would do, after you yelled at them. They haven't eaten, come out for water, or used the bathroom. What are you going to do about it?"

"Apologize. It's what they deserve, and I hope they accept it. They are great children, and they drive me crazy."

"If you don't mind my saying so Sandra, you don't need to drive to go crazy. It's not even a long walk, a few short steps will do."

After hearing a parody of her children's remarks to her about going bananas, Sandra started laughing. So did Joan. Sandra threw a pillow at her, and Joan threw it back with equal force and accuracy.

Sandra got out of bed, and hugged Joan for helping her get out of the funk she was in.

"Thanks Joan, I think I better see the girls now, before their kidneys start floating them away."

"You could always say they peed on the floor."

"I would never do that to them; but then again I might."

*********************

"Hey you two, can I come in?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No, I just want to beat the shit out of both you, but right now there is a door between us."

"Okay, while you beat up Rebecca, I'll call the airline, and change our tickets to go home."

"Will you please let me come in, and I'll beat you up first."

"I liked it better when you were beating up Rebecca. The door is unlocked mom."

"Why didn't you tell me that in the beginning?"

"Why didn't you try to handle? We never keep you out of our room."

Sandra went into their room and closed the door behind her.

"Becky, we are in trouble."

"No you're not; you are the most devious children in the world. You could sell the Willis Tower back to Sears for a penny, and make a profit. You confuse me at every turn. I never know what you two are going to do next. What your grandmother told me you did for me today was beyond anything I could ever have imagined. It never occurred to me to ask them to do such a thing. You offered them everything you could have ever had, in exchange for my happiness. How does anyone say thank you for that gift? I don't know how, and I never will."

"It was really easy mom. We ordered condoms from Amazon, and sent them to dad with a note. 'Make sure there's room for mom on the spaceship. She will be with you within two weeks, use these wisely. We will be staying with your parents, until we go to college. They will take care of us, and the money. All of us will be down to see you off. Love Rebecca, Deborah, mom, and dad.'

We knew we could talk them into it, especially when we demanded to learn how to play golf."

"You sneaky... how did you know they love to play golf?"

"It was the message on their machine. ' Going to play golf in a tournament in Palm Springs.' Leave your message, and will get back to you."

"You to leave nothing to chance do you?"

"Not when it comes to you mom. You've been hurt too much, and it's time for you to be happy again."

"Come to me you two, I love you so much."

A few seconds later, screams could be heard coming from the children's room.

Joan and Sam rushed to see what was going on.

"Mom stop, your crushing us to death."

Their grandfather said, "There are worse ways to go, and lunch is on the table."

"Let mom hug you grandpa, your ribs will never be the same."

"I have a feeling I am next on the list, actually I am last on the list. Your grandmother was first, and then came you two. The only one left is me. It's all right though, it's either a hug or the money, and I'll take the money anytime over a hug."

"You are a lying sack of bones Samuel. You already have more money in the bank than you could ever spend in your lifetime. I'll have Sandra put the money in my name only, so you'll have to settle for the hug."

"Oh well, I'll settle for the hug."

Sandra's hug did not disappoint. She also cried on his chest.

"No Sandra, no more tears, you have no idea how happy you are going to make my son. Why don't you go into my study and call him. The girls can speak to him later, and after they're done, we will talk to him."

She kissed her father-in-law, and was off. She dialed his home number, knowing that he worked the late shift. She was shocked when a woman answered the phone.

"May I speak to Doctor Finch please?"

"The Doctor is at the hospital, there was an emergency there."

"May I ask who you are?"

"My name is Sarah. I clean his house every two weeks. He is not exactly the cleanest man on the planet. I told him it would be better if I came every week, and it would be cheaper."

"Is that why his house was so clean when we were there."

"Are you Mrs. Finch?"

"Yes I am."

"He had me come two days in a row, before you came here. He wanted the house spotless before you stepped foot into it."

"That's sneaky bastard. He told us he kept the house like that every day."

"Mrs. Finch, your husband doesn't know where the broom is."

"Thank you very much Sarah. I'm sorry to say you are going to lose a very good customer on December 25."

"Yes I know, I'm hoping another Doctor moves in. They are all slobs."

"Goodbye Sarah, it was good talking to you."

She hung up the phone and called out, "Rebecca bring me my bag please."

Deborah brought her bag.

"Becky is still in the bathroom relieving herself."

"Your bladders were about full?"

"They had passed the full mark an hour before you came in. We kept our legs crossed for a long time."

"Why didn't you go to the bathroom?"

"We told you we wouldn't leave the room, so we didn't."

"Why is our entire family so obstinate?"

"Please mom, don't ever leave me an opening like that. You'll be chasing me through Grant Park for a year after hearing what I have to say."

"Okay I promise, but I am going to be sitting here wondering what you were going to say for the rest of my life."

"I have to leave mom. That's two for two, and if you give me a third one, I'll have a nervous breakdown if I have to pass it by."

"Okay, out with you so I can call your father."

Deborah ran out of the room, while Sandra dialed the hospital number.

"Temple hospital, how may I help you?"

"Doctor Finch please, this is his wife calling."

"One moment please.

"Emergency department how may help you?"

"Is Doctor Finch available, this is his wife."

One moment, I think he's resting in the doctor's lounge."

"If you tell me I have another patient, I'll kill you."

"You would have to travel a long way to treat this patient Joseph."

"I would travel to the stars to treat that patient."

"Did you get your daughters present from Amazon?"

"I did. I was sure it was a mistake because I hadn't ordered anything from them in a very long time. It was addressed to me, so I opened it. I nearly fell on the floor laughing, when I saw what was in it. I opened the wrong side, because the note was on the other end. Is it true, you're coming with me?"

Yes it is, thanks to two very sneaky children, and two wonderful grandparents. I had nothing to do with it. It hadn't even crossed my mind to ask your parents to do something like this. Your daughters knew they could talk your parents into this. They sent you that package at least a week before we came here. They offered them all the money we had in exchange for taking care of them until they went to college. Can you imagine that Joseph, our children cared more about our happiness, then they cared about all that money."

"They were always special children. We always treated them with love, respect, and kindness. They just repaid us the same way. When are you going to get down here, I have condoms now."

"Can I ask how many they sent you?"

"1000 extra large pre-lubricated florescent, multicolored condoms. I believe our children think I may need help in finding what I'm looking for."

"I can't wait to see my American Express bill. The airline tickets and the condoms."

"Baby, you are a very wealthy woman, what are you worried about?"

"I can't get it out of my head Joseph. For 18 months, I lived on $200 per month. I had to buy the children and myself clothes, gasoline for the car, and everything else. I guess I can't shake that image."

"When you come down here, I'm going to have some friends of mine take you shopping. You are allowed one suitcase, and I will not let you go into space wearing rags. Everyone else will be wearing finery, and so will you."

"Okay, I can do that as long as someone's beside me, but I won't be able to do it alone. Oh, by the way, Sarah says hello."

"Dammit, 7 weeks to go and I get outed."

"She called you a slob."

"Guilty as charged."

"How can you be a slob at home, and a perfectionist in the operating room."

"It's easy, everything you do at work stresses you out. When you get home all you want to do is relax. When nobody is around, I walk around naked."

"When I'm there, if you're walking around naked, you'd better have an extra large, pre-lubricated, fluorescent, multicolored condom on, because I will be naked too."

"I'm not going to have a turkey on my table for Thanksgiving. I'm going to have you there instead. I'm going to eat you from your toes to the top of your head. I'm going to turn you over, and do it again. Then I'm going to fuck you in the one place I have never done it before. I don't care if you scream bloodied murder, but I missed you so much, I'm going to take you, and take you, for leaving me. I remember the look on your face when you left the courtroom, and I'm going to wipe it out of my memory that day."

"Joseph stop that. I just came. The children and your parents want to speak to you. I'm going to have to change, because I'm going to smell like hell."

"Okay, put them on, but remember what I just said, because I am going to do it."

"I love you Joseph, I always have, and I always will."

"Rebecca, Deborah, your father wants to speak to you."

Before she handed them the phone she said, "Remember when you're finished, your grandparents want to talk to him."

"Okay already give us the phone."

They put the phone between them, and yelled, "Hi dad, getting any?"

She walked out of the study, and Sam and Joan were sitting in the living room.

"How is he Sandra?"

"I think stunned is a good word to use Joan. Did the girls tell you about the condoms?"

Sam said, "I think they were overly generous sending him 1000 of them."

"We are going to be away for a very long time. I believe over a period of 3 years, he will use them."

"My son is a very aggressive young man."

"With Deborah and Rebecca 11 months apart, he decided some kind of intervention was needed."

"He made a very wise decision."

"I guarantee you, when we enter an area of space where there is a lot to see, and study, and Doctor Luck says anyone who has the inclination to become pregnant can do so. Joseph and I will be the first ones in bed."

"Grandma, grandpa, dad wants to talk to you."

Sam went first, Joan said, "Get cleaned up, you smell like sex."

"Blame your son, he is quite the little devil."

***********************************

Note: I am told that I will be going back in the next cycle. The exact date is not been given to me so I am going to rush into chapter 30, and wherever I am at that point, I will post it before I leave.PD10/Bob