Thesis Topic 23

"Don't worry your name and image will be known only by me and my counselor for the rest you will be known only as YOUNG WOMAN #1. "

"OK. Deal"

Then she exchanged some personal data and Lillian took a photo of Karen alone in her slutty outfit and one with her as a proof.

Her next meeting with Barbara was a success, she applauded her bravery and told her that she expected that the project marched well from then on.

Lillian agreed with Karen to make the interviews at Karen's apartment. She shared it with another girl but she wasn't there during most of the day due to her job. The first couple of interviews where very useful for Lillian although she felt very uncomfortable because Karen always was dressed in scant clothing. She had managed to profile a good part of Karen's biography and academic life. Her mother had died when she was eleven and her father loved her but worked in a sea oil platform and came to land only a few weeks per year. She had been a pretty good high school student but it wasn't enough to get a scholarship. She studied accounting in a community college but she didn't graduate because she had to quit when the money got tight and she had gotten a full time job as a waitress. She felt trapped and lonely, her father was rarely home and most of her friends had gone to colleges outside her town. So one day she traveled to the west coast looking for better opportunities. Things hadn't improved much, she had had a few temp waitress jobs and she had danced in a strip club and had posed for a couple of nude photo shoots. The money was good and quick, so she was looking for more jobs in that vein.

When Lillian presented her interviews to Barbara, she was very pleased with her advance, even when it was still only superficial, it was promising and she already had a talkative research target.

On the third appointment Karen received Lillian wearing nothing but an almost transparent robe. Lillian thought that was just too much, "Listen Karen, it is important that you feel comfortable in our interviews but that attire is frankly outrageous. I know you are a slut but come on, you are practically naked, and the way you sit, well, you are not hiding anything. You must understand that we are not such close friends, you must wear more conservative when we met. Don't you have any jeans and t-shirts, like decent people?"

Karen felt a wave of humiliation and rage and exploded, "I can't do this anymore. You are what?, three years younger than me? and you are always patronizing me, judging me. You don't even know pornography and you try to explain why people acts in those films. You are a self centered bitch. The deal is over, go away"

Karen was not entirely convinced to stop the interviews but the reality was the money was less tight now that she had earned $200 and she thought that she had a better leverage to bring down that uppity bitch a peg or two.

Lillian panicked, that would return her to square one and she had a very tight schedule to end her thesis on time after all the weeks that she lost with her indecision. She admitted to herself that her outburst was really stupid and inopportune . She decided to control the damage so she could restart her work. She feigned repenting trying to tranquilize Karen.

"I am sorry, you are right. I was really insensitive.", but she could not avoid to transparent her real feelings and lack of interest, specially when she didn't even pause for Karen's reaction and said, "Could we continue now? I need to talk about the beginning of your sex life and ...."

"NO. Listen. ", now Karen was really pissed, "This little bitch is trying to manipulate me, let's see who has the upper hand", she thought.

"Lillian, you are analyzing me like if I were a lab animal, you are not even trying to really understand me at a really human level, you are just trying to comply with some academic requisite but you are asking me to bare my soul while you judge me and despise me. I really can't take it anymore. I quit.".

Lillian realized that the situation was turning really serious and pondered her options. She could bluff and accept that the deal was over and then maybe Karen would back off because she needed the money, but that was really risky, if Karen really backed off, she simply would fail her thesis, she just didn't have time to find another research subject, and catch up with the interviews, not to mention that losing her subject would look very bad to Ms. Barbara. No she had to cool down Karen and make some compromises in order to continue.

"I am really sorry. I accept my mistake, I will really try to understand you this time, and we can make the interviews in the way that you feel more comfortable. Could you still be my subject, please?"

Karen saw weakness and for a moment thought in saying no just to make her suffer but she managed to remain rational, take advantage of the situation and get some money and fun.

"OK, but it had to be under my rules"

Lillian didn't like her position but she kept herself focused on her goals, "I just have to interview this bitch three more times for 4 hours to complete the 20 hours required for the thesis. I can swallow my pride to get my goals", she thought, and said

"And what are those rules?"

"First. If you really are trying to understand this world, you have to know it. You will come here and look at porn for two hours in your laptop before the interviews. I will send you links and I will test you to know that you really looked at them"

"I don't think that is necessary..."

"Then you may go", said Karen hopping that she didn't.

"OK. Can it be half an hour, I am really very busy and ... "

"NO. I think it is very necessary so we can talk on a common ground. But I will make a compromise my self: I will wear jeans and a T-Shirt for the interviews"

Lillian saw a little victory and agreed on the two hours. "Maybe that bitch Ms Barbara would like me to know more about porn anyway", she thought.

"Second. When you are at my place you will wear what I tell you. Being the less dressed person in a place will help you get some of the feelings of the porno models that you are trying to analyze."

Lillian instinctively closed the upper button of her blazer, she was wearing a business attire as usual. That was just too much and unjustifiable and she decided to set a limit, "No Karen, I need to maintain my professional image, it is better for the interviews..."

"Bullshit, your image of authority is intimidating and a barrier for a better communication and you know it and you still don't want to empathize with me, you don't even dare to dress like me. You'll surely portray me as a degenerated monster and I don't want that". Karen eyes were teary and Lillian felt bad, maybe she was right.

"OK. I can do that. Just to make you feel better. It is not big deal".

Karen smiled slightly and said, "Thanks, Lillian I really appreciate it, maybe we can restart tomorrow on better terms. And don't worry it could even be fun".

The next morning Lillian arrived at Karen's department, she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and no makeup. She thought "Why bother?", She was received by Karen that was dressed very similar. Lillian was surprised, with this more standard attire Karen looked not different from Lillian's classmates. This time Karen leaded Lillian to her bedroom instead of the living room as usual. There over the bed was the same outfit that Karen was wearing the first time they met. Lillian blushed the symbolism was too much, but she shake out the idea and changed into it. She had to spare the bra because the tube top won't cover the straps and it would look worse than nothing. She was a bit shorter than Karen and a little bit flatter so the short and the tube top covered her a little more, still she had never wore anything that small, she even had to take off her granny panties because they showed over the shorts and under them. She was wearing high heels as usual trying to disguise her short stature, but now she regret it because using high heels with shorts looked extremely slutty, after a little hesitation she decided to go barefoot thinking she would look casual like just getting out of the bed. She looked at her reflection in a full body mirror that was attached to the bedroom door. "I look like a high school girl in a pajama party", she thought while biting her lower lip, "like a slutty high school girl". She was having second thoughts and had to summon all her courage to leave the bedroom. Karen immediately closed it with key, leaving Lillian's clothes locked inside.

Lillian felt a wave of apprehension being trapped in those slutty clothes, but she calmed herself thinking that nobody but Karen would see her and Karen knew she wasn't like that, that she wasn't a slut.

"Hey, You look great"

Lillian blushed, she hated the way she looked, it made her feel dirty and low class, but most of all she felt insecure, deprived from her make up, high heels and clothes she felt that she didn't portray the image of a self confident college girl who was near to finish her bachelor degree with honors instead she looked like a slutty high school girl, still she didn't want to contradict Karen. She didn't know what else to say so she just replied meekly "Thanks" while looking at the floor.

"Come on, you may work on the kitchen table. Check your email, I already sent your 'assignment' for today. I will back in a couple of hours for the interview. Enjoy"

She left a bunch of links and a long questionnaire. It looked like Karen had put a lot of work in this. First there was a list of 20 links, each one pointed to a video of a girl stripping, and some times touching herself. According to the questionnaire, Lillian had to say how the girl looked in terms of age, education and lifestyle. She then had to answer if the girl was aroused, ashamed or both. And explain why. She had to explain which videos were hotter and why. If the girl was masturbating, Lillian had to describe her technique. Lillian felt very strange, it was almost surrealistic, if anybody could see her now, they would only see a slutty girl barefoot and barely dressed with cheap clothes looking at internet porn in the deteriorated kitchen of a low class neighborhood apartment in the middle of the morning. She shivered, "I guess that no one of my classmates looks like this as they research for their thesis", she thought.

She shacked that thought away and concentrated in the task at hand. She really had to pay attention to be able to answer Karen's questions, but she managed to remain as detached from the pornographic scenes as possible by answering with technical words and clinical descriptions of the videos, her text was full of phrases like, "The blond girl looked probably lower middle class with no education beyond high school and manifested an intrinsic exhibitionism because in spite of her normal body reactions to embarrassment like her slight blushing, she nonetheless got sexual gratification from the exposure as noted by her obvious arousal.... The brunet cheerleader masturbation technique consisted mainly in the stimulation of the clitoris using a couple of fingers in a circular movement while the red head preferred a deep vaginal penetration alternated with the manipulation of her mammary glandes which seemed to be very erogenous for her".

When Karen arrived she grabbed the questionnaire and after a brief look, she stored it in a brief case that she had been carrying and they started with the interview. The interview proceeded more less normally except for a power shift with Karen taking more and more the authoritative role. It was maybe because of the weakness that Lillian had shown or maybe because the insecurity that her state of undress caused her, specially when Karen was fully and decently dressed. During the interview, Karen forbid Lillian to use technical words arguing that she could not follow the conversation but when Lillian offered to explain the meaning of the words Karen protested that she only was trying to make her feel ignorant. In the end Lillian agreed to avoid those words. Karen was amused and soon asked Lillian to stop using other words that she said were complicated. By the end of the interview Lillian was using mostly the language of a High school student.

After just an hour of interview, Karen said, "Listen Lillian, I am tired, these interviews are exhausting, I think that from now on we will keep them under one hour", seeing Lillian desperate face, Karen continued, "but we can have them daily if you want, and you may stay after the interviews, maybe you can get some things by just observing me instead of your tiresome questions".

Lillian thought about the implications, she had originally planned a couple of 4 hours interviews this week and one for the next.

"I need another 11 hours of interviews and I just have this week and the next to complete them. It is only Tuesday. Can you help me make this on time? "

"Don't worry , you may come on Saturdays too and I will give you an extra hour one day so you can complete it within time. I only have one condition: I am telling you all about my self and I don't know anything about you, I would like that you stay for a while, maybe an hour or something like that after the interviews, so we can share some time together. It would really make me feel more comfortable because the interview questions are getting more and more personal".

Lillian hated the deal. She would have to come daily for almost two weeks and comply with Karen's foolish rules and invest 4 hours for each hour of interview, but she didn't want to argue with her and risk worsening the situation, at least with this arrangement she won't delay her thesis.

"I would have to make arrangements with my internship job to enter at 13:30 instead of 13:00 for a few days".

---0—

The next day Lillian started a new routine. She arrived to Karen's apartment a few minutes before nine wearing her business outfit and carrying a bag with her makeup. She took off all of her clothes except a white bikini panty that she bought for the occasion so her panty didn't result bigger than her outer clothes like the previous day. Then she dressed in the tiny purple mini skirt and a short white thank top that left most of her abdomen visible and was made of a very thin fabric that barely covered her. She noticed that Karen had escalated the slut level of the outfit but didn't say anything, "If she wears this kind of attire in public I can be brave enough to wear it inside the apartment". The reality was that Karen had never worn these clothes outside her apartment, the outfit that she wore for the audition was in fact her most daring one, she bought it specially for the audition thinking that a slutty look would help her get the job. When she agreed to make the interviews with Lillian she felt a bit insecure, after all she didn't considered herself a porno model, yes she had made that photo session with Mark, but he probably didn't even sell it. As a matter of fact the audition where she found Lillian was her first one since she broke up with Mark. She decided that she needed the money and this research thing was a less stressful way to earn it, so in order to avoid Lillian to decide she wasn't a good research subject she thought that she needed to look more like a real porno actress, so she had gone to a second hand clothes store and had bought a few items that she considered helped her to look the part, including her transparent robe.

She had felt uncomfortable wearing those clothes in front of Lillian, but she imagined with amused satisfaction that the proud and mighty Lillian must be feeling much worse.

After locking her bedroom with Lillian clothes inside, Karen said, "I am leaving again, I have to keep looking for a job. I left you a new 'assignment', you may work in the kitchen, but this time remember to avoid using fancy words while answering the questionnaire, as a matter of fact you have to start using the porno vocabulary so we can understand each other better. So remember no more 'vagina', 'penis', etc. I want you to use real life words like pussy, cunt, dick, whatever suits you, just don't use medical words."

After that she left, and Lillian started her job again, just this time it was getting frustratingly hard to try to remain detached from the videos. First because the videos were getting more hard core, not that she hadn't seen things like that before, as a matter of fact she had seen porn as part of her sexual psychology classes, but having to comment them with crude words somehow crumbled her defense of coldness. She started writing things like, "The blond slut is surely a high school drop out and she blows a black man's dick mainly licking all over his dick and balls but he seemed to prefer the cheap whore looking brunette's job who swallowed his entire dick while touching her own fake big tits".

When Karen returned Lillian was completely absorbed in her task and was beginning to feel aroused. Thankfully she could hide her arousal and handed her answered questionnaire. Karen took a brief look at it and then stored it with the other one. Lillian managed to compose herself and interviewed Karen for an hour. She didn't advance all that she had planned maybe because she was a bit distracted and maybe because in her state she didn't want to talk much about sex for fear that her arousal returned. After the interview they chatted for a while and then watched tv until the agreed time. Then Lillian was allowed to dress in her business outfit and she expertly applied her makeup. In the end she looked maybe like a 23 or 24 business woman instead of her real age of 21 and far from the teenager slut image that she portrayed all morning. She went to her internship job, she was full of anticipation, it would be her first real day in the job.

The next day was pretty much alike but in the fourth...

Lillian had just changed and was wearing just blue bikini panties and a yellow t-shirt that went just a few inches bellow her tits. She was barefoot as usual and didn't wear makeup, her red hair was tied in a pony tail. She still preferred the just out the bed look because wearing makeup or shoes with these outfits would look absolutely slutty. She looked at her image in the full body mirror, this time however she surprised herself because her first thought was not how shameful she felt about dressing like that, which of course was still true, still this time she could not avoid to think, "How would I look with bigger tits". She felt more ashamed of this thought than of her state of dressing. She had always despised that kind of thinking that she believed belonged to women that let themselves to be objectified by a misogynist society that established a standard of beauty for them.

"What am I thinking? I am an independent woman not some eye candy for a bunch of bastards. All this porno is getting into my mind but it only will make me more resolute to fight against sexism", she said to herself. Just then Karen entered the bedroom and said, "Lillian, I want to ask you a favor, you know as a friend. You may say yes or no, I won't push you or anything to get it.", Karen paused for a few seconds but Lillian made a sign for her to continue, "You know I have been looking for job, not only the audition, I have applied for several waitresses jobs and for a few clerical position. Then I found this add about a position in an accounting department, they offer a good pay and I know I am fully qualified but I don't know if I look the part and I am very weak at job interviews. I don't know if it is because of my looks or the way I talk but they usually don't take me seriously, if the interviewer is a man he could even flirt with me and I confess that I had slept with more than one of them hopping to be hired but it never happens", she sighed deeply and then said, "The interview is in three hours, I know I am a good candidate, and you work for a personal department, you must know some tricks. Can you help me?"