Twins in Mind and Body 03

"That means you Tayna," Jenny said.

"You too Mary," Tayna said after sticking her tongue out at Jenny.

"Anyways," Suzi said raising her voice. "Lose yourself in the pleasure Cathy. I will lead you back. I will begin... I am a creature of pleasure."

It took a few times for Cathy to fall into the rhythm and drift from orgasm to orgasm. The words sunk in and became her reality. She lived for pleasure both her sisters and her own. But most of all her goddess and mother came first. When she came back she had forgotten all except the mantra. The rest was blocked off by the other entity inside her.

She knew when her daughter allowed Cathy back to awareness. Waiting a moment longer, Suzi said, "Your name is Cathy, you like your sisters love latex high heels and bondage. Not just your own but your sisters also. Family comes first always remember that. You may now have your histories and what memories you wish returned."

"Thank you goddess," Cathy said.

Thinking this goddess thing was getting out of hand with first Alie and now Cathy, Suzi asked, "Who thinks of me as her goddess?" Eight hands rose. "Daughters?" Eight hands rose again.

"Mother, you are our creator. Ergo you're our goddess." Jenny said speaking for her sisters.

"Very well, all of you may continue to consider me your goddess. However, keep the thought to yourself and your sisters. I am your mother and sometime mistress. The rest of the time I am your sister. Unlike me you need to eat human food. Go now and eat. I will get my nourishment under the table while you eat." As her daughters and sisters ate, she in turn fed from them.

When they and she were finished she got up and said, "I made a bet with your sister over there." She gestured to Tayna, "If I made her pass out she would spend 6 hours watching us make love to each other without cumming. If she won, I would spend six hours with her alone while you played without us."

"You lost?" Darla asked before anyone else could.

"Yes, she played opossum and faked me out." Suzi said. "What can you say." There were a few giggles at that so she added, "So while you are ravishing Cathy, you can enjoy the fact that Tayna and I will be playing solitaire."

"What?" Tayna exclaimed which brought more giggles.

"Sister, always and I mean always read the fine print." Cathy said, "Even I know that."

"Come along Tayna," Suzi said holding out her hand. To the others she said, "Use my bedroom and we will see you later." She led Tayna up the stairs and to the first room that had a bed larger than a single. Once the door was closed behind them she looked at her and pointed to the floor. Unspeaking the girl knelt and waited for what was to come.

"We will play and enjoy ourselves because you won. But before then, I want to know why?" Suzi said kneeling before her.

"Why? I wanted some time alone to make slow passionate love to you. Not mistress, not sister, not mother nor goddess. I wanted to make love to my twin." Tayna said softly. She dropped her eyes.

"I figured that part out Taytay," Suzi said tenderly. "Why did you really stop? Mom would not have cared; she loved it when her two girls greeted her. Knowing it was wrong... that doesn't fly, we weren't even in first grade. So again I ask why?"

"Because I loved you too much." Tayna said not meeting Suzi's eyes. "I resented Tommy."

"If you loved me too much and resented him, you would have taken me deeper. Mom would have loved it. She resented him too. Tayna, I need you to say the real reason. You need to face the real reason. Must I ask my daughter to reconstruct those memories?"

"no..." Tayna whimpered. "I hated her."

"Why did you hate me?" Suzi asked softly.

"Can't you see?" Tayna said raising her eyes. "Even now, you are more beautiful than I can ever be. You are every bit as beautiful as you were playing dress up. Then you took my playmate away from me. All she wanted to ever do was play with Suzi and not Tayna. I hated Tommy for being mom's good girl. God I hated Suzi with all I had." She found she was standing over Suzi and that she had yelled the last at the top of her lungs.

She watched as Tayna turned and fled to the other side of the room with her back turned. "That is only part of it. The childish emotions run from one extreme to the opposite with no middle ground." She stopped. "Why then every Halloween did you insist that I come back for that one-night sister? You hated me with a passion and yet, I trick or treated with you as Suzi and not Tommy."

"Because I missed you, I missed my twin sister," she said not turning around.

"Tayna face me, come kneel across from me." When the girl didn't move she added, "Please Taytay." The girl turned and slowly walked back and knelt with her head down before her. "If you missed me, why didn't you ever say so? You had to know I was still there."

"Oh I knew, my shoes makeup and dresses mussed up. My bras and panties somehow getting mixed up with yours." She gave a small sad laugh. "Oh I knew all right sister. But I couldn't face him and say what I wanted."

"What did you want? You have to say it Tayna. Let it out, it's the only way."

"I wanted my sister back. I wanted Suzi and not Tommy."

"Tayna, you're still not facing it. Until you do you will still be unhappy. Why did you want your sister back and why you did you never say so? Face it please. I won't order you to, or even do the other I spoke of. For our sake, say it aloud."

"I wanted to see if she was still mom's good girl and more beautiful than I was. She was in both cases. Every Halloween she would come out and be a princess or a farie, while I ended up a hag or bag lady by comparison. Everyone praised how beautiful you looked and I got spit. Tommy had brains, Suzi had beauty and Tayna got squat." She raised her head and looked at Suzi, "Is it any wonder that I hated you both with all I had. I prayed you two would just die so I could be the pretty and smart one for once and for all." Her voice turned ugly, "I did all I could to keep Darla and the other girls away from you to hurt you for being all that I lacked. A lot of good it did me, look at you now... I have eight sisters who love and worship you. Their good girl..."

"What about now? How do you really feel?" Suzi prompted softly.

"You have to ask? I love you with all my heart. I have resigned myself to being just another cow in your herd. It's just hard to see my sisters worship the ground you walk on and knowing I will never be loved or praised as you are." Tayna had to look away from Suzi's understanding and calm face, "I know you will always be the favored one who is smart and beautiful. But I don't have to like having my nose rubbed in it every moment of my life. Hell even my companion worships her mother and all I am is a warm body to live in." She lost it again, "Quit being so calm and understanding. Be human for once!"

"Okay it hurt me to quit playing. It hurt knowing I had a twin sister who loved me and then suddenly turned her back on me. I died inside knowing you despised me and now I wish I had never been born. Then you would have been the favored and only child. Then all of this would never have happened." Suzi said. She got up and walked to the bed. "I had thought we would have it out, make up, and have a long loving cuddle. Ending with us making love, tender gentle love to who we really are; not the parts we must play." She sat down with her back to the bed and looked at were Tayna still knelt. "I never wanted to hurt you Tay. But it seems my very existence did so. I'm sorry."

For a long time, nether spoke. Finally, it was Suzi who said, "If you wish to leave, I won't stop you. If you would rather I die, then I will gladly do so for you. Please guide me Tayna."

"I can't leave... there is no place out there for me. Furthermore, you can't take your life, it would kill all here and then I would end up being the stupid ugly duckling who killed her sisters." Tayna said sadly. She turned her head to look at Suzi, "You know they are all outside the door listening and waiting fearfully."

"Yes...But they know that this is between us and will not enter. What now?"

"Make me forget make me forget it all."

"No, even if I did, your sisters know and it would come back to you."

"Then the only thing left is for you or one of them to kill me," Tayna said dropping her head. "Let me die and end my torment."

"No!" Suzi said loudly. "Don't go there Tay. I love you and shit... I would ask for guidance from any outside the door but they can't look at it rationally. As you say, they would take my side." She paused and then asked, "Daughter, can you erase her hurt and guilt?"

"No mother, she and I agree on that account. Perhaps you could but I do know how to separate the memories and guilt. Not to mention the love and hate aspect at the same time." Tay's voice replied.

"So much for an easy solution," Suzi said standing. She went to the door and opened it. "You might as well come in." She waited until the last entered and said, "If you pick one side and rant at the other I will seriously be pissed." She looked at Jenny, "You know what I am like when I am pissed. Do you want to live through that again?"

Jenny shuddered, "No sister never again."

"My twin sister and I have a problem and do not see a solution other than one or the other's death." Suzi said softly. "I will not allow her to die and she will not allow me to die so we are stuck. She cannot leave because as she says there is nothing out there for her." Suzi looked at the seven who were watching her, "Help us."

"Punishment harsh and cruel as can be and still survived." Alie said in a whisper.

"Damn it Alie, I said not to see this as a problem between mistress and slave," Suzi replied turning on her.

"Not Tayna... you," Alie said not daring to look at her.

There was a shocked silence and then Cathy spoke up, "I think I see sister. Tayna must take out all her hurt and anger at..." She glanced at Suzi before continuing, "...the target of her angst. Once she is done she will have purged it from her system and can begin to heal."

"But will she really feel it and suffer? If not then just have Tayna use a pillow for all the good it will do," Darla said.

"You must pull yourself into a tight ball and not interfere or help me," Suzi said softly to herself.

"My pain must be real to help Tayna." As her skin thinned and became flesh colored she said aloud, "My other part will not interfere or help she is withdrawing from my mind and body and will only keep me alive. It will be real Darla."

"All must agree on your own." Suzi stood and went out into the hall and knelt with her head lowered. "Who does a goddess pray to? Who do I beg for my twin sister to be healed?" She cried softly feeling alone.

"It's hard to be the dominate. A submissive just has to follow orders and has one focus in her world. Her mistress or master as the case may be. But the dominate has to lead, make every decision and keep herself and her submissive whole and happy in an uncaring world," Jenny said softly behind her. "I could not handle the pressure and cracked. None of us could. Each of us cracked under the strain and ran in our own ways. Only you rose above it and took the responsibility not just for me but for all of us." She paused and then added, "And are about to be rewarded for your hard work by..." Jenny sobbed and could not finish.

"It has been agreed with one disagreement. We are deadlocked." Kari said coming out into the hall.

"Jenny just agree... Let Tay have her healing." Suzi said.

Jenny just sobbed and did not reply.

"You would pay the same price to heal your sister's pain." Suzi said. Standing she turned to face them. After a moment she said, "What will be done must be done by all. All work out your pain and hurt on me. No one must pass. There will be no hard feelings between you over this. This is not a request it is a command. If you are to agree then you must be willing to cast the stone also."

She turned on Jenny, "You know you resented me even as you loved me. Here I was a kid and knew more about your field then you could never know. I saw it when I showed you my lab. Hell you didn't even understand half of what I was talking about. You looked like a dear in a car's headlights."

"Yes.. yes..." Jenny said hiding her face.

"It chewed at you Jenny and the only way out for you was for total submission to my will. But the resentment is still there. Not as bad as Tayna's but only because she has had more years of it without no escape. You loved me as me but hated me for my science." Suzi turned, "And you Mary, shall we talk about how Tommy took away your good girl? The hate was so strong it chewed at you with every look at his face. You saw me and he killed me by his existence."

Suzi laughed coldly, "Darla you wanted me so to hide it, you ripped into me and used everything you could to make me hate you. That way you didn't have to deal with loving an outcast and science geek." Tears flowed as she opened their wounds to force them to face them. "Bunny... you hated Jenny because she had me and you had no chance to take me away. Your love for me rotted and turned into hate. You hated me. Kari on the other hand, was a simple gold digger. I could handle you wanting to get close so you could steal my work and sell it. But it was beyond you and like Jenny the greed turned into hate because I knew and understood more biology than you, a doctor."

"The only two here who did not want to screw me were Cathy who destroyed herself by not speaking of her love and Alie who turned her hurt inside and showed the world a happy face while she died inside. Once here though they were infected with the poison that runs through your minds. And they too started to resent me." Suzi looked at them and added, "Of all you were the ones who saw the only path open and that was only because Alie submitted last night and Cathy this morning."

"How can you submit to someone who you despised?" Suzi said. "Jesus H. Christ just do it already and burn the hate and resentment out before I take matters into my hands and you find you can't bring me back again."

They swarmed her and half beat her to death. The next thing she knew; she was strung up in the basement. Tayna was holding a whip and her face was a mask of hate as she swung it. She screamed in pain. It was worse than anything she had imagined. She screamed until she lost her voice and still Tayna whipped her. Finally, it stopped and she saw her twin drop the whip and turn away. Mary picked it up a broom handle and continued the torment. On and on it went each whipping or striking her until they were exhausted and turned away. When she passed out, they stopped and threw a bucket of water on her to revive her before continuing.

Then they left her hanging limply in a haze of pain. Suzi heard someone moving and saw Tayna move to stand before her. "I forgive you sister, your good looks and intelligence." She paused and then added, "That much worked. But you are dying, we all know it." She looked down, "Who do you pray to when your goddess dies?"

"At least you and your sisters will live." Suzi said hoarsely.

"Heal yourself goddess," Tayna said suddenly. "Just heal yourself and end the suffering."

"Can you?" She asked her other side. "I can keep you alive. But the rest... it is too much mother." "Do what you can." Aloud she said her hoarse voice gaining strength, "I will live. Gather your sisters and bring them to me."

She waited until they were all kneeling before her with their heads lowered. "Look at me," she commanded. "Anyone need another round?" She asked. Her voice gave out at the end and as she continued was nothing more than a harsh whisper, "Finish it now because I can't go through this again later." When none spoke or moved she said, there is one last act you must do before leaving me down here alone to heal. You must cut me down." Again no one moved. "Come now, you know how much you will love watching me fall on my destroyed legs and to the floor. You can laugh and dance at your destroyed goddess as she lies in her own blood and unable to do more than keep alive."

They just looked at her, tears rolling down eight set of cheeks and not moving. "Damn it say something. Hate me love me but don't kill me with your silent tears." She paused feeling her own tears starting, "Is it forgiveness you are looking for? Yes you have it. Hell I begged you to destroy me. I forgive you for doing what I pushed you into doing. Just end it. Cut me down and let me suffer in peace."

Jenny stood and went up to her, "Forgive me for this." She hugged Suzi tight and nodded as Kari went over and released the rope. She held her lover up as her arms dropped down brokenly. The scream, though hoarse tore at her heart. As gently as she could she and her other sisters who rushed forward to help laid her on the bloody floor. Her mistress was breathing hard and her eyes were screwed shut but she didn't make a sound as they straightened her arms and legs.

"Let us heal you," Tayna said softly. "Please..."

"No..." Suzi managed to get out. "You can set my bones as best she can but that is all." She managed to open the one undamaged eye and focus on Tayna, "I'm sorry I fucked up our six hours alone."

"We must move you. I'll not let you lay here in your own blood." Kari said, "Mary, take the others with you and prepare the sick room. Jenny go figure out how to make a stretcher to carry her up two flights of stairs."

"No do it here Kari..." Suzi said.

"No... I will not let you die of an infection picked up on a dirty floor. Sister don't ask me to betray my codes as a doctor." Kari said. She waited until they were alone before saying, "Are you happy Suzi? You pushed our buttons until we were crazed and not able to think rationally. I never wanted your work. I never wanted more than to love you. The same goes with all my sisters. You pushed Tay to face her deepest pain and found it more than you could handle. You were over your head and punishment was the only way and you knew it before we walked in. You set us up, every single one of us. Why? Why have you nearly destroyed us?"

"You heard Jenny she hit the nail on the head." Suzi said softly. "I am eighteen years old, a science geek with no friends and despised both at home and school. I have a lab accident and it cascades until I have eight others who depend on me for everything. As if my cup wasn't overflowing, the eight think of me as a living god. Oh wait let's not forget I was male and now fully female. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that?" Speaking that long took it out of her and she had to squeeze her eyes shut in pain.

Kari was saved from trying to answer by Jenny returning with a blanket and her sisters. "It's the best I could come up with," Jenny said.

"This is going to hurt mistress. Please forgive us this pain also." Kari said. "Lay it out and roll the sides towards the middle until there is about 20 inches in the middle." She paused, "Mother would you rather I find something to put you out while we move you?"

"No daughter, we will live through it. Please get a gag that will silence me." The less said about the move the better. She was lucky that she passed out as they rolled her onto the blanket. When she woke she was in the bed lying on her back and still gagged but at least alone.

Downstairs, in the living room, in the circle, Kari told her sisters of her talk with their goddess. "I was saved by Jenny returning because I didn't have an answer for her. I still don't. While you are milling on that, Mother is only alive because of her will and companion." She paused and then said, "One of you must come help me set her bones. It will be hard to take but I need help."

"I'll go," Jenny said softly.

"No sister but it has to be me," Tayna said softly. "I started with her down this road. I must walk to the end. Her words not mine." She stood and followed Kari up the stairs and into the bedroom. "Remember me?" She said meeting her sister's eyes. "I couldn't resist giving you one last dose of pain first hand sister."