Vision Ch. 03

Went on and on about how you helped him set up his own furniture reproduction and upholstery shop and found him clients and used your home as a showroom for his products for the website and that as a result he's busy and happy, even in this economy, says once a year he prods you until you come up with new designs.

Says you helped Lili open a garage and purchased her house and cars for them as well and started trusts for your niece and two nephews. He told me about the charity work you do with meals on wheels. He told me about the trust you started for high school girls wanting to go to college but not quite having the grades to compete and how you mentor and help them out.

That you are the strongest but strangest woman he knows even if you are his sister. He said basically what I'm starting to know for sure, that while you seem to range from salty-tart to bitter, that one only has to be willing to scratch the surface to see how sweet and genuinely very kind you are and that you carry too much on your own shoulders."

She laughs in astonishment and sits back in her chair.

"I am not sweet, believe me. Clearly Lenny and I need to have a talk about family solidarity. Little bastard practically told you my life story."

"He gave me the standard protective brother speech though really he seems a little scared of you."

"Yeah? Well he ought to be, he's got it coming when I catch up with him."

"I told him I would handle it."

Her eyes flicker up and down the length of me. "So, you're delusional?"

"I don't mind handling you."

"Oh, Fuck You."

"Yes, please."

She gives a narrow eyed smirk as I slide the cake towards her.

"Go on, you know you want some."

She picks up her fork and digs in and closes her eyes and groans in bliss and sips her espresso. "I looove cake."

"Is that right?"

She nods. "As lovely as this is, you are not off the hook for discussing me behind my back. I don't like it."

"Objection noted."

"Look, you!" She stabs the fork in my direction.

"So you're gonna eat my cake and still mouth off?"

"I don't see why not." She continues eating, looking smug.

"Oh and Lulu, he told me one last thing."

Her fork pauses.

"He said your birthday is a few months away. They've got plans for you." I laugh at the expression on her face.

"I hate my birthday."

"He told me that too. So how old are you?" I sing to her like the little kids do.

"I'm surprised he didn't tell you that too. I'll be 30, August 21st."

She stops and really looks at me. Cocking her head to the side slightly frowning.

"Dax, how old are you?"

"I turned 41 on April 1st. You were there. Remember?"

"April Fools Day, how apropos. I guess I missed the birthday question and answer portion that day. I mean I already knew how old you are. But . . ." she's looking pointedly at my hair.

"I've had gray hair since I was twelve. My father's side grays prematurely. It really started coming in after the hurricane. Is that a problem, my being older than you?"

"No, it's fine. It's just age, just years, they don't mean that much."

"Spoken like someone with time on their side."

"It's not time to get you a life alert device yet but really, 30? 40? What's the difference? It's not like I'm 21."

She sighs. I think I know what's on her mind.

"30 is not old. There's still plenty of time for children."

Her face hardens a little.

"Not an issue. I'm not having any."

She gets up and quickly and begins clearing the table.

That stops me. I'd love to have a little Lulu or Dax running around someday. Looking at those hips she's certainly built for it, for lots and lots of babies. But if it were just the two of us forever, I think she'd be more than enough.

"I want you. Just you. Children would be nice too but it's really not crucial."

Where in the hell did that come from? Is that a true statement? I think about it and know that I entirely mean it. She jerks back in shock but quickly shakes her head.

"Be that as it may, I am not for the having. Your first thought was children, so don't sit there and tell me they aren't crucial. Already we're not on the same page. Besides, children are the least of it. You're White, Catholic, a military man and a co-worker! You couldn't be more wrong for me."

"Stop it right now. We were getting along just fine until I mentioned children. A) I'm not as 'white' as you think. B) I'm a former military man and a lapsed liberal catholic. So what? And C) I can't help being a coworker. The one time I hinted at quitting you threatened to sue me for breach of contract."

She sighs and rubs her temple like her head hurts.

"Not as white as I think? What the hell does that even mean? This has gone far enough, too far really. It's been . . . nice, but I think you should go home."

Her reaction is a little over the top. Maybe she's still just tired and irritable.

"Don't take on so now. We're just starting to know each other. Let's just talk about this thing."

"We talked, and we're done."

"You mean, you're done."

Her face hardens further. How can she be so beautiful and menacing at the same time?

"You're done too. I asked you to leave my house."

I go to take her hand and she quickly swats me away. I've seen her temper and Lenny mentioned something about blackout rage fits as a child. Eyeing the cast iron pans I'm thinking we shouldn't be in the kitchen. I go to reach for her again and she bats my hand away. I move one hand like I'm about to touch her again and she doesn't follow the movement of my hand she watches my eyes. She's a fighter.

"You need to leave, now."

I just want her to stop and listen. This is going to be difficult. I do not want to manhandle her. But I'm going to have to a little bit. I quickly grab her and spin her around and pin her against the kitchen counter. She quietly asks me to release her, she's breathing quietly but her muscles are tense, if I let her go she may very well try to deck me.

"Behave. I just want to talk to you."

She says ok, but I can feel the tension in her left shoulder and the minute I go to let her go she's going to swing at me, and sure enough she does just barely grazing my chin as I move outside her reach.

"Alright Lou, have it your way, I'm going."

I back out of the kitchen hands up as she advances with diamond hard eyes. We reach the door and I notice that while she still looks angry, her eyes are welling up. Seeing my chance I grab her. She resists. Tries to knee me in the crotch. Thank god she's not taller or that would have really hurt. I hustle her over to the sofa and hold her arms and legs for what seems like ever. Just lying on her seems to calm her I feel the tension slowly leave her muscles.

"My arms hurt."

I immediately release them. "Am I too heavy?"

"No."

I hear her voice catch and turn up her face to look at me, she looks on the verge of tears but all the fight is gone from her. I sit up and take her with me as I sit back on the sofa and just stroke her back and kiss her forehead. We drift off a little. It's dark when we wake up to the sound of the answering machine.

"Lulu, it's Lili. I'm still at Lenny's just checking on you, Lenny said you looked worn out. I'm glad you finally got some. The world is now a safer place. Call me I want details. Love you."

"See look a'there, your brother and sister are all for it."

She looks at me and sighs. "I had a good time Dax, really. But we are in different places. If I'd met you a few years ago, who knows . . . but as it is, I am who I am and you are who you are. I don't do relationships, but maybe we can hang out sometime."

"So you're saying no?"

"There's nothing to say no to at this point and that's for the best. We caught it before it got too far."

"You won't even think about it?"

"I have thought about it. Right off you mentioned children; that's a deal breaker. I won't go into it right now but it's taken me a long time to stop railing against what I am versus who people expect me to be and be comfortable with it. I have to say though the sex was amazing. I'd be willing to continue that from time to time." She looks at me hopefully. I can feel my own temper rising a bit.

"Absolutely not. I want you and not just for sex. I've not exactly been a choir boy all my life, so Perhaps this is karmic retribution, but we are not going to be fuck-buddies, lady. I've done that and it ends badly."

"Well clearly I can't give you what you need. There's nowhere to go from here."

"Why are you dictating to me? I am not a child."

She sighs and walks to the door and opens it. "Thank you for this weekend." She stands there poised and business like. I guess I'll run into you around the office."

"Seems inevitable."

"Goodnight Dax."

Exasperating as hell. "Fine then! Good night Lou."