What Kind of Man I Am Ch. 01-04

"Oh yeah. Everything looks and tastes really good. And instead of relaxing afterwards, we burn off all the calories getting umm wild."

She raised her eyebrows again.

"Playing games!"

"I will definitely have to go next time. I would like to go wild."

"Yeah. That would be great. I better check on Kixx. Have a good night Theresa."

"Thank you Chip. You too. Thank you for the teddy bear."

She reached out and gave my arm a squeeze. You better run Chip. I turned and headed down the sidewalk. I was 10 feet away from the Jeep when I heard her speak again. I started to look back over my shoulder.

"Oh. By the way. I don't think I own a pink teddy."

Zing. I stopped and faced her.

"Your killing me Smalls! Your really killing me!"

Cappy has a question.

"Chip! Ask her what color are her panties!"

I chuckled the rest of way to the Jeep. Chel came out a few minutes later and we headed for home.

I didn't need a shower, but I need to be in the shower! I stripped and grabbed Joan's lotion bottle off the counter.

I took a generous amount of lotion in my hand and applied it to the length of my cock. I began to stroke it, being careful not to get lotion on the head. Lotion or soap getting in your penis is not a pleasant experience.

I couldn't really focus on one woman as I began to fantasize. Fucking Tiffany from behind in the fitting room? In and out of her tight pussy. Carrie on my lap. Riding my cock and feeding me her breasts? I'm holding Lori's long legs spread wide. Pounding her pretty little pussy with a red triangle above it. Theresa jacking me off and spraying cum all over her breasts in a pink teddy. Oh fuck. So good. mmmmmmmm. Fuck yes.. My slick lubricated cock erupted with three long streaking shots all over the shower wall again. Even more came out, but most of that dripped off me onto the floor. Holy shit! That's what happens when your turned on all day.

I bet there's supplements you can take to enhance how much you cum. I made a mental note to do that. Cause it feels real good to cum that long.

Once I got my legs back, I took the cap off the lotion bottle. I got as much cum as I could in the bottle, leaving whatever I couldn't on the wall again. After I dried off, I grabbed the bottle and returned it to it's spot. Enjoy!

You know, her primo expensive water bottle is metal. I could give her large protein boosts to get her through the day. Yep!

Wednesday August 16, 2017

I woke up and oh my god! I can't sit up. My stomach was too sore and I had to roll out of bed. Stupid sit ups. Hopefully once I'm up and moving everything will loosen up some.

I headed outside in a really good mood. Started up the Jeep and turned on the tunes.

The drive to work flew by. I sprayed some AcQua on after I parked. I had all the colognes still in the Jeep.

I had only been at my desk 15 minutes rockin' out when Carrie, Lori, and Kimberly came in and closed the door. Carrie took the lead.

"What do you have for us today?"

"And now three?"

"Oh, yes. Kimberly caught your scent yesterday and said wow! We explained what you were doing and she said she would like to help."

Kimberly was one of the teams assistants. She was married, in her late 30's and had shoulder length blond hair. Her large breasts rivaled Carrie's in size and she had a nice heart shaped ass. Did I hire all these women?

"Okay. What the hell. This is Acqua Dio Gio."

I got up and walked over to the group.

Carrie spoke up first.

"Mmmmmm. This is one is very good. I say an 8 plus. Yesterday's was a 10 and will cause too much trouble at work."

Nodding heads. Maybe I want trouble. Is it not my duty to face the peril? A vision appeared in my head of all my female staff in pink teddies and me in the middle of a Monty Python skit.

"Yes. Yes. You must give us all a good spanking. And after the spanking, the oral sex!"

Lori snapped me out of it.

"I agree it's an 8 plus for now. It's yummy."

Kimberly stepped closer and smelled me.

"Maybe a 9 for me, I really like it. Very manly on you."

Carrie apparently has taken the leadership role of the cologne trials.

"We should probably check on it later in the day to see how you bond with it. Right now it's an 8.5."

"Okay for work?"

"The day just started boss. By the way, we like your hard rock."

The girls all giggled. I was taking that in a totally inappropriate way.

"Thank you ladies."

We broke up and went back to work. Most of my office time I could work with very few interruptions. Today someone needed me every 30 minutes. I have 7 people on my team, 6 of which were women.

I was wondering if Carrie had involved all the ladies in the testing. It made for a interesting afternoon. It seemed more shirt buttons were undone as the day went on. A quick vision in my head of Carrie and Kimberly mashing their breasts against each other with my cock between their lips! It's too perilous!

My three ladies came back in to my office at around 4 PM and officially announced that Acqua was a 8.75 and somewhat safe for work. I didn't press what somewhat safe for work meant.

I walked out the front door with a big smile on my face and arrived home about 5:45 PM. Both the kids came to me and wanted to have friends sleep over. We compromised and Kixx could spend the night at his friend and Chel would have Becky over tonight as long as it was okay with Mom. Joan came home around 6:10 PM and I was in the bedroom changing. I was naked with my cock hanging large and in charge. After work I like to wear shorts and hang free. Joan eyed it as she walked by to the bathroom. She started talking to me from the bathroom.

"I talked to the kids and I'm good with your sleepover plan. How was your day?"

I drooled on some cleavage. I thought about spanking and oral sex a lot.

"It was pretty good. Yours?"

"Long. I still need to look over some emails. Are you wearing cologne?"

"Yep. what do you think?"

"I like it. Hey, can you handle dinner so I can go change into some comfy cloths and work on the emails."

"Yeah. I got it."

Civil is good. Most the time she would just do what she wanted and expect me to handle it.

I didn't like the feeling I had. She looked like she wanted to get comfy with my dick and I wanted no part of her lying ass. I dressed and headed for the kitchen.

Kixx was headed out for his friends and Chel went to go get Becky. I decided on making tacos tonight and started cooking the hamburger.

I needed Matty to get me out of here tonight. I grabbed my phone and texted Marty.

"I need out of the house tonight. Joan saw the Captain when he was hanging large. You have any ideas?"

"I'll call you at 7 sharp. Be near Joan at 7 exactly!"

We were all at the dinner table 7pm. I was putting bowls of food out so everyone could make there own tacos. My phone rang and I answered.

"Hey Matty."

"Is she right there?"

"Yeah, not much. Chel is having Beck spend the night. We were just about to sit down for dinner. Why what's up?"

"So Chel, Becky and Joan are all at the table. Okay, this will work out well. Put me on speaker."

I switch my phone to speaker and move to the table.

"Hi Joan, Chel, Becky."

"Hey Uncle Matty."

"Hi Matty"

"You guys are having a slumber party and I wasn't invited?"

"You can come over any time Uncle Matty. But we're watching chick flicks and painting our nails."

"That sounds awesome. Jacy can I go over to Chip's house instead?"

"No. Hi guys.

"Hi Jacy."

"Joan, can we borrow Chip to move some furniture tonight?"

"Sure, no problem."

"You must be excited to have some peace and quiet when these 2 knuckleheads go to Vegas next week."

"Absolutely."

"I'm right here!"

"Can he come cover after dinner?"

"Sure."

"Great. Bye guys."

I took the phone off speaker.

"I'll be over in a little bit."

"Does she still look like she is going to drop to her knees?"

Matty started making some crude blow job slurping noises. Jacy yelled.

"Matthew!"

"Not really."

"Later fucker."

I walked in Matty's house at 7:30pm.

"Just in time man. We are trying to get a plan for the bedrooms. The spare bedroom can be yours. I need your help clearing out the furniture in the other 2 bedrooms. We can leave the desk in Chel's room. We would just need to buy some beds and dressers."

"Thanks. You guys were going to do all this for me and the kids?"

"Chip. We know Joan pretty well too. In light of the evidence, slim chance she comes clean. You can feel it too right?"

"Yeah. I do. Honestly, I feel divorced already. Basically she has ignored me for most of this year. August 31st will be a relief to some degree. It doesn't hurt as much with all the distractions. I just need."

I couldn't continue. I felt guilty for my rampid sexual thoughts and how it seemed to get me more female attention. And yet, I didn't care at the same time. I was messed up.

Jacy came over and gave me a big hug.

"Chip. Your a good man and you will always will be good man."

Matt slapped me on the back.

"Stop being a pussy, fucker. Okay, sorry.

That came out like I want you to fuck some umm. I'll just shut up now."

We had moved everything as Jacy directed. She then brought out some Guinness Stout that Matty had picked up.

I caught them up on what had went on since Saturday night. They thought my life was real amusing. Fuckers..

I told them in depth about Sunday and the Jeep conversation. Theresa walking in on me at the pool party. That lead to Tuesday and my time with Tiffany. My ladies at work volunteering to rate my smell. Then Theresa again, that night with the pink teddy bear.

Jacy was shaking her head and smiling.

"Uh oh Chip. Be careful. Theresa has the hots for you."

"What?"

"She saw you penis. Then she pushes you in the pool. On top that, you had a big flirt session in her front yard. You sporting sexy cologne and throwing the football, oozing your manly charms. Then the football hit you. Gave her the perfect excuse to touch you right?

"It wasn't like that," I squeaked.

"Uh huh. And she squeezed your muscles a little and rubbed your arm. Maybe her big boobs touched you on accident?

"Yeah?"

"Your a stupid man. By the time you left for Dave and Busters she was in her bedroom changing her soaked panties! Keep your distance from her until your moved out, okay.

"Okay."

Matty is just grinning ear to ear.

"What?"

"Your a little flirt. You better be careful or one of those ladies is going to corner you for some hot lovin."

"Oh Chip! I'm so hot. I think my panties have melted. Would you check for me. If you need to use your tongue, go ahead."

"You know. Your sister said that to me once.

Wait. It was your Mom."

Matty was not distracted.

"Jacy, we better get Chip a 36 count of condoms. He's got over a half dozen ladies juiced up and wanting a Chip tasting. Hey, can you have your work ladies measure the Captain so we can get the right size condoms for you?"

Jacy and Matty are have a giggling fit. I'm not even going to answer that question! But, the thought of Carrie on her knees measuring my cock at my desk. Oh lord.

"Chip, I should suck on it some more so we make sure we get a good measurement!"

We were all relaxing on the couch and starting a second Guinness. I was feeling a real nice buzz already. This beer is some potent shit. Matty and Jacy were smiling kinda goofy. Poor Jacy, at 100 pounds she is going to be shit faced soon.

I like this stout!

"Jacy, I like this beer."

Matty nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, we should have these after the game tomorrow night."

Jacy looked at me.

"Chip, when's the last time you and Joan had sex?"

Wow. What the hell.

"It's been more than three weeks."

"How are you holding up? Hanging large?"

More giggling. Fuckers!

"Matty? You tell her everything?"

He was smiling and nodding. Time to turn the tables and have some fun with her.

"Fine. If I get to stressed out about it, I just have an office pop."

Matty looks down trying not to smile. Hold it together fucker.

"What's an office pop?"

"You know? Jack off and and pop a cum shot. Office pop. Sometimes I see a cute waitress and I need a sports bar pop. Pop one off in the Jeep. Jeep pop."

Matty looks up. He wants in on this.

"When I travel, I'll pop one off in the plane restroom. Mile high pop."

I come right back at her.

"I see some hot yoga pants honey shopping for groceries, Grocery store pop. Or pop off in Matty's bathroom. I can't do it at the Y. That seems weird. Old naked dudes wandering around. Y pop doesn't sound right either."

Marty is back in.

"I can't do it at Starbucks. Too much pressure. They only have one bathroom and it always seems there is a line of ladies to use it. I guess you ladies have no issue popping off there. Have you ever popped one off at Starbucks? Is that why you gals go to the bathroom together? That's hot!"

The face she was making was hilarious. It was as if I just threw up all over her and she looked like she was going to vomit herself.

"No you idiot! I don't pop off any where! You jack off at all those places? Oh my fucking god! Chip! This bathroom? I. I. I."

"Sometimes I just leave the cum wherever it lands. Depends how I'm feeling. Not here though. I blast it straight into the toilet."

I stand up and exaggerate like I'm jacking off. I put my other hand on the wall, showing her how I would do it.

"I think I am going to be sick. Matty you do this as well? What the fuck is wrong with you two?"

At this point we couldn't hold out any longer and we just cracked up. Matty fell off the couch onto his back, struggling to breathe and his eyes watering. I went to my knees and buried my face in the cushions laughing hysterically.

"You fuckers! You mother fuckers!"

But now she is smiling in relief, but still holding her stomach.

It took forever to stop the giggling between me and Matty. Everyone needed a bathroom break at this point and Jacy pointed at me when she got up to go.

"You! Now it's in my head!"

"Does it make you wet?"

"Chip!"

Another late night for me. I drove home and walked in the door after 1030 PM. Joan was asleep and the girls were watching a movie in the TV room. I checked if they needed anything and then said good night. I needed to wind down. After I changed into some sleep shorts, I went to Kixx's room to watch some ESPN. I then got my phone out and checked on my fantasy baseball team. Before I knew it, it was 11:30.

Thursday August 17, 2018

I love Thursdays! It's basketball night! We go out for beers afterwards and If I'm lucky, I won't see Joan awake when I get home. Today was going to be a great day. I just knew it!

Thursday at work was very similar to Wednesday with my ladies. The last cologne was Saint Laurent and they gave it a 9.0.

Cleavage was plentiful and it seemed like everyone was wearing a skirt. I didn't really pay attention to the way they dressed before this week. But now, I felt like a wolf looking for a meal.

Carrie came into my office right at 5 PM. She walked over and sat on the side of my desk.

"Boss. Umm. Your cologne today is pretty intoxicating. Some of the girls give this one a ten. Go easy on us."

I stood up facing her, smirking.

"So don't wear it if we are going to have a long meeting in a small room together."

"You could. Lori might throw you down on the conference table."

Carrie's nipples were hard and I had very difficult time not staring. I swallowed.

"Fair enough. I appreciate your help. Umm.

I was getting a few more colognes on Friday to try next week. Should we pull the plug?

I'm getting pretty worked up. I mean, uh, I don't want there to be problems. I mean. "

"Chip. If you find yourself in trouble. Just back away slowly, keeping eye contact at all times. Your baby blues will keep them frozen."

She pulled her top at the waist with both hands. Her breasts straining against the fabric and pretty much giving me a 3D impression of those glorious nipples.

Cappy is delerious.

"She's challenging us Chip! Do something!"

All I heard in my head was music.

"In the still of the night

I hear the wolf howl, honey

Sniffing around your door

In the still of the night

I feel my heart beating heavy

Telling me I gotta have more"

"Damn Carrie."

"Chip, I said eye contact!"

She started laughing and got up to leave.

"I might have to change the dress code!"

"0h. What would you like me to wear?"

She got me. There was no safe answer.

I would probably blurt out pink teddy again.

I was happy to leave work and head home.

There is only so much I can take in a day.

Tonight's game was at 7 PM. I had 30 minutes to change, eat a granola bar and hydrate. The kids know their on there own on Thursdays and Joan said she would be home soon.

Brutal game physically tonight. We lost by 5 points. We skipped the bar and I followed Matty back to his house for a drink. Around 8:45 Jacy arrived with food!

"Hey guys! I brought some chicken ceaser salads for dinner. I hope that's okay?"

"Love it. I'm starving. Matty, you better lock that shit up."

Jacy has a questioning smile on her face.

"What does lock that shit up mean?"

Matty gives her a hug and a big kiss.

"He's is telling me I gotta lock you up from any other guys and make you an honest woman. And he's right. I gotta lock your shit up. Cause your shit is spectacular!

I love you so much."

"Awe. Thanks baby. I love you too."

They share another kiss. Jacy walks to the table to start setting up the food while Matty stares at her butt. I'm so jealous right know. Two peas in a pod.

"You better lock that shit up fucker."

"Yeah. You better lock my shit up fucker!"

Jacy smacks her ass and looks over her shoulder with a teasing smile at Matty.

Matty winks at me. The don't worry, I gotta a Matty plan wink.

I look indignantly at Jacy.

"Oh, so now you think you can start saying fucker like us? That's our thing."

"Hey man. She delivered that like a boss. Gotta give her cred."

Matty walked up behind her and smacked her ass.

"Ooh! Honey!"

After we ate, Matty got out a bottle of Tequila and shot glasses. We did 2 shots each. This probably wasn't a good idea since we were dehydrated from the game.

I was feeling no pain and just started jabbering.

"You guys are so awesome together. I going to help you become super awesome."

Jacy starts to frown.

"This isn't another joke is it?"

"Nope. It's easy. Just do the opposite of what me and Joan did. We never discussed sex. She wouldn't. So you guys should. To prompt a discussion, I will tell you everything from a man's perspective. Positions. Cumming. Anal.

Whatever.

Matty has a huge grin. He looks like he going to explode.

"I can tell this is going to a epic Chip moment. Dude, can I record this?"

"Sure. No one else can see this! Maybe I can write a book about it?"

Matty runs off and comes back with a camera.

"Yeah. Melting panties and pink teddies!"

"Okay Jacy, where would you like me to start."

"Anal."

Matty leaned in closer. He wanted to make sure he heard every word. I even thought I heard him say, oh boy.

"Okay. Men love a woman's ass. We absolutely do. We like the way they shake, quiver, jiggle and bounce. When it comes to anal sex,"

The doorbell rang.

Matty got up and looked at me with a lopsided grin.

"Damn. I wonder who that could be?"

Wasn't sure what that meant. Knowing Matty, he always thinks something really good is going to happen. That's why everybody love's him. Jacy looked annoyed at the interruption.

I could see the front door from where I was sitting in the living room. Matty opened the door.

Fucker!

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Chapter 4

Christmas is early for Matty!