All Comments on 'A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Ending'

Now that was fucking pay back! 5**************************************'s

Unfinished business. That might as well have been Roger's last name after the original story. Imagine the howls that would have emanated if in ' Moby Dick ' , the whale kills Ahab, smashes the ship, leaves Ishmael and Narrator stranded in lifeboat and swims off smirking into the sunset. That was akin to what Agena did with funnyboy Roger.

Well here TTT dares to trot out the harpoon err electric prod, then shears, tattoo gear, vibrators and prop gun. O-V-E-R-K-I-L-L. Or is that krill ? Sorry, couldn't resist. You shouldn't pull a gun unless your going to use it and you shouldn't initiate a joke unless everyone laughs in the light of the next day, maybe next month.

Dump the bitch ! No. Forgive her for she knows not what she's done. The graceful middle ground is hard to find. After reading this story, I can say the search goes on.

Well Tx Tall Tales has more hot ratings for his stories then a Col. Sanders livestock supplier has feathers in the dumpster. I don't think this story deserves to add to the total, though. No denying, he had the balls to try to concoct a proper comeuppance for Rodger, a top ten fugitive from Literotica karma. Mega-Props for that .

I'm a BTB kinda guy...This fit the bill...Sorry it ended though...

Thats what I call a masterpiece. Perfect payback. 5 star from me.

Awesome and fitting end to this story. We appreciate the author's time & effort to create such a great BTB & BFF ending.

Nice job. A little over the top and in the real world he'd never get away with it but in the fantasy world it was a wonderful punch line. Nice job

kept the reader's attention. It was a tad violent. I could see the electricity but the scarring was tough. Still, they did push him to it, didn't they. Thanks for the entertaining read!

it's about time somebody got it right.

and the payback becomes worse as time passes, TK U MLJ LV NV

I actually did not enjoy reading it very much, but I couldn't stop until I was finished. The build up was excellent, and the character development was good, and consistent with the original. When the revenge kicked in, I disliked it. While I appreciate a good revenge tale, I don't like sadism or torture. That said, credit for taking it to the limit. The eroticism mixed in did nothing for me, because I was so squeamish at that point. Still, the tension kept ramping up to an almost unbearable level. Great finish. Very skillfully done.

Only thing missing was I'm sure the perp crapped his pants - smell would have been bad. Clever ending.

What I feel was too much and what I feel was missing to make it a better story as an adjunct to the original story. I felt thet the basement torture and payback session was way to drawn out and because of that it became boring and redundant in the details.

More seriously what is missing is the outcome or epilogue about the next 10 or morees for the 4 characters in the story but more importantly for the married couple where the malestorm of shit revovled around. I felt conflicted during the reading of the complete versions os the story as to whether the hero is unceremoniously dump Flo but when she did it one more time to her husband there was no more doubt in my mind. First of all the lie detector failed to ask a magic question that being "did she ever have dreams or fantasies about having sex with Roger". My guess is that all through the time that she allowed Roger to overtly seduce her ending up near naked on Roger's marital bed and allowing him to help her masturbate herself all for simulated sex for her husband's manacled benefit, she had developed sexual feelings for Roger and was naturally flattered by his lustful bull shit. To me it is amazing that a faitful wife and mother of 23 years would so comletely turn against her husband and completely disprect him and in the last case stand around laughing at him in ridicule and when confronted says she was stupid (not true) it was a big mistake (no it was not it was an ongoing series of put downs aimed at her husband by she and her lustful admirer). Then to assert that she had not been unfaithful (actually she had been a number of times in terms of loyalty and honoring her husband),she had not cheated (OMG she allowed Roger to see her almost completely naked) but she allowed Roger to put his hand down over her pussy while the both she and Roger masturbated her to climax to simulate sex as an extremely distasteful non funny joke. Her husband said she was not stupid but what she did on that bed with Roger for a prank may better be described as idiotic on her part.

After all the pranks especailly after she went back on her promise to not be involved with Roger in any more pranks. I would left early and proceeded toward filing for divorce as fast I could and also for his out of it son Eric his next comment to him should be "get a life".

Good ending to the story . To good . I can't speak for anyone else but myself , but i wish you would continue . I have to know what happens next . Thanks

You gotta be strong to survive a joke in texas.:)

How many years will he get for kidnapping, torture, rape, and various other sexual and assault charges? Ten or twenty?

If he'd just done the sane thing and pressed charges and dumped his wife after they cuffed him, he'd have been sympathetic, but this psycho reaction makes you wonder if he'll go shoot school kids for an encore.

......THE BETTER ENDING !!

Flo is STILL to blame - and she STILL doesn't get it..

Hey - it was only a Joke - wasn't it ?

HAHAHAHAHA - who's the clown/wimp now ?

Well written Tx Tall Tales - very nice one !

I wonder where they go from here... Flo was so stupid to let it get going again and Roger was too stupid to see that he was moving into quicksand... Still basically it does not wipe out the humiliation of listening to his wife have an orgasm with Roger. Even the orgasms with Alice do not cancel that out. There is no cure, IMHO. Thanks for an interesting read.

Awesome joke on the joker. Not quite sure what happens to the spouses but I enjoyed your version ending of this story. Thanks for sharing it with us. It was only a joke!

was about all that had a touch of humour (pistol and flag).

the story plot was really nicely planned and written. the problem with it ? it absolut shit with a double tt, so to say.

I really have no clue at all why you think violance adds to a story. sorry of course if this would be a homicide movie, there you would be a master.

I guess it has something to do with the all american understanding that violance is fun in your country, never pass a year without a rampage and the National Rifle Association has a good laugh and sells more weapons. cool.

I personally think, so what, but in a erotic story ?????? everybody in hardcore BDSM as well. Is there a National BDSM Association? and we can have now a good laugh ?

I would say stories like this one explains why so many freak out and think it's ok. Just watch how many , besides me, think that was a good story.

sad to see, that a halfway good story, ok a provocative story, finds an author who 5 years later thinks he has to end it in violance. And no he did not even finsh it, actually he just started it.

nobody who doesn't have all screw loose would want to live with this guy after his "joke" , not even his kids.

but please continue writing stories, it's a good thing for you (eventhough this is not a therapy board). this way we at least know you don't explode somewhere in private and have an outlet for your anger (anger=erotic).

to make my comment a bit more peaceable, lets end it with a Christmas carol from Jeff Dunham: jingle bombs, jingle bombs.......

But you are one sick and twisted idiot. In real life, you would also be behind bars.

...despite the proceedings in the original story, where it was covered as "joke".

Even if the author intended to show that the prank in Agena's story wasn't much of a joke but real torture, he went way too far. And what will happen to the four people? Good writing, but only 3* for bad plot and missing end.

Comments like yours take all the fun out of writing a good fantasy story. Most people write or read stories like this one so they can at least dream about someone getting some revenge or payback. Why do people like you have to belittle the work or the possible fantasied payback of someone that has been wronged by someone they trusted. A lot of us would like to do the same things in these types of stories to a cheating spouse, but we all know that we can't do it in real life. So why do people like you have to try to take that away from the ones that get to experience the own revenge through fantasy and make believe.

For those who don't think it was funny. It's fiction. Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!

there is a trick done with Ice and boiling water that causes temp brands that would havew worked just as well right??

It was a fitting ending to a well deserved revenge. How about another chapter, probably a short one, to describe how the two couples got on with their changed lives. I hope Flo gave him the respect he deserved.

Thanks for sharing!

I loved it. Made me feel good he got his own back. Of course we know in real life he would rot in prison after doing something like this but it still made a damn good story. This is probably one of the best endings for this story I have read. Still think he should have dumped FLO in one of them though.

You were right - this was a far better ending. How could he ever hold up his head again if he didn't get payback. How else to stop a person like that, who can't stop the practical jokes? This ending will remain a memory long after the original story is forgotten.

How I feel about this, the ending with the flag is a classic turning the tables, but what went before is very real.....and I wonder if Alice would have been so enamored of Jim if she felt like she was forced to fuck him like that, since she thought Jim was really going to hurt her husband, I am not sure if at the end, despite knowing her husband was a dickhead, that she wouldn't file rape charges against Jim..so I am torn, because I also thought Flo and Roger in the original didn't pay for what they did, just wondering if this was too far out. Jim could have done a lot to mindfuck roger and Flo without actually hurting them, kind of like the flag on the gun, he could have set up a hanging noose and had some sort of time release mechanism, that when it let go the rope gave way as well, could have done a lot of things....

I don't think Flo really got how much she hurt Jim, just how despicable her behavior had been, and it makes me wonder about what happens after this.........to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if Flo decided with Roger to press charges against Jim, I don't think she really loved Jim that much, because no one would humiliate the person she loved the way she did, if she had learned Roger would have already felt her wrath before this.....

I think my one criticism, Tex, is that you might need an epilog to this, I understand open ended stories are part of the world of writing, but this one has so many open pieces to it (how for example does Jim avoid jail, given that Roger would likely file charges, and I would guess Flo would,too). Would Jim file countercharges about what they did to him, or use that threat to neutralize Roger? Would Jim end up in a poly with Alice and Flo, leaving Roger truly out in the cold?

The ambiguity of this story I think makes it a much more compelling read, and Tex, this is as well written as it comes, and the twist ending was well written.

While more fitting than the original story ending (where, basically, Roger and Flo got off free), this was just too much payback.

Nice, but it does need an epilog. All too real, and it would be interesting how the rest plays out. Especially liked the "Bang"

There is a place for an open ending and then there isn't. You can't say this isn't closed because of all the unanswered questions. Did he really cut him? Hell, a 24 volt shock can be made to feel like a million if done right, so did he really shock him badly? There are gels that can allow the transfer of heat, but not burn the skin. So did he really burn him? And of course, what happened after everybody got free? Divorce, murder, police, jail, more jokes, and just of few of the possibilities. Close the loop.

As i said in first story he should have pressed charges

In this case, they will

bluntly this is stupid

Actually, being from the Republic my own self, I have to agree with the intent of this one. And for those of y'all out there who don't think it was all kinder and gentler or whatever buzzword or catchphrase the damyankees are using this week, get over it. If anything he was a bit TOO kind and gentle. I grew up in Texas. In the Hill Country. Yes, ma'am. No, sir. All that. And people are like this character there. Still think he should have attempted to discover exactly how much voltage it takes to cause impotence, by the by. Probably ol' Roger would knock off his foolishness if his testosterone level was muted a mite, don't you think?

Not so much revenge as BDSM fetish. The guy seeking revenge merely showed that he was no kind of real man at all - simply a nutcase who drugged his victims in order to get the better of them - which makes him pathetic and weak.

If this is as one comment says, the way 'Texicans' would behave - let me know when they come down from the trees and begin to join the civilised world.

He was driven to the point of insanity and beyond by their pranking.

are worth reading even it they tend to be verbose. This one was not a good one. Please write for quality, not quantity. Thanks.

A fun tale, but if reality sets in you know this guy is going to do time for his crimes. The asshole practical joker will press charges and he will be jailed. This is the weak part it distracts from the payback.

Hi, I was loving the story up to the point where Jim started torturing Roger. I mean, I was all for a joke to get some payback, and the punchline was great, but torturing just was over the top and I can't help but feel the author took the easy way out.

I'm sure Jim could have done something different and get similar results. Maybe fake torture with chemicals that simulated the pain of a branding or something like that.

I gave it a 4 because of the "planning" for the payback made me think Jim really had planned something good and funny, but definetely not what happened.

Wasn't bad. Does he really think he'll get away with a light punishment? I expect he'll be a good friend to 'bubba' for the next decade or so.

It would have been more real if he had killed them both then himself.

I actuall thought it was not so bad.......Physical or mental torture is torture. Who actually suffered the most. Not bad. Thanks

Flo is a closet slut and with a few drinks Roger would get her and after a short period of remorse, again and again.

I liked the revenge idea up to carving on his head. Getting him to have Alice suck and fuck him was priceless.

Problem. after 23 years he is having a hard time needing and wanting to leave Flo BUT - Alice is and has been a faithful wife and admittedly likes our hero so....

...Maybe - A Little Different Ending. Revenge and Payback - oh yes, would Flo manage to stay faithful, don't think in the long run - Nope!

Thanks for the read.

...to some of your better works. Notwithstanding the old worn out adage, "well it's just a story", you can't say on page one that he fears going to prison and then spend two pages describing kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, torture, mutilation and rape. Even within the context of the story, where did he think he was going to end up?

It was an unpleasant story with not very likeable people. Your protagonist went from someone I felt was very badly treated. Especially by someone he should have been able to say always had his back, no matter what. At that point, if he felt he could never trust her again, DUMP her. Get gone. Turning into the literary equivalent of an third world dictator's go-to prison guard really was too much.

That being said, the story did keep me until the end, so I have to give you that much. I gave you a 2.

Stupendous ending worthy of a true finale. Ignore the wimp trolls; they love being disrespected by their wives...

Five stars!

Waiting all of the way through. and Thought he has lost it. to shoot someone.

then the "BANG" and I just had to Laugh. He got total Revenge on his Buddy Roger and faithful wife Flo. They will both be Cautious from now on. Not knowing how far he will Go.

He took the slut back! He's a wimp, or you are!

He keeps the slut wife, he looses his man card, pure and simple.

Worse yet he let Rodger live when he didn't have to.

I'm afraid if your fellow Texans find out there's a pussy boy in their midst, they may well send you to Iowa or Rhode Island.

You almost lost it in the end. If the joker was actually killed it would have destroyed the story. The hero got his revenge.

He also got 10 to 20 with parole eligible if he passes the insanity test.

Oh well.

This one left a bad taste. It's a bit like the old saying, "When setting out for revenge, dig two graves." "Just a story" doesn't cut it (no pun intended). Jim will either do time in maximum security or in a padded cell, but he clearly destroyed himself with his actions. Roger will bear the scars forever, and his marriage and life are permanently fucked up. Flo and Alice, well, they might get over this but it will be a while before either laughs or really enjoys life again.

Just because an author puts a "warning" at the beginning of a story, it does not provide complete immunity from criticism if the story is flawed in one or more respects. I can relate to "an eye for an eye" revenge, but this was really over the top. Another thought that others have failed to observe -- this story is really in the wrong category. It should be in the Nonconsent or Nonerotic, or maybe BDSM or Fetish, but not LW. I also feel an epilogue would have improved the story -- the reader does not really know how this ends.

ya that was good

So fucking far over the top I can't quit laughing and you banged his wife too! 5

Kind of Wacko..took it as a joke....maybe the famous ADA Maitland from Jacksonville FL can list all the charges, too many to count, but I think Flo won't being seeing him for 15 to 20 years

Dark indeed, and well written.

What he did to Alice was unforgivable, mentally torturing her for the sake of his joke, and the extremes of hypocrisy in switching from a joke to outright fucking her make him look like way more of a dick than Flo ever was. She wasn't even sure what she did was cheating, while on the other hand he knows perfectly well that fucking Alice for revenge WAS. If that was supposed to match the somewhat idiotic overtones of the original where the guy was more concerned about his supposed cucking than the blatant disrespect of his wife for him, then you succeeded, but... jesus, Alice didn't deserve that.

Way too dark to be funny, and it should have been, with the awesome ending. But the ongoing torture and mutilation and beyond the pale darkness is so far out of touch with the story you wrote this alternative ending to, that I can't believe you bothered writing a reconciliation story.

She has no respect for her husband or she'd never have done what she did, he has no respect for her or he'd never have gone so far for payback. Where the fuck is the reconciliation here? This is pure cop-out BTB. It's like you didn't have the guts to choose either a proper BTB or reconciliation/revenge story to keep it on the same level as the original.

4 stars for the ending, losing a star for the ridiculously over the top and dark story that went with it. I want to hate it, mismatching your story so horribly with the other one, but the ending saves it.

Too over the top. Your version of Jim clearly has become a psychopath with Alice a willing accomplice to his madness. I agree he should have gotten even with the neighbour but that was no revenge joke, that was pure torture which should see Jim in jail or the nut house for a very very long time. Kidnapping, torture and rape are all serious crimes with heavy punishment for each of them. Even in Taxas. And his wife should definitely divorce him. After all what he did too her was way over the top and he did in fact actually cheat with Alice. So the coda to this story should see a divorced Jim sitting in a nuthouse abandonded by his wife and children.

Flo's contempt for him would have destroyed me, in his shoes. So I was disappointed that he didn't shoot him. Way too far over the top, and yet I'm wanting more.

Now that was fucking hilarious ! Ha!

In addition to NOT believing it was funny, I also believe it would not be effective! I also believe Alice would NOT go along with him the very first injury he visited on her hubby, the Asshole.

I also agree that the warning WAS there for the reader ... But it's kinda like the ED ads which warn about 4-hour erections, which has probably done wonders in selling ED drugs to men NOT suffering ED! It was a good horror story, but next time, file it in Horror!

as a Rule I rarely if ever comment on TX TALL TALES because most of his stories ... while technically skillful and quite well done... cConsist of the stupidest most bizarre subhuman slope headed twisted moronic plots that anybody will ever read.

I think this story shows that quite well.

The plot here and the thought processes of the husband are as close to insane as any character that I have come across in reading LW.

For example Why does he expressed this overwhelming concern about going to jail and an end up spending last two pages engaging in torture?

If the mentally disturbed husband wants to get actual revenge on an equal level ... then he cannot engage in all sorts of body mutilation of Roger... Since there is none of that direct that towards him in the original story.

Suppose this case was to go to court? In the first instance the husband would have a serious criminal claim for cruelty and unlawful imprisonment and adultery.

But with the husband's actions towards Roger... We have the unlawful imprisonment ... The Torture attempted murder ... Terrorist acts ...and sexual mutilation assault .

In short this story proves that this writer is well... a MORON.

I think one of the most telling science that this story is really bad is that a blithering idiot like cantbuymy thinks this is a five star story.

You weren't kidding when you said this would be dark. Of course, I don't see any way out for him. This clearly wasn't a joke. He lost it and went over the edge. He will be in jail for sure and divorced shortly. I was actually convinced that he was going to off himself in front of his wife. When the gun appeared I was sure you were headed there. The end was a surprise. Of course, you alternate ending leaves even more unresolved issues than the original.

Well done! After all, it's just a fantasy, isn't it? Isn't "over-the-top" what we enjoy about your stories? Implausible? Sure. Crazy? Fuckin A. And a surprise ending that made me laugh out loud. Very nice.

I get a full dose of real life every day. I come here to escape it. This story helped me do that. Thanks.

what i think is funny is that a half fag like harryinva who has never written anything actually wants to tell people how to write. evidently he has never read "farce" or does not know the meaning. harry needs to take his meds again and quit wearing his star trek uniform to the market. harry, mission impossible is "farce." star trek, that is "farce" too. ray bradbury is farce too. and i know you dont want to believe it - but l. ron hubbard writes sceince fiction, which is farce in that IT IS NOT REAL AND DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN!

harry, nothing on this site is real IT IS FICTION YOU DICKWAD!

Tex, ignore the doubters, it was as funny as all get out!

Cruel Revenge story and other Cruel Revenge Story are others. Some are so excellent as DGHear fantastic Cruel Revenge Story "A New Beginning: Bree's Story" that I laughed half hour after reading it. I read this, sometimes I did a smile a little laughing (2 sec ), after it was not 0.5 hour constant laughing. When I stopped at the last sentence I started to think how he avoided the Police or an assault from Roger??? I give a story generaly 5*****, 1* or nothing. I did not decide on 5***** or nothing, but I gave 5***** at the end after long hesitation I am a revenge story fan.

you are one sick fucker i love it

This was not erotic, entertaining, or even romotely funny. The ending was not surprising, either. There was no justice here, since the torture far surpassed anything Roger and Flo had done, or deserved. The only question is whether Roger would call the police and have Jim sent to prison, or end it with murder/suicide. Certainly, Roger would not want to remain married to Alice after this.

I liked it, do you think that he could get away with it ? ? ? I do.

Don't mean to give sick Os any ideas but, I use dead man switches, my fault, your fault,

Gods fault.....lol

I realy like this story and had me gut in a knot for a time thinking what it was like to chance lossing your wife. I have one thing to add at the end.

Since this is realy over the top and it is almost certain that Roger and Flo would be mad at the out come of the joke I would add this to it.

instead of Roger passing out at the end he would kind of panick then realize that he had been one up on the joke he had played and would start to get a little vocal about it not being funny. Thats when Jim would pulls out another gun and say that " I knew that you would not be satified with this being the end of things so I want you to think about this since I can't go to jail and I can't loose my wife my life is over I guess your mad because it got even so while your waiting for the Ice to melt to free your selves. If we can't get past this and stop all the practical jokes and just go back to being friends and friends only. then I want you to reflect on all that has went on leading up to this and remember it was all your fault. I am going up stairs and fire the gun to end my suffering once and for all." As they stand there in shock as Jim starts to leave he walks up the stairs and they hear a shot. They all screem as they hear a thump on the floor above. They all just sit there in shock again thinking is this part of a joke will he come running back down and release us. then they start to call for him then screem and yell for him. Flo is beside herself thinking he really did kill himself. Roger starts telling them both how it was all his fault that he never ment to hurt anyone or take it this far. How sorry he was and he wished he could take it all back. They all say that this will never happen again and they wish they can take it all back.

Just then the key falls and Alice gets the key unlocks herself and unties the other and then they creap up the stairs they see the Gun and Jim laying on the floor. Alice grabs Flo to keep he from running over to Jim. Roger get closer and just as he start to neal down Jim turns his head and asks " am I forgiven and can we stop the jokes."

of couse draw the suspence out a little longer. what do you think ?

@ TexanMan Your end is senzational! Thak You, what a pity the Author forgot to close with your idea the story. I think the average stars would be about 4.53 or something this.

5 stars bad!

They suck, all of them.

GREAT ENDING. I LOVE IT. TOO BAD ITS NOT REALLY POSSIBLE BUT I WISH IT WERE. DEFINATELY A 5.O

THANKS FOR YOUR INSIGHT.

That was a little much.

Enjoyed it.

One of the best I've read in several years of reading Lit! Thank you so much, Perhaps a short finishing story? Perhaps not? I can only think about the finale.

5 stars, but not 10. He took it way too easy on them. Your intro built up an expectation of a harsher "joke", which they both deserved. Thanks for writing.

to see how it truly ends.

But I absolutely loved it!!

I was looking forward to a good revenge story, but this was ridiculous. He bought himself a long stretch in prison and for what? Months of planning and this is the best he could come up with? What a loser.

By the way, it's one-of, a contraction of the phrase one-of-a-kind, not one-off.

Now THAT was funny! I don't care who you are THAT was funny! lol The only thing that could possibly be any better would be for Alice and Jim to walk off into the sunset together leaving Flo and Roger to sort their own shit out! But, seriously, that was a good enuff ending! Great job!

a revenge served cold

hope to read more

Very good, very dark but very good and I don't think it wandered to far from the original concept / characters either. 5*

I love your work, but in my opinion this is way over the top. It was disappointing to see you move in this direction. Hope you return to your earlier style. Did not rate you as I know there are others who will enjoy this work.

vriesea

Alice should have put a stop to that shit instead of laughing about it. Flo deserved it even more so, espoecially for bring him that doctored drink after all they had been through. He should dump Flo and take Alice.

Yes, I know it is just a story but I like to see wimps get even, he should have done something bad after the first time when they went upstairs. Nothing was too bad for Flo and the big jokester. Thank you for writing.

It really should be classified 'BDSM'.

Evidently the author doesn't know the difference between a practical joke and torture. I love his other works but this story is extremely weak.

you were writing outside your own comfort zone with this one. The mark of a really good writer is to stretch themself and do it well and you have succeeded.

This a heavy tale with extremes. I have to admit I prefer your regular styles but I salute the gumption to do this.

I know there are mixed views on this story but, DAMN was that not an entertaining story!!

I was freaking out through two thirds and the ending had me laughing with relief! A great thrilling story!

There was some humor in this. However not enough to off set the torture ie, the cutting, burning, acid, etc. I am glad he did not kill him, and did enjoy the cuckholding. Go back to your normal genre!!!!!

What a hoot.... the asshole got the humiliation coming to him he deserved,in spades, I really think the stupid wife didnt get enough...... I loved the ending

The best revenge is indifference.

Phil Collins had it right: "I don't care any more"

You did what you said. I realize that this is fiction and does't necessarily bare any resemblance to reality. So I get a thrill from the read and understand that no actual people were hurt or molested in the writing of this story. I hope!

... I usually like your stories. This was terrible; the height of the hypocrisy was beyond reason and made the story unbelievable. In this ending I see prison time, lots and lots of prison time. What about punching Rodger in the nose or sending him to jail for wrongful imprisonment or a civil suit for pain and suffering or divorce or some combination of the above? But torture, rape, branding and kidnapping are just to far a reach even for fiction. Panther Fan.

I don't see what every other commenter is complaining about. It seemed perfectly fitting to me. He didn't even end up killing Roger, which I really thought would happen. The storyline was perfectly believable and plausible. Can't wait to read the follow up.

Scale

Flo never had sex with Roger. Jim has sex with Alice, so its over the top. The same plot but without Jim and Alice being intimate would be a better story. IMHO.

"we only have everyone's word he did not have sex ever" unless of course you count his deepthroat cocksmoking (a legend on cell block H it is said).

cantbuy is now a perma-virgin (his tackle was small, but now even that is gone)

That was the most perfect payback/revenge story ever!

People need to learn there are consequences for their actions. This was perfect..

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck; it's a duck. Good ole Flo is definitely a "duck." Flo and Roger humiliated Jim, tortured Jim (yes, it WAS torture), subjected him to emotional and mental cruelity, and some of you dear readers seem to totally not appreciate this. If he had any "balls," he would of kicked the bitch to the curve and let her enjoy playing jokes on her next victim.

fuckingawesomeunrealgreat -- well maybe it's just a made up word, but still appropriate; I wish I could give it more than a 5!

How many people have "perfect" marriages? Why does every protagonist in these stories always have a "perfect" marriage right up until his wife cheats? That's not the way it works. The marriage is already shitty, then the whore starts looking for a back door. After she is caught, all that is left is to pick the bodies out of the train wreck of a marriage and clean up the mess. There is no forgiveness necessary, she made her decision, it is who she is. You can't "forgive" character. You can't "forget" deception and betrayal. It is irrational to think that you can simply forget. So, face the situation as it really is. In this case the wife had some underlying anger at her husband and/or marriage. She wanted to gain a sense of power at his expense. She achieved her goal, and destroyed her marriage. What I would like to see is what happens next when the DICK HEAD Roger files charges for unlawful imprisonment, kidnapping, assault, battery, as well as sexual torture. He might even convince his wife to file rape charges in order to save her marriage! A worm like him will not simply walk away. Jim will wind up in jail for a long time. His wife will probably continue her "relationship" with Roger and Alice will be miserable. That is the most likely ending to this tale of poor decisions! Walking away from shit is always better than rolling in it! Revenge is for suckers!

I can't even enjoy this story. It is so unbelievably far removed from reality that it isn't even a good BTB story. The problem with revenge stories is that the person doing the revenge makes the punishment not fit the crime. A fitting revenge would have been to cuff the two of them and simply have sex with Alice. But torture? Not even a fun story.

I also find it unbelievable that a wife who loves her husband would simply sit there and watch her husband be physically tortured. On top of that, willingly have sex with the guy doing the torturing. Not even realistic. Not going to read the next chapter, because I am almost certain that it will be some Penthouse version of a male fantasy for an ending, which would infuriate me even more. I wish that I could read a BTB story in which the husband does not go overboard with some maniacal vengeance.