Alice and I

She said something but I didn't hear it properly. She pushed herself up a little to look at me. Her eyes were a little wet and she was looking at me with love.

She whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."

She smiled and nuzzled my neck again. It was several moments later she said, "So... how's it feel to lose your virginity?"

"... Honestly, I hadn't thought about it much before this. But that... I don't even know what to say," I told her truthfully. "That was quick and forever all at once," I said, after thinking about it some more. "I don't know how to else to describe it."

She giggled. "It makes sense anyway." She paused and then looked at me. "I know I could've prolonged that, but Arun, I just needed you inside." She kissed me again and went back to nuzzling my neck.

I knew then that I'd feel that same need from now on, especially now that I understood what it was to be inside her. It had surpassed any vague expectations that had ever crossed my mind.

We lay like that for a short while, basking in each other. There was a ridiculously intense peace that radiated through my body for some moments. Her warm body draped over me was a feeling I never wanted to stop experiencing. Every movement she made and look she gave me stirred something deep inside. It was like a reflection of the silence we were both ensconced in, broken only by the very low sounds of our breathing.

She only got up to use the bathroom and took a little while. When she came out, I realised it was because she'd cleaned up a little. I decided I didn't want the night to end.

I moved slowly, making sure my back was okay and to my surprise, I found it was, perhaps because I hadn't strictly done much. The memory of the way she rode me made me harden a little and Alice noticed straight away.

"Mmm, someone's waking up."

She'd had her needs met and now I wanted to give her more.

I pulled her over to me for several kisses on the mouth. I moved onto her neck and bit her shoulder. I bit her collarbone when she lay down on her back sighing. She stroked my neck as I kissed my way down to her breasts and cupped them both. My hands couldn't cover them completely, which I loved. I let go and watched them sway to the sides a little, flattening out with her large nipples pointing up.

"They look silly like that, don't they?" Alice murmured, looking down to see my fingertips trace around her nipples.

"They're beautiful. I love seeing them like this," I told her. I slowly pushed at one breast and watched it sway.

Alice giggled, which made them jiggle a little. It was a little mesmerising. I laid a fingertip on her nipple and pressed down a little, stroking it by sliding my finger up. I felt it harden. I did this several times with both nipples until they were both thick and rock hard. Alice wasn't giggling anymore. She was lying there, watching me and trying to keep her breathing slow. I squeezed and pulled on them, listening to her gasp every time I did so, before I began to rapidly flicker over them with my tongue tip.

I slid one hand over her belly and touched her mons, making her jump again. When my fingers reached her clit, I took one nipple into my mouth and began to lick and suck hard, slowly increasing pressure and trying to take as much of the flesh into my mouth as possible. She squirmed and moaned and sighed. I felt her hand on the back of my head and looked across to see that she was playing with her other breast vigorously, as if she was matching the pressure with which I sucked on her.

I slowly stroked her swollen clit with my fingertip and she began to roll her hips in response. I pressed hard and because she was wet, I felt my fingers slip around until I managed to find a good position to settle my hand and stroke her clit. Within a few seconds, with her breast in one mouth and her heaving breath rushing through my head, I was rubbing her clit as fast as I could. She seemed uncertain about whether she wanted to rub my head or keep it in a vice-grip. The more I rubbed her clit, the louder she got, until her whole body was heaving as she cried out when her orgasm took over. Her legs locked around my hand and I did my best to keep rubbing, even as she squirmed and threatened to expel her breast from my mouth. It was a smaller orgasm than earlier, but no less pleasurable, I hoped.

She finally stopped moving and let my hand go, spreading her legs out obscenely. I couldn't help but stroke her a few more times. She looked down at me when I let her breast drop out of my mouth, and bit her bottom lip as I sucked her juices off my fingers until they were clean.

"You taste good," I told her.

She smiled shyly and stroked the back of my head.

Slowly, I simply shifted over to the side a little so I was half on her, enough for my arm to settle on the bed on the other side of her body. She looked at me confused. I took a couple of seconds to focus on my back, to make sure it was still relatively fine.

"I'm not finished," I told her.

I groped her inner thighs, steadying them with a fierce grip and kept her legs pinned apart. Making sure I wasn't going to hurt myself with my positioning, I lowered my head and began to lick her pussy lips up and down.

"Oh, f-f-fuck, Arun!" She exclaimed.

I went to her clit and sucked without stopping for as long as I could. This time, I managed to keep her legs apart and was fascinated by feeling her muscles flex powerfully under my hands. Moving one arm so that it was my elbow now pinning her leg down, and feeling my way the best I could, I managed to bring my hand to her pussy.

Her pussy was soaked. I touched her lips and my fingers spread her juices a little. My mouth was already wet with her and my fingertips easily slid down between her lips until I'd found what I was looking for. I pushed two fingers in, her pussy easily parting and letting me slide in to the second knuckles of my middle and ring fingers. I heard an orgasmic sigh from her as I began to half finger fuck her and half rub the inside of her pussy, trying to vary my movements and speed. That was getting progressively harder as her body rocked side to side in a familiar rhythm.

She did not last long; especially when I ended up downright fucking her with my fingers, now sinking them all the way in and as fast as possible. I heard the familiar building moans and then the sudden unreserved release as her pussy tightened around my fingers. Her relieved moan slowly turned into whimpering as I left her pussy and gave her clit one final lick.

I shifted my body, feeling a warning tightness in my back which signalled that I should exercise caution with my movements now. A small tiny bolt of pain accentuated the warning.

She was laying there with her eyes closed, still whimpering a little. Her breasts rose and fell with her breathing, swaying ever so slightly. She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Sweetie," She said quietly. "Come lie with me."

I lay down next to her on my back. To my surprise, she got up and straddled me, then lay stretched out again on top of me. She kissed my mouth and licked it and the skin around it; I assumed because she could taste herself on me. Then she nuzzled my neck. She was still a little out of breath but quickly regaining it. She looked up at me briefly, but not so brief that I didn't see how nervous she looked.

"Alice?"

She said something I didn't hear, but I felt it against my neck.

"Sweetheart, you okay?" I asked.

She looked at me. She took a deep breath. And she spoke. "Marry me."

I looked at her in surprise. My heart was drumming intensely.

"Marry me," She repeated. "I wanted to ask after we ate. The champagne was supposed to be for that but, I... I got scared. But right now, this is perfect. You're perfect, you really are. You fit in me perfectly; not just your body, but everything about you. You fit me. There is no one else. There can't be. I love you so much, Arun. Marry me?"

I recognised the way she was speaking. She was still a little giddy; it was the only way to explain how abrupt she was being. She may have looked calm but she was still riding the echoes of her orgasm and it was giving her the courage to propose.

Then it hit me; Alice was proposing to me. And she was waiting nervously.

I couldn't resist the grin that covered the lower half of my face and I pulled her up to kiss her hard. My whole body was fucking glowing with happiness. Whatever goddess there was of love, it felt like she'd turned my heart into a furnace to warm the rest of my body. I almost imagined the heat entering her through our joined mouths, so she could feel what I was feeling; the sheer energy of ecstasy.

"Is that a yes?" She asked breathlessly when the kiss ended.

"What do you think?"

She actually squealed with happiness. Then she smothered my face with kisses and licked my mouth.

"Alice, are you sure you're not just... I don't know, being impulsive because you're feeling high?" I had to ask just to be sure.

She shook her head and half laughed, half snorted. "I've been meaning to ask you for weeks. I just... Ugh. I was so scared you'd say no. I'll admit feeling this fucking good kind of gave me a push." She looked at me. "You do want to marry me, right?"

"Yes," I assured her. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else."

"Okay, good. Then stop asking me questions like that."

"Yes, ma'am," I said, feeling a little wired.

She kissed me some more.

"Do you think I should've had a ring or something?" She asked.

"I was totally expecting flowers, balloons, an arch with a floral motif, maybe even a camera so we could put our proposal on YouTube."

She made a face. "Ugh. On the other hand, maybe my way was fine."

I smiled at her. "Alice, all I want is you. I don't need some fancy ritualistic way of marking things like that."

"It's nice to know someone else is as relaxed as me about this stuff," Alice sighed.

I squeezed her buttock and her side, making her giggle.

"I don't think I've ever felt this good, Arun."

"Me neither."

"I don't think I could cum any more tonight, though. Just saying."

I chuckled. "That's okay. I think I need to give my body a rest anyway. My back was beginning to feel tight."

"You okay?"

"I promise I'm okay."

Satisfied with my answer, she nodded and settled her head down right next to mine so her mouth was pressed against my cheek.

"You know, when I had you in me... Well, I don't think I've ever cum that hard before," She told me.

That felt good to hear. I said, "I've never felt anything as good as being inside you." It was true.

"Well, I guess there's something to be said for your first time then."

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised," I said, after a few moments of thinking about what she'd said.

"Surprised?"

"I have it on good authority that generally speaking, it's actually quite hard for women to cum just from penetration."

She smiled. "My wonderful, lovely fiancé... Oh. Wow. Yeah, I like that. I love that. You're my fiancé now. That sounds kind of fucking awesome. I love that."

"I have to agree with that," I told her, feeling my heart quicken again.

She kissed my cheek and carried on. "My gorgeous man, as I was saying, I was grinding you so that my clit could rub against you. That's what got me there."

"Oh. I had no idea that was a thing."

"Well, looks like you learned something new, sweetheart."

"... Feel free to teach me much more."

"Oh, baby, we have the rest of our lives for that."

It's funny how little sayings like that can make your body rush with good vibes. We spent the rest of the night luxuriating in each other in little simple ways; touches and kisses. All the cheesy romantic stuff I used to think I'd never be experiencing any time soon.

I wish I could say the night went on forever, but the sun rises every day. The difference was that now I was greeting it with optimism. I'd never realised that before Alice, there was an indifference in me to the passing of time. When the morning came the next day, there was a moment I was looking at Alice as she slept naked on her side on my bed, remembering the day she first lay there when she learned of the damage to my back.

The tone had changed again. It felt like home.

--- --- --- --- ---

The rest of that week was our little getaway from the rest of the world as we explored each other some more. Then we told our families and friends about being engaged. That caused a bit of a fuss.

I have one distinct memory of the dinner we had where our families met again. There was an initial polite phase where everyone was re-acquainting themselves with each other. Then Lyssa made a concerted effort to break the ice and inject a sense of informality to everything. And it worked.

By the time we'd sat down to eat, everyone was talking to each other while Alice and I observed with an increasing sense of relief. At least, until the subject of our wedding came up.

Alice's expression was hilarious when she turned to me and whispered into my ear, "Are they really fucking planning our wedding?"

All I could do was shrug and try not to laugh. At that point, I was just glad our families were getting along.

But if there's one image I could leave anyone with, it'd be this:

It's been nearly a year since the party where I first saw Alice after she returned. My life is different. I still retreat now and then but Alice is there when I do. She'll sit with me in silence. We'll do our own things but we are within easy reach of one another. We are alone together.

On the whole, though, I get out more. I speak more. I've slowly reconnected with a few others from my past, who, as it turns out, have wanted to be more social with me for years. I've explained to them that I just didn't know how. I'm not sure they understand, but they accept it nonetheless. I go out more and see my closest friends. I eat with them. I'm even planning on going away with a couple of them and Alice.

And right now, we're at Gabrielle's place again. She and her cousin Jean have thrown me and Alice a party to celebrate our engagement. Gabrielle disagrees and says it's really a small gathering, which I'm inclined to agree with because there's only a few people there. Alice is busy talking to Amelia while Grain is standing with Lawrence because it's the first time any of us have seen Lawrence for about three years. He has a girlfriend now, but I can't remember her name. Rowan is here too, with Sarah. It's the first time some of us have met her but it's painless for her because Katarina helped ease her into the long-established connections. She was a little surprised Rowan even knows this many people. The only one missing is Matt, but that's okay because I have plans to see him within the next month or so.

It's nice to be here with people I've effectively hidden away from for a long time. The room is warm and low-lit and everyone is enjoying themselves. I don't even feel the need to leave. The Dread is a near-dead beast that sits deep inside and occasionally rears up to try and assert itself. It doesn't really work; its teeth have been ripped out by Alice.

Speaking of the love of my life, she looks at me while Amelia has a quick aside with Grain. She smiles and walks over and takes my hand briefly, but making sure she's hiding it between our bodies from everyone else; we're still not really fond of public displays of affection. She squeezes my hand and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and asks if I'm feeling okay. I tell her I'm fine. The smile she gives me crinkles her nose just the slightest bit and it's enough to make me feel lighter.

She's a little excited because tomorrow she's going to look for wedding dresses with Gabrielle and Amelia. She leans in for a moment to tell me that she's also planning on buying a few intimate things just for my eyes. I look around when she says that as if she has shouted it out for everyone to hear, which she finds pretty funny. She walks back to Amelia and I can't help but watch the way her body moves and the glow of the light on her bare shoulders.

It's one night in many to come, where no matter what happens, I know I will always feel safe because she's there. We have the rest of our lives together; Alice and I.