Close To You

I sighed to myself almost inaudibly and then tucked my phone back into my pocket and watched as the waitress came back by. I was only hoping we didn't create too big of a scene.

"Thank you for coming. I'm your waitress, Becky. What can I get you all?

I glanced towards Amy.

"I'll have the chocolate shake." Amy cheerfully said.

"I'll have the Oreo shake." Cassandra said.

"I think I'll go ahead and try the mango and berry shake." April brought her hands to her lap.

"I'll have the vanilla shake and Triple cheeseburger and fries." I said.

"With or without bacon?" She glanced at me again.

"With bacon." I answered.

"And what about you, dear?" the waitress turned to look at Courtney who was still sniveling. "What will you have?"

"I-I want watermelon." She answered through her tears.

I shook my head at Courtney while the geeky waitress with black black hair wrote down the orders on a notepad she was holding, and rolled my eyes and slapped my left cheek.

"All right. I'll be back with your orders soon. Sit tight and relax."

Watching the geeky waitress skate away on her skates, I rose from the booth and walked over towards the jukebox, went over everything that was on it, and put a quarter in the machine and played Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lewis before returning to the booth.

"Are you still crying?"

"You're an asshole."

"You're not one to talk." I said.

"I hate you!" Courtney snapped.

"Maybe if you hadn't tried to start something I wouldn't have called you out on your disgusting attitude." I folded my arms.

"Cole, forget Courtney. She's a stupid little bitch who's mad because daddy doesn't give her enough attention."

"Fuck you, Amy!" Swore Courtney.

"All right, look!" I raised my voice. "This needs to stop. Amy, I really appreciate you standing up for me, but the language needs to be toned down a notch, at least until we leave. And Courtney, stop picking fights and you won't get called out."

Courtney finally gave up and stopped running her mouth; falling silent, ceased her crying, which I now figured was faked, and just stared at me hatefully.

After a short while, the waitress returned with our order and placed the five glasses with striped straws on the table and then gave me my burger and fries that came in a red and white cardboard tray in another, much bigger plastic red tray, then skated away after giving the bill.

"So, Cole," Amy brought the straw near her lips, "Jessica is saying the baby's a girl, what do you think of that?"

I was about to reach both hands for my vanilla milkshake when she asked me this question.

"A girl? That's cool. I don't remember her telling me about that." But, then again; it did seem like Jessica was becoming increasingly forgetful.

"I know! I'll have a niece. I'll get to feed her bathe her and dress her up."

"Sounds like it'd be a nice addition to the family. I'd like to see what she'd look like." I reached for a fry.

"Cole?"

"Yeah?" I glanced at her.

"What was my sister like?"

My hand froze in place just inches away from a French fry, and I felt my face weaken at the question that was being presented before me.

"Amélie. Amélie was a bit of a tomboy and even though she was kind, she was the stricter of your two sisters and was known to speak up more than Jess."

Even though it had been years since Amélie's death, I still found myself thinking about her and missing how we hung out and played video games together while quite literally sharing a few sodas with each other.

Amy stared at me as if she was putting together cinematic images in her mind of Amélie.

"She had a bit of a short fuse, but she only snapped on mr three times in total I'm the whole time we were friends. She was also fiercely protective of your older sister, and ready to kill anyone who hurt her. She was a lot like you."

I gave a weak smile to myself upon the image of Amélie entering my mind. I knew I needed to stop.

"I'm sorry. You better drink your shake before it melts."

"Okay." She sipped the straw.

I grabbed my burger with both hands and brought it up to my mouth, and sunk my teeth into it, chomping off a huge bite before I sat it back down and grabbed my shake, bringing it to my lips and taking a big drink out of it.

The rest of the time at Mighty Shakes and Burgers was smooth sailing, without having to listen to Courtney's mouth, but then it got kind of awkward and uncomfortable to me when the girls started talking about what 'went on behind closed doors'. I dropped all of the kids off, and then I had to take Amy back home.

"I had fun."

"I'm glad, Amy."

"Sorry Courtney was a shit."

"It's fine." I broke out laughing.

"I guess I better get to bed."

"Goodnight, Amy."

"Goodnight." She hugged me.

I watched her as she pulled away and opened her bedroom door, walked into her room, closing the door behind her, and then saw the lights turn out.

I left the house and returned to my vehicle and arrived home by about twelve fifty five. I was about to walk up to the house when I heard the sound of an engine. I recognized the engine; it was Jacky.

They emerged from the truck after a few brief seconds of letting the truck run, and then Jacky and his buddies walked towards me with smiles on their faces, but not happy smiles...Smiles that made a cold chill run up my spine. They looked..Proud, like, those smiles were ones of pride and arrogance, yet..,Ones devoid of any remorse.

But as I gazed at their faces, my eyes grew and I heard myself gasping while reaching my left hand up and covering my mouth with it. Blood. That was blood that was on their faces and tank tops, REAL blood.

"Jacky...What did you do?"

"It's taken care of."

"Jacky...Please don't tell me.."

"No more spooks!" Announced Benny with a disturbing amount of enthusiasm.

"That little shit that attacked you is dead. We fucking blew his brains all over the fucking floor!" Jacky proudly declared.

"Fuck the darkies!" Howard jumped up and down.

"Jacky, what about finger prints?" I reminded him. "The police will know that it was you who did it! They'll know from your finger prints...Unless you threw the guns away."

"Jacky was prepared. We wore gloves before we used the pistols. Then we threw them both away. We're not stupid." Cackled Benny.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jacky?" I stared him straight in the face; terrified.

"Nothing." His voice was tinged with laughter.

"You keep calling them names, but...But...you killed another person...Jacky."

"It was a fucking spook!" He loudly countered.

I didn't know what to say anymore at this point, not anymore. He was so convinced that anyone who didn't share our skin tone was evil. This Neo Nazi crap had gone too far to his head and now he TRULY believed that what he was doing was right...But worse; he felt like people of other color weren't people.

"Cole," he slapped his hands onto my shoulders, "go get some sleep. Tomorrow I'd like to go out for pizza."

I wasn't arguing.

I wanted to go to sleep so I could forget about this bad day and have it off my mind.

"Cole, I'm going to hang out with the boys for a while. Just wanted you to know we took care of Tyrone so he can't hurt you anymore."

"Jacky, please don't." I begged.

"I love you, Cole." He pulled my towards him and gave me a hug-pat and then walked away upon releasing me.

"Damn it, Jacky!" I tightened my hands into fists.

But he still left.

I just surrendered in defeat and went inside, brushed my teeth, and took off all my clothes except my boxers.

I crawled into my bed and covered myself up with my space print blankets and sheets; closing my eyes as my head hit my pillow. I fell asleep that night hoping that the next day that would come would be a better day, and just tried to push the thoughts of the murders that Jacky and his two friends had committed, from my mind.

I slept peacefully for a few hours, but around three in the morning, I woke up to the horrifying sound of gunshots coming from right outside my window. I quickly pushed the blankets and covers off and jumped out of bed, raced to Jacky's room and pounded on his door urgently. He didn't answer. I opened his door, surprised it was open, and saw he wasn't in his room. My heart thudded against my chest when I saw he was absent from his room, and I quickly ran from the hall and passed through the kitchen and opened the wooden and screen front doors.

"Jacky!" I shouted from the porch.

There, in front of the street, was Jacky and six black men, and each of them were armed with pistols.

"Stay back, Cole. I'm the only one who's got any beef with these spooks. Don't get yourself concerned."

"Jacky, just tell them you're sorry." I begged; gritting my teeth.

The tallest of the gang members went to shoot at him, but Jacky was the quicker of the two and rose his gun up and cocked it, and fired a round; blasting a bullet through the black male's stomach and unleashing a storm of red mist into the air while the other fell backwards, attempting to shoot him again in his last few moments, which Jacky simply replied to by shooting three more bullets into his bloody stomach.

Jacky fired again, this time at the second shortest of them, and shot him right in the face; hitting him in the brain with a bullet, and, not quite satisfied, hit him with two more bullets in the same spot as he fell to the ground dropping his weapon.

The shortest of the men was closest to me, and he seemed to have snuck into the scene unnoticed by anyone, and was readying to do Jacky in when I noticed him and charged him just as he started to raise his pistol up into the air.

Jacky may have turned into something I didn't approve of, nor believed in or thought was right, but regardless of what he had turned into, regardless of how he felt of people who were different than us, regardless of who he had killed; he was still my brother, and if he lived through this, even if he went to prison, maybe he'd change for the better. Even if he didn't, I was still going to love him.

I tackled the youngest gang member to the ground and instantly upon hitting the ground, before he could cock the gun, started delivering a series of blows to his face; punching him again and again and again before taking the weapon away and throwing it as far as I could. But...After what happened next, maybe it would have been better to have kept the gun and use it as a bluff for protection.

I heard another series of gunshots, and directed my gaze towards Jacky, watching as another one of the gang members fell before him. But then...Then it all went awry.

"JACKY! LOOKOUT!" I yelled urgently while it seemed like time had drastically slowed down around me.

Jacky turned to his left, but it was too late. Bang, bang, bang, bang.

I watched as blood flew forth from a staggering in place Jacky; his body almost seeming to twitch upon being taking the repeating rounds of bullets.

"NOOOO!"

Helplessly, I watched as the last bullet was fired and hit Jacky right in forehead.

Jacky fell backwards; the pistol falling from his hand hitting the street.

The remaining men he didn't shoot turned their gaze on me, and pointed their weapons at me; smirks spreading across their faces while they prepared to finish off the last person in front of them.

This was it; I thought. Jacky was dead, and now I was about to be blasted full of holes myself.

As they prepared to fire, the sound of sirens surrounded the area and the boys in blue pulled up; demanding everyone dropped their weapons and get on the ground and kiss it while they surrendered.

I was spared, but...Jacky.

I collapsed to my knees; my arms shaking while tears fell down my eyes and burned my cheeks.

"Jacky..." I muttered in disbelief.

As the ambulance pulled up and the men emerged from it, and checked Jacky for a pulse, only to shake their heads and mouth the words 'no', I finally broke down big time and slammed both fists into the ground with my whole body shaking.

He was gone. He was gone. As he was put in a body bag and carried away, I realized this, that my older brother, who always watched out for me, who I always looked up to, even looking past his faults to find his good qualities, was gone.

The police tried to ask me questions, but I was too much of a mess to even throw together a coherent sentence and I was unable to answer any questions that were posed to me, so they went to the neighbor instead, Mrs. Griffith, who apparently was the one who had called them in the first place before the shooting even started.

All I could think of was Jacky. Jacky, and how I wished there was someone there for me to just hold onto.

As I continued to just let all my emotions loose, as if she had known something was already wrong, there came Jessica pulling up in the driveway in her black Altima. She wasted no time on getting out and darted towards me as fast as she could, until she was right before me.

She pulled me up, and gripped me tightly; pulling my head onto her shoulder.

"Shh.." She uttered gently in a soothing voice.

I grabbed her with both arms; my tears rolling down and hitting her nightgown while I buried my face in her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry.." Her voice seemed to crack while she struggled to comfort me.

Jessica's usually small and strengthless grip seemed to grow, and she tightened her force around me; embracing me tighter while whispering sweet and comforting words into my ears to calm me down.

I watched as Jacky was loaded into the back of the ambulance, and then I just started tearing up all over again after Jessica had started to succeed in calming me down and comforting me.

"It's okay...It's gonna be okay." I felt her lips touch my cheek.

I shut my eyes and stood there flooding her nightgown with my endless tears; unable to put Jacky and his death that I had just witnessed out of my head. I kept replaying it over and over and over in my mind; of him being shot. No matter how hard I tried not to think of it, I couldn't seem to focus my mind on anything else.

We just stayed there on the porch, even after the police and ambulance left.

"Please stay?" I begged her through the tears.

"I will.." She whispered into my ear; a small smile gracing her beautiful face.

I led her inside, and we both headed to my room and got in my bed. Jessica moved as close to me as she could, while still giving herself enough room for the baby, and wrapped her always-warm, arms around me; her eyes focused on mine while she put on a faint, white smile.

I put my arms around her; my arms wrapping around her body while I held onto her for comfort.

We said nothing to each other, and soon I felt all of my sadness and pain being melted away while I lost myself looking at her blue eyes, and soon, she was almost the only thing that I found myself thinking of; though, Jacky still lingered in my mind.

All I wanted to do was press my lips against hers and taste her, but I knew she was happily taken and in love with Johnny; and that soon she was going to be giving birth to his daughter and they'd marry after that.

My heart thudded hard against my chest while looked at her; holding onto her was all I could do to keep myself from touching her and caressing her sweet face; and I knew that if I didn't fight it, I'd end up kissing her just as I was imagining in my mind.

All I wanted was to tell her how I felt. How much I loved her and how badly I needed her. But there was no point. It wouldn't matter anyways because I couldn't have her.

"Its okay.." Her tender voice was so quiet, it was almost silent.

I nodded slowly and absentmindedly ran a hand up and down the trail of her back, but Jessica didn't seem to disapprove or even try to move from my touch. Instead: more of her porcelain teeth started to show while her smile increased.

Her head left the second pillow on my bed, and I silently took a nervous breath when her head hit the big pillow that mine was on, and our faces were just inches away from touching each other's. I could smell her fresh, pepperminty breath hitting my face.

"Goodnight." Her voice was still hushed.

"Goodnight." I said quietly, but with a tad bit more volume than her.

I closed my eyes and let my grip loosen on her, but as I started to drift off, even then, I kept my arms around her; just holding her plush body.

I had hoped my sleep would be a good escape from the reality that was my life, but, as I did start to dream, I found that sleep was just as bad as being awake. Jacky had invaded my dreams, and as if pointing a finger in my face and laughing at me, the dream kept replaying Jacky's grizzly death over and over again while I felt the same emotions in my dream, that I did when I was awake.

When I woke up, Jessica was already gone. I noticed this because my arms were resting on the side of the bed she had been on next to me, but a text message was left on my phone from her.

'I knew you were in some kind of trouble. I've always had a special connection with you. You were the only other person I had one with, besides Amélie. I knew when you didn't text me back. I'm sorry I had to leave."

I groggily smiled to myself upon seeing her text message, and felt that love-sick 'butterflies in the belly' feeling when I read it.

I tried not to think about Jacky as I started the day. I took my daily routine and fried up some bacon and eggs with a side of smoked breakfast sausage, took a shower, then brushed my teeth and threw on my janitor outfit. I grabbed my Jack Links from the previous day and went to work.

When I got off, I was on my way home when I stopped and decided to head to Blue Avenue and go pay Jessica a visit before I prepared for the end of the day. I saw her car was there, and I also saw Johnny's black, 1999 Ford F250.

I turned my sandy colored Toyota off and got out, locked it behind me, and put the keys in my pocket while I walked up to the front door of the Anderson house. I knocked a few times, but no one answered. Weird. Jessica's car was outside and so was Johnny's. But then as I touched the door, I noticed that it was unlocked, so I entered inside and proceeded to look around.

No one was around. And Jessica wasn't in the kitchen or watching TV in the living room area. I decided to go up the stairs and when I got to them and got half way up, I heard some pretty loud arguing that was impossible to miss, coming from Jessica's bedroom. I made my way up the rest of the stairs, and passed Amy's room, and stopped by Jessica's.

The arguing got louder, and soon, the arguing turned into yelling that may have well resonated all over the whole house. That volcanic voice was Johnny's. I knew I had no business of going in, but, I felt like since I was Jessica's best friend, that I had some kind of special privilege and permission to intrude. And so that's what I did. I twisted the doorknob and entered her room.

"B...But why? Why are you doing this to me, Johnny?"

"Look at you!" His words were practically spat out. "Just stop and take a look at yourself, Jessica! Look at yourself!"

"I--I don't understand." Jessica's voice cracked while she spoke; tears falling down her cheeks.

"You're repulsive." He coldly stated.

Jessica seemed to cry harder at this; her lips trembling while she stared him straight in the face.

"You're a disgusting fat fuck. I mean, you were hot as hell when we got together, with those tits and that ass...But look at you now. Those aren't the only things big on you..."

"I'm pregnant!" She threw out.

"You look like a fucking pig who's about to pop."

"I--I'll try to loose the weight. I'm sorry I'm so disgusting to you. J-just please, please," she clasped her hands, "give me a chance to work it off. I'll do whatever it take..."