Craving Ch. 04

When she pulled her fingers out, they glimmered with her juices and she spread her pussy wide. She ran her left index finger over her eyebrow and rested her chin on her thumb, fingers extended over her cheek. Her right hand moved over her clit again in broad circles and her pelvis rolled up and down against her hand. She changed between short bursts of rapid fingering and rubbing her clit, her eyebrows moving closer and closer together. She pushed her toes into the ground, lifting the petite heels and pushing her legs fully open. Her skirt rolled up to her hips but she was beyond caring.

Her hips rocked and her hand began to move fast enough to be noticed in her arm. I looked around one last time before securing my gaze to her fast moving fingers. My mouth dropped open when her pelvis suddenly jolted up and stayed there, I quickly looked to her face which was partially covered with her hand and her eyes shut. Her fingers kept moving until her stiff body relaxed and fell against the chair, her legs closing and trapping her hand against her orgasming clit. She opened her eyes and glared at me as her legs shook under the table.

I saw her struggle to contain her breathing. Her face began to relax and her legs slowly slid open. She gently caressed her swollen pearl before pushing her fingers back inside her and making her hips flinch. Her eyes burned into me as she pulled her fingers out and slowly spread her inner labia. She repeated the motion a few time until her hips stopped jerking. With a final tug on the hood of her clit, she sat up straight and pulled her skirt down. She stood up slowly and closed the book on the table, pulling out a sliver of paper from between the pages. She casually walked over to me and slipped the paper across the table in front of me. Written on it was an address I didn't recognise.

"Be there at eight tonight." She whispered close to my ear as she dragged her cum-soaked fingers across my lips, her scent making my mouth water. She moved around the back of my chair and headed for the exit. As I watched her turn the corner I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and licked her flavor from it. It was sharp and heady as it dizzied my senses.

I clasped my eyes shut and covered my face with my hands, forcefully rubbing my palms over my eyes. The band of my watch scraped against my cheek and I opened my eyes to look at the time.

"Fuck!" I muttered as the numbers flashed 06:49 PM. I slammed the journal shut and shoved my notebook into my bag. I stood and slung my bag over my shoulder as the small piece of paper with the scribbled address wafted down to the floor. I stared at it for a moment before bending over to pick it up. I walked briskly toward the library doors and my feet stopped just in front of them. I looked to my left and dropped the scrap into the recycling bin, wiping the sleeve of my coat across my mouth as I left the building. I drove fast and made the journey in twelve minutes. I raced up the stairs and jogged to the apartment, keys in hands. I opened the door quickly and stepped inside.

"Hey!" Renee called from the kitchen when she heard my keys fall onto the table.

"Hi." I answered as I set my bag down and Renee came hopping around the corner. She lunged toward me and kissed me hard as our bodies collided. I stumbled backwards and hit the door. She pressed her body against me and casually pushed her tongue into my mouth. Her hands pulled on my neck as she drove her tongue over the top of mine and sucked on my lips. "Wow..." I whispered as she pulled her lips from mine and swallowed hard. She beamed a smile at me.

"Good timing, pizza should be here in like ten minutes." She stood back and pulled me up off the door.

"Pizza? Didn't you tell me that you took chicken out this morning?" I inquired as I slid my coat off my shoulders and hung it.

"Yeah... I did. Uh, I..." She stuck her hands into the pockets of her denim mini-shorts and lowered her eyes to the floor.

"Burnt it?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yeah." She gave me a puppy dog frown with a hint of real sadness in her eyes. I chuckled softly at her and she playfully shoved my shoulder, "Shut up!" She took my hand and led me to the sofa. She sat down in the middle and pulled me down next to her, turning to face me and curling her legs between us.

"How was your day?" She asked enthusiastically.

"Okay, I guess. Yours?"

"Ah! So boring, I can't believe they made us sit through ALL those speeches when each of us was only there to hear one." She rolled her eyes and leaned into the back of the sofa.

"You didn't get anything out of the other speeches?"

"I didn't say that." She quipped. I laughed quizzically and waited for her to explain. "There were a couple of things in a couple of the speeches that I hadn't heard of before and kinda peaked my interest but beyond that most of them spoke about stuff we covered in the first couple of years." She raised her left arm over the back of the sofa and rested her head against her palm. "I don't know, it kinda just felt like a waste of time." I nodded subconsciously as I listened to her.

"Was there something else you needed to be doing? Did you and what's-his-name not finish what you were working on yesterday?" Renee narrowed her eyes and glared at me. I fumbled in my pocket to pull my phone out and put it on the coffee table.

"You mean Mike?" She asked sarcastically. "I've been working with him for months now. You know his name!" She raised an eyebrow at me and laughed when I just shrugged my shoulders. "And no... we didn't finish. By 1 AM I was so damn tired that we weren't making progress anymore so I just came home.

I hope I didn't wake you up when I kissed you goodnight. Did I?" The serious look on her face bewildered me.

"What do you mean when you kissed me goodnight?" My eyebrows furrowed on my forehead and Renee smiled sweetly.

"I went into your room when I got home and I kissed you goodnight." She reached for my hand and held it over her legs. "I was actually really tempted to climb in with you," her eyes watched her hands as she interlaced her fingers with mine, "but I didn't think I'd be able to let you sleep." I smiled softly at her, my mind struggling to accept that this was happening. As I grappled for something to say I was saved by a loud knock at the door.

"I'll get it." I said, figuring it was the pizza. I stood and headed to the door, stopping to pull a twenty dollar note out of my bag. I opened the door and greeted the gangly youngster in front of me, wearing a yellow and red shirt. I gave him the money and told him to keep the change. I carried the steaming box into the kitchen and pulled a couple of plates out of the cupboard. A large cloud of steam escaped from the box as I pulled it open.

I reached in and slid my fingers under the thick base, tearing a slice free as my phone began to shriek from the living room. I dropped the greasy slice on a plate and spun around looking for a napkin or towel but the counter tops were suspiciously bare. For a moment I considered wiping the oily residue on my pants but quickly banished the thought. I skipped to the opposite side of the kitchen and used my pinkie to pull open the drawers to look for a towel. Renee came shuffling around the corner with my phone in her hand, extending it towards me as I gestured at the grease on my fingers. I pulled open the bottom drawer but my phone stopped ringing as I grabbed the last towel. I sighed as I relaxed and cleaned my fingers.

Renee smiled as she watched me, "I think the caller ID said Lana." My body froze in a flash of panic at her words and I twisted the towel around my left ring finger tighter than I meant to. My lungs pulled in a shaky breath as I took the phone from Renee and unlocked it to check the missed call log. Lana's name glared at me. Renee's arms folded in front of her, "Have I met her?" she asked.

I looked at her and raised my eyebrows, "Lana? No." I locked the screen and set the phone down on the counter. "She's the department coordinator at that company in New York." I explained through a petrified poker face.

"Oh! Okay, should you call her back?" She asked as her shoulders relaxed and her eyes went wide.

Should I? My mind flooded with memories and incoherent thoughts. Should I? My legs grew warm and weak and my heart thudded in my chest. Should I? Emerald eyes and caramel skin danced over my vision while the ghost of soft waves of brunette hair tickled the skin of my shoulder. Should I? Soft words whispered in stolen moments around the office hummed in my ears. Should I?

"Amelia?" Renee's voice pierced the whirling cone of questions. "Should you call her back?" she asked again. Her curious eyes filled me with a sense of calm and I couldn't help but smile.

I moved closer to her, "No," I whispered as I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. I tenderly ran my finger tips down her jaw line and lightly lifted her chin as I drew my lips close to hers. I lingered for a moment as our lips grazed against the other's and then kissed her gently. "If it's important, I'm sure she'll try again later."

While I finished dishing up, Renee pulled a couple of sodas from the fridge and we returned to the living room. We ate slowly and she regaled me with recountings of the speeches which interested her throughout the day. A particularly spicy bite of the pizza brought the cut in my lip to life and I winced as I tried to suck the stinging sauce from my mouth.

Renee grimaced as she realised what was causing my distress, "I feel really bad about that." She frowned.

"No," I tried to reassure her "I don't mind it at all." I looked at her seriously, "I'm really sorry though, for what I did afterwards... It was..."

"Hey," She interrupted me, "I think we should just let it go. You feel badly for what you did, I'm a little embarrassed that I liked it... I think we can leave it at that." She took my hand and held it in hers.

I nodded but gathered my courage, "Okay, but I think there's something important I need to say first."

"Okay." She mumbled and looked away from me.

"I just think you should know that before I did the medical at the company in New York, I got tested." She looked at me nervously. "I'm clean," I offered quickly, "I just thought you should know that."

Renee laughed brilliantly, "I actually wasn't even worried about it until you said that." She shook her head, "But thanks... for telling me." She slowly ran her thumb over my lip and then dragged it down my neck and under my shirt, pulling it sideways to reveal the abrasions on my shoulder. She softly caressed the sensitive skin and pursed her lips, "I guess I took that trick a little too far, huh?"

"Trick?" I asked confusedly.

"Yeah. You know, scratching you to make you give me what I want." She gave me a self-satisfied smile and I squinted playfully at her.

"You know, you never did tell me how you knew that."

"Oh... uh... Stacey." She spoke through her teeth.

I was completely stunned. "Stacey? My Stacey?... My ex, Stacey?"

"Mhm."

"When did she tell you that?"

She pulled in a deep breath and the muscles on the sides of her neck projected and cast shadows over the furrows between the taut muscles. "Do you remember that morning? I think it was a Saturday, I was just getting back from the store and you and Stacey were making breakfast. You were wearing that white racer back top that you run in sometimes."

"Yeah, I remember." I recalled many mornings making breakfast while Stacey and I were together.

"Well, when I was putting the groceries in the fridge I saw scratch marks over your shoulder blades. Stacey saw me looking at them and when you ran to your room to get your phone she told me that it was the easiest way to 'bring out the freak' in you. She winked at me and had the scariest grin on her face."

The exact memory dawned on me and I understood so much more of recent events. "So that's why you were so flustered when I got back to the kitchen." I joked as I remembered that Renee's chest had been flushed when I walked in and she had avoided eye contact with me.

"Yes." She giggled.

"I can't believe she would tell you that." I shook my head and stared into space I tried to wrap my mind around Renee having known something so personal for so long. I looked at Renee and her expression had grown serious, her eyes were cast down and she was rubbing her forehead the way she had been the day before.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked without looking at me.

"Okay." I felt a twinge of anxiety.

Her eyes fixed to mine, "Did you love her?"

My mouth dropped open in stunned silence. It was not a difficult question to answer but it was one that I had not expected. "Yeah, I did." Renee nodded slowly. I studied her face as I wondered what her motive was for asking that question. She gave nothing away.

"I was surprised when you guys split. You always seemed so happy together." Her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows drew close together giving her a perplexed look.

"We were happy." I looked away, "But no relationship is perfect. People change." I scooted down and rested my head against the back of the sofa. "They realise they need things that you just can't give them."

"I know. I can't believe she turned it into such a big deal!" She said as though it were her that had been wronged.

"What?" I asked seriously, my head lifting from the sofa. Renee's face was suddenly struck with panic and her eyes shot wide.

"Um..." She stammered and my eyes burned into her as a rising tide of fear threatened to drown me in its depths.

"Renee?" I growled sternly, demanding an explanation and praying it would douse the rage that was beginning to flame inside my chest.

"I have a confession to make." Her voice was quivering and I detected a hint of red begin to warm her face. I turned sideways to face her and stared unmercifully at her petrified eyes.

"I was here... the night she left." She started and I pulled my hand from her grasp. "I got home early. You told me Stacey was coming over so I just put my head phones on and worked as quietly as I could. I took a break to grab a soda and I heard you arguing just before she stormed out."

My back straightened and my body went rigid.

"Amelia... Did I, did I hear her right?" Her voice softened and she reached for my hand and was startled when I yanked it away. I was numb. Vacant. Exposed. Empty.

"Look, it's okay." She tried to comfort me but my body shot off the chair and I stood shaking in front of her. "It doesn't matter to me, I just wanna understand what happened." She spoke delicately and extended her hand to me again. She touched my arm but I felt nothing. My mind hollow, my feet began to slide backwards.

"Lia?" I heard her voice as a muffle of undecipherable tones. My body turned towards the door, my vision becoming hazy. "Lia, wait." A sound under water that had faded out of recognition. The door seemed to be getting closer but I couldn't feel my body moving. The door handle was turning but I couldn't feel it against my skin. There were stifled footsteps in the distance. And a voice, "Lia, please don't!" A slamming door. The sallowed blue walls seemed to stretch on forever, the grey carpet warped under my feet. The shadowy stairwell extended and fell before me.

"I don't get it, Lia."

A haunting voice was shot from the wall and pummelled me against the opposite wall. A blinding flash shot me from that wall and pounded me back into the first. In the wake of the flash was a blurred picture. Another flash struck and sent my feet tumbling down three steps. The picture cleared and I was back in my room, stretched out across my bed as Stacey sat next to me with her legs crossed. Her shoulder length light brown hair curved smoothly around her face, her slim elbows jammed into the tops of her thighs and her small, pert breasts projected high on her chest.

"We've been together for over a year and a half." Her voice was low and sad.

"Eighteen months and twelve days." I tried to make her smile by telling her the exact length but she only sighed. I sat up on the bed and moved in front of her.

Her small dark eyes looked up at me. "Do you love me?"

I recklessly bounded down the stairs, skipping two or three steps at a time. My body was rushing forward, desperate to pull itself away from the icy mist that was starting to reel in the pit of my stomach. I felt my heart thumping in every part of my limbs, my fingers clung to the railings as my feet threw themselves onward in rapid succession and threatened to tear away from the rest of my body. My feet launched me from the last five steps and sent a powerful jolt through my bones as they landed on the tiles. They offered no time for recovery and dragged me, stumbling through the air, toward the street. As my body was propelled through the door into the cold air the streetlights stung my eyes and allowed my memories to catch me.

"Are you kidding me? Stacey you know that I love you!" I took her hands and held them tightly but they didn't react to my touch.

"Do you want to be with me?"She asked quietly as her eyes began to glisten with the building pool of tears.

"Stacey..."

A deafening clap of thunder rolled over my head and I was back on the street, breathing heavily and my hands shaking violently. I turned, commanded my feet to move and felt my body being whisked through the blustering wind. I begged my feet to move just a little faster with each step as they carried me down the buzzing street of scattered faces. Faint voices engaged in oblivious conversation or laughter cried out as I hurdled passed them. As I approached an intersection, the stationary cars in front of me began to move and I turned sharply, my shoes slipping on the concrete and bringing me to my knees. No sooner than they collided with the pavement I beseeched them to lift up and keep moving but was too late.

"Do you see a future for us?" Stacey's gentle voice cracked as the first tear rolled slowly over her left cheek and her eyes implored me for mercy.

"Please!" I yelled and pushed my body to move faster. Fewer faces littered this street and my legs kicked frantically to keep me moving. The sound of my shoes wildly scraping against the ground filled the air whizzing passed my ears and my legs began to whine. As I approached an intersection I saw a set of lights encroaching on the street from the left and I turned right, heaving my body forward to regain my speed. The car drove passed me and accelerated quickly before it turned off. I ran from my memories until I didn't know where I was and jumped as, in the distance, a bolt of lightening struck the earth directly ahead of me, carving a line through my sight.

"Of course I think we have a future!"

"Then who the HELL are you saving yourself for, Lia?" Stacey screamed in despair.

In no time at all the wave of rapidly expanding air boomed around me, carrying away Stacey's voice and left my feet and skin charged and prickling. The sudden release of adrenaline surged through my veins, reinvigorating my muscles and they drove at full speed.

"Stacey we've talked about this."

"I know! I know we've talked about it. And, Lia, I have tried so hard to wrap my mind around it, to accept it, to be patient and understanding." She lifted herself off the bed and began to pace around it. "But I don't! I don't understand it."

I felt hopeless as the familiarity of the argument took root. "Stacey, why is this so important to you? It's not like we don't have sex..."

Her slender frame stopped pacing and faced me. "You're right, we do have sex but it's not just about that. Do you have any idea what its like to feel like the woman you love more than anything in this world, doesn't trust you?"