All Comments on 'Crime & Punishment Pt. 04'

It was a well concocted tale. I admire the author's very fresh style of presenting it despite the many grammatical and spelling errors which should be blamed on the absence or lack of good editing skill. 

Some examples:

ceded and not "seeded" as in "ceded (gave up) the (crime) scene.....

in a "sheer" (not shear) dress....

indiscriminate use of semi-colon punctuation marks....

"climb the rickety ladder (not latter)...."

what was the editor thinking?

When I read other's comments I am not sure they read the same story I did. I am from the capital district area and am familiar with NY politics and this story got it correct! Thank you for real characters in a well written story. Some people can't see the forest from the trees.

I agree with Lance Spearman. After the first chapter I was expecting so much more. Whatever your vision was in that first chapter, it was lost, abandoned or forgotten for the remainder of your story. Chapter five was confusing and difficult to follow. Oh well. Disappointing.

You need some more twists and turns. More little (off shoot) stories with big bang anti-climaxes. Like, with Laurie & or Susan, Foxie included and how the new friends characters became hardcore best friends on the quiet and why for many reasons, more defined and following the one true "Law of Life" 'Do onto others as you would like them to........... And don't forget about "Poetic Justice Too"......

bill....I'm babling lol

Often the stories on this site are about power. Power between partners, rivals, or interlopers. But here the power is outside the normal dynamic. Actions are magnified ten fold to reflect on the course of politics of a large state. The story in a story of the Representative is counterpoint to Sullivan's own marriage and pregnancy.

I really love this story, especially the last chapter.

Please continue in this vein and with the subtlety required for such complex emotions.

excellent writing. I liked it. I think needs another chapter, a bit more closure for the main couple. but more about his friend foxy and his wife. Thats a couple headed to ruin unless something changes.

self cuck tale

1 star

story is to good to be posted in LW genre ,

IF this had been posted in Romance then in my opinion the Author would have scored 4.75 to 4.85 on ALL four chapters ..

(i know it's not really a romance , it's more of a Drama,suspense,Thriller)

LW category is a nightmare it has the most Hostile & Dificult to please readers & Critics.

A very good attempt for a newbie and well worth 5 stars.

A very detailed story with many characters that had depth.

I feel the ending was a little abrupt and there is scope for another chapter.

Quite a few characters to choise from to explain and explore relationships especially how they were formed or even the status post Pattersons death !

Though I am not a BTB crusader I do feel Laura got off lightly considering her involvement with Patterson. There reslly should have been more fall out regarding her.

One area could have been who was the father of her child and I was surprised Sullivan did not request a DNA test, just to certain !

OMG, how many pages have I wasted reading this cuck wimpy self apologetic I want my mommy crap. Way too many.1* how I wish -99* was available.

very good such in depth characters not like some new writers you put an lot of thought into your story cannot wait to see what you submit next

Thanks and please keep writing!

well told but I didn't really like the fact that Pat kept getting manipulated and bullied. I do understand how he kept himself low keyed because of his deadly temper. Surprisingly he did such a good job that everyone took him for granted. That was sad.

I hate stories where they end up going to counseling. Every story shows that the counselor has an agenda, though not as overt or calculating as in this story. I also find it sad that the author put Pat into a situation where he could never be happy or feel good about himself again.

Another point is that if a doctor was to talk to me the way that OB talked to him I would have fired her ass in a minute. That is unprofessional and uncalled for. But then several people of "authority" felt like they had the right to talk to him that way. All that crap about his ego or his pride getting in the way of him staying with the whore who sold her pussy for a promotion. I guess that is a resume stuffer for a lawyer, but I find it to be repulsive. Evidently so did Pat.

Well written, but as is usual in the genre the husband takes it up the butt when he is the most innocent. Too bad writer, you could have done better.

An excellent story well conceived and executed with obvious skill. I admired the richness of the characters and the intriguing subplots that all came together in the conclusion. I am sure that the BTB faction disagreed with the way you resolved things between Pat and Laura but I found it emotionally satisfying and fully justified by the characters' natures. I think there was a minor legal technicality error that probably only matters to old lawyers. Certiorari is actually part of the appeal process wherein the litigant seeks reversal of a lower court action. It is the manner in which most cases reach the U.S. Supreme Court. The situation you describe in which a litigant seeks to compel a lower court to rule on a pending matter involves a Writ of Mandamus. For the history buffs the proper application of mandamus was at issue in the famous Supreme Court case of Marbury vs. Madison . Are you bored yet?

You strayed so far from the original story, that you got completely lost, and couldn't seem to find your way back!

The first chapter was entirely pointless, because the story in chapter one became totally incidental to where you ended up.

Sub-plots can add to a story sometimes, but when they take over a story, the whole becomes meaningless gibberish.

bull hockey

1 star

Ok, I re-read the story and still don't like the fact that most of the women in this story are promiscuous bitches or hateful authoritarians. I would hate to live in that world, but I would also hate to live in New York too, so there is that. Again, you did promise to get Pat out of that horrible situation he was in. You could have at least had him get a DNA test on the baby. I would think that he would be leery of trusting the bitch. How could anyone stay married to someone else who used trickery, dishonesty and down right disrespect to keep them married to them? But, you did say she was a lawyer. So what did Pat ever do to you that made you put him in purgatory for the rest of his life? Were you the priest that he beat up?

Honestly, my biggest problems were:

a) Some dialogs don't have commas or separation and just drift from one person to another.

b) I don't understand your morality.

The guy is wrong and immature because he is not supporting his wife and forgiven her after cheating him, were we look at her history of cheating before or after the relationship or worse with Sara, which was a promiscuous adulteress and his husband, who started to cheat latter, feel terrible because he is an opportunist...ok why? What I don't get is the story of being immature. Why he is immature? Because he has pride? Because he is hurt and he lash out? Because he is not in full support of his wife cheating and the pain she is having? And this is repeated by the counselor, which seems brutal manipulation (was she supposed to be a villain-ish?) and the nurse and it seems more like a self hate story. He ended wimpy, not because he forgave her, but because he destroyed himself constantly and hurt himself for an action that was not his, bowing down to the manipulation of everybody around him.

That's my problem with your story: your possible thematic and exposition don't concur with what you show. It's like, have you seen those gags of documentaries, where the voice describe something, possible cheery while the image is gruesome or just plain bizarre? Like that, but you seem to try to play it straight. There is a dissonance that become more and more pronounced with the story and honestly, I don't see what the wife (of both of them) learned. I just don't get the moral and in this type of stories, the moral, the pay-off is the crucial part of your work.

Sorry, but I star at best.

Excellent writing,lease keep it up.

I felt for this guy. He was no whimp.

He was changed by what his wife did, just as many are changed by tragic events.

There is pressure on women in the workplace, and she was taken advantage of by frank.

There are a few things I would change.

You wrote the affair had sizzle. This implies she was enjoying it. Yet later wrote implying she was not really enjoying it that much, and felt pressured into it to get the promotion she felt she needed to have a happy family. Based on her sex acts prior to marriage she also has some mental health issues that she needs to address concerning her view of herself.

Finally he knew of the impending affair yet allowed it to happen. I know of no man that would not have intervened. You addressed this is the dialogue about counseling but to briefly. The wife for example would have used this fact.

So these things needed addressed in editing.

This cries out for a sequel concerning his friend foxy. His friends marriage has train wreck written all over it. She seemed to becoming remorseful and focusing on her husband foxy, while her playing around was driving him to other women.

I would hope for a good outcome for that couple, but the story needs told.

Overall very good writing and storyline.

good writing, compelling story, keep it up

First, I basically stand by my earlier comments, though I wish I could lower my rating due to the, IMHO undeserved, RAAC. The way Laura's character (in both senses of the word!) was essentially reconstructed, apparently just to attempt to justify the RAAC leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Susan: “I don't buy this tit-for-tat thing. For starters men can't keep up their end. Steven never had to go wanting for sex.”

Again the lame argument that because women can physically have more sex than men that they should be allowed outside lovers.

Why is Frank so full of himself? Sure, he uses his money, position and looks to seduce vulnerable women, but the firm has to keep transferring him because he keeps getting into trouble.

made no logic, she never said she was wrong or sorry....wimp, god bless America home of the pussiest men alive writing stories, fuck...just fuck....read it before you post it.

I usually don't comment on stories here and this one deserves it.

Thanks for nothing. ..total B.S.

only this time the Blocks are manned.

What is this shit about cuckold hubby needing to grow up... Was this really written by a woman? His slut cheated on him.... I'm so sure telling wives of cheating husbands they just needed to grow up and get over it would so work... Is his daughter really his or Franks or somebody else's? Does Pat ever get some pussy as payback for his slut's adultery? Naw he's just a cheating ruthless scumbag attorney/politician. That didn't have the balls to get laid by all the hot to trot females in the AG's office. And there is absolutely nothing remotely erotic about this story. It's merely depressing. Started well, but ended up crap. Wifey is a cheating slut. She will always be a cheating slut. It's called a character flaw. Way too many incidental characters, of no import, and too unbelievable a character change for the main characters. Pat goes from not going to take her back, no way no how, to aw shucks ok she gives better blow jobs now... And he is going to live happily ever after with the slut that caused him to be a cripple? If she didn't have an affair with slimeball Frank he wouldn't be a cripple.... And I'd have kicked the bitch out of my hospital room, gotten a restring order to keep her away. So I guess Pat's real crime was being a faithful loving husband and his punishment for not being a good little willing cucky is to be a cripple. Great.... Where is the punishment for his wife's crime of infidelity? Poor Pat is now in an even worse place than chapter 3. Locked in a jail of a marriage with no hope of escape.

then you begin to read all these stories and then masturbate like a fag and sissy that you become. Hi fag and sissy annony!! You made it!!! You're not only a sissy fag but a dim witted cock sucker

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the 4 chapters. Thank you for sharing.

There are a few areas I have problems with like how can Pat remain with his wife? Her affair wasn't short term.

Anyway, Your characters hold promise for a continuing saga. There is a good possibility of equaling Daniel Quentin Steele's "When we were married" saga.

Definitely worth the five stars I gave.

I'm not going to wade through close to 150 comments, as many of the ones I did read reflect the lack of careful reading by the writers. RichardGerald did tie up the loose ends and explained (1) why Foxy would do anything to help Pat; (2) that Pat was maneuvered into staying with Laura by his love for his two ladies and the Governor's appointment; and (3) the role Saul played, and his reasons, in blocking the divorce and in getting Pat the appropriation he needed.

The author did add lots of political inside baseball details that readers can work through or skip over and still keep the story together. This is way beyond a standard cheating and RAAC story.

I thoroughly enjoyed:)

Really enjoyed the depth and breadth of the story. Your characters were well developed and appropriately flawed. Nice conclusion too.

Thanks for the enjoyable read!

I suppose I will go along with this man taking HIS wife back. After her psyche was explained it made her seem not as guilty as she appeared. I had no excuse.

An excellent story told by a very proficient story teller.

The storyline was completely captivating and well written.

Thank you very much for all of the work that you have put into this beautiful story.

Please consider doing a follow up story about Steven and Susan's relationship!

Thanks for the great read!

“The thing I want most after fucking someone else is to go to bed with Steven. I need his sweet loving after.”

Ugh, sloppy seconds!

“She was not sharing her money with me. I knew she was desperately afraid I would leave her given the chance and the funding.”

She “loves” him, and wants to stay married to him, but won’t share her money? He should take her to court!

"YOUR WIFE is dehydrated, emaciated, and anemic and that's just her.”

Well, maybe if she hadn’t fought the divorce she would be his EX-wife, and not in an unhappy pseudo-marriage.

"Marriage is never easy- being a parent is harder. Sometimes you have to do what your family needs not what you want. It's time to grow up."

WTF? So just because his wife essentially RAPED him, he has to stay married to her despite her REPEATED infidelities?

Not the end I wanted to read, but then again I didn't write it. I've no empathy for cuckolds or wimps even if they are depicted as the heroes of a fictional story. Cheers!

and the manipulations to get him to take her and keep her. When does this man get a chance at life? After all dead wives tell no lies, and would have been better if she and Frank both had died of an overdose together.

The characters were well drawn and credible, the plot was properly intricate and the resolutions were more than satisfactory. Even the law was pretty accurate, although certiorari does involve an appeal, or more properly the continuation of an appeal. The only unlikely characterization was that of Frank Patterson - if he was valuable enough for an octopus law firm to move around and protect, he had to have either a loyal client base (not according to the story) or a very lucrative specialty (also not according to the story). In any event, the practice of law is such - and this is everywhere and more pronounced in the larger firms - that he would have been warned once and then let go. The liability potential is just too high, and guys like Solomon simply don't permit those termites to drill into the foundation plates of something they have taken their lives to build. Another thing about those guys: Just like Fitzgerald, they are utterly ruthless. Had Fitzgerald not done Patterson, Solomon might well have!

....but I join those asking for more....the consequence of presenting a story that is interesting, engaging and goes somewhere.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon your POV), you left the Sullivan's relationship with loose ends. It sounds like he's back. And for good. Does he know with certainty the baby is his? He's forgiven, but has demonstrated the Irish penchant for "justice" and has a deep wound still weeping from her adulterous behavior. For whatever reason....and no excuses, her fucking to get the nod was a misguided and damaging choice. There is more to this story. Will you write it?

I hope so.

he must have had to leave his spine at the office. It's a well written but cynical and sad story with an ending but no resolution. Laura will be peddling her ass again in five years and Pat will like.

The court ordered counseling was absurd and the "therapist" a real hack.

Why do fricking lawyers think they can write? And before you bring it up, Grisham QUIT being a lawyer to practice a more honorable profession. :)

EVERYONE here was a snake, And I am too old and far to jaded to believe that Pat is going to make anything close to a good parent nor with the wife, They should adopt it out, Also, if he is the tough guy he is reputed to have become, why cave in to all the other folks in the story?

But the real crime here (yes, pun intended) is that Richard forgot want he was supposed to be writing. This wasn't a procedural. It wasn't a wank story. In fact, what was it?

Peyton Place!

Writing was good but I just felt tired by the time I finished the series.

Too too many loose ends.

Personally I hate when somebody like him who is genius level smart and doesn't take things lying is manipulated so easily.

Why make such a powerful story into a RAAC story?

It just doesn't fit the character.

Overall a story nicely done. My personal issue with it is that Laura and Pat didn't seem to reconcile her infidelity. There didn't seem to be any closure. Maybe that's what the author wanted.

Wimp husband, accepts being a cuckold. Cheating wife wins. Long involved winding tale leading to a spineless husband.

There is no resolution. This is my second reading and I think I Appreciate the nuances more this time around. The ending was up in the air but, so what...that's life!

I notice you haven't written anything recently. I hope the anonybirds and naysayers haven't chased you away. Thanks for sharing your story.

Big problem is that she cheats and everyone says get over it. Wimp of a man the husband is.

I enjoyed the story more the second time around, but was left with the feeling there should be more. Great character development that should to be expanded into a second chapter, or a stand alone story. I hope you will consider writing another

We miss your talents. Thank you for sharing with us.

Brujay

I think this whole series is one of the better LW series on Lit and I hope the author writes again. Reminiscient of Rehnquist or Daniel Q Steele. Perhaps just a different name de plum for the same writer.

I see you wrote this series last year, but have started writing back again. I plan to read all your submissions.

Three things I want to point out, was lack of punctuation where it was needed, made it hard to read at times. Secondly, there were too many names to keep track of in a story this long. I had to stop and think, "now who is this?"

Finally, would have liked to have had more sex scenes to read, and less political haggling.

I gave 4 *'s on all the first three, but 5 on the last because of the ending.

So I reread my comments and thought about them.

I still stand by everything I said before.

HOWEVER:

This high octane criticism is based upon extreme frustration. The quality of the writing is very good (misspellings, homophones etc notwithstanding). In three short paragraphs, Richard Gerald was able to give me a textual flavor of that black woman prosecutor, that slut with breast cancer. And if this story was 15 pages long, he would have had scope for all these little deviations and bits of flavor in a 15 course dinner.

Unfortunately, he had FIVE pages. So every bit of writing however good, introducing us to that crooked cop/investigator, Foxy's jaded past, the woes of his wife at his fucking around...that took away from a) the wife and husband whom we actually CARE about and b) from the crime drama.

The whole reverend slipping the salami to that politicians wife COULD have been interesting...but we never learned about them, we never met their characters and we never CARED. We read about people talking about things. Not exactly gripping drama.

So I am beating my head against the wall screaming "Why couldn't you have taken this care, this quality of writing and applied it to the politician? Why didn't you tell the story about how this lawyer got out from under the claws of his bitch wife?"

We did not get that story, alas. An outline would have been helpful. When the flavor text word count starts to edge out the main plot(S!), this is a story which needed herding back on track.

But I dream about how good that story could have been. The problems was not ideas. It was not characterization. It was not description. No, it was purely structural and the wandering eye of the author, who felt he needed to focus on the background much more than the couple who are right in front of the camera. We want to see the bride and groom, not cleavage shots of the chunky bridesmaid with a mastectomy scar.

Please keep writing.

When I saw the author's name it rang a bell. I was not sure whether I had read his other stories before. I thought "his stories may not have impressed me, would

that account for my lack of interest in his name". Anyway I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I did not regret reading this very good story.

spelling, word use, and punctuation fell to a seventh-grade level in places.

A good story, but it felt...exactly like the author said....Not planned. Don't know that i liked how it ended, but it was good enough to read all the way through.

And that was because it was well written.

It lost points not only because Laura got away with her whoring, but because SHE was made out to be the victim and PAT the bad guy.

Other thoughts:

Regarding the supposed ability for the women to be ABLE to have more sex than the men, therefore as long as they don’t deny their husbands the cheating is okay, I have a couple of thoughts:

First, to whatever extent that is true, it needs to be with the husband’s knowledge AND approval; if it is justified and correct it shouldn’t have to be hidden.

Second, if a WIFE’S libido is lower than her husband’s, and he satisfies her when she needs it, is it okay for HIM to take lovers?

"Who said anything about an open marriage? Really Laura!" – That’s right! In an “open” marriage BOTH partners are allowed outside lovers, in Susan’s world only SHE is allowed them!

“Great for the guys-unless you had a jealous, pregnant, and emotionally fragile estranged spouse.”

Why should HE care? If he had his way he wouldn’t HAVE a spouse, pregnant or otherwise. They’re only still married because she took advantage of his injuries, and she essentially raped him to get pregnant!

“It’s time to ‘grow up’”? – So that means he has to accept an unacceptable situation?

and get back to writing. Great read. Thanks

what a dusgusting unbelievable piece of crap. time wasted.

You tried to make the reconciliation seem reasonable, but you failed miserably. After all the counseling he still didn't budge. After she manipulated him into getting her pregnant, he still didn't get close to her. In fact you made a point of showing how disinterested he was in her well-being. He is portrayed as a tough hard-nosed character and then in the end you leave him a cum-slurpping wimp. If you want him to be a limp-dicked cuckold in the best brit style, then you have to lay the foundation for it. You didn't come close to even attempting it. An epic failure.

That was due to the ideas brought out. That being said, it mirrors life in a small fashion, ok, she had low self esteem, wanted to make partner for the families well being yada yada yada yada. It doesn't even begin to excuse her actions. Foxy said it best with his comment about actions having consequences either right now or later in the future. The husband should have confronted them right there. He was a Frigon ADA, and could make the accusations of sexual misconduct. He wasn't a tough guy, but he wasn't a willing cuckold at the same time. Truth be told, he was willing to let her lead and manipulate him because of his love for her. She took him for granted, no ambiguity there. When he went to strike back he failed to consider that her boss would do almost anything to avoid publicity.

He, the husband, failed her. Had he gotten up and forced the issue prior to the partnership, she may have gotten it on the spot due to Franks history that no one seemed to know about. I do believe that should this have been real life, she now wouldn't do it again, but how do you un-ring a bell. You can't and that is the plain truth. Susan though takes the cake. Bitching about how it wasn't an open marriage. When Laura tells her that she basically handed him a get out of jail free card I just kept thinking pot kettle? Susan's comeback though showed that she was almost as bad. It was never described or told just how many times she went with Susan to blow off steam. That in and of itself put Laura's mindset in the wrong place. The "therapist" however was a criminal. He should have asked what would have happened had he had a female superior and he slept with her for the advancement of his career and family stability. I would have LOVED to have read how that one would have been answered by the good doctor and the esteemed esquire. He then gets almost killed because of that idiot who didn't think that anyone could get back at him. Part of that was Laura not having taken her husbands name. It was just another telling fact. And to all who told him to grow up, would have liked to see what they would do themselves in his shoes. Laura did pay in the end due to her own conscience as it was eating her up inside. As they say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Ok I'm done preaching and spewing clichés at you. It needed more fleshing out instead of mindless drivel for four chapters. I kept hoping that the next chapter would be better. Keep writing, your stories have originality in their execution, but need more work. So keep them coming, and please, no more reconciliation at all costs.

I like the way you turned the innocent Patrick Sullivan into a man

You know you could've cut at least a 1 and a half form each chapter and gotten the same story? There is no reconciliation if that's what you were trying to do. Same old shit dumb ass married to a whore wife.

Whole story boils down to a Pussy Whipped, Willing Cuckold married to a faithless cheating Whore.

Make no mistake, besides being a Slut, Laura was a Whore. She bedded Patterson to obtain advancement (money), she's a whore.

Saul saw fit to involve himself in Sullivan's marriage and successfully manipulated the wimp into accepting the Matt M. Cuckold award.

No real men were hurt in this story because there were NONE!

Damn! I wished there were Minus Scores available here.. 1* cause there ain't no lower.

Just saying, YMMV

I got past 1st grade readers and 1 dimensional characters a long time ago. Reality is often more than black and white, real people are all the colors of the rainbow and that can change over time, forgiveness is possible but often doesn't happen, fool me once, etc. I am sure, if they were real people these 2 would have a redefined, not so satisfying a relationship as before. To me, they are much more engrossing characters than Dick and Jane and I, for 1 like just the way it is. You did good!

DHL

"I'm the one in control of everything that matters in our marriage, making all of the decisions of any import... and it's in ANY way my husband's fault I decide to fuck my way up the ladder of success...?

Really?!? What good would it have done to confront her at the restaurant...? His word against their's (he didn't know the affair was almost common knowledge in her firm)... and why should he believe she wouldn't have just snuck around after...?

You already made a point of how it's his money and hers not theirs so not likely he'd have been able to hire a PI adequately...

And Saul already made it clear he'd back one of his people even when they were wrong... and not like he'd have wanted any lawsuit against the firm - especially since those on high already knew about Frank's behavior...

You could argue that Pat did the same - doing something wrong to further himself - but everyone already agrees that wasn't who he was... he needed his wife to break him (a paraphrase from an earlier chapter) before he did it... what was HER excuse...?

No one broke her here. Her being a slut is apparently who she was almost comfortable with being - it was only her presumed love for Pat that made her feel bad about doing that stuff. I guess she managed to find a way around that though, huh...? (Her whole breakdown in later chapters not withstanding...)

But could be better.

Laura never apologized to Wolf.

Fox is stupid because his wife is cuckolding him over and over again

This was overall a good read. HDK pointed out some of the flaws. It was somewhat convoluted, switched between POV's and the deadly "your" vs "you're" controversy - that's one common error that gets under my skin.

Still, this was a worthy effort that kept my interest from beginning to end. The BTB crowd wanks their dicks and complain that he didn't kill his wife, though he came close. This is far too literate an effort for them.

But this was far better than the average Literotica story. It had a deep plot, devious characters who showed both good and evil traits - hey, what is this, real life? - and finally came to a satisfying conclusion.

Keep writing, RichardGerald. You are only going to get better.

Most Literotica submissions are mindless stroke junk, cuck crap that would gag a maggot, or juvenile revenge fantasies. While this does suffer from numerous grammar issues, the substance is so far above the majority, it should be in its own category. Loved it. Thank you for sharing!

Although, this was a long story it held my interest all the way through it. This was so above most of the stories here. I admit there is a lot of stuff in the story that didn't really pertain to the story but, I guess you felt that it had some beneficial effects to the story as a whole. Anyway, it was well worth the 5 stars that I gave it. But, that's just my opinion. I'm sure there will be others who will down grade or demean this story but the hell with them IT IS A DAMN GOOD STORY. good job.

It is as good as the first time 5*

After all, stories are why we read any of this stuff. It was far from perfect and the lack of punctuation was a bit jarring, as was the spelling. HOWEVER, the story itself was more intricate in plot and compelling with it's characters that 99.5% of the writing on this site. That's why I gave it a five.

big fucking shitty messy ending to a pretty crappy series. you had to stop at ch1.

I had believed that Steven Fitzgerald was cheatng on his wife for some sort of revenge. Upon reflection, I now think that it's just another contest, another opportunity for him to win at something. (Not that I'm at all bothered by Susan being the loser)

You wrote a great story with strong characters,don't listen to the trolls!!

And soon. Minor problems here. I've read it 3 times now & enjoyed it more each time.

RichardGerald is easily one of the top 10 writers in this genre.

It'd be nice to see these characters woven into another story or set of stories.

5*

Outstanding story compared to some off the dross here.

Full of emotional moments. The wife should have been punished and our absolutist

will say that she got off scot-free. But I do believe she walked many a mile to get back.

It is his decision and there is a baby which as the obngyn points out changes everything.

Correction for this and the other chapters, it is "used to" not "use to"

The general rule is that the latter only fits in sentences with "did/didn't"

Please fix it

Aside from his initial revenge, Pat has been continually belittled, guilted, and manipulated, letting himself get maneuvered into a place he didn't want to be, there is nothing more frustrating than an impotent protagonist. Laura was right in the last chapter's ending, she won, her and that old bastard Saul.

At the very least Pat should have insisted that she quit her job, the job that lead to her infidelity, if she wanted to stay married to him, or perhaps even things out with that attractive secretary.

This chapter should clearly have gotten an extra round with the proofreader after those changes the author mentioned.

use to - used to

dress to kill - dressed to kill

being practice on him - being practiced on him

he lunched right in to - he launched right into

Now I need - Now, I need

venerable - vulnerable

Slone's - Sloane's

looking all well - looking all that well

get over - get over it (not sure what was intended in that sentence)

. Neither had he - , nor had he

societies need - society's need

seeded the scene - relinquished the scene (spelling error, also ceded is not used in this context)

your all over the news - you're all over the news

I do not understand why anyone would bother to comment on this shit.

My favorite comment ever.

This is about the complete story of course. Sure there's a bit of errors but so what. Overall I give you whatever the max is on this site for a story written in such a way to be hooked to the end . . .

I agree with a previous writer that your story is great if your usage is a bit lacking (so is nearly everyone else's!).

I hope you continue entertaining and enlightening us with your stories.

But crappy story.

As above nothing more to say blown away

WTF....he wanted to divorce and end up having a kid...BURN THAT SLUT,BITCH, WHORE whatever you call her...

You end up making Pat a Wimp and fall prey to his wife devious act...

Are you sure that that daughter is Pat's coz I don't trust that whore..

Make sure you burn that bitch when you continue...make Pat to b more sexual...Fuck many women and flaunt them to Laura.and hurt that bitch....that is the only way He AND YOU AS AN AUTHOR will gain respect from me...

Let pat peace DA office/ department and go n join. A law firm..he will b a Shark....so will Foxy...I am happy that Foxy is having a share of women and not just let his wife cuckolded him...

with writing an excellent story. It's a pity that those with compromised emotions are unable to appreciate the reconciliation. I thought you set it up and handled it in a reasonable manner. Well done.

All I can say is the story is Excellent. I know a lot of Readers wanted the BTB ending but if they paid Attention they would have Realised that his Wife took advantage of his incapacity to get Pregnant. then the Dr. drove it home "if not for your wife then the Child" take care of Buisness so he did. Then after he was Better he and Steven found out that her Employers bought the Whole divorce off. He would have had to start all over by then the Child was born and I'm sure he had a Paternity test done to be sure.

re:

I know a lot of Readers wanted the BTB ending

What a lot of us wanted was for Pat to get free of his amoral whore wife as RG promised he would........but then completely forgot about and put him totally under her thumb.

Whether she and her co-conspirators were punished matters less than that.

thank you

...two chapters were excellent, everything since beginning of counsel is an absolute degradation an rape of the protagonist, literally. Disgusted with your manner of cockolding and complete lack of basic rights and respect that you took away from him.

What was it about the priest's race that required inclusion?

Maybe one day you'll find out that some nigger is fucking YOUR wife. I'd be interested in what you're attitude about race relations is THEN.

As for this series... I liked it except for the author selling the bullshit about Pat accepting the fact that his wife Laura, a full grown woman, isn't fully responsible for cheating on him when she started fucking Frank Patterson and disrespecting the man that she swore to honor, when she took her wedding vows

((( “Will you have this man as your lawful wedded partner, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love him, honor him, comfort him and keep him in sickness and in health; FORSAKING ALL OTHERS, BE TRUE TO HIM FOR AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?” )))

She answered “I will”, then proceeded to fuck Frank Patterson and came home with his cum in her cunt, locked herself in their bathroom to douche it out before lovingly kissing her ‘sleeping’ husband and saying, “I love you.” ??? He was dead right. She’s a fucking whore. She sold her cunt for a partnership. There’s no fucking way in this lifetime that I’d forgive what that cheating slut had done to us or let her back into my life.

I give the story ONE star because the author tried to jamb that Liberal crud down our throats.

Crawl back under your sad little bridge, you dumbass troll anon. Sorry you had to read a long story so you could throw a hissy fit and give one star. I enjoyed the arc of the story. It was odd how two gentle introverted friends with dominating wive's wound up where they are- the transition was a bit rocky and abrupt at times; I particularly thought the reveal that Laura was not the confident Yale lawyer we thought but a clingy insecure future stay-at-home mom was a bit much. I do like the nice subtlety and interplay and politics running through the story. The author does that very well, and I think his skill in this area is very exceptional. I'd certainly buy and read a procedural thriller that RichardGerald wrote, if he ever went that direction. 5 stars.

for a great read and to offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote!!

Vote 1* for every story rated by THE FAT WHORE (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!

I've been reading the comments to decide if I want to re-read this (most of the new stuff is crappy I need to re-read to find anything decent!), and just wanted to add something to KarenE's comment of 01/01/15 regarding women's supposed ability to have more sex than men. First, as KarenE said, how does women's supposed ABILITY to have more sex than men translate into a license to cheat? Second, IF that were somehow true, then a husband whose wife lost her libido and he needed more sex than she could/would give him, he also has license to cheat! Right?

"Marriage is never easy- being a parent is harder. Sometimes you have to do what your family needs not what you want. It's time to grow up." - And how about HER growing up and doing what her family needs, not what she wants?

LOL, I just came across an old comment of mine where I said essentially the same things, but I think they're important enough that they bear repeating!

The character development was top notch. Thank you for holding my attention through every chapter.

I'm going to have to reread this just to make sure I didn't miss anything.

Is Saul somehow guilty of the infidelity between Mrs. Sullivan and Frank Patterson?

Would love another story with these characters.

Bravo!

I can't add any more to all the accolades.

i just plain LIKED IT!

Thanks

Plot: let's see in this day of sexual harassment legislation, a female law firm associate is seduced by a senior partner with the apparent knowledge of a managing partner/lobbyist with no action taken, thus exposing the firm to all manner of legal recourse. The subject associate, who previously, and while dating her future husband, had participated in at least one six-way orgy prior to her friend's marriage. Following her own marriage to her "one true love," she then allows herself to be penetrated digitally and otherwise manipulated at a Christmas party by a senior partner, for whom she works, and where almost anyone who could have stumbled upon their behaviour--her husband, in fact did. She then enters into a long term affair with said senior partner whom she blows on their first outing and allows him anal intercourse on the second; so we know that she is minimally a slut, or is prostituting herself for financial advantage. And somehow, we are to believe that 1) she deeply regrets her long history of being a sexual toy and adulteress, with little self-control, and 2) that her morally upright Jesuit educated husband, now knowing most, if not all of her history of deception, manipulation, and sexual wantoness

blithely forgives and forgets. Bologna beyond belief.

Lastly: commas, semi-colons, colons, dashes and ampersands are not interchangeable. Each has a function and there are many online guides to their use. Misuse causes the reader to reread in order to make sense of it all.