All Comments on 'Doing My Best to Not Be a Problem'

I've been going through the loving wives section A-Z, currently in the M's, and this story is both original and funny. Good job!

Loved this . Nice BTB story .

I guess a snake has a similar shape as a pickaxe handle so expect a visit from the homeowners association that's been formed here in Literotica . The president of the association is called Harddaysknight and his two minions are named swingerjoe and luedon . They have appointed themselves as the monarchy and theocracy and keeper of morality here .

Since your main character didn't submit to his rightful place , tied to the chair while wearing a small cock cage while the she gets her daily injection from the bull , then it seems that you are now in noncompliance with the associations acceptable outcomes of any and all stories posted here .

I'm told that the new rules for Literotica will be posted as soon as they arrive from the sign makers.

So while the proverbial gods of the site will try to smite you down for your blasphemy I loved it .

nice story

Well that was funny, and original. Nice and tight story. Thanks.

First off, last anon, shut the fuck up. You know not of what you speak. Next, great tale. The cheating cunt got what she deserved. Her married lover also. Continue the great work.

Five Stars

The anon I told off was deleted. His comment sucked anyway.

Get help before you hurt somebody.

I , for one , can suspend my imagination for a work of fiction . Seems to be an ability that is in short supply lately .

Unless you were intentionally ' poking the ferrets ' , maybe tone it down a bit for our more delicate members or give a heads up in a forward that it's a intense subject matter , then if they want to complain , by all means let them gnash teeth and howl at the moon . They're probably looking for some excuse to anyway .

4 *'s.

Loved every second of it.

To Assholes that didn't like it I would say:

I am sorry that he didn't suck other guys cum from stretched asshole,

but not every one is brainless cuck.

5

An original but severe revenge...For a person suffering from Ophidiophobia (snake phobia) being closed with two big snakes for a long time is pure sadistic mental torture...For the lover to have the same kind of revenge he should have had his dick (not his fingers) bitten by a venomous snake...3*

punishments that can fit any criminal activity, TK U MLJ LV NV

Who do you think put the venomous snake in Jacob's car? The lost a couple of fingers. His wife is divorcing him and he lost his job. Sounds like good BTB stuff to me.

I'm probably as sick as you are for giving this a 5.

# 5 Most stories on here are about gay married men. Its refreshing to read something that breaks through that homo barrier and entertains. Great job!!!

a story about four snakes jacob, the wife and his pals two, i'm happy as long as the two real snakes didn't get hurt.

Thanks for sharing.

Gotta love poetic justice, she wanted an extra trouser-snake in her life - she got what was coming to her.

5/5

Your critical reading and thinking skills are in very short supply if you can't tell the difference between Sbrooks103, impo_64 and others' expressed opinions when they have clearly gone to the trouble, honesty and courage to identify themselves prior to their comments.

At times I agree, and at others disagree with those named commenters. But once we comment, a conversation is possible, because we named contributors don't snipe anonymously from the trees. We own our comments, and many like sbrooks103 also are contributing authors. In short, get an ID or shut your cowardly piehole.

This is specifically directed to one Anonny. But since all anonnys hide in the same treeline, none of you should feel comfortable sniping irresponsibly at identified contributors. We win all arguments, because you're only allowed one comment.

Please use your one anonymous comment per story as constructive criticism or comments, not as a means to unleash all your pent-up anger at all of the people who have unknowingly wronged you.

Author: I enjoyed the irreverent look into the end of a marriage between a woman who didn't take her vows seriously, and a husband who responded in kind. Pretty sharp of ol' hubby to catch on to the affair so quick. 'I noticed during my post-sex shower that the tub drain is getting clogged.' What a novel way to catch a cheater!

Great Story

Goddamn hilarious! Hahahaha!!

one of the most original story lines I've read.

Don't Forget the Consequences, TK U MLJ LV NV

A little Over the top, as we Brits say, but still a good story with an original plot. Glad the snakes were OK!

And Britease, if you are like me and lived through the last 30-40 years of British governments, the insults here should be like water off a duck's back!

Not sure I have seen one quite written with this plot point - snakes. So an enjoyable reading time was completed. I saw Britesse (sp sorry) comment and I do have to agree the quality is down lately But I have seen it ebb down and up over the years. As for comments - Yes many comments are WORTHLESS (mostly Anon)! I know of several e-published authors who got there start on this site and have admitted it and appreciated the feedback to make them better writers. I know you have to have thick skin to write on this site and in LW especially. I appreciate all writers who are willing to try. To be honest I don't read stories that are rated low (2 and below is a no go) because of time constraints.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading. .

Maybe BTB means Bite The Bastard in this case. It seems that the perp did indeed get the point. Five stars for sure!

4*

I felt sorry for the snakes,having to put up with a yelling large mammal. The victim was

fast off the starting blocks.

I repeat, Ah Ha! Finally a “get even” plan which I have not read before. M&M, you have a devious mind. I never want to get on your bad side. Thanks!

Now this was ORIGINAL! Nice. Thanks.

Oh my God! Loved it! With what's on the tube all day, I really need a laugh. 😂

Finally the one story that feels original.....u gave me goosebumps man.its awesome

Original revenge. Can't do it any better.

As an snake owner and handler i have a 18 foot retic python for the next time plus some other large pythons. I feel sorry for the condas though having to put up with a cheating whore wife... I also have and handle venomous snakes also my fave is a big diamond back named killer.. I loved the story and gave it 5 stars burn baby b urn is my motto. Kind of a spin on the gas -light trick if you will. pleas keep up the great writing and stories.

A spin on an old proverb;; Never piss off the gator till after crossing the river...

Liked it.

Efficient concise perfect

EMT Police or someone would check the bathroom door lock and discover the charade. Story was cute until you think about reality. Author has talent. Well written and inventive. Need to use that talent to write why wife was involved with Jacob and vice versa. Less reptiles and more about the human snakes.

Read the story. He replaced the normal door handle before he called the police.

Well developed and executed but too much BTB for me.

Thanks for the effort.

Can't be enough BTB for cheaters...

The retribution was funny and unique. Sorry chief but cheaters-short of death in real life-deserve as much retribution as the betrayed feels like delivering.

The seducer of his wife has severely disrupted the lives of his family.

I have witnessed the long term effects cheating and divorce has on the mental health and lives of children. My wife's sister-in-law's affairs and the resulting divorce put her then 6 and 8 year old boys in a tailspin that years of expensive therapy did little to correct. Two bright, cheerful, courteous young boys grew up sullen and rebellious. Neither one has a high school degree and both ended up with extensive juvie records.

Their father was financially ruined trying to pay the therapists.

Yep, it is just sex.

Certainly. But a great story nonetheless. 5 stars.

I had been thinking that this category had gotten stale, but I see there is still some creativity in the world. It is a bit over the top, but fun none-the-less.

And extremely cruel. Cheating is extremely bad but not worth driving a person insane over or possibly killing a person with a deadly snake. The cops couldn't figure out where the deadly snake came from? They're illegal to own. I don't think he would have gotten away with this shit and even if he did, he shouldn't have.

Are you retarded or just stupid?

1: Yellow Anacondas are in no way deadly. At all. Literally the ONLY way one could kill you is if you physically wrapped it around your neck and provoked it into constricting until it strangled you. And even then it would most likely stop squeezing once you let go of it.

2: By the time the cops got there, there were no snakes. That was kinda the point, smart guy; make her look crazy when she's ranting and raving about snakes that aren't there. Implausible? Yes, but again, that's kinda the point.

3: Yellow Anacondas are NOT illegal to own, at least in the US. I can literally buy one right now for about $150.

If you're gonna talk shit, at least know the shit that you're talking about.

So they are vegatarians the long sunshine constrictors. Perhaps survive by osmosis and air supplys nutrients.

Good to know, except if you are a plant. I mean people talk to plants with noted responses. Certainly swallowing one would be deadly to the plant.

I won't say anything about the story but you seem to have missed this part entirely;

"Jacob checked into the same hospital for a short stay. He was bitten by a venomous snake he found in his car. They had to amputate a few fingers."

I believe this is the snake anonymous was talking about, not the anacondas.

How can this possible be over the top? She's as sane as she ever was. It's just that he has the medical community believing she's nuts. Absolutely brilliant. Until she disowns what she knows to be the truth she'll be labeled nuts. No sympathy for the guy nailing a married woman.

Especially the two legged kind.

Great. It's just a story, though. I can't understand how the snacks werent harmed, and the snakes, but hurting an animal is probably looked worse upon than underage stuff. I think it might not have turned out so well, which makes it a decent story that isn't as ridiculous as going AWOL and dropping a GBU-15 on the two cheaters. Sorry, if they both pay, just go all out and take them both out. Tasty.

Until we have cheating as a legal crime

(moral crime it definitely is),

victims must serve justice.

Thanks moreandmore for taking the time

to create and entertain us with this impressive story!

Top ratings from me.

Don't be obtuse, you know anacondas are counted as an exotic species and as such are banned from being owned or require permits to own in more States than not.

you REALLY think that banning stuff keeps it from existing?

bruh.... lmao I had an illegal lizard for almost 20 years. You'd think the pet store owners would be all, "o hoes....but pc liberal fruit cake laws dictate that..."

nooope! their eyes light up. they talk about how COOL my species of lizard is, then they (i shit you not) brag and show me pictures on their phone about THEIR illegal lizards.

that's the reality. Admittedly, I felt bad owning such an exotic pet because the literature on them is scarce. But having her live with me in a huge home made tank for almost 20 years was a blessing. She ate lots of insects and mice. apparently they can count up to four according to Harvard studies. pretty neat huh?

With a dick. Good fun.

Good one. But I think this venomous end would convince police that there is something fishy about snakes here so one would not be off easily.

Am I wrong? I thought Yellow Anacondas were non-venomous & killed by wrapping themselves around you and squeezing. Unless they did that, I'd say proving they were ever there would be difficult at best. (Unless it was meant in sarcasm.)

With a forensic expert. And guess what they found? Snake scales. And scratches on the screws that held the locks in place. Then they found the broken lock in the garage. Then they found Alex. Because with two big snakes he had to feed them something and get a vet to take care of them. Within a week Matt was in jail with no possibility of bail. He lost everything in the divorce to his wife. Of course he was going to spend the next 16-18 years in prison so he really didn't need the money. That's a more likely ending than yours. Of course, given the state of the mental health departments in our country, they kicked Dora out after 48 hours as they had no place to put her. It took her no time at all to get a gun and blow Matt's brains out. The end.

It's funny that you're so smug about the realities of the mental health industry, but not the police. Your whole post is just a list of things that are possible if anyone gave a shit. No one was harmed other than a woman freaking out about apparently non-existent snakes, this is not something detectives are spending their time on. Just because these things are possible with forensics doesn't make them likely at all.

The vast number of mentally ill people overflowing the mental health industry are all dealt with by cops or paramedics in the first place, making her a grain of sand on the beach. No one is sending forensic techs to check a bathroom for snake scales because a crazy lady said so. And her trauma with her phobia left her a basket case for real, so no one had a reason to suspect it was gas lighting.

If she had been lucid afterward then maybe you would have a point. Detectives and a forensics team?? It isn't he said/she said. It's he said, she's in a mental hospital and lashes out screaming if anyone moves near her. There's not a cop alive that would give credibility to her version of events.

"Sure, lady who was institutionalized for a break down involving hallucinations about snakes, as witnessed by two uniformed officers. We'll use our investigative and forensic resources to check for proof of snakes in your bathroom so you have better footing in the divorce proceedings. Just as soon as we solve all the rapes and murders. Wait by the phone."

Good read needs more info for afterwards

It's a read.

Hope no snakes were harmed in writing this story!

It's a fucking fictional story. Chill. If you want the story to end differently, write your own. And as far as people worrying about cops, doctors, mental health people, nurses, and all the other people involved - Their time was worth him dumping a cheating bitch.

EXCELLENT story!!!!

Still laughing.

3 rock solid stories now. Dude you are quickly becoming a favorite of mine. Keep it up!

You are my favorite current BTB writer. We had some good ones but you are still posting. Keep on going, you have original plot devices worth reading. Some less realistic but still entertaining.

A fun short story. Please keep writing.

Loved it. 5*

Thanks.

This was way over the top and cruel. 15 minutes would have been enough.

Good

Keep them coming

You come up with some really far.out revenge plots. This was a good.one. Snakes are one thing that give.me the shakes too.

If you yank on a tigers' tail ya better have a plan for the teeth and claws. A different plot twist for revenge, this one was fun to read. Signed: BTW.

So much fun reading these little gems. A very clever little story that I can only describe as a 'playful' BTB story. Not for the wife of course. A nod and a tip of the hat to moreandmore. *****

Laughing so hard i pee'd my pants!

The story was great! Very creative and an original idea.

The smug comments from anon about the husband doing jail time were hilarious.

Yeah, as if the police would send a forensics team to investigate the ravings of a mad woman! Besides, she was sedated and in a straight jacket... by the time she managed to convince the doctors that she hadn't had a psychotic break, the husband would have had plenty of time to gut the bathroom and install a new one. She trashed the place remember?

moreandmore

Thank you for having the motivation to come up with one of the most original plot lines I have read for a mighty long time. I gotta tell you truthfully that snakes are really not my favourite critters. But by the end of your tale I was actually cheering for them and the hubby. As for BTB....fuck yeah!!!!

Respect. Put in your thumb and pulled out a plum moreandmore. Very difficult to create an original story line. 5 stars.

Very good. Really didn't so any harm to her but worked on her fears.. Not done though,needs a follow up

Trouser snakes.

I suspect she'll be wary for quite some time.

Very original and a lot of fun. However, not anacondas. You probably mean boas. Anacondas really are very nasty beasts that attack and bite humans with little or no provocation. Boas are relatively hand tame.

A pity there is no way to give less than one star. This is just plain evil. I actually like most of your stories, but this goes too far. I know , having a phobia like this is silly, but that doesn't make it less real for the person involved. You can actually drive somebody to real madness this way.

Really? Killing cheating wives is okay with you, but not two days with snakes? Sending them to Mexican whore houses is a-ok with you? This is so tame compared to those permanent solutions. I wish there was a way to give more that five stars because this one deserves it!

* * * * * * * * * *

His are downright deplorable and dangerous. One examination of the door from the police would also have him in jail for false imprisonment and terrorism. Not to mention assault with the intention to cause bodily harm at best for the poisonous snake in the asshats car. I doubt his friend would take the blame for his snakes causing the harm. Creative? Possibly but unrealistic he'd not be caught and arrested. He deserves his own comeuppance.

Yet I found it oddly funny. Guess that makes me like the author?

Who gives a rat's ass what the snake was? It was a snake, it's fiction, the snake could have been a cottonheadedcoppermouthrattlemamba and it wouldn't keep it from being a a good story. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

tHIS WAS great... DeKre you have no SENSE OF HUMOR! I THINK IT WAS very kind of hubby to use non-venomous snakes. I wonder if I could have been so generous and charitable in the same position! Great story well told 5***** The anonymous commenters MISSED THE POINT!

Omg you stories have some whit and subtle humor in them, very well done on this one. More please.

Love the BTB scorched Earth humor!!!

Another chuckle resulted from the Anony comment 11/07/19 - trouser snake. Too much.

That was fun! Great job!

Couldn't resist

Funny story

I love the story, but I ain't playing no snakes. I hate damn snakes.

I bet when he was finished with her she didn't have a pit to hiss in.

now he spends the rest of his life looking over his shoulder for the now crazy dora

A little too BTB for me. This was above and beyond revenge and just plain mean to the extreme. I sympathize with Dora, this was more retribution than she deserved.

this is how BTB should be.

what a great flash story. it's hilarious to see the cucks come out and defend Dora though.

Just read this again loved it. Thanks.

Like to see jj69's views if HE ever went thru a cheating spouse! Nice little story but I will admit, snakes kind of make MY skin crawl

Forgot how mean it was. 5 *

I believe M&M is the only author on Lit who makes me laugh out loud. Thanks for another hilarious story. Tanglosax