Fever Dream Pt. 02: T.B.D.E.

"Helloooo!?...Where are my birthday babies?!" she called, excited to see them, and hear about their party.

"Fuck..." Stella whispered, starting to cry again from frustration. "No...don't stop, baby...please. Shut the door and lock it, it's fine...please...take me, don't stop!"

Jack however, knew that would never work.

"Shh, its ok. Stella...stop crying, Now!" he demanded, taking a hold of her shoulders, causing her to immediately stop, feeling again this new paradigm they had emotionally moved into. He needed her to be calm, and she wanted to do what he wanted her to do. She wanted to please him.

"Look, stay here and take some time...lie down, or take a shower, or listen to something calming...ill cover for you." He said, trying to slow everything down, even himself. He might have adapted quicker to his parents coming home, but he was just as frustrated as she was. His skin was burning, his breathing hadn't slowed very much and He was so close to making love to her, he could practically taste her body on his tongue. He thought, at that moment, that perhaps if he told her this, it might help get her on board quicker. They were in this together, after all.

"Trust me, Stel, I want to throw you on that bed and take everything you have to give, right now, but you know we will get caught, and then everything we want will be gone." He said, meaning every word he said. He then grabbed her in his arms, holding her close, and planting a fierce kiss on her, before ending it, and looking into her eyes. "I will make love to you before the sun goes down, Stella! Believe that!" he boldly stated. In those words, that promise, seemed to be all she needed. The tears stopped, a smile came to her face, and she kissed him fiercely back.

"I love you, Jackson," was all she said, and let him go. "Go downstairs and entertain them, I'll be down in a few...and don't let them turn off the hot tub...just trust me." She added, to his puzzled look.

"Coming, Mom!" he called back to them, bending down to get his shirt, putting it on and heading downstairs.

CH. 11

Jack trotted down the stairs, trying his best to put what he was leaving upstairs out of his mind. Stella was already the main topic his mind thought of, apart from school, music, art and various other topics he was interested in. But after having to tear himself away from her, she was the only thing he could consider. He looked into his parents smiling faces, answered their questions about the party, and listened to them describe the movie they'd gone to see, but all the while Stella silently called to him. He was about to do it. He had actually let go. Of his fear, of his caution, of their adolescent rules, of his senses...he just let go...and it was like tasting of true freedom after living a lifetime in an emotional prison. He'd been a good boy all this time. He had kept their teenage hormones in check, never letting things get past a kiss, or a hug, or holding each other's hands. He had made the contingencies, had laid the rules out, had born Stella's tantrums when he'd pull away. What she had never stopped to consider, in his mind, was the fact that each time he had had to refuse her, he was refusing himself. Each time he had to remind her of the rules, of the stakes, of their age, he had had to remind himself first. Each time a kiss started to turn into something more, before made a move to release her and pull them apart, he had to have an inner battle within himself. Did she think, for these past 2 years, that he felt any less desperate for her, as she was for him? When she made sure, every single day, to look perfect; her makeup, hair, and clothes. The way she walked, the sway she put in her hips, the way she talked, the way she looked at him sometimes, eyes penetrating him, her mouth slightly open in the most accidental of seductive smiles on her lips...he knew it was all for him, but did she think he just didn't notice it all?

Hell, it's a fucking miracle every single day that someone hasn't noticed us basically eye-fucking each other, he mused to himself.

"Sweetheart, what happened to your collar?" Martha asked him, looking at the rip Stella had made in his shirt collar moments before. Paul had looked to, his brow furrowing. "It wasn't like that before...you pissed Stella off, huh?" he said, a smile and chuckle coming from him.

"Oh...yeah...well she was freakin' dragging me upstairs by my arm and it pissed me off, so I tried to yank myself away and my shirt ripped." He said, rambling.

"Well tell her to fuck off then man...I knew you guys are each other's 'soul siblings' or whatever, but you gotta stand up to her man. Just because she has your back, doesn't mean you gotta let her boss you around all the time. Be a man, bro!" Paul preached. Normally Jack wouldn't have even paid attention or given it a second thought, but something in him had changed upstairs, and it seemed that it encompassed more than just his sexual interactions.

"First off, I am a fuckin man, so fuck you! Second off, Stella doesn't 'boss me around'. I let her do those things because I fucking love her, ok? If it makes her happy to take charge, or whatever, than fine, because I love her and I want her to do what she wants to do. You have no fucking idea what your talkin' about!" he practically shouted, tears starting to stream from his face, and his anger boiling.

"Jack, calm down sweetie! Its ok...he didn't mean anything bad by it." Martha said, palms out to try to calm him.

"No, Mom! I'm tired of this. I'm tired of this...way...people see me. I'm a MAN!" he shouted, his anger now completely having taken over his thoughts and feelings. It might have been his sexual energy trying to find another outlet. It might have been resentment for the way he'd been seen and treated until today. It could have been these, and a hundred other factors leading up to this day. In the end, it didn't matter. Today, it seemed, was fated to be a day of reckoning, a day of change.

"I'm a fucking man, and I say what my life is going to be. I can stand up for myself, just fine! I'm...I'm a lot...stronger than you think, Paul." He said, tears now replace by clenched fists and gritted teeth. His shoulders and jaw were set, and he was rounding the island towards Paul now.

"Jack, you don't wanna do that man. Look, I'm sorry, OK I shouldn't have said it that way. I only mean-"

"I know what you meant...it's what everyone always means...but you all won't say...well no one is gonna say it anymore..." he exclaimed, getting progressively louder as he inched towards a retreating Paul.

"Jack, honey what is going on with you right now...just calm down sweetie, plea-"

"What the FUCK is going on?" Stella yelled, her presence now known to all as they whipped their heads back at her...everyone except Jack, who never wavered his gaze from Paul. She had crept quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen when she heard the faint sound of Jack raising his voice. He was yelling and sounded distressed, and he clearly needed her. She took a look at Jack, and saw him in the most aggressive stance she'd seen him have. He seemed to be moving in on Paul, for some reason. The reason didn't interest her. If Jack was acting this way towards someone, it was for a good reason. There was no other explanation. Realizing this, she squared herself as well, eyes locked on her prey and she too, from the opposite side of the kitchen island, rounded towards Paul, isolating him with no exit, back to the kitchen sink and a sold wall. The only way out was through either, or both, of them.

"Stella, I swear...all I said was that he shouldn't let you boss him around so much. That's all. I was sticking up for him for Christ's sake...and he just started yelling about how he lets you run things because he 'loves' you and wants you to be happy and whatever...and how he is a man and stuff. I didn't say he wasn't a fucking man...I swear!" he said, trying to appeal to her reason, assuming she had any at the moment. Normally should wouldn't even listen, but hearing Jack sticking up for her for a change had, in and of itself, changed things. She stopped her approach, and looked over at Jack, who was silent and standing defiant, still refusing to budge from Paul. Jack didn't need a defender...he needed a consoler. Upon this realization, she backed up quickly, and made her way over to Jack, coming up behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest, under his arms, and squeezing him tight.

"It's fine now, Jack...calm down...remember? Cool control." She said soothingly, rubbing his chest. She then leaned in to his ear, whispered softly so only he could hear.

"Calm down, baby...he doesn't understand...c'mon Jack, come back to me. Take a deep breath for me...please..."

Her soft whisper proved all he needed to lift the red haze from his eyes. His breath came easier and he started seeing things clearer.

"I'm...I'm sorry Paul. I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me today. Things...I feel so different today." He said, trying to get a grip of his feelings. Once he saw things were calming down, Paul made his way to his brother.

"Hey man, come here..." he said, shooing Stella off him and wrapping his arms around his kid brother. "I didn't mean anything hurtful man, ok? I love ya and I know you're a man now...a better man than me." He said, hugging him tight. Jack hugged him back, feeling guilty for his behavior.

"I swear, you three," Martha said, sounding exhausted from the whole ordeal. "You need to all by out your teenage years, and soon...or else I don't think I'll survive it." she said, making her way over to Stella. She kissed her on the forehead.

"Did you have a good birthday, sweetheart?" she asked her, realizing this was the first she'd seen her since her and George had gotten home. She looked different somehow to Martha. She was growing up so fast, and she didn't like it, one bit.

Where has my little black-haired monster gone? She asked herself, wishing for her little babies back. She loved watching them grow up, but a mother will always look back on the days her children were tiny, bright-eyed, and filled with questions. They both had been such a wonder to watch grow up for her and she always counted herself as blessed to have had such a unique experience in raising the twins. Even though they were fraternal twins, they looked unbelievably alike, save for their genders and differing heights, and they're personalities were miles away from each other...but it was really their hearts that were identical.

"It was good, Mom. We had fun...but I'm kinda glad it's over." She said, giving her a smile, then turning her attention to Jack.

"Well, I'm off to join your father in bed. Paul, is everything cleaned up?" she asked.

"Almost, I just gotta go turn off the lighting outside and take care of the pool and hot-tub equipment for the night." He answered, moving toward the sliding-glass door.

"Wait...Jack and I are gonna go out and swim for a while...it's so beautiful outside and the moon is so big...isn't it Jack?" she asked, turning to him, smiling.

"Yeah it is...ill go get my swim trunks real quick." He said, making to leave.

"Now wait a second...It's after dark and everyone is tired. Plus, you know that you both need an adu-"

"Mom...We are adults now!" Stella said, standing up defiantly "I know...we're your babies, but we are actually babies anymore."

Martha initially was in gear to scold them and send them straight to bed...but the truth was that her daughter was right. They were good, mature kids. They always had been. Other than fights with Stella defending her brother and Jackson constantly leaving things undone and forgetting things, they had both been as close to model kids as she could have hoped for.

"Ok. That's fine...but it's on the both of you to finish cleaning up after your party. No trash, no food left out, and when you're done, make sure to turn off the pool equipment and all of the lighting outside...and set the alarm!" she finished, finger-wagging at them, then heading up to bed.

"Well, I'm outta here. Caroline is waiting for me to pick her up. Thanks for taking care of the rest guys." He said, ,snatching up his keys and starting for the front of the house.

"Paul," Stella called to him, causing him to whip around at the two of them. Stella looked at Jack, who smiled at her, knowing what she was thinking, and the two of them looked at Paul. "Good luck." She said, smile brimming.

"She sounds special man. You got this!" Jack added, grinning from ear to ear. Paul flashed a smile back at them, and feeling more confident than ever before, jogged towards the front door, out it and into the night. Jack started to make his way to his room to change, when he felt Stella grab his wrist, causing him to turn.

"I just need to run up and get my board shorts, Stel." He said, wondering why she stopped him. Her eyes were smoldering and she merely fasten her grip around his wrist tighter.

"Jack...you don't need them...not tonight." She said, her voice think with desire and promise. A promise that jack instantly caught on to. He wanted to smile, but this didn't feel like something to get giddy about. She gave no smile either.

Earlier, upstairs, the moment had taken a hold of them, and their passions were at a fever pitch. They'd let their desire and instincts take over, fully succumbing to their bodies...but this wasn't the same situation. The choices had been made. The paradigm of their relationship had twisted. Both were of solid mind and it was time for the gravity of those choices to be shown. Jack merely looked into Stella's eyes, gauging her. Desperation was gone, replaced by determination. Playfulness had gone too, making way for an unabashed look of want.

"Come on, Jack...follow me." Stella whispered, taking his hand gently in his, and lead him through the sliding glass door. She was dressed in only her blue bikini, a sheer shawl wrapped around her hips, flowing elegantly behind her as she led him along the length of the back of the house, towards the lighting controls for the yard. Once they reached them, she let go of his hand, and went to work, turning off all of the perimeter lighting in the back yard, and the pool, and the hot tub, save for the small, in ground lights lighting the cement paths from the back porch to the pool area, splitting to two paths to both the pool and the hot tub respectively.

Once finished, she closed the clear plastic lid to the controls, and gently clasped Jacks hand, slowly padding off towards the pool, with him following behind. Even in this moment of freedom, they were a secret, only this time it was one of their own making. Like spies, they crept, under the cover of darkness, with only the moon shining its light upon them. Once they reached the split between the tub and pool, Stella's steps turned uncertain. She had only planned up to this point, expecting her steadfast need and instinct to lead her the rest of the way. Now that she was here, however, she wasn't sure of anything. Jack felt the hesitation and something in him kicked into gear. He padded past her, still holding her hand, turning to face her as she looked to him. His brave Stella, always so sure of where to go, what to say, and what to do looked to him, eyes full of a need for guidance, for surety. Now that she had gotten them here, she needed him to lead them the rest of the way.

"Uhh...which...which one ...should we..." she stammered, not knowing what to do. She wanted him, so very badly, but she didn't have raw passion and instinct to guide her anymore. She wouldn't need it, however. Jack just gave her a smile and led her to hot tub. The pool sounded nice, but something in him felt like the heat might 'help' things along. She smiled timidly at him and followed his lead to the edge of the tub. He turned to face her and let go of her hand.

The bold, certain girl he'd spent his life beside until this moment, was gone now. In her place was a nervous, beautiful young woman. She stood before him, her loose hair, and shawl, moving in the light breeze of the new summer. The moon shone down on them, bathing her in the shimmering light of the night. Their night. Although tonight was warm enough, he felt her hands shivering in his. Although it didn't happen such every time during the past 2 years, whenever they found themselves truly alone, even for a moment, it was almost always Stella making the move, reaching for him, holding him to her, bringing her lips to his. It wasn't that she wanted to kiss him more than he wanted to kiss her, she was just usually so much more self-assured, more confident. That Stella seemed to be gone now too. The new young woman merely stood, searching him for guidance, trembling in his hands, waiting for him to show her how to begin showing their love for each other.

Wanting to end her internal questions, he reached slowly for her left hip, where she'd tied her shawl around herself. She stepped closer to him, closing the gap between them, to make it easier for him. He held her gaze, giving her the sure, calm, serene look he knew she needed as he untied it, letting it fall to the ground. Next he reached down and pulled his shirt over his head and off of him, tossing it to the ground as well. Stella merely watched him, looking up and down his chest, enjoying just looking at him. Jack wasted no time however, clasping her hands and pulling them behind his neck, letting her interlock them, while he slowly slid his hands down her arms, behind her back and to the tie which helped hold her bikini top on. Not letting their eyes leave each other's, she stayed within the safety of his calm, loving gaze. He made short work of the tie and slid his hands over her body to behind her neck to the second tie, slowly undoing it, letting it fall to the floor.

She had never been this naked, this exposed in front of him before. The rules forbade it. But as she felt the warm cooling breeze hit her breasts, a shudder went through her body. All the while, she held safely unto his eyes. He didn't even look down at them as he slide his hands to them, running over them until he cupped them firmly. He squeezed gently and her breath caught in her chest, eyes flickering closed for just a moment. This made him smile mischievously at her, which caused her to do the same. Both felt the relief of a momentary smile, but Jack wasn't content to stop here. His smile faded as he took a moment to look over her body, his hands gently running over breasts, kneading them, caressing them, and each new place he went, she made a sharp, involuntary intake of air, if for nothing else, to let him know the pleasure it brought her. She was open and on display for him, and she found it to be the most exhilarating feeling she'd ever known.

After a few moments of both caressing her chest and drinking her in with his eyes, he stopped suddenly. She looked at him in question, and he again held her gaze as his hands started lower, towards her hips. As he did so, he began to slowly kneel. Her eyes widened as he reached eye level with her bottoms and his hands reached the ties at her hips. Her breathing started to quicken, and he saw panic set into her eyes. They had already waded into new territory, but this was a big step...and suddenly she was filled with self-consciousness.

"Are you ok?" he whispered up at her.