For the Love of My Brother

Finally Chad stopped and I looked around. My heart rate doubled, my cheeks flushed. I felt like my heart was bouncing in my throat. Our meadow. He had taken us to our meadow. I grinned and dropped my backpack onto the grass.

Chad didn't say anything, just stood in the entrance to the clearing. I walked past him, looking around. I can't believe he remembered. After all this time.

The water in the stream was clear blue. The white flowers grew in small patches beside it. They were innocence, purity. The stream reminded me of childhood, it felt carefree and playful. This was the perfect spot to make love. It was the last place I remember knowing that Chad loved me.

Chad moved behind me and his fingers clasped the edge of my shirt. He pulled it off me without saying a word. I turned to him, and was surprised to find that he had already stripped down to his boxers.

I rested my hands on his chest, and his fingers moved to my shorts. He unbuttoned them quickly and pushed them down. I wiggled my hips a little and they fell to the grassy floor.

"Chad," I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck, the cool metal of his cross gave me goose bumps. I leaned up and kissed him, but he broke away quickly, so I kissed down his neck. Maybe he was nervous.

His hands moved to my ass and he gripped it, squeezing my cheeks in his strong hands. I squeaked in surprise, but didn't pull away. He grabbed the waistband of my underwear and pulled. This time I pulled away.

"Slow down, Chad. We have all day." I said, looking up into his brown eyes. He ignored me and pushed my underwear down. I didn't protest again and let him take them off of me.

Chad growled quietly, taking my ass in his hands again. Everything was happening quickly. My head was spinning. I just wished he would slow down a little. Before I even knew what was happening, Chad had his hand firmly on my shoulder and he pushed down. I fell to my knees in front of him and he pushed his boxers down.

"Suck." He ordered, looking down at me. I blushed and licked my lips anxiously. I took his cock in my hand and stroked him slowly a few times before taking it between my lips. I didn't want to go fast, so I took my time, working his member between my lips, getting comfortable until I could fit most of his length in my mouth.

Chad groaned above me and for a moment I thought it was out of pleasure, but then he curled his fingers in my hair and forced me down on his length. His hips moved quickly, and he fucked my mouth without reserve like the first time I'd given him a blow job.

This wasn't like how I pictured it at all. I was choking and gagging and spit was running down my chin. Chad wasn't being gentle at all. He seemed like a completely different person than he was last night.

He finally let go of my head and I panted. There were tears in my eyes, a few stray ones ran down my cheek.

"Chad, please, let's slow down." I begged quietly.

"Lay on your back." He said.

"Not yet, I want-I want"

"What? What do you want?" He growled, looking contemptuously down at me.

I stuttered, looking around the clearing desperately. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen at all.

"I-I, kiss me." I said. Chad rolled his eyes and sunk down on the grass in front of me. His fingers tangled in my hair once more and he pulled me towards him, pressing his lips roughly to mine.

As we kissed he climbed on top of me, pushing me onto the grass. I was lying underneath him, and he pulled my legs up so I wrapped them around his back. I could feel Chad's erection against my thigh, and mine pressed against his stomach. He was being rough and I wasn't expecting that.

"Chad, slow down baby." I breathed against his lips. He stopped and I was shocked when he backhanded me across the face. I looked up at him, and I could feel my eyes filling. What was that for?

"Don't ever call me that. Ever." He said looking down angrily at me. I swallowed thickly. Chad stared at me for a few seconds before shoving his fingers deep inside my mouth suddenly. I choked on them, but he swiftly removed them.

"Chad, I don't understand what's going-" I broke away to cry out. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It took me a few seconds to realize that the sudden pain had come from my ass. Chad's finger was buried, what felt like, all the way inside me. It had happened so suddenly.

"Ah, fuck!" I groaned, my body instinctively pulling away from him.

I panted, and looked up searchingly into his eyes. Why was he acting this way?

"Chad, Chad it hurts." I whined quietly.

"It'll only hurt for a little while." He said carelessly. I could feel him moving his finger inside me, but I was still in a state of shock. I knew what he was doing but I felt like I wasn't registering it.

Chad pushed another finger inside of me and my asshole clenched around it. Again, I cried out. I didn't think it was supposed to hurt this much. I knew that I was crying, and I knew that Chad was ignoring me. In fact, he wasn't even looking at me. He was looking past me, at the woods.

"Chad, please, please stop." I said softly.

Chad pulled his fingers from my ass and I breathed a sigh of relief. But it was short-lived as he sat up on his knees and placed both of his hands firmly on my legs. He pushed them up, so my knees were against my chest, and they were spread. There was a part of my mind that was telling me I should run or scream or fight. But it was happening so fast. And I didn't want to disappoint him. I wanted him to tell me he loved me.

But as he moved the head of his cock to my ass, the part of me that wanted his love swiftly left. All that remained was fear.

"Chad please, I don't think I'm stretched enough. Please, please, wait. Slow down." I begged.

Chad spat on his cock and rubbed his saliva down the length. He pushed only a small fraction of the tip inside me and I screamed.

"Chad! No, no please! You're too big. Please, let's wait a little longer, wait until we get home, please." I was sobbing, actually sobbing.

"Shut up!" He hissed, "Someone's going to hear you."

He pushed into me. I shrieked. I felt like I was splitting in two. I was winded, tears streamed down my cheeks and I was sobbing. Chad's hand wrapped around my throat and he told me to shut up again. He grunted, fucking my small ass roughly. I clawed at his arm, trying to get his hand away from my throat.

He wasn't being gentle. He wasn't waiting for my ass to adjust to him. I felt like I was breaking, or dying or both. I felt like the pain would never end, as he continued his assault on my virgin ass.

"Fuck!" Chad groaned pulling out of my ass.

"You're so fucking annoying. Worthless faggot." He said. I thought he was done, I thought that he'd given up. But he grabbed my hips and roughly flipped me so I was on my stomach. He pulled my hips up, but my face was still buried in the dirt.

I tried to scramble away from him, but he was too strong and the hold he had on my hips was unbreakable.

He pushed his cock into me again and I yelped. I could feel my hole being forced open, all for his disturbing pleasure. My fingers clawed into the perfect green grass as I tried to steady myself, tried to drag myself away. Chad was too strong and too intent on abusing me.

"This is what fags do, Dylan!" He said, giving my ass a hard slap.

"I don't like it!" I sobbed.

"Shut up," He said, pushing my head into the grass. I knew at the very least my nose would be bruised from it, if not broken. I could taste blood in my mouth, but I didn't know where it was from. I could taste dirt. I knew I was choking on my own spit. I felt like I couldn't breathe, my heart was in my throat. My ass was being torn open again and again by my brother's large cock.

"I'm going to make you like it. You're going to fucking worship me for this. You'll have hundreds of guys fucking you like this, you pathetic slut. But they're never going to fuck you as good as your big brother." Chad growled. He was slamming into my ass, forcing his meaty cock into my tight channel. His balls were slapping against my ass as he continued his savage assault.

"Please stop Chad!" I cried. I didn't know how much more I could take. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears. My nose was clogged with dirt and blood, and breathing felt impossible.

"Tell me you love it. Tell me you love it when your big brother rapes you." He said. I sobbed harder into the grass.

"Say it!" He said, running his nails down my back. I could feel the searing pain shoot down my skin as the flesh was pulled away.

"I love it when my big brother rapes me." I lied, crying into the dirt. I would say anything, anything to make it stop, to make him stop.

"Fuck yes you do." He said. His thrusts became even more irregular, even more reckless. Finally, my older brother let out a loud groan of pleasure. I felt warmth fill my ass as he came deep inside me.

"Yes, yes, yes." He groaned, pumping deliberately into me.

Finally, finally, he pulled out of me. My hips sunk down onto the grass and I sobbed without reserve. Chad got up from behind me and I heard him get dressed, but I didn't dare look at him.

"Can you find your way back on your own?" He asked softly. His tone was surprisingly gentle. I nodded but still didn't look up at him as the tears streamed down my face.

I waited a few minutes, until I heard the sound of his footsteps retreat before I risked looking up. He was gone, so was his bag. He left mine though.

I lay on the grass for a while, I didn't know how long. But I was still crying. The pain in my ass was unbearable, and I reached down and gently rubbed my hole. I felt liquid and pulled my hand away quickly to look at it.

Blood. Just a little bit. I looked down at the grass around me. As I shifted I could see that some of the blood had dripped onto the pure white flowers. And for some reason it made me sob harder.

As I cried, I dug my nails deep into the grass, where the white flowers grew. And I tore them up. I savagely pulled the white flowers up from the grass, destroying their roots and throwing them all over the place. I wanted to destroy every last flower. I wanted to ruin this place. And I was sobbing, but I was crying out in anger too.

When I was done as much damage as I could, I collapsed back onto the grass on my back. There was dirt on my face. Blood was trickling from my nose, and down my back, and from my ass. I should get rid of it.

I reached for my pack and searched it for the first aid kit. I always carried one. My hand grasped something else first.

My sketchbook.

I pulled it out slowly, and looked at it. I flipped open the cover and looked at the dead white flower. I didn't touch it. I turned to the next page, and the next, looking at every single picture. There were so many of my brother. I growled, and threw the book into the stream.

It was ruined. It was all ruined.

It was carried away after a few moments, after the pages had gotten soggy and illegible.

I stayed where I was. I don't know how long I was there for.

Eventually I stopped crying. The blood stopped flowing. The sun began to set.

I pulled my clothes on slowly, trying to find the ways that hurt the least to move. I grabbed my bag and walked slowly towards the edge of the clearing. I looked back at it, one final time.

There was a large patch beside the stream, where the grass had been pulled up. There was dirt and blood and no white flowers. The stream was brown from dirt. I wished I could set fire to it all.

It took me a long time to get out of the forest and get back to the cabin. Everyone was waiting by the van. Everything was packed away.

I looked like hell, I was sure.

I didn't tell my father what happened and he didn't ask.