Friends like These

"You have to do what she says." Lisa declared.

"But ..."

Lisa squeezed his hands. "You know you have to do what she says. You can't lose your job. If you do, who's going to pay for your mother's cancer treatments? Remember what Dr. Wallace said. Just a little longer. She's going to make it. She's responding to the treatment. Just a little longer."

"But I love you." he objected in character.

"I'll be here for you. I know you don't have a choice. I'll wait for you. I promise. Trust me. You have to trust me. I love you. I love you more than anything. I won't leave you, no matter what she does. I'll never leave you."

Lisa moved in and hugged him and they held each other for at least a solid, uninterrupted minute. Then, to put the icing on the cake, when she started to come out of the hug, she planted a tender yet passionate kiss on his lips and wiped away a second tear as she held his face by each cheek.

When the kiss ended Charles was sitting there flabbergasted since it was not something that they had talked about earlier.

"Just do what she says." Lisa said. "Your mother needs you."

Charles nodded with reluctant acceptance and then they both turned to Miss Evans. It was clear that the woman's emotions were gushing up to the surface. She suddenly thought to hide her face and then she ran out of the coffee shop without even saying anything.

Don't laugh. Don't cheer. Stay in character. She might come back. Charles and Lisa cautiously looked at each other. After a few minutes of not saying anything both got up, took their coffee with them and then held hands as they exited the coffee shop.

His boss was nowhere to be seen. They kept holding hands however in case she was spying on them from some hidden location. They went the long way around the park again, still holding hands and still pretending to be engaged just in case.

Once they had each finished their coffee, they found a garbage can, not easy in this city, and then they continued back to the apartment building.

As they were waiting for the elevator she asked, "Do you think it worked?"

"I'll see tomorrow. Or next week."

"Did you see her face?"

"I did."

"I wish I had a picture of it."

"It's funny but I almost wish it were real." he said as they got into the elevator.

"If what were real?"

"I mean, not the sick mother part but you."

"Me? I am real."

"What I mean is, a nawalt. A true nawalt. If only." He had his cousin in his mind just then and as he said that he finally, after all this time of resisting the comparison, he was putting Regina up against the checklist of the qualities of a nawalt and finding that she fit everything. Oh, he shouldn't be doing that. And not after he'd just kissed his sister. He looked at his sister and he was feeling something. He thought about Regina and he was feeling something.

"What the hell is a nawalt?"

"It's hard to explain. It's sort of an ideal of the perfect woman."

"Me, the perfect woman? Thanks."

No, not you, he thought. Regina. Oh, nevermind. "Thank you for doing this to help me."

"We still need to see if it helped or not."

Lisa watched her brother as they got out of the elevator together and went down the hall together. She watched him as he opened his door. He seemed sad but there was something strange in the way he looked at her.

Lisa tried not to think too much about everything. She just relaxed and looked at a fashion magazine. She turned the pages as she wondered again what her brother had meant by the perfect woman. Then she stopped and noticed that she'd just been turning pages without even looking at what was there or the stupid captions that her brother had put in there. Oddly, she wasn't upset about that just then. All she had were just very positive feelings about Charles. That was so different from how she normally saw him.

...

Charles had planned to just watch tv but as soon as he turned it on the show that was running was about women in bikinis running with their tits bouncing up and down. He turned it off. It figured.

"You can watch. You know I don't mind." his cousin said to him when she saw his reaction to the show.

He looked over at her and where he would normally only see his cousin, just Regina as a person, suddenly he looked at her and saw cleavage and curves. "Nah. It looks boring."

She came and sat next to him on the sofa. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Don't ask about where he'd been, he prayed. Don't ask about what he'd just been doing. Please.

"And I don't mean this to offend you. Not at all. Ok?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about there."

"It's just that I've noticed some things and this isn't me saying I have a problem with it. I just noticed. That's all. There's nothing wrong with it if you are this way ... or aren't this way if you're not."

"I'm not following you. Can you just ask?"

"And when I was in college I had lots of friends this way. Almost all my friends actually. So it won't bother me one way or the other. In fact, I'd be super comfortable with it. We could sit and talk about it and ..."

"Get to the point."

"Are you gay?"

"What? No."

"No?"

"NO!" Charles repeated and was starting to get angry not only at the idea that someone would think he was gay but also that Regina seemed disappointed that he was straight. How could she even ask him that? Didn't she know him at all? Had he fallen into the twilight zone today?

"But I never see you bring home a girl."

"Just because I'm not gay does not mean I have to act like every other guy out there. I don't want to sleep with women who have all been around the carousel seven and eight times. I like to think I have a bit more self respect than that and if I could just meet a woman who lived by a fraction of the same standard then maybe I would be interested. But as it is ..."

"Ok. I get it. I'm just surprised. You're always so well dressed."

"So? What's wrong with looking good? Thanks to not having a girlfriend I actually have money to buy nice clothes, thank you very much. And you're the one who picked this out for me."

"I'm not judging. In fact, if you were gay or not, I would not judge. That's the whole point of what I want to say really. And if you ever want to tell me anything, I'll understand."

"Well, I'm telling you that I'm not gay."

"Ok. Not gay. Got it."

Well, that threw him out of his funk. He had to go be by himself in his bedroom for a bit to shake off the gay cooties.

Later that evening, when Mona was getting home she buzzed up asking Charles to come down and help her bring up a box full of groceries. This was a common thing that happened so Charles wasn't thinking anything was special about it. But then when he saw Mona his head started to go to this very weird place.

When he saw her he felt the feeling of falling in love. But that didn't make sense. Yet there it was. He remembered her holding him. He remembered her sleeping in bed with him. But more than that, he remembered the tearful kiss in front of his boss. But that didn't make any sense. That had been Lisa, not Mona. He could tell them apart. He'd never confused them before. Even now he wasn't consciously confusing them. And how was Regina mixed into all this? It was like all three of them were morphing into one girl in his head.

"You ok?" she asked as the elevator opened.

"Fine."

"You're looking at me weird."

"I had a hard day at work."

"You want to talk about it."

Talk? About kissing his sister? About having weird feelings for his cousin all of the sudden? About not being able to take his eyes off of Mona's breasts? NO. "Not really."

"Aw. Well maybe you just need a good soup. I learned a new recipe I want to try."

"Sign me up."

When they entered the twins' apartment Charles immediately took note of Lisa. She seemed to take note of him as well as the entire time he was helping to put away the items of the box, he noticed her staring at him from across the room.

When he was finished he was going to go back across to his apartment but Lisa called out to him. "Charlie!"

"Yeah?"

"Um ... do you need ... um ... Can you help me with ..." She looked around the room and then she held up the newspaper. "Can you help me with this puzzle?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. It's super hard. ... I mean difficult."

Mona was standing there looking puzzled at the behavior of her siblings and looked even more puzzled when she thought she saw Lisa blush.

Charles went over and took the paper. "It doesn't look that tough."

"Oh, you calling me stupid?"

"No. I'm just saying it doesn't look that tough."

"Then you do it."

"Give me a pencil."

She went to the desk, got a pen and then handed it to him. When he reached for it, their fingers touched briefly and they both looked at each other in that moment.

"What's going on?" Mona asked.

"She's being silly." Charles said as he did an about face and started working on the puzzle.

"No, I'm not. I just want to know how to do the ..."

"Here. First one's done. You can figure it out from there."

"Thank you. That was all I was asking."

He looked away from her and then extended his hand with the paper and the pen back to her. She snatched it away and then he marched out without a word.

"Have you two been fighting again?" Mona asked.

Lisa was going to try to say something but without warning real tears started to come to her eyes and all she could do was run to her bedroom and slam the door.

Charles went back to his apartment just as Regina was getting out of the shower.

"Bathroom's yours if you want it." she said.

He didn't verbally respond right away so she came closer to him while he was looking in the fridge and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Bathroom's yours." she repeated.

He turned and looked at her in only her towel and swallowed. "Thanks."

"You ok?"

"Why is everyone asking me that?"

She shrugged. "I was just asking."

Later, as all four of them were having a late dinner in the twins' apartment Regina and Mona both noticed the other two avoiding eye contact. No one said anything but it was noticed.

...

Charles was early for work and he paid close attention to see if he had any messages. So far nothing. Miss Evans wasn't in her office yet either. He started to do his work and just kept his head down as everyone else came into the office. This could easily be his last day here if he wasn't careful.

When Miss Evans did arrive, she was only there briefly and then she went right back out of the office. The time ticked away and Charles put more and more tasks into his completed column. It was quiet and no one bothered Charles except for when a few of the women in the office asked him to bring them coffee during lunch break. It wasn't a serious request, they were just reminding him of the abuse he'd suffered recently.

At the end of the day he wasn't fired but he was left in limbo as to what was going to happen. To add to that, when he got back to his apartment, Lisa was already home from work and she asked what had happened. Charles could only shrug because he honestly didn't know. He was sitting on his sofa and she came over and put her arm around him. Then Regina opened the door and for no reason that either could express, they felt the need to separate and have no physical contact between the two of them.

They seemed to each have a case of the hundred mile stare when the other was in the room. It wasn't so much that they were looking at each other but rather looking into the distance past each other. That behavior did not go unnoticed but for the moment no one said anything.

Charles could not bring himself to do anything fun all weekend but when Monday came around he sourly regretted it. He had been assigned a mountain of tasks to complete. It was like how they handed out federal spending. The more a department spent, the more they got the next year. The more work Charles did, the more of the work got moved over to him even as all his coworkers were just chatting, drinking coffee, or even playing office basketball with balled up paper and a trashcan.

Charles didn't dare get off task or even stick his head up. He just knuckled down and got the work done.

Then on Tuesday, he had so much work that he had to stay overtime to finish it all. Then on Wednesday overtime changed from an extra thirty minutes to almost two hours. That pattern continued and on Friday he stayed so late at his desk that he actually fell asleep in his chair with his head propped up on the side of his cubicle. When someone woke him up and he realized he'd been sleeping he almost panicked because he thought he'd be fired. But it wasn't Miss Evans. It was someone Charles had never seen before letting him know they were going to lock the doors.

The next weekend was a blur. He just slept and slept and slept and the few times he did leave his room to go across the hall and get something to eat, there was Lisa and the immediate tension seeing her caused him.

"You're going to burn out if you keep this up." Mona told him as Lisa looked at him longingly from behind. "No job is worth this, especially not for what they're paying you." Mona continued.

Charles didn't know which was worse, the gridiron at the office or feeling all strange and weird around Regina and his sisters. Why couldn't he find balance? Why couldn't he find stability? The world had gone shaky on him and he didn't like it. He felt like he was going to lose everything like when his parents had kicked him out.

Before the weekend had even really begun, it was over and Charles was back at the office. He looked at the forms and the data and he just could not think what he was supposed to do. He hadn't been trained for these kinds of calculations. He figured it would be just his luck that they were watching him and waiting for him to have to look something up on the internet to know how to do it. But he had no choice and he sure as hell wasn't going to ask any of the assholes there for help. He couldn't believe he used to think they were his friends. Once they all got wind that Charles was on Miss Evans' shit list, they all treated him like the plague now.

On Wednesday Charles had to finally come to the realization of what they were doing. They were trying to make him quit. That was the only explanation for all the work they were putting on him and no one coming to help him. They were trying to make him quit. They were telling him to start looking for another job and once he found one, to get out. But how could he look for another job when he was stuck in that tiny space doing the paperwork for what seemed like half the fucking company? When was he going to look for a job when he had to stay until they locked the damn doors every night.

On Friday, he decided to take a lunch break, a real lunch break through which he would not be working. Instead, he pulled out his personal laptop and started to draft a resignation letter. He couldn't wait until he found a new job. He was never going to find a new job as long as he worked there. If he couldn't find a job then fine. He'd go to college. Or maybe he could just travel. Regina made more than enough to afford that apartment on her own. She might even thank him for giving her more space. After how he'd been treating her recently he honestly couldn't blame her if she'd be happy to see him go.

"Ah." he muttered to himself. That wasn't fair for him to think that of her. Even while he figured she treated any guy she dated like shit, she'd always been a very considerate and respectful roommate. But Charles knew that would only go so far if he couldn't pay his half of the rent. No, he'd have to find a new job fast or he'd have to go.

And bonus, some distance from Lisa was probably called for. He was very grateful to her for helping him but the last two weeks had been so weird around her. They were to the point where they couldn't even be in the same room anymore without that kiss haunting him. He just couldn't get his mind right about it.

Charles typed away at the letter then edited it and formatted it. But he didn't print it. Part of that was because he didn't have the correct drivers for the printer on his personal computer. But another part was that he wasn't ready. He was too tired. He didn't have the strength for a battle if it turned into one. Monday. He'd quit on Monday.

He saved the letter and got back to work.

It was about thirty minutes before he was supposed to clock out and go home, though he knew he'd be there for many more hours yet, when a memo came to his desk. One of the executives wanted Charles to come up to the fifty seventh floor. This might just be when the shit hit the fan. He had to keep his cool. He hoped they didn't fire him and deprive him of the opportunity to quit. Maybe if he could just get reassigned to a floor job then that would at least give him the opportunity to stay at the company and earn a chance to prove himself again. Wait, what was he thinking? He was confused from too much work.

Charles was directed to Mr. Silverman's office. He was an older man with balding slicked back hair.

"Close the door." the man said after Charles was introduced. The secretary did as her boss asked and Charles was fearful that a very strange repeat of what Miss Evans had done to him was about to reoccur.

"Come, son. Sit down."

There were two chairs again. He took a chance on a chair and after he was seated the other man raised up a blue slip of paper. "You know what this is?"

"No, sir."

"You can cut the sir crap. I'm Hank. Can I call you Charlie?"

"Yes, sir. Ah, I mean, Hank. Actually I prefer Charles."

"Charles. I like it. Your boss is recommending you for a promotion."

"She is?"

"You seem surprised but I knew you had it in you. It only took you a month to get that feminazi to get on your side."

"Well, I don't know. I just did my job."

The man got up from his desk and walked around towards Charles. "Let me show you something." the man said as he got closer and Charles started to hope that the man was not going to pull out his dick. Charles winced but then he was presented with a piece of paper.

"Look." said the man. "What do you see?"

Charles took a second and then responded. "A list of colleges."

"Notice anything interesting about these schools?"

"Well, some of these are supposed to be pretty good schools." Charles said even as he told himself that he'd never dare attend one of them or even step on campus. Each school on the list had a well known horror story that Charles had read about on the forums.

"This is my NO list. If a man or a woman is going to get hired to an executive position, they can't come from one of these schools. Do you know why?"

Charles shrugged. He knew why he'd put those schools on a No List but he also knew to keep that sort of thing to himself with Madame President using every arm of the federal government to push social justice.

The man reached over to his desk and showed Charles a newspaper clipping. Then another. Then another.

"The teachers at these schools teach their students to be racist. They teach them to be sexist. They teach them to be communist. I can't have that here. And every year more and more colleges are being corrupted to the point where it's nearly impossible for me to find honest men I can trust. So when I saw your application, a bright young man who hadn't been corrupted, I took a chance on you. And now I know it paid off. You actually got that man-hater to recommend you for a promotion. Amazing."

"Well I don't know about ..."

"Don't tell me how you did it. I don't want to know. I just want to congratulate you. You did the right thing. She was pushing you around but you stuck to your guns and did your job the way you're supposed to instead of whining and quitting. Yes, that's the kind of man I need up here. A lot of these MBA types seem to have forgotten that the company only exists for one thing."