Goes Without Saying Pt. 02

"No, you know that couldn't happen. I needed all my attention for the job, but she crossed my mind from time to time. I always phoned her at lunchtime."

"So when all your attention is happily on Evan and Bethan? Can't she cross your mind from time to time only?"

He smiled. She was so clever, so perceptive and his smile was again open and unclouded.

"Point taken," he said. "Thank you, Celia. You're good for me."

She smiled back at him, and he thought he noticed her eyes glistening with unshed tears. It touched him. He realised she missed Gwen as well.

It made a huge difference to him, that short conversation. During the remaining days before returning to work, he did remember Gwen, but the thought was somehow lighter - less oppressive. It was only at night as he lay alone in the bed they had shared, and first thing in the morning when he still reached for her and found the bed empty, that he mourned and sometimes shed a tear.

By the end of the second 'holiday' week David felt totally at ease with the new arrangement in his life. In fact he went to work for two mornings in the last 'free' week to familiarise himself with the progress the company had made in his absence and he was further cheered by the evident relief on the faces of his staff that he was returning.

His stand-in from head office brought him up to date and made arrangements to leave on the Friday.

On the first Monday in August, he returned to full work. His PA, Marissa, a young woman fifteen years his junior and destined for rapid promotion, broke all protocol and hugged him and kissed his cheek and said she had missed him. It brought tears to his eyes, and she took his handkerchief from his top pocket and lovingly wiped his eyes as if she were his mother and he a small boy again.

As his first day progressed and he felt his way back into the job, it was Celia and the children that crossed his mind from time to time, and he felt warmth and contentment at the thought all was well at home. His evening return home was greeted with a shout from Evan and a launch into his arms, while Celia looked on with a wide smile, and a "Welcome home!"

It was indeed good to be home!

-

Chapter 10

David's homecoming followed the same pattern for the week he had established on the first day. He would be greeted by his son, pick up Bethan for a cuddle, a play and a tickle. Celia would bring him an aperitif - a beer, G & T, or a dry sherry before they sat down to the evening meal, with Bethan close by him in her bouncy chair.

He had to admit that Celia's cooking had improved immensely, and found himself looking forward to finding out what delight she had in store each evening. There was no sign of any ready meals, or take-aways, though he made up his mind to suggest one once a week to relieve her of the work of preparation.

He caught himself watching her as she worked in the kitchen, taking in her lithe shape, her shining hair, the flash of waist flesh as she reached up for something, the exquisite roundness of her bottom as she bend to a cupboard. Then he would feel guilty and look away.

After the meal, he would play with Evan, then watch Bethan while Celia bathed Evan. She would put Evan to bed and David would then read him a bedtime story as he always had. Meanwhile Celia bathed Bethan and gave her a bottle, before putting her down to sleep, when David would come to kiss the tot and bless her good night.

Downstairs afterwards he would wash up, and Celia would join him after making sure Bethan was settled. They would watch TV for half an hour or so, or read or chat about the day, if they had not already done so at dinner. Celia sat on the sofa, and David in 'his' armchair. He felt comfortable and relaxed in her presence.

Some evenings she would go straight to her room from the kitchen, on others David would disappear to his office to catch up on the months he had been away. She would put her head round the door and wish him good night before retiring early. After all, he thought, she would be up in the night. He would emerge, often after midnight, to find the house locked up and everything ready for the morning.

Each night he faced the emptiness of the bed and felt that pang of sadness, though it did not feel so acute any more. He still whispered, "Good night my love, I miss you!" to his Gwen, hoping that somehow she was somewhere listening.

Each morning, after an undisturbed sleep all night, he would shower, shave and dress, then descend to find Celia ready to serve his breakfast at which she joined him. Sometimes she would have Bethan on her hip, and sometimes Evan would be playing if he had woken early.

He would kiss the children if they were awake and Celia would send him on his way from the front door with a happy smile and "Have a good day!" She had done that on the Monday, and then simply continued the practice. He found he liked it.

It was something Marissa said on Friday. They met as they always had near the end of the day in his office to recap the week's events, and plan the following week.

"How's your housekeeper doing?" she asked. "Protecting you from nighttime feeds?"

It brought him up short, though he did not show it.

"She's very good," he said. "I've had a good week."

Later her comment set him thinking. Celia had never been good at getting up in the morning in all their six years, but that week she had been ready for him every day. She had seen to Bethan and probably Evan each night, leaving him undisturbed. Then a further thought struck him: she had not had an evening off. He wondered if she was going to leave for the weekend, and he felt unhappy: he did not want her to go.

That evening, over dinner, he broached the subject.

"Celia," he said, "You haven't taken any time off this week."

"Not this week, I want you settled in at work full time for a couple of weeks."

"This weekend?"

"No. I don't have to take my time off, you know. Anyway, what's the matter? You want me out of the way?"

"No, no," he hastened to tell her. "I just wanted to be prepared, I love having you here when I'm not at work." He immediately regretted that remark even though it was true, wondering if it gave the wrong message.

She smiled a certain way at that, and he thought it had.

"David," she said softly, "I'll always give you plenty of warning of my days off, OK?"

He had another thought, "You haven't had a night off Beth's night feed either," he said. "You must let me do my share."

She coloured and smiled broadly.

"No," she said. "I didn't need to bother you: Beth gave me a night off, in fact three nights off. She's slept through since Wednesday. She's a poppet!"

A wave of relief flooded him, and he remembered his and Gwen's relief when Evan, much later, started sleeping through the night. There would still be nights when Beth awoke, but they would be fewer.

The weekend passed doing ordinary weekend jobs and entertaining the children. He insisted that Celia slept in on Sunday, while he got up early to the children, and it was early! Bethan was sleeping through the night, but awoke at around six, hungry and needing a change.

The following week followed the pattern of the first, and so did the following weekend. Again Celia had taken no time off and David felt shy of bringing up the matter again, but Celia clearly wasn't. On Sunday evening after the children were abed, she sat nearer to him in the living room.

"Well, David," she said with a cheerful smile, "the four weeks are up. What d'you want to do?"

"Do?" he asked puzzled. "I don't follow?"

"Cast your mind back to when I first arrived. You didn't want me to stay, so I invited you to give me a trial for four weeks, two weeks before you went back to work and two weeks after. Well, the four weeks are up, and you have to decide what to do about me."

He had completely forgotten. He looked at the woman sitting on the sofa to the side of him. She was sitting with a big grin on her face, looking as stunningly beautiful as she ever did. His mind flashed over the weeks she had been there. Her calm presence had become normal for him and she had been a perfect nanny and housekeeper - more than that, she obviously had a great love for the children and they for her. He could not imagine life without her there.

This all passed through his mind in a flash and suddenly there was a fear that she was actually asking to leave. His face must have betrayed him for she spoke again.

"David," she said, almost chiding him. "You're the one giving the trial. If you want me to continue in post, I'll be delighted: I love the job. I love being here and I love Evan and Beth. So do I stay or do I go?"

"Oh Celia," he laughed with relief. "You already know the answer to that. How could I cope without you? The children adore you. You will stay, won't you?"

"All right, then," she said, attempting and failing to sound reluctant. "I'll stick around. Shall we have a drink to celebrate how good I am to you?"

"Definitely," he enthused, getting up and fixing their drinks.

He decided to broach the subject of her days off again. He did so with some diffidence, for she seemed to know her own mind, though he wondered if she had tried so hard over the past weeks simply to ensure she stayed.

"Celia-"

"David, I'll let you know when I need days off. One day at the weekend or two nights during the week after dinner, that's what we agreed. I haven't needed any time so far, but this week I'll need to go back and check on my flat."

It surprised him. He had thought that she had given up her flat as well as her job, but immediately saw how silly that idea had been. She had kept to her promise of four weeks, and it would have been the height of foolishness to have nowhere to live if he had ended her stay.

That night as he lay in bed, he thought about Cecilia. He was relieved that she wanted to stay. Life had become so easy, so relaxed, with her calm and efficient housekeeping and childcare. She was certainly not the woman who left him for the footballer.

How long would she stay? She was getting older and her biological clock was ticking. The way she was with the children showed she would want children of her own. When she met some man on one of her days off and they hit it off big time, she would be off. Where would that leave him?

He gave up. He would keep her as long as she wanted to stay; the children needed her and he was certainly happy with that. She was so efficient and caring, and she was certainly easy on the eye. He felt an attraction to her and immediately a twinge of guilt at the thought, as if even that thought was an insult to Gwen's memory. He settled and said his usual 'Good night, I miss you!' to Gwen.

That week she took the evening off on Thursday, leaving after the evening meal, telling the children she'd be back later and would see them in the morning. David enjoyed putting the children to bed and doing the clearing up afterwards. She returned before eleven, giving him a smile before going straight to check on the children, telling him she'd get up in the night if necessary and then she went to bed.

David missed her joining him in the evening to watch TV or to read, but he put the house to bed and went to his own.

She took Saturday off, and told him she was going shopping and visiting friends. She would be back on Sunday morning. Once again he enjoyed having the children to himself, and the extra work was not onerous, though he knew it was because he was sure Cecilia would be back the next day, which she was, early.

On the following Sunday, after another Saturday off, she arrived in time for morning coffee and sat with him. Evan was playing in the garden and Bethan was in her playpen.

She seemed on edge, and he began to wonder if bad news was on the way.

"David," she began, tense and with a worried face. "I saw Alex last night. We think it's time you got out more. You need to relax - reconnect with your friends."

David was perplexed and showed it, which prompted her to prolong her plea.

"You know the children won't be upset if you go out for an evening. Alex was wondering if you'd go out for a drink with him. You've not been out since Gwen passed. It would do you good."

The appeal of the idea surprised him. There was a fleeting worry about the children, instantly banished, as the attraction of an evening's drinking came home to him. He nodded.

"You don't mind being left with the children in the evening as well as during the day?"

"Of course not!" she laughed, "It would make me happy that you were enjoying yourself."

"Well," he said with a smile, "I think I'd like that." He felt excited at the prospect, and inwardly laughed at the feeling. Fancy being excited by a night at the pub!

The relief on her face made him laugh, and she blushed. He'd forgotten how prettily she blushed; he used to make her blush for the fun of it when they were together. Once again she was looking out for him, and he felt a warm glow and a contented feeling.

"What?" she asked.

"You looked so relieved," he said, smiling.

"Well, you haven't shown any interest in going out. You need your friends, and you've lost touch with so many of them. I'm just glad you're joining the human race again."

He thought that he would have been offended a few weeks before, but now he knew she was right. He also wondered about the relationship between Alex and Celia: they had conspired to get her where she now was, so they had been seeing a lot of each other. Now, on a full day off, she had been with him again. David did not know how he felt about that. Was he jealous? He dismissed the idea, almost.

It felt strange pushing open the door to the pub the following Tuesday, and encountering so many people enjoying themselves. He had been among people at work, but these folk were out for a good time, and the good time came from friends. There was the noise of a hundred conversations, the hubbub of friendship.

He saw Alex sitting alone at a table with two pints of bitter. Alex saw him and waved, and soon the two were seated together. David let out a sigh.

"This is so good!" he said, relaxing against the padded back of the bench. "I needed this."

He took a long drink. "I needed this as well!" he laughed.

Alex looked relieved that he had done the right thing, getting David out for the evening.

"So," Alex asked, "How's your new housekeeper getting on?" His eyes twinkled with pleasure, thinking of the part he had played in getting her the job. David saw it. What a good solid friend Alex always was!

David was enthusiastic. "She's perfect," he said. "I never would have thought she could be so efficient, and the kids adore her."

Alex nodded and looked as if he might comment but nothing came, and the subject changed to work, football, finance and politics. Before he realised it, David had consumed four pints, two of which he had bought, and it was time to leave. They left the pub together.

"Shall we do this again?" asked Alex, knowing the answer.

"Definitely!" a well oiled David replied.

"You up to getting a few more folk along?" Alex persisted. "There's quite a few asking about you, you know."

"Good idea!" enthused David, full of the goodwill half a gallon of beer brings.

They parted at the end of Alex's street and David walked on home, feeling happier than he could remember. There was a chill in the air, the beginning of Autumn, September. It would not be the only chill after his meeting with their friends.

-

Next morning Cecilia was her normal self, busily looking after the children and providing his breakfast. He was surprised she did not enquire about his night, though he thought he caught her checking on his post-drinking condition.

That evening over dinner she surprised him again by asking, "David, when does our week start?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean what's the first day of our week? Monday? Sunday? Saturday?"

"I don't follow."

"Say the last day of this week is Friday, and the first of next week is Saturday. If I've not had an evening off this week and I want to take Saturday, I could take Friday evening and all Saturday together and stay at the flat overnight. You see - two different weeks, one day off in each?"

"You want to do that?"

"Yes," she said with a note of exasperation, "but it would be easier to know how the weeks pan out, then I wouldn't be taking advantage of you."

"Celia, if you wanted to take an overnighter at a weekend that's no problem. You could take Saturday night and all day Sunday - hell, you can take Friday to Sunday night if you want, I'm certainly not going to be counting how many days a week you take, as long as I can get to work during the week and I get a few days notice."

"You're very trusting." She said but something more was unsaid that he could not fathom.

He thought she said it wistfully, and wondered if she remembered how she'd abused his trust once before. Why did her reply seem like fishing? If so what sort of admission was she fishing for? That he would say he trusted her completely now? He thought to clarify things. How far would his trust go, he wondered.

"Celia, you took no days at all in the first four weeks, and the very fact you are trying to be fair regarding when weeks start and finish shows you aren't going to take advantage of me now. You always do more than you need to do. You're already so generous with your time. The only thing I'd need notice for is when you take your holidays, 'cos then I'd have to take days off as well or get family in, until Beth is a bit older."

"You're very good to me," she said with what he could only interpret as a loving, affectionate smile. He felt warmed by it and felt drawn to her affectionately. It unsettled him.

"You're very good to me!" he rejoined with a broad smile.

"Still," she persisted, "it would be good to have a clear idea when weeks begin and end, don't you think? And while we're at it, are we following calendar months for accounting purposes?"

"Accounting purposes?"

"You need to have an account of my spending on the joint account."

"Cecilia I trust you! Were you thinking of submitting accounts every month?"

There was a pause, as if Cecilia wondered whether to say what came next.

"Well, yes! David you are my employer. You should expect me to account for what I do. You must do that at work."

David in his turn was silenced. He had completely stopped thinking of her as an employee. So what did he think their relationship was? Quickly he covered his puzzlement, his unease.

"I suppose you're right. OK. Weeks begin on Saturday. Calendar month end is month end. Is that all right with you?"

He scanned her face. What exactly did he see? She seemed to be trying to see the meaning beneath the words. She did seem to be satisfied with his response, but he could not tell if it were that the timings were now clear, or that happily for her he'd unknowingly gone beyond the employer/employee relationship in his dealing with her, before she had brought him back to it. Her response further clouded his understanding.

"Fine!" she said with a bland smile, and turned her attention to the children. Even her smiles were delightful, but confusing - what did those smiles mean?

He had the feeling that there was still an uncertainty about the outcome of their discussion but she was now busy, and the opportunity to further clarify things had passed.

He half expected her to ask to take the Friday evening and Saturday, but she did not, only asking for Saturday. He decided to take the children overnight to his parents, and after clearing the visit with them, told Cecilia they would be away all day Saturday and they would not be back until Sunday evening, so she could have the whole weekend to herself.