All Comments on 'Guilty'

I enjoyed the read. Excellent hell in a cell opening will hook most readers and I was no exception. The road to the scenarios are rife with credulity potholes but the challenge posed to me was very interesting. I'm not the transcendent, zen stoic this narrator was, but it was a veritable Puccini opera of breathless twists and turns. I thank the author for sharing.

But a great story.

That is all that really matters so 5* from me

But it was a good read, no real cheating and the family lived happily ever after. And the crazy guy took off. What more can you ask?

I honestly wouldn't be able to trust people again who did that to me like what was done to him.

A good description of a man suffering from depression. So depressed in fact that he no longer was angry at his betrayal because he really didn't give a shit about living all that much. I do not blame him for his feelings, after all he had everything taken away from him. The trouble is, that he was in such a pathetic, irrational state that he was easy prey for the manipulators to abuse again. If his family and friends had really cared about him, they'd never have abandoned him. If they had cared a little, they would have made a PUBLIC apology for the horrible way they had treated him and they would not have asked for anything from him. They had no right to ask for forgiveness. They had no right to insert themselves back into his life. If they had cared about him at all, they would not have needed to group up on him to confront him with their "apologies". He had a good life with Karen, the kind of life that you could retire to and be happy. Life with Megan would always contain the memory of being falsely arrested and that she really did not love him enough to stand by him.

But it really makes you think about how America has changed. Gone is the mindset that it's better that some of the guilty be free than even one innocent be incarcerated. The knowledge of all the innocent men accused of murder on death row, made this all too believable. This is a very good, thought-provoking story. I like the way it ended. The only criticism I had is that I can't see Curt as complacent after what he went through. I would imagine a much more paranoid reaction to Tim.

and thought long and seriously about ever becoming friends again with the exes.

does anyone else doubt that their motivation to reconcile was fueled by his bank balance?

It doesn't hurt that he is a millionaire now .

somehow the statement, death becomes them seems fitting

and be expected to show gratitude. TK U MLJ LV NV

a 4 for your effort,.

I gave this a 5 for a good read and a good sexual LW story

Are you fucking kidding me? I'm sorry doesn't fix a fucking thing. Certainly doesn't restore trust after such a monumental betrayal. "You're all sorry? Right, good, apology accepted, now get off my porch." The end

Wish I'd written this story! 5 stars!

it was well written. The story line was different than what we often see. It was interesting social commentary.

But jeez, to take them back? Pretty out there ,if you ask me.

I liked the story and i liked the ending and you definitely improved from your previous stories on getting them back together but after spending 4 pages you really needed to make it take more time from their apology to her coming back to him. It felt unbalanced when compared to the pace of the rest of the story.

Like so many others have mentioned, he forgave them far to easily. Seriously, who would want assholes like those in their life? Also, if they were so sorry about what they had done, why weren't any of them waiting outside the prison gates? He's only out of prison a few minutes and he's getting calls from the fuckers but not one of them was there to offer him the tiniest bit of help, a lift somewhere or to apologize! Funny how they ALL turn up together when he's a millionaire.

Like Snuga wrote, better to take a chance on Karen than waste any more time on people who proved beyond a shadow of doubt they will bail when the going gets tough. Tim also would of been a very hot commodity media wise so a tell all book, shaming the worthless fucks who claimed to be family would of been a much better ending.

The Tim character was poorly done straw man villain who really added nothing to the story.

The legal stuff was really just too contrived. I get WHY you did it that way, as his being falsely accused and railroaded fuels the main plot arc. That said, I think similar results could have been achieved, even if proper police procedures had been adhered to. Yeah, it might have taken some research. BTW, I don't blame you for NOT doing the reaearch, this is a free story on a free site, and you write only for pleasure afterall. But for a solid page and a half, having your readers thinking "NO WAY it goes down like that...." can't be good for the overall audience response to this story. One example that would have easy to fix: There is no way a plumbing work truck remains parked where it was abandoned for the entire two months. The vehicle would have been wrapped up in the investigation, impounded and searched for evidence. There is ALOT more stuff, but you get the idea. Changing a sentance or two about retrieving the truck from the impound yard, and having to pay the fees associated, helps to reinforce how unfair his treatment had been. I spotlighted this, because the more realistic idea would only have strengthened the story telling......

Once you got past the unfamiliar to the author (I presume) legal stuff, the rest of the story moves right along in a pretty decent fashion. Some of the RAAC dialogue is pretty good, and I really like how TIRED of all the BS he had become by the time the family shows up. His exhaustion comes through well, and is well portrayed. I agree that Karen seemed to get the short end of the stick. I would have liked him to put Megan on hold, while he repaired his relationship with the daughter FIRST! Also, after bringing honest and upfront closure on his relationship with Karen BEFORE sleeping with Megan. If she was really willing to do ANYTHING, she ought to be eager to WAIT a little longer, if not as long as it takes, until he was ready.

Overall, I have enjoyed your work, and I thankyou for your ongoing contributions. Yours was the first story I read this morning, and I look forward to the next!

Because this story can't be set in the reality I live in...

I was a police officer. Retired now due to an injury. I guess it's popular to take shots at law enforcement these days. Of course, now that many officers aren't exactly in a hurry to respond to calls, I wonder how public opinion will change when people call 911 and no one shows up.

I guess for the purposes of your story, you decided to throw out Criminal Procedure and Criminal Law. I guess you threw out Civil Law as well, since pretty much every media organization would have lawyers on staff to prevent being sued, and it is astounding what they can say about, and how guilty they can make someone look, while still not being liable in any way for any damage that may occur. Words like "alleged" give them pretty much free reign to say whatever they like. You should have had him win the lottery. It's a fantastic tactic that is much more credible and likely than anything you wrote.

I am not going to say anything about grammar or structure. That was fine, it's the content that was the problem. If you're not going to do any research, you should file the story as Fantasy. That way I could avoid muttering "that couldn't happen" under my breath after reading every other sentence. By the way, you do realize that it takes years for a Civil Trial, and that isn't counting the Appeals that would inevitably occur? Never mind, of course you didn't realize that, it should have been obvious from the story.

I admit, I haven't submitted a single story. I prefer to read, to be honest. I can also claim I haven't submitted a story as wildly fantastic or with such an incredible dearth of research as this. I think I'm in a better position...

Yes........but no.

because nobody ever wins a lawsuit against the media right?

And there are not countless examples of police officers abusing their powers in every way possible?. (A minority of the police but still)

This is a story that was engaging and very readable, if all we wanted was reality then Hollywood might as well shut up shop as almost every entertainment production has an element of unreality.

This was a well told story.

Read some of the comments and I guess most people have forgotten about the McMarten Preschool case. All those people were innocent. The allegations were horrible. And they were lies. Shit like this story can and does happen.

From the third paragraph on this fantasy took suspension of belief to level that perhaps a 3 to 6 year old could maintain but any older the buts just ruin it. When writing use subject matter you know, or get an editor that knows the subject. It makes me sad that what could have been a really great story was destroyed by the writers lack of research into the news editing process and the law enforcement process. 2*

I normally find that those two qualities are all that I care about in a story, but I have to say that the ending of this one was very unrewarding. I still gave it a 5, but really, really wish the end could have been more satisfying.

This story while well written is a little far fetched for me. Maybe I'm a bad person but I could never have forgiven Megan or the parents and the friends. It's easy to be a wife, a parent, or a friend when things are rosy.

The true value of family and friends is someone that will stand by you. If Curt had been convicted of the charges it might have been a different matter but to throw him aside from the onset is just unforgivable.

As I said, I liked the way the story and details were written but for me I couldn't have forgiven those people and was disappointed that Curt did.

Thanks for the hard work and please continue to write.

Woodmanone

I respect Rphinney's comment - a few bad and/or stupid cops have tarnished the reputation of the entire profession. However, this story read credibly to me until the abrupt forgiveness in the supermarket scene. Four stars from me - would have been five without the RAAC end.

i am a forgiving man , or try to be, but if i found myself in his situation i like to think i would have enough respect for myself to tell them all to eat shit and die!

good story apart from the ending.

Here is how it works in real life. My wife cheated, I found out and we had a knock down, drag out fight where I kicked her out. She actually ran to my parents home and they took her in. When I refused to speak to her and work things out, they disowned me. That was 34 years ago. Over those years, I've spoke with my ex-mother briefly, my father none at all and my sister only briefly. Only my younger brother stayed in contact simply because he had went through a divorce.

With my parents helping my wife combat my divorce, I simply left. It was over 26 years before they ever found me. By then, my wife had divorced me, remarried and had children, children my parents considered their grandchildren. That left me open to marrying my long time common law wife, making our kids and living arrangements legal. After my mother tracked me down, she was surprised at two things. One, she was no longer my mother and two, she had actual blood grandchildren.

She wanted to get to know them but I refused her. In no uncertain terms, I explained when they cut me out of their life, and to me and my family, they didn't exist. That was 8 years ago and my parents still stalk me, I've slammed the door in the face of my father and called the police over a dozen times. Where I can't stop them, is when they show up for a ballgame that one of my children are playing in. It's an open venue, a place for everyone so I can't do anything.

But what made me proud beyond words, was when they watched my daughter playing basketball. It was a close game and my daughter is the varsity point, she handles the ball well but is pretty small. She made the bounce pass that another of her teammates caught and laid it in, winning the game by 2 for us. My parents were nearly the first ones to her side. They were excited and yet my daughter acted as if they were strangers and turned her back to them. She knew the whole story about how her father had been treated. She ignored and moved away from them and it hurt them both. To be perfectly honest, I didn't care at all. They were and are mere strangers.

Over the past 8 years, my ex-wife divorced and along with my parents, began to hound me. I sold my business, a hardware store that I had purchased when it was very small but built it up to a pretty good business. Lowe's bought me out and while not enough to make me rich, we are comfortable. They were going to put a store in anyway which would have put me out of business, so it was win-win for me. Investments and a part time online job my wife and I share provide a very comfortable life for us.

While I was selling my business my and my girls were in college out of state, I put our home up for sale too. Living in Charlotte, property is hot. Ours had a bidding war. The house and the three acres it sat on inside the city limits instead of going for the $375,000 we had expected, went for $512,000. With a mortgage of less than $30K, we simply added it in with our investments, bringing our nest egg well over $1.25M. The other 9 acres went for $266,000 and was enough to buy a home in Idaho. A nice farmhouse sat on 44 acres, along with a creek, ponds and all the outbuildings made it a perfect fit for Alisa and I.

We did our best to not telegraph our sale or move. Trucks were sent out with all our possessions and it was only after the new owners were ready to move in, my wife and I drove our brand new 2013 4 door Ram Charger 4x4. We met our children in Boise, where they had both transferred in order to keep us at least in the same state. We were much further north but it was close enough. That was almost 3 years ago and as of yet, my ex-parents nor ex-wife have found us.

He was called for a plumbing job and even though there was no child porn found in his house or on his computer, he was dressed as a plumber with a tool belt, he had the record of the call inviting him over in his phone records, and there is no evidence he had ever spoken to or conspired with any of them before, he was assumed guilty? The police are not idiots and it never would have gone down this way. That being said, I never would have taken her back in a million years, and I don't think he would have either.

But made it in the end.

It appears that English is not your first language. Nonetheless, although there was a semblance of a decent story here, you should seriously consider learning how to write either in German or English or both. Good creative writing courses are offered in many places.

Good luck!

Tiny Tim

Do lawsuits against the media get won? Sure, very occasionally and rarely. Except in this story, where he wins against over 16 media organizations. So, in essence in the world where this story takes place, every print and media organization are peopled by morons idiotic enough to not infer guilt, but explicitly state it with no evidence whatsoever, and with the demonstrable and malicious intent to disparage an innocent person's reputation, because that is the standard by which they would be judged for such a lopsided award. Has that ever happened? Actually, no, not once, ever. You see, they use lawyers to edit stories to make sure it doesn't happen.

Do police officers commit crimes or engage in immoral conduct? Yes, because police officers are people, and as far as I know, there has only ever been one person who some people claim was perfect, and he was not a law enforcement officer. Bet most can guess who he was...

But, every person who commits a crime does so for a reason. It's called motive, and figures prominently in most criminal investigations. What motive did these police officers have in this story? None at all, that I read. So why go through the trouble and effort, and the inevitable lawsuits and prison terms that would result from such behavior? Oh, right, they must all have the same irrational delusions as Tim.

Further, what kind of moronic pedophile gets numerous people together, a dangerous proposition itself considering undercover operatives, to molest children, and then calls a strange person (plumber) to fix a leak at that specific moment? Was this the figurative Dike leaking prior to the flood that kills everyone? It couldn't wait for a more appropriate time, like say ANY other time on ANY other day?

Hollywood is fine. I am often put off by movies specifically because they are too realistic, and I don't need to pay to see the same depressing stuff I live every day. However, I can't watch a movie about aliens attacking unless I know beforehand it's science fiction. Lord of the Rings is very entertaining, as Fantasy. But when Gandalf fries some Hobbit with a spell because he was caught screwing Gandalf's wife, well, that really isn't entertainment, it's just silly...

You're as delusional as Tim was if you think this works even as fiction. Suspension of disbelief is a real thing, and once that plane is broken, it just doesn't work as entertainment or even as passing time. It becomes a joke, and this wasn't categorized as Humor.

It was obviously far off in fantasyland when he had a plumber show up for an emergency call after hours and only charging $50 for an hour.

From there it only got more ridiculous.

There are authors, readers and anonymous who are well, anonymous.

Work and effort to write elevates authors to what this site is "about" and I/we thank you for sharing on Lit.

x

Good entertainment, but I could never have take the wife, the parents or daughter back. They stomped on him when he was down. They proved that they were not confiable as other than acquaintances.

original and loved the dialogue, the apology from the wife and family and friends. Thought that was really well done. I found myself disbelieving our protagonist could be railroaded by the justice system like this, but that didnt kill it for me.Nice job and look forward to more from you.

And before I get going let me say that the Anon that wrote a complete story about his life - "Not believable" - should get an editor and write HIS story. Too funny! But as for this story, I definitely think you're getting better as an author. This was easier to read than some of your previous stories and I liked the plot. I have to ignore a lot of the comments because you're not a lawyer and this is fiction, so not everything is going to work in the real world. A couple of points. It did seem strange that the Police never connected his clothes, his tools, his truck or the cell phone calls to him during the early parts of the case. But they're human too and do make mistakes. You would have thought that his lawyer would have tried to make those points. When he's released and sued everyone, why didn't he sue his ex-wife for half their assets? He wouldn't have been guaranteed, at that point, that he would get money from the news organizations, but it should have been a slam dunk to get half their savings and half the value of their house at the very least. And at that point any money would have been important to him. It also would have given him the chance to get some revenge on his ex-wife. Also, did the other news organizations lose their suits and have to pay out even more money to him? One big point - if he was smart enough to be able to change his contact information on his website he should have been able to delete the site. In any case he could have changed the name. Moving from one State to another, his license to work wouldn't have been valid. Another question. Why didn't he use some of the money to legally change his name? Any Judge would have bent over backwards to help him and seal the records. Like the Judge that granted his divorce? Would have solved a lot of his problems and made him almost impossible to find. He also should have gotten some professional mental help to get over his family. Last, but not least, I hated the ending. He should have merely shut the door in their faces and refused to talk to them. No going back or forgiveness possible for the families and friends behavior. I don't suppose his being rich had anything to do with them coming to him? And since this was fiction he should have hired some bad asses to kill Tim. THAT alone would have made me feel better about this ending. Keep up the good work.

Don't think anyone can be railroaded?

Look up Tim Masters and the Peggy Hettrick murder case.

The police and prosecution ignored and hid evidence that it was not him.

He spent over nine years in prison on a life without parole sentence before he was exonerated.

You got nitpicked again by some about the contents of the story, and especially about the ending. But it was your story, and your ending, not theirs. If they want a certain ending, they should write their own story with their own ending. Enjoyed it, thanks for writing it and allowing me to read it.

So very entertaining . So much unrealized potential ! So much to say, I can't .

Gave you 3*s .lol

AMerryman

This women he married dumped him without a word or any interaction. And the daughter declaring him dead. Friends left him out to hang . No one gave a dam . They hung him without a trial. And you made this story into a reconziliation event. Never going to happen he had the money now and should have moved on with his life. To take back to a wife who dumped him seems unplausable. Riducious . No way I can by into this story. Sorry but it stinks

And improbable, but who cares. It was not a work of art but it was a page turner. Where it was realistic was in the depiction of the hero as he was going through the trauma of the charges and jailing.

Thanks for your effort. Your other stories are good as well. 4****

They can destroy your life without saying a single untrue word. After all, they are not required to hide the news that you were arrested with a pack of child molesters. Nice wish fulfillment tho. Other nitpicks, there is no such thing as "cheating on" a child molester. The marriage is over before they marry. All vows are broken by an animal unfit to swear them. Seriously, they're the lowest form of life.

I'll also note that his kid put up with worse than he did. Theres no way she had friends left and she didnt have the safety of a cell or a multi million dollar get we ll card.

Where we live a fireplace repairman was gunned down in a drug hit when the perps hit the residence. It was a condo building and he was there servicing all the fireplaces. Could someone get busted like this. Without a doubt. The rest is a little farfetched. Calling a good lawyer should have had him out the same day.

But they are still entertaining and make us laugh. As far as reconciliation goes, it only happened because he and Karen did not fall in love, which was a shame. They were both better people together. But since that did not happen, its OK that he has this incredible sexy fuck-toy for a slave/wife. If things do not improve at least she can be in his life as his slave. And if things do improve then they can forget the slave role and be friends and lovers and spouses again. No sense cutting off his supply of vigorous enthusiastic sex just to spite his wife.

Thanks for the read and the absurd humor.

Good romp in LA LA land, California. Always like it when the good guy wins, but..... it would been fun to read about her adventures a a sex slave to him as she regained his trust and love like having her lock his girlfriends pussy while he buried his cock on her as she rode him reverse cowgirl in a chair.. hey, how about that image... pennance should be fun too.

That is ridiculous, there is no way to forgive the ex wife and friends. Your parents and daughter I can see but no way after she fucked the friend. None of them had any respect for him.

is bonnietaylor2 for her stupid comments on loving wives stories. This story was so absurd it was actually funny, but better than most of the trash posted in this category.

I thought about this story again, and realized that it isn't RAAC that bothered me about the ending. I've made this comment about other stories - women just don't act the way this wife did. PapaToad and JPB and a few others write women correctly - even if they are in the wrong, it is still the husband's fault. They don't apologize and display abject lasting sincere contrition - that is what we guys do. They aren't romantic - they are practical - this wife would have moved on. This behavior makes for a nice fantasy, but it is too far from reality for suspension of disbelief.

From the start of this horrible story, you had him portrayed as a child molestor and it's like you lived in some bizarre world that had zero association with the law, human nature or common sense.

I can't even begin to fully articulate the errors regarding the law nevermind the part where everyone abandoned him on a call from a cell phone he was handed. Then the forced reconciliation and the weird as fuck apology. What person in their right mind, after almost 2 fucking years, would accept a simple group "We're sorry" sign and want to reconnect with the ex wife who dumped him? What happens next time there's an issue with the law, will they dump him just as fast?

The people you want around you are the ones who will trust you and they didn't. His family believed the worst thing about him not based on evidence but "just because" no one came to his defence.

So while I wanted to enjoy this story, the truth is you sucked every once of enjoyment out of it. I ended up missing pages just to get through it.

Although I don't really see him taking his ex-wife back I did enjoy a unique story.

Writing was fair, story was entertaining to a point, and there was some originality. But plot was really "out there" and not credible. Would never forgive and would never forget betrayal by so-called family and friends. Hell, I've never forgotten nor forgiven an 8th grade teacher's injustice towards me, and that was over fifty years ago. So RAAC story it is, and my bias is to deduct stars for RAAC tales. Just my opinion.

I liked it...Even if some issues used by the writer to achieve his goal were a little hard to believe, this is a good reading and a good story...4*

Love your tongue in cheek stories, always amusing. Your sense of humour matches mine. I like reconciliation, this was more easily got to than some of your other stories where the wives betrayed their husbands and became real lovable sluts but entertaining nevertheless.

And while the assumed guilty and such was real,the cops and da would have freed him right away. The fact that he really was a plumber would have weighed heavily,and the fact that it could be shown pretty quickly by his phone records that he had only the one contact with the people involved,and would have been let go quickly,any da woukd rum the other way,since they had no evidence against him.

In the context of the story as written,he would be a fool not to not go after the cops and da and judge,he would have on hell of a wrongful imprisonment suit.For one thing it would be the cops who leaked information to the press and made it sound like he was guilty,for another the delay in clearing him,or the judge not looking at the lack of evidence and releasing him,woukd make them dead ducks in court.If for anyhing,a decent person would want to try and make sure it woukdn't happen again.

The other unreal aspect is the was his parents dropped him.In real life,the parents are in denial,and they would not likely do what they did.The wife might do what she did,a lot of people have no backbone when it comes to public opinion,but parents wouldn't do that. I also doubt they would reconcile like that,the husband and wife, I don't think there could be trust again after what she did,she was vicious to him,wouldn't even let him explain, and she can't say it was fear of the public,because how woukd they know?She decided he was guilty,then cut and ran into the arms of a jackass,without giving him any benefit of the doubt.She didn't even try to get him a decent lawyer,she left him to rot.

We need more of this here. I was moved when Curt found himself arrested and basically Shanghaied by the system. Hopefully that doesn't happen often. The reconciliation was just. Meagan did her penance. Thanks for writing. *****

It is amazing how many readers concentrate on some legal technicalities. I personally think it would be extremely boring and pointless to write some kind of legal essay. The story is a little too long anyway and this stuff is simply not what it´s about. My recommendation would be to just sit back, relax, be open and read the story, thinking "WHAT IF" instead of "BUT". Thanks for the few constructive and encouraging comments.

I just about managed to get through all the bs you typed, and it made no sense whatsoever, if you were able to become a police officer it shows why the US has to raise the bar in the police academy's.

Seriously you were not really a cop were you?, if you were then i understand why so many police in the states do such incredibly fucking stupid (criminal) things.

It was a good story until the lead character developed a serious case of stupidity and let the people who deserted him back in his life. They all proved that they would not stand by him if anything happens so why would anyone with any sense at all want these assholes anywhere near them? Oh, while suing the papers was nice, how about suing the police for brutality, and his defense lawyer for incompetence?

The only thing that would have kept this a good story, for me at least, would have been if the guy had told his ex-wife goodbye at the store then rushed home to tell Karen they were moving to another country. Why give people who destroyed your world a shot at destroying the better world you have created on your own?

Call me a pessimistic bastard, but life is just filled with examples of people just like the assholes in this story only wanting to reconnect so they can get their grubby hands on the money.

So I'm sorry that I can't give more than two stars (it would have been one but the writing was good enough to earn the second star) and can't favorite it, but then that is just because I personally didn't like the way it turned out. Everyone else should read it and form their own opinion of the story.

I will not succumb to the people trying to use their tiny 5 star power to get the endings they prefer. I have invested the time and it is my privilege to let the story turn out the way I like it. In fact, the comments of the "louder" part of the audience have made it almost impossible by now to write a non-reconciliation story.

I personally understand the voting system to judge the quality of a story anyway, not the compatibility to my own plot expectations. But I know that this is handled differently here. The stories describing ex-SEALs that have an international P.I. firm, divorce their wife, preferably with some Cayman accounts and a master computer geek involved, leading to her being impoverished, having Aids and being desperate will surely get a top voting.

Will I ever write such stuff? I doubt it.

... and there are two sides to every story. Failure on both counts.

But at the end of the day do you choose the path of righteous bitterness or forgiveness and happiness?

5 stars.

What I commented made perfect sense. The fact that you did not understand it speaks more to your comprehension than to my statements. It is very telling that you couldn't manage to explain how my comments did not make sense, whereas I had no problem explaining why your comments weren't any more realistic than the subject originally being commented upon.

As to the state of Police Academies in the US, perhaps you should attend one before commenting AGAIN on something upon which you are obviously completely ignorant. The police academy normally teaches each officer the Criminal Portion of Law School, which is not exactly light reading in the US. Perhaps you'd like to comment next on my parentage, and complete the Trifecta of Ignorant Bullshit you are so close to accomplishing?

As for my credentials, I graduated second in my class from the Atlanta Police Academy. I am still a certified Peace Officer of the State of Georgia, USA. I am medically retired after a line of duty injury which left me completely paralyzed below my chest, requiring my retirement from active duty. I am still very involved in the law enforcement community, assisting other law enforcement officers who are injured in the line of duty, and the families of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty. And if you aren't keeping up with current events, we have quite a few who selflessly sacrifice themselves every day to protect complete strangers. What do you do for humanity that makes you feel justified in heaping scorn and ridicule on them?

As far as speaking from a position of complete ignorance, you are obviously far more comfortable there than am I, so I will bow to your far greater experience in that regard.

@stev2244

I appreciate the effort that goes into creating a story. If I thought it was easy, I'd have submitted several stories myself. That being said, when you use an entire profession as a generalized force within your story, and then morph and subvert it in a completely opposite manner from its intent and purpose, you should very well expect some reaction. As evident from the above commentor, some ignorant people will believe you portrayed them accurately because your story was, ostensibly, set within reality. If you intend to have this group act in a way contrary to normal, at least make mention of some reason why they have deviated from the norm. If you had alluded to some rogue group within the profession, I doubt I would have commented at all, since I am not now, nor have I ever been part of a rogue group. So, in that manner, perhaps my criticism might end up being constructive. Please bear in mind, I was specific in pointing out the flaws, I didn't just say "This makes no sense, it's shit" and stop right there. That is definitely not constructive in any way, and again, please refer to the above commentor for further explanation of that concept.

Ok, maybe this aspect is quite important for you. For me and my intended story idea the whole legal and police thing is just not important. There are certainly good police officers and bad ones. There are good legal systems (I have deliberately not pointed out in which country this happens) and bad ones. You can be lucky and unlucky in each of those. I think the German authorities are quite fair and competent, yet a famous weatherman has recently lost his whole existence due to false rape accusations. And yes, he successfully sued the media companies. So such stuff happens and it happens everywhere.

The thing is - it just doesn´t matter for the story. It´s a story about less than perfect people trying to cope with bad luck. Neither the police force nor the legal system should play a major role in this story.

Though I find myself agreeing with you in no small measure about the current mindset of law enforcement and law enforcement training in the United States. Police have changed from "Serving and Protecting" to "Controlling and Neutralizing". Much of this has to do with Israeli/ADL involvement in training of police forces, large and small, across the nation. The Israelis make the Third Reich and the Soviets look like pikers in the beating down of the citizenry, in my opinion. (I am not referring to Jewish people here but the tyrants and bigots that run the Israeli government)

No comment, positive or negative, on Stev2244's story. I simply don't read RAAC or even BTB for that matter. I hope he keeps writing.

I can certainly understand your point of view in the matter. Of course, you have to understand that every person reading has their own subjective viewpoint, they will not always see the matter through your perspective. When I read the story, I see the entire plot hinging on the actions of the police and the media, as they are the causative engine which drives the entire plot. Without their actions, there is no story at all, and once they have acted, every other action in the story, for the most part, springs directly or indirectly from their actions as an effect of what they did. So if they are that important to the story, shouldn't they be developed a bit more within the story so that their actions make some logical sense?

Further, I don't necessarily object to their existence. But as they appear, identifying them as "a rogue group of operatives" and "public opinion" would be much more credible based on their actions. But, you didn't choose that identification, you specifically chose "police" and "media" because they would be easily identifiable to your readers, because they are real entities. As such, that leaves you with some responsibility to portray these real entities in a credible manner, due to the obvious association readers will make.

I could venture a guess and say it isn't important to you how they are portrayed because you aren't a member of these groups. Of course it could also be true that it wasn't important to you because you just never considered how it would be viewed, or you considered it so much less important than the behavior or psychological impact of events on the main character. Again, everyone has a different perspective and may tend to see things from a different viewpoint.

I could rant about all the good things cops do, but I won't. I will only ask how you would feel if you called 911 and no one showed up. Because I think that is enough that what they do should warrant some basic level of respect, enough so that their portrayal should not come off as a bunch of bumbling Deputy Fife's or as a menacing evil lurking and waiting to pounce on someone's civil rights and obliterate them.

Perhaps it wasn't important in your viewpoint, but in my opinion, they deserve more consideration in how they will appear to the readers that don't already have some idea that your portrayal is not accurate because you didn't see the importance of making it so.

Personally, I don't mind the reconciliation. I don't particularly find it incredible. If you went the other way and he burned effigies of his ex-wife, that would not have been incredible either. I have personally witnessed women that have taught their children to lie about being molested by their father solely to ensure custody and the resulting payments, regardless of the damage it did to the men personally or professionally. I have also been stabbed by a woman when I arrested her husband for beating her to unconsciousness. Likewise, I have seen men stalk and attack other men for dating his ex-wife, and end up in prison vowing to "win her back" after his release, and men plot and carry out murder conspiracies because his wife "was flirting and was bound to cheat on him eventually."

Some people can tolerate any amount of abusive behavior by loved ones, and ANY episode of Jerry Springer will demonstrate amply that fact. So, if you want to reconcile them, go ahead, and anyone that doesn't believe it could happen has never seen the diversity of behavior within humanity. However, in the future when you will portray real people, perhaps you should have some consideration of how you are doing so, and if they might consider that portrayal as generally realistic. If you ever want to do research regarding law enforcement, I'll be happy to volunteer my opinion...

It was a nice story, but certainly not erotic or porn.

The story was very good in general.. not concerned about little details re accuracy at all...easy to read which is not always an easy thing to create. Remember it's fiction... enjoy it.

However my only real issue, or criticism, is with the ending.

I find it difficult to follow your story line of events and see how someone who was put through so much can suddenly just be OK with the treatment he got... the character you write about would at the least be suffering some traumatic stress over such an incident and highly unlikely to want to make up with those who had totally abandoned him, especially family. waving a magic wand and saying yeah OK its all over now lets get back together ...just does not seem realistic.

I feel this ending and the endings of many of your stories get the least attention when you write. You write very well how your character was bitter and hurt yet then quickly just cast those issues aside and had them live in happily ever after land.

While I do think that in real life marriages with children tend to either limp along or get worked on following cheating and such traumatic events... even then it doesn't happen overnight and I feel you could reflect this more in your writing.

In this story you had the wife divorce him and cheat on him without even talking with him to find out who, how why etc. While that may even be a real world reaction why would your character hurt and bitter as he is, or in fact if it was the real world, want a woman back like that.. at least not without a long recovery and counselling and so on.

Just my opinion where you could improve.. still like your writing though.. keep it going

Generally it is a good story but it got convoluted and rushed at the end.

Nice story. I totally get everything. Only thing I have to quibble with is why did he just give up on his daughter? Parents, understood. Wife, understood, and you painted a good picture of his anguish over that. But his own daughter? Everyone knows teenage girls overreact, and a father has a special bond. As an aside, fighting for joint custody is at odds with his 'ex-daughter' approach. Other than that, good work.

Gut level? I loved it. I wanted him to take them all back, because I like happy endings and I believe in forgiveness. The great weakness of the story, of course, is that the people who knew and loved him could have believed the charges against a man they would have known to be incapable of such horrendous behavior. But that unreality has to be there for the story to exist as it does. So it's forgiven. I love this author, even if most of his stories have some similar unreality at their heart. Please ignore your critics and please keep writing these wonderful (unrealistic) stories.

but there were way too many holes. He would have never been convicted in the first place. None of the characters were very deep nor very believable. It was an okay story but that's about it.

was too easy, no real "penance" done by the family who abandoned him. And I know I don't have to say anything about Tim getting off scot free.

The wife, daughter ,parents and friends sure came a running when they found out about the money. He's a fool to take that cheating slut of a wife and ungrateful daughter back. If not for the money they never would have returned.

you write well, but you have to change scenarios. the not believable, full of holes, contrived RAAC stories that you post are getting old...

That's where the story went from the time all the exes showed up at his door. Yes he forgave all of them, but that should have been the end of it. From family to acquaintances who may or may not have moved back up to friend level.

Should have been a far, far longer crawl back up for ex-wife, -daughter, -mother, -father, and ex-friends; if at all. And a pre-nuptial with ex-wife that requires regular lie-detector examinations, periodic ankle bracelet monitoring, no partaking of any of protagonist's income (e.g., she must work to pay him for her room and board, she buys/leases her own car, etc.). The prenuptial also provides Karen gets much (perhaps 3/4 of his estate if he precedes ex-wife. Then additional humiliations, such as P.I. surveillance (deliberately done obviously enough for wife and any friends she makes to know she's being watched, etc.) I'm not sure exactly how to punish ex-daughter and ex-parents, I defer to a much better writer than I. With his millions, perhaps a fitting punishment for Tim might be child porn "somehow" showing up on his work and home computer and reported to the police.

He left an honest woman who actually cares about him to go back to that?

I don't know how he looks his reflected image in the mirror in the eye. That's not a man, that's a mouse. He needs to break with his past and give Karen his love.

And yes, this bullshit "reconciliation" is about the money. Don't walk away, run.

This too is a good story. gave you a 5

give you 1 star to offset the cucks 4 and 5 stars.

But I cannot for one micro-second imagine that a guy who has been so badly treated would so readily reconcile with those who abused him. It isn't a case of burn the bitch. It's a case of ignore, forget and avoid the bitch and find a decent loving woman. It's sad that so many of your stories go the same way. A major disappointment given how well you write.

You write well and, though you often slip the bonds of rationality, put together an interesting story. For some odd reason I like that. Keep doing it!

"Curt," Megan said, "could you imagine to be Lara's father again? She needs you. Could you imagine to be your parent's son again? Imagine to be Jane and Alan's friend again? They all want this. They need this."

They want this and need this... Do they? Do they fucking really?

Sorry, but I can't see him forgiving and mending fences so quickly and easily. Also, his shabby treatment of Karen was a real turn off for me.

Um....wow! The only thing you left out was Mother Theresa kicking him in the stones and a dog peeing on his leg. SO over the top!

The writing was stilted.

The Reconciliation was not particularly plausible. Just POOF, it happened.

Actually POOF he is a child molester, POOF, he is innocent, POOF, he is rich, POOF, he has a girlfriend. POOF, his family is there, POOF Tim is defeated by...POOF, POOF he is fucking Megan and POOF Karen is JUST FINE.

POOF POOF POOF

Nope. English is NOT your first language.

This was sophomoric compared to Watching the Clouds, which I enjoyed. Yes, stuff 'just happened' there too. But it felt plausible and had time to heal wounds.

I did not like this story.

He took them back way too easily. He should have made them work harder and earn his love friendship and respect back. Other than that a good story.

You must have WAY better drugs than we do.

1 star. This was awful. Why take them back so easily?

The husband was an ok guy, until the end when he suddenly turned into a stupid wimp. He should have taken his new girlfriend and moved to another country. A name change, possibly having his citizenship changed. Then too, since he could afford it, hiring someone to beat up Tim on a regular basis would be a great idea. If needed he could also hire someone to see that any attempt by his former friends and family to find him would be thwarted.

Of course my objection to the police and the courts not being punished still stands. His profession was easily proved so both of these are subject to being sued. Even if the lawyer and the court officers escaped monetary damages, a simple request to the bar that they be banned from the legal system, as being too incompetent to be expected to provide legal services to a vulnerable public, should be pursued.

I'd really love to see an alternative version of this story offered, one in which justice plays a larger role, and where the husband does not suddenly lose both his mind and his balls. I'm not a totally heartless bastard, his ex's don't need to be regularly beaten up, just leaving them to bear the guilt over what they did would suffice. Tim however should find himself a total cripple, confined to a shitty nursing home where he can still be visited occasionally by someone skilled in inflicting extreme pain.

I just don't see anyone who suffers as the husband did getting over the betrayal as quickly, or as well, as the husband does in this story. Personally I think most people would enjoy my requested version more than this version, although I could be wrong about that. Still, it would be interesting to compare comments for both versions just to see which one would be more acceptable.

If you want to do a good reconciliation story the cheating spouse needs to be somewhat sympathetic.

Megan is in no way that particularly when compared to Karen that completely gets the short end of the stick here.

Even ignoring the lack of faith in her partner she displayed at the begining of the story during the reconciliation she just comes across as a narcisistic, egoistic, manipulative, shallow woman. Who want to live with a woman like that?

You need to SHOW us that she loves him and want reconcile instead of just TELLING us that since he really loves her they are reconcilled.

If my wife and children...my parents...my friends, neighbors, and co-workers, can't stand behind me and show their support when I am most in need of their love, belief in me, and support, then I certainly don't recognize their existence when circumstances improve for through no help from them. Now that hubby is independently wealthy and more people are looking favorably upon him, Jane and Lara are making a monumental effort to get back in his good graces. Never in a million years would I ever accept them back in my home. Jane condemned him for something he didn't do...but she was guilty of infidelity and got a free pass. My wife's pussy doesn't belong to her; it belongs to me. Once she gives it away to someone else, it no longer belongs to me. And I don't want her, her pussy, or her body again. I certainly don't want to trade away loyalty, love and respect in exchange for humiliation, lies, deceit and infidelity.

and she threw you up and out!! gave it a 5

have many kids , then kill them in front of him for being such a fucking joke as a man.

God i love to wipe out his genetic line one by one for his sins against self respect, and the rights of a victim to tell his rapist to die.

you dont love her you love me.....really? in that case every battered cunt deserves her beating...so do the kids, they need the abuse because they dont know that the abuser is doing it for there own good.

and if you dont think they abused him ....well you are a woman and it is not like you could feel a mans pain.

I gave this a 5 just to offset this fool's comment. Annony is one sick old fucking asshole who should be banned forever from LIT!!!

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

for content and effort and for a great LW story that pissed off the ashol of LIT!

I liked the story, but thought he gave in a little too easy at the end. Definitely should have gotten a prenup. Once bitten, twice shy and all that...

It was piece of shit.

How could he trust them so easily after the fucked him over.Should've shut the damn door in their pathetic face.He should've made that Miserble piece of shit a Living HELL.

How could his family be so stupid to belive shit shown in media.Media most of the times make false stories or hide facts and add their own spices for Ratings.

Damn he easily forgave his ex and took her back.She didn't gave him a chance and didn't believe him and just Shit on him.How could he trust her the to not do samething again.

Fucking Hated this piece of Garbage.

Gave it 1 star.

If it was possible to give negatice rating people would've rated this shit in minus

Literotica should make it possible to give negative ratings to such shit.

THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! THERE ARE NO FURTHER WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS EXCREMENT.........

now that he has had his prefrontal lobotomy our hero can have a happy future eating green jello with shredded carrots

It was very far fetched, but surprisingly enjoyable. The ending was annoying because he chose to reconcile with those who betrayed him. Forgiving them was fine....but to get back together with them?

No.

To forgive was good for him. That anger will burn you up and kill you. He should ha e stuck by someone who actually cared (karen) and politely ask the rest to leave. But it is your story, you may write as you wish it to be

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

About as far out in left field as you can get. No one, and I mean NO ONE would of excepted his family back imto their lives like he did without questioning and REALLY THINKING about it.,it would of taken me years and years and years of thinking about it......really!!!