Inside and Out

"So why did you tell your mum and dad we met at the university? Why not tell them the truth?"

"There was no need to give them any more information than they needed. I'm not ashamed of you; it was easier, that's all."

"So you'll have no worries about me telling them who I am."

"No! I mean I'd rather you didn't, but that doesn't mean..."

"I think it does Maria. In another place, another time, we would have been fine, but here and now I don't think so. Your husband is everywhere, I feel it and I know you do. Hell, I even look like him."

"I'm sorry I've been reluctant to tell everyone the whole story, but I'm not ashamed of you. I wanted to give them more time to get to know you first."

Tears filled her eyes, and she fought hard to stop them flowing as she tried to counter his argument

"Please don't do this Paul. We can make it work; I know we can. Give us a chance."

"I've been trying Maria, but I'm coming between you and your family. Andrea looks at me like I'm something unpleasant that she's found on her shoe. She's already decided to tell her grandparents who I am. You've already lost so much because of me. I can't let you lose the rest of your family."

She couldn't hold back the tears any longer and Paul went to comfort her.

"But I love you. Does that count for nothing?"

Paul wiped the tears from her eyes then took both of her hands in his.

"It counts for almost everything, but there are two people you will always love more than me. That's as it should be and I accept that. What I can't accept is your love for me turning to hate if I become the reason you don't see your grandchildren."

"You're over thinking this. It may never come to that. Andrea will come around, I know she will."

"And if she doesn't?"

"She will."

"Maria, I love you and this is breaking my heart, but it will hurt more if we leave it longer. I've been offered a job, a secondment from the university, and I'm going to take it. At the start of the Easter break, I'm flying out to Switzerland. I'm going to CERN to work on the control system for the Hadron Collider. It's a big opportunity; I'll be gone for three years."

"Three years? You'll forget all about me in that time."

"Maria Lancaster, I could never forget you. You will always be the yardstick that other women will have to measure up to. I only hope that in three years people here will have forgotten all about me."

A car horn sounded outside, and they looked out to see a taxi waiting at the kerb.

"That will be for me; I called a cab this morning."

"But I was going to drive you to the station."

"It's better this way."

Paul picked up his case, and they walked to the front door. Maria's tears were flowing freely as Paul turned to her for the last time.

"I'll arrange for Alan to be allocated a new tutor." He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Now you forget all about Paul Robertson. Make a new life for yourself with a man who deserves you."

"I don't want to forget you, "she said and hugged him as tightly as she could.

The driver got out of the car and opened the boot for Paul's suitcase. Paul pulled her arms away gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and walked to the car.

"Station is it sir?"

Paul nodded. Maria was still watching from the door as the car moved off.

"Little Lady doesn't want you to go back to work then?" The cabby asked by way of making conversation.

"Something like that."

"Yeah I see 'em all in this job. Some wives act like they can't wait for their old man to get out of the house. For others, like your missus, you'd think they were never going to see you again."

*****

It was the first week of November and Zurich was already cold. Paul paced up and down in the airport arrivals lounge. The electronic notice board had already announced the arrival of the flight from Stansted. Now he was waiting for the first stream of passengers to come through. It was quiet this time of year, the summer tourists had gone and it would be a couple of months before the winter sports crowd arrived. A few businessmen walked through, followed by a group of young girls. Paul had no trouble spotting his visitor. There, behind the girls, walked a giant of a man pushing a trolley well laden with luggage. Their eyes met and big man's face lit up in a huge grin.

"Prof man, how the hell are you?"

"I'm fine Geordie, how about you."

"Champion, man, just champion. I'm having a bit of trouble with being called Joseph Armstrong again. Who'd have thought this though eh? A year ago I couldn't take a piss without permission and now I can get on a plane and go anywhere I like."

"How long do you plan on staying?"

"A month, two if you'll have me. Not much work in the building trade in the winter like."

"You can stay as long as you like. I've rented a house in a village called St Martin just the other side of the border. Huge place but it was cheap. So far, I've only managed to furnish two of the bedrooms."

Paul looked at all the luggage.

"You don't travel light, do you? I never knew you had that much stuff."

Geordie followed his gaze and laughed.

"That's not all mine, man. I've just got the little one. I'm carrying the rest for a friend like."

"He always was the perfect gentleman," said the voice from somewhere behind Geordie. It was a voice Paul knew well. He stepped aside as Maria joined them.

"What's the matter, Paul, aren't you pleased to see me?"

"Well of course I am. I'm just a bit shocked, that's all. We decided..."

"No! You decided. You also said that in another place and time we could have made it work. This is another place, and it's another time, so how about it?"

"How long are you here for."

"If you'll let me stay, I'm here for good. If not, I'm going to look stupid. I've quit my job and sold the house so this is it. I'm yours one hundred per cent."

"What about Andrea?"

"Alan has convinced her that daddy wasn't the knight in shining armour she imagined. She apologised for being a selfish bitch. If you've got the room maybe they can both come out for Christmas."

"What about your parents?"

"They know everything. They want me to be happy. Before you ask, I've also told Will's parents, but I'm afraid they didn't take it so well."

"I don't know what to say. I've only got two bedrooms ready."

"How many do we need?"

Geordie stood grinning at them.

"Prof man, for a clever bloke you can be right thick sometimes. Why don't you kiss the girl and let's go home."

Paul didn't need telling twice. As they parted Maria looked into his eyes.

"Does that mean I can stay?"

"It means I'd love you to stay. Neither of us has any history here, maybe we can make it. I'd like to give it a try."

"And the children can come out for Christmas?"

"As long as they can accept me for who I am. It will be easier now that we'll be in our own house."

As Geordie pushed the luggage trolley they moved towards the exit. Maria grabbed Pauls arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Our own house. I like the sound of that."