All Comments on 'It's Just a Game'

You should read what i wrote,i never mentioned your name,i said some authors

Bitte genau lesen was geschrieben wird stev

You didnt explain it in the what could have been a good story, why would they spend the week together having fun and not know each others name?

Did the women all wait for the end of the week to find out they wouldnt get to fuck Mario? How did they feel about Annette then?

loved it could have had more details about the divorce but......4* PLEASE any on know what happen to Marriage on Tightrope ???? thanks

yes you should have put in the final confrontation betweeb frank and Annette its abit empty with out

As your readers we need to hear what her excuse was what she said his emotional condition about being drugged please finish this story from her point of view then if need be

He DID marry Lisa! Read the end again!

@dyonysos - Yes you DID say "some" authors, but since it was in a comment on a story by stev2244, he was well within his rights to take it personally!

With that in mind it probably would have been better to make the characters of Annette and Lisa more identifiable as soon to be ex and Lisa as potential new squeeze. Yes that makes the twist harder to pull off but if you are going to have the twist it needs to be very obvious at the time all is revealed.

I was fully aware that this story would lose a lot of overall score because many readers wouldn´t get the ending. Or at least they would vote before they got it. But I still refuse to write for the score. I like the story as it is. Some of the comments were hilarious and that made it well worth it. Part of my motivation to start writing on this site was that a few stories didn´t turn out like I wanted them to. So if someone doesn´t like mine - go ahead, start to write. Giving me advice how to modify this story is useless, it is already published. And the next one (if I submit more) will certainly be completely different.

Sorry, I think you're wrong. I'm pretty sure most people got the ending, they just didn't like it. They felt cheated out of resolution.

I am a big fan of this author. That said, I'm not a big fan of twists. Plenty of authors use them (Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" or Ambrose Bierce's "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" spring to mind), I would rather have a straightforward narrative with a resolution. People like different things, and many people who commented seem not to care all that much for twists.

If a twist is too obvious, it's not a twist!

How many time do we see comments like, "I saw the twist coming a mile away!"?

It's a Catch-22, so in the immortal words of Rick Nelson's "Garden Party", "you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself!"

Its a small world. I was just talking about " An occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge " with someone just last week.

Now that's a twist ending ! One of my favorite short stories ever.

There was a movie made in the early 90's called " Jacobs Ladder " that is basically the same plot , just longer and a different era.

I also recently read a story in non-erotic that I thought was a tip of the hat to Mr. Bierce's masterpiece. Think it was by Paperbackwriter

Was it his current wife lisa or his now x wife annette. Jusy wondering. Sure would like a part 2 to clear somethings up Good story.

Yes, very underrated author, Mr. Bierce. I assign that story every year in American Lit. Love his stories of the macabre. R

His new wife Lisa definitely did NOT sleep with Mario, she doesn't even know him, and only knows any members of the group as the ones who hired her for this "job".

His ex, SAYS she didn't we don't know and we don't care! She was gone for three reasons even without sleeping with Mario:

1) Being part of this ridiculous plan.

2) Offering herself to at least two of the other husbands, even if they didn't choose her.

3) Drugging and kidnapping him!

to figure out what was going on. A lot brighter minds than I possess. Not trying to be all that critical and I don't think that spoilers are necessary but I got confused. I guess a couple (maybe a half dozen) of TIA's do that to you over time.

All I know is that i would not "buy" another story from this author based on the confusion i, and apparently others, felt.

Admittedly I was drawn into reading this story by the comments and steve2244 does a remarkable job thinking in german and writing in english but most of his stuff is way too RAAC for me and confuses pathological codependence for "love" on the part of the protagonists. Of course, that's my opinion and probably not worth the price of a cup of coffee.

Steve2244 keep on writing. Thanks for this contribution

in the same way a twist may not work if explanation is necessary.

The joke can be reworked to make it funny. The same is true of the twist.

Sbrooks, you've been doing a lot of explaining (with the best of intentions)

A bunch of housewives concoct a ridiculous plot to fuck a male stripper. Our hero protagonist refuses to go along with their completely implausible and absurdly unrealistic plan, so they DRUG HIM and leave him in an abandoned forest with a call girl.

...and you all are arguing over whether or not the "twist" at the end was executed well enough? Seriously??

It's not exactly a "twist" when nearly every BTB story ends with heroic hubby ending up happily-ever-after with the only woman in the story who had half a brain.

There are a series of surprising jumps and all of them interesting. I have to admit that I never would have met Lisa since the moment I had heard she was offering herself to the other husbands (Even though she was unlucky), I would have been out of there and asking for a divorce. Van1 wrote an appreciation that I agree with entirely. Vielen Danken

Of course Annette didn't fuck Mario, his fetish is cuckolding husbands and a separated soon to be divorced woman doesn't make the cut for that.

Lisa isn't part of the game with Mario.

like most commenters, i am torn.

this story was excellent; imaginative and entertaining: "five stars."

this story did not solve world hunger: "how dare you post this?!"

What if he and Lisa had become worried and left the hut on foot on a narrow trail and the wives had found the hut empty and panicked and tried to find them?

Or it might have been nice for him to get revenge on Mario and the idiots wives?

Even so, it was a good story which I enjoyed reading.

Well done!! Just look at all the confusing and contradictory comments.

I'll admit, I would have liked a slightly, but only slightly longer ending. Some comment like 'The Game resulted in three divorces and . . . .etc.' On the other hand, that might have taken from what I thought was a satisfying ultra-quick resolution.

For those who get upset with how Stev stretches things . . . Frankly, for me that's part of the fun. How far can one betray (or be betrayed) and still find redemption? Or, how unlikely a situation can we get our characters into and out of? You want only completely realistic (boring) stories that happen everywhere everyday? . . . This isn't the place for you.

Further, Stev never humiliates the betrayers. Usually their guilt and remorse is satisfactory punishment, as it would be for any decent person who understands true love (of course, this will never be sufficient punishment for revenge-seeking misogynistic readers though). His characters, especially betrayers, usually grow during the course of the story (something which draws great vitriol from those incapable of change and growth themselves). Stev blames the betrayers far more than their temporary lovers or affair partners . . . which I fell is actually MORE in touch with reality than many stories here. The affair partner isn't the real problem, even if a seducer/seductress . . . it's the one who falls for them. And those few of you who feel bad things because Lisa was once a sex worker . . . get a grip!! This isn't the 19th century!!

Hey Stev, You wanna' really screw with everybody now . . . Tell everyone that your use of Lisa's name at the end WAS indeed a typo . . . you actually meant to say 'Angela'. When anyone asks you how that's possible . . . simply explain that while Frank was divorcing Annette, Angela's husband announced they now had an open marriage. Angela couldn't stand this, and divorced him. Now realizing with great horror what evils 'the Game' had wrought, Angela is filled with guilt and remorse. She writes beautiful letters of apology to everyone. The letter to Frank encourages him to try and get back with Annette. Frank says he can't do that, but agrees to meet with her to discuss it. They fall in love and marry. So there!!! You really meant to say 'Angela' . . . and now we've really stretched things.

Oh and finally, for the BTB'ers, one final great stretch . . . Anette was so upset with what she'd done, she started studying witchcraft. She became so good at it, that she cast a spell that caused the penises and clitorises of all cheaters all over the world to fall off, essentially destroying any future sexual pleasures for them, and also any chance for any good BTB or RAAC stories in the future.

@c24j, Mattblack and others - go ahead if you want to, as long as you refer to the original, write modified stories, different endings, sequels, different pov, whatever. Should be entertaining. Thanks for all the comments, by the way.

Thanks for allowing others on a follow up stories.

re:

Reality?

You really have to buy into the obsession of the gang of wives for this to work. That means that you need to accept that they are dumber than hell, self destructive, delusional, and totally lacking in pride and self esteem, individually and as a group. Once you grasp that "truth", the rest makes sense. It isn't easy for every reader to suspend that much disbelief. For me, this seems more likely than vampires and werewolves, which are very popular these days. It is more likely than Harry Potter and the amazing shit he pulls, and we all know how well those stories did.

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If you know going in that there are werewolves, vampires, wizards etc. in the story then you expect them and accept the world that has them in it if you read it.

Those kinds of stories are actually easier to 'suspend disbelief' than a story about a married couple in a non-fantasy world, because you expect things to work like the real world in a story about real world type things.

Stories where someone drugs, kidnaps, and/or illegally restrains someone and faces no consequences - even stays married to them - are much harder to accept.

Now if the elves in a story are described as looking and acting like ogres instead of looking and acting like elves then the suspension of disbelief goes out the window.

,,,DO WE KNOW SHE DIDN'T!

Amazing story. *****. One thing only: the confrontation requested from many commenters happened 3 time during the narration: the first with the wife, the second with the three hotties and the last with Angela.

Great story. Fortunately for me, I did not cheat and peak at the ending. So I enjoyed the plot twist. For future stories, here are my nitpicks:

(1) If Frank was out of Annette's league, according to Lisa, who was much prettier, how did she settle for Frank? You could have had her say that "looks really aren't everything, and actually are much less important than most people think."

(2)Frank confronted Angela with Mario's cuckold motivation, but why then not his wife?

(3)What was Lisa's university major? You could have had it play into Frank's job or education so that they had some great conversations during the week to build the basis for their connection.

Don't remember how many couples and not going back to figure it out. Think it was 5. For the sake of argument we'll use that number. So the premise is: Her husband gets a sex night with 3 of the other wives. Or one or two. But the total is three times. In exchange she gets a night with Mario. EXCEPT. She is part of the "other" wives group. So in reality she would also have a night with zero or possibly all of the other husbands. Could be zero or could have been 12 times plus the one with Mario for a total of possibly 13 times. (ok. two "other" hubbies have already left her "out") So she's down for 1 and / or 7. I'm sure that works. Not just a "one" time cheater but multiple times. Stupid woman stupid wife. Kind of surprised the possibilities were not brought up by hubby as an argument.

Now she's divorced. Really do wish you could get in her head while she's sitting at home crying over what she gave up in a sequel part 2. How many other divorces among the other couples? Then finally Mario needs to meet an appropriate end for sticking his cock where it doesn't belong.

If he wrote the divorce, and the annihalation of the stripper. Maybe a nice sharpshooter would have been even better. He could have said no with a bang.

That's quite the typo at the end with Annette's name change.

I'm still not clear I wonder if the wife had that night with Mario during the week he was with the woman thinking he would not resist the temptation.

I believe that many readers are not going to get the ending because (a) except for one word Lisa rather than Annette one would think that the husband got over her deception; (b) no real confrontation with Annette over her actions; and (c) no real character development of the couple. We have a wife who conspired with her friends to force her husband to agree to a deal where she would have to fuck any of the other husbands in the group - remember every husband had 3 fucks for the one with Mario.

There are eight husbands so excluding Frank, Tom and Paul there were 15 chances Annette would have to fuck another husband. So if Frank went along with the deal Annette would have to fuck at least one husband just to get a fuck with Mario.

So readers could view one ending with Frank and Annette together given a typo or another ending (which I believe you intended) where Frank replaced Annette with Lisa. A second story from Annette's POV would be great to explore the aftermath of her actions.

Just to clarify that - the name change is not a typo.

I would have been disappointed if it was not Lisa

Neither the category name or description ever says it is the husbands _first_ wife that is the one that loves him.

But if my wife came to me with this pile of shit I would punch her lights out, kicked her in the cunt then divorced the worthless lowlife fucking whore.

Horrible story

This story and it's ending makes no sense to me! What is the point???

bill

Divorcing a wife that plays this kind of games is the only possible response. And he did. I can't be the only one to notice that the call girl named herself Lisa and his wife was called Lisa as well in the end.

What the heck happened? We know he divorced his wife and married the call girl Lisa (strange choice that). But did he send his wife to jail and take everything? After all she and probably Angela were guilty of drugging and kidnapping him. That's big jail time. Did he get some type of revenge on Mario? Did his wife really not fuck Mario or any of the other husbands? WAY too many unanswered questions spoiled the entire story.

You keep making no sense in your stories. I don't know if German people see the world and especially love and sex different than the rest of the world. But honestly your story and especially the ending makes no sense at all.

you always put the husband into the worst case cheating scenario and then you magically try to change things byt the power of will. I need at least another chapter to understand why on Earth did he forgive the cheating slut. She cheated in her mind and even drugged him and placed him with a hooker. No love but only disrespect here. So this is the most stupid RAAC I've ever read so far.

He DID NOT TAKE WIFE ANGELA BACK

HE MARRIED LISA THE ESCORT

Put this in non-erotic, doesn't belong in a sex story category, NOTHING happens.

Bad accusation for a story to have against it. I really don't care that Frank white-knighted his way through the circumstances, good for him, but this is in fact porn, not the heroic tale of "insert random name". You could at LEAST have had Annette and Frank fuck in front of the gaggle/ cadre of weirdos, just to say you'll never have this. I didn't understand the point of building up the lead bitch who said she'd get her way regardless, only to whimper her out without any resolution. I figured she'd rape Frank to be honest. And having Annette not fuck the dude.....I don't know.

There was a more interesting story here that was avoided to write about boring, noble, no depth Frank. People like Game of Thrones because bad things happen to good people, and that in turn reinforces our need to be good, to rally against what we see (in fiction as representation of life). Having it spoon fed just feels lame and Amish, gersh dernitt, ah did the raight thang, hooray fer me and ma wafe.

Write what you want, how you want, but put it in the right category

The idiot below me has no idea what he's talking about.

Bummer🙈

Great ending

Finally, this author brings some originality to a story. Since the majority of his writings are the ultimate in RAAC it is refreshing to read a story where the cheating wife gets dumped and an appreciative woman finds a noble man for a happy ending.

Yes, his first wife cheated. She had every intent of fucking Mario only lack of opportunity prevented the act.

As to the kidnapping device to force the husband's infidelity, that's pretty lame.

Lastly, the author states that English is his second language. I commend his writing skills and command of the English idioms. If he weren't so fanatical for RAAC in most of his stories, I think he would be a much more effective, respected and popular author.

too bad you didn't tell us what happened when they got out of there would of liked more of thr story thanks

This only gets a *2 because it's fairly well edited and the writer has a little bit of story telling talent. However he has no grasp on reality at all !!

So let me get this straight.

The wife openly wants to cuckold the husband, he refuses, she drugs him and has him kidnapped, then tells him she didn't fuck the dancer and he's OK with everything.

Complete Utter Silly Bullshit !!

Well, he obviously wasn't completely okay. He divorced her and married Lisa, right? Were you another who fell into the trap of not reading carefully?

As written, Mario wins!!! He wanted to break up the marriage, and he succeeded!!! He didn't even have to sleep with the silly wife to do it !!

I realize Frank ends up with a better woman, but Mario now knows he's so sexually powerful, he can get wives to drug their husbands for him (risking the potential of an overdose or allergic reaction). In the contest between Frank and Mario, Mario kicked butt, with things working out even better than he'd hoped.

Stev2244 cleverly turns the psychopathic, arrogant, home-wrecking, cheater into the big winner in this one! I got so involved in the ending, I'd missed that until my recent second reading.

He talks to her about everything under the sun, but it took them a week to exchange names? Odd.

The setup was great, but skipping the actual consequences (the divorce and something bad happening to the dancer) was like eating a jelly donut and discovering that the bakery left out the filling.

I liked the twist at the end. What really makes this story work for me are the number of 'cuck shit' crazies who miss the point and go nuts. That's elegant. It's why the story must skip the aftermath and go straight to the misdirection. Thanks, stev.

but you always lack the ending. All your stories endings are just kind if skimmed over heavily. No sex scenes, insanely stupid plots, endings that are skimmed over heavily. Your stories are wack man, but still kind of interesting. 1 star and I will still continue to read the rest of your stories.

It is obvious that Marco has won. Anette will have had her time with Marco. The escort? Is she one of the wives hubby knows nothing about? How will they get him to the party. There needs to be a better ending as the current one seems to be rushed

Good story with potential

Thanks

Meh...all that, then a rushed ending 1*

There really no closure between Frank and his ex-wife, the story seem to be lacking without it. I agree Frank is better off with someone else, but it would have been nice for Annette to realize that she gave up her husband for "Fool's Gold." (Great story by another writer.)

I like the story and the ending. The only question I have: why do the wives in all these LW stories seem to be so stupid?

In real life, I would say she assumed her hubby fucked that young girl so that was her way to justify fucking that loser. Either way, that was a very poor ending. He should have went to the cops and had them all arrested for kidnapping and drugging him.

...as soon as escort was “introduced” the ending was obvious. But, it’s a good BTB. The end could use a little more fleshing out to perfect the story. What/how was Annette treated? Did Mario fuck all the women? Did Frank inform the other husbands in regards to Mario’s intentions/purpose? Etc.

But all in all a good flash story.

Author is a master of wimp husband characters and doesnt what Btb is.

Mario should have been confronted and the cops called. He could have Annette to stop seeing the coven of sluts.

Horrid cop-out of a paragraph. (Thanks for a the beginning, keep that stuff coming)

"It's Sunday morning, my mood is relaxed after a very pleasant night of making love to my wife. The unfortunate events connected to this silly game are mostly forgotten by now. It was a hare-brained idea from the beginning, Annette clearly saw the errors in her ways and I have to say I'm completely over it. Yes, I can honestly say that I have completely forgiven her. It wasn't easy, but I had external help and I'm looking back on it without holding a grudge. It sure helped that she never actually had sex with this Mario guy. Hey, more than often I even have to smile when I think about it. In the end, it didn't harm me at all and I think my marriage is even better now. A lot better, actually."

One of the weakest, unfleshed-out, doesn't-fit-the-start-of-the-story endings ever.

FTDS one star

And also not dealing with the cabal of vipers. Not the fact that the guy got rid of a stupid and uncaring wife.

... and she didn’t sleep with Mario, why didn’t she drive up herself to rescue Frank before the week was up? “My anxious looking wife literal ran up...arms outstretched...” makes it sound like she was already regretting all this. If she wanted “it” to happen she would have ‘run up expectantly’, i.e. the meaning “anxious” as “bad”.

This is a little sophomoric writing trick, which seems out of place compared to the rest of the writing.

Still, I liked the story for a solid 4-stars

The husband and she get divorced, so what happened? Why wouldn't she have sex with Mario since the marriage clearly went down the toilet.

fucking way. I call the cops, they all go to jail for drugging me. Especially my wife.

Your fifteen hours was awesome. The three or four others I've read have been farts at a funeral. I'm curious now. I'm going to read the rest out of curiosity.

reading the comments pointed out to me that I missed the ending entirely. Good for you for having him dump her.

Again, would have been a short and boring story had I written it. "You want to have sex with this stripper? You should go ahead and do it. If you do or you don't, either way I'm divorcing you. Have a good life."

Annette didn't have sex with Mario because, as an unmarried woman, she was no longer attractive to him.

The husband comes off as too idiotic to live.

"It sure helped that she never actually had sex with this Mario guy." Really? There is no universe in which anyone goes to these lengths unless she's already done the crime and is desperately trying to balance the books.

Probably the best Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold husband ever written. Is it true, writers only write what they know about.

You saved him in the last sentence which flipped the story on its head

RePhilled with the double whammy in irony.

Loved how you flipped the end...

Friggin stupid all the way to and including the ending, which sucked!

closet cuckolds "to stupid to breath"

How would the wife know that he did or didn't have sex with the escort? And if he didn't have sex with the girl, why wait a week to pick them up? The "Game" was over by that point so why keep them there?

And why no mention of drugging and kidnapping? It could've been mentioned that for favorable terms in the divorce he wouldn't go to the police and get how many women and possibly husbands involved.

It took a week for them to exchange names?

The author jump several needed items in this story to get to the finish and ended up with a lesser story because of it.

Incomplete

Can you spell L-A-W-S-U-I-T?

A lot of time creating a great story that fell apart with the ending. The last few chapters ruined the story. I enjoy this writers stories, but the ending seemed rushed.

Great that he ditched his first wife for the hot escort.

I gave it a 4. To be a 5 their needed to be painful retribution to first wife's freinds.

Why no payback against Angela and the other stupid women and why not rub their husbands faces in it.

ending too rushed. deserves a rewrite to draw out the ending

He divorced a handful of whores to marry another one. Not such a good exchange. Just a story, but a weak one.

And left with an escort would have killed the marriage. I think the 72 hr rule would apply here. 72 hours after the return from the woods and she would have been homeless and single. No ifs ands or buts. Her ass would have been bounced to the curb on the third day. Of course after the locks were/changed and all of my money was removed from her access or any legal reach. It's impossible to freeze, garnish or split cash. What cash? No trust, no respect, no marriage. She would have been the same concern. Your alive, your healthy, your free good luck and GOOD RIDDIANCE!

Wow, no way that marriage would ever stay together. The wife wants to bone a stripper and for him to fuck her friends? She must be some kind of stupid. Then she drugs him... and he's OK with it? Weak! Dump her and torch her friends for doing that, this one deserves a rewrite (just my humble opinion).

Reread the end. He dumped his wife and married Lisa, the /studentescort!

When his wife ran up to him "...her arms outstretched expectantly", clearly he held his hand up to stop her...

When she looked confused and a bit shocked, he then went on to explain why he was going to divorce her.

How he HAD loved her but her getting fucked by Mario was so important that she ignored her husband's desires and even drugged him to effectively FORCE him to act so she could do it.

They're all lucky he didn't press charges though it would have been hard to prove.

really dumb story.

With another weak as fuck story. This is the only one I've seen that hasn't led to the man losing his balls and taking the cunt back. Still a gutless fucking tale, though, not enjoyable at all. Just scanned through and gave it the much expected 1*

Excellent story and well worth 5* as I didn’t see the end coming. Well done!

Had to reread story . bit confusing but yes dumped wife good story

"After this discussion, if I ever hear another word of you, or that you've spoken another word to my wife, then whatever else happens, a few years down the line, you'll one fine day be parking your car, and get a bullet to the back of your head, as will any family you're traveling with."

is a bad ass. He won't even post his name or email so we can write the fag fool!

I would offer:

Generally escorts/prostitutes would not give their real name to their encounters - it's not safe. If, at the end, there was continued interest in a less monetarily driven relationship (not likely!) then real names might be exchanged.

My experience in England, and impression I got from travelling around Europe a little bit, was that prostitution was considered not such a "bridge too far" - and so this attitude might drift into fiction from those areas. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do... and trophy wives are everywhere, and apparently accepted by the moralists.

Many authors here have played with "how much of an offense is unacceptable?", this story might be a bit of "how little of an offense is unacceptable?".

Green-something

(and with great effort I avoid the obvious inflammatory reference...)