Know Thyself Ch. 03

"Wendy?"

She turns and looks at me.

I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Please don't make this goodbye."

She smiles. I can't tell if there's any tears on her end. It's dark and my vision is blurry through the tears. "Don't you know already?"

I shake my head.

"I can never say goodbye to you." She smiles and puts her hand on her heart. Then she turns and walks away. I watch her until she's completely out of view. I get up and walk back into the party. I don't want to be around these people anymore but I need another drink. I guess I should say, I don't need anther drink but I want one. I pour another cup of whisky and take a swig. Suddenly Matt is by my side.

"Ashee?" He slurs his speech and I can see he's way past it by now.

I look at him, trying to focus.

"This might be last time I ev see you." He swallows.

God I forgot how these stupid high school graduation parties go.

"I need tell you something bifore you go," he continues.

I look at him. "What?"

He leans in and kisses me. It takes me off guard but I don't pull away. I can hear a couple people cheer around us. His hands are on both sides of my head and he finally lets go. He looks at me, trying to gauge what my reaction is.

I take another drink, downing the rest of the whisky. I look at him, his sweet puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't say hi when I came in."

"It's okay."

I don't know why, maybe it's the Jack Daniels, but I lean in and kiss him back. We embrace for what feels like forever and finally let go.

It's at that point I notice the red and blue flashing lights. They seem to be coming from everywhere but when I finally try to focus I realize they're coming from the front door.

I'm about to say something but before I can, everything goes dark.

*************

Pain. That's the only thing I feel.

Thirst. I can feel that too. I'm incredibly thirsty. I look to my side and notice a glass of water sitting on the table next to me.

Oh thank God!

I reach over and down the entire glass, streams of water falling down the sides of my face and onto my pillow.

Where am I?

I look around but don't recognize anything. On one wall is a Brooklyn Nets poster. I don't remember that being in my room. I sit up and see I'm still in my clothes from the night before. The bottom of my blue dress is crumpled up around my waist, my bare legs out in the open. I can see my heels on the floor in the middle of the room. Other than that, I don't recognize anything.

Where am I?

Did I go home with someone? Oh my God! Please no. I don't remember anything. I shouldn't have gone back into the party after Wendy left.

The door opens and Matt is standing there.

"You're up," he says.

Oh my God, I went home with Scooby-Doo. Did I sleep with him? I scoot up in the bed and try to cover my legs. I don't know why, I'm fully clothed, but for some reason I feel naked.

This gives him alarm. "Are you okay?"

"Where am I?"

"My room," he says.

"How did I get here?"

"I brought you here. The police showed up last night and everyone made a run for it. I grabbed a taxi and got us out of there. I don't know where you live so I brought you here.

"My address is on my ID."

He nods. "Yeah, I didn't think of that. I'm sorry."

"Did we have sex?"

That question really takes him off guard. "No!" It's almost a squeak. A pitch resembling my own. "No. I slept on the couch."

I nod. That was nice of him. He didn't have to give me his bed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. My mom made breakfast if you're hungry."

Shit. His mom knows I'm here? I nod because really I'm starving and there's no amount of pride that will prevent me from having food right now.

I stumble out of the room. At least I'm no longer wearing those heels. I have no idea how I walked in those things after blacking out. As far as I'm concerned, girls are superheroes for putting up with those things. I make my way to the living room and his mom is standing there, shoveling eggs onto a plate.

"There she is." She's a short and skinny woman with black hair. She has a smirk and I can tell she's probably a smart ass. "You look as bad as he does."

I look at Matt and I doubt it. He does not look nearly as bad as I feel. I sit at the table in front of a beautiful plate of eggs and toast. His mom walks into the kitchen area and Matt sits across he table from me.

His mom comes out with a glass of water and two pills.

"Tylenol. You look like you could use some right now." She has a knowing smile on her face.

I take both and down the pills with water. "Thank you."

She takes a seat at the table and we all dig in.

"Must've been a good party," his mom says.

"It was fine, mom." Matt sounds embarrassed but for what I don't know.

"I remember those days. That's what I love about living in this city. Your kids can go out and have fun and take a taxi or a subway home. You don't have to worry about anyone drinking and driving." She looks at me now. "I grew up in Ohio and let me tell you, it's amazing I'm still alive when I think about the dumb things I did."

I smile and continue eating.

"It was nice of Matt to bring you back here. Sounds like there was some trouble."

I almost choke on a piece of toast but push it down. I look at Matt. "Yes! Thank you. I can't believe you did that for me."

He looks down at his eggs. "Well, you were a little out of it. I couldn't just leave you there."

I glance at his mom. She's beaming, a knowing smile on her face. "What a chivalrous young man I've raised."

"Mom," he protests.

"No, she's right," I say. "Thank you. That was really nice of you."

He looks at me and smiles, his cheeks going a little red. "Don't mention it."

We continue eating in silence. Finally his mom cuts in.

"Matt tells me you're going to Hunter?"

She sounds like my dad. I nod.

"So you two will still be close."

I look at her like I don't understand.

"He's going to NYU. You're both staying in the city."

"Oh, yes, that's right." I look at him. "Yeah, I guess we will be." I smile at him and he smiles back.

The three of us finish our breakfast and his mom starts to clear the plates.

"I should get going," I say. "I should get home before my parents flip out."

"Yeah, of course," Matt says.

"Thank you for taking care of me last night. That was really nice of you."

He smiles down at his feet. "You're welcome."

I walk back to the bedroom and grab my heels and put them on. I grab my purse off the night stand and make my way back to the living room.

Matt and I stand at the front door, his mom doing dishes in the kitchen a couple feet away. I call out to her. "Thank you for breakfast."

"Oh any time," she says back.

I look to Matt. "Well, I should get going."

He nods. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay."

We stare at teach other a moment. I nod and turn around for the front door. As I do, I see his mom shoot him a look I don't really understand.

I hear him clear his throat. "Um, Ashley?"

I turn back around. "Yeah?"

He looks down at his feet again. "Would you like to maybe see like a movie or something sometime? You know, if you're free or anything."

I smile at him. I realize I really mean what I'm about to say. "Yeah, I'd love to."

He looks up at me, a look of relief and joy. "Great. Can I um...have your number? I'll text you and we can make plans."

"Yeah, sure." He scrambles in his hung-over stupor for his phone. His mom clears her throat and I see her holding it out to him. I give him my number and he copies it into his phone.

"Cool," he says.

"Yeah, cool," I say.

"Okay, well, talk to you soon."

"Yeah, you too."

I walk out into the hallway and make my way down the stairs. When I'm outside the building I stop and look up at the sky. It's a clear bright morning. My head hurts, my mouth is dry, and I'm about to make my first walk of shame in my new body, and you know what? I don't mind. I have an unexpected spring in my step.

Maybe not every boy in Ashley's life is a complete asshole. I have a date. The first date someone has officially asked me out on. He seems nice.

I think of my conversation with Wendy last night. Maybe I didn't completely lose her. She just needs time. I'm sure I'll hear from her again, when she's ready.

I guess this is what I wanted. A clean slate. Well maybe not a completely clean slate. Sometime this week I have a date with Scooby-Doo, Mr. Matt Whatever-his-last-name-is. I'm sure Facebook can give me that information. It hasn't failed me yet.

I think I'm going to be okay.

I hold my head high and begin my walk of shame with pride.

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