Kristen's Awakening

"The room got deadly quite, she just sat there, holding the pen in her hand, yet not writing. The thumping noises I was hearing, was my heart beating in my chest. I kept rubbing my sweaty palms back and forth over my knees, trying to dry them. I began to feel I just made the biggest mistake in my life, screwing up everything over a feeling I was totally unsure about in the first place. After what seemed like an eternity, Maggie laid the pen down, laced her fingers together in front of her, while leaning back in her chair, she asked, what brought all this on? How do you even know I might be interesting in women? More importantly, how do you know if you're even ready for something like this?"

"Composing my thoughts, I told her about seeing her kissing the woman in the parking lot of the restaurant. I told her that it wasn't a kiss you gave a sister or even the next door neighbor, but of a lover. I told her that it made me angry, not kissing the woman! I was angry she wasn't kissing me. I wanted to be the one in her arms. I was jealous. I also told her I had no guarantees that I was ready for this, but I did need to know if this was where I really wanted to be, and I asked her if she was willing to take a chance with me."

"I tried to explain that as far as I was concerned, it was real, and it was definitely what I wanted in my mind and heart." She leaned back in her chair, laid her hands flat on the desk and told me to be at the New Moon Restaurant at seven PM sharp. When I looked at her, she had this little grin, then added, "I also have feelings for you, but because you were a patient, and plus the fact I knew you were straight, I felt nothing could ever come of it. I am willing to give us both a chance to see where this would go."

"Well, we did meet that night, and though we started slow, it seemed we were getting together almost every other day. It was about a month or so later..."

"Do you remember the weekend Abby's parents took you up to a mountain cabin, and came back on the following Monday?"

"Yes, I remember that weekend. I think it was around that time, when I started looking at Abby a little differently. It was kind of like noticing little things, things that seem have an importance to me."

"Well, I had also planned a getaway, I checked us into a suite at the Biltmore Hotel. We had dinner served in the room, and that night we made love to each other. We stayed in the hotel until Sunday afternoon, never leaving the room once. We had all of our meals served to us in the room."

I looked over at Maggie, gave her a little smile, which made her start blushing again from head to foot. As she raised her hand to cover her face, I reached over and pulled her hand away, giving her my million dollar smile. In my heart I was very happy for my mother, but at that moment, I was also very happy for Maggie.

"A while ago, Maggie and I were taking in an Arts and Craft show, I think it was on a Saturday, when I spotted an ornament that I fell madly in love with. Even though I loved it, I didn't buy it, not knowing where to even put it if I did. Maggie knew I loved it, and when I wasn't watching, she returned to the stand and bought the ornament, took it to her jewelers and had these pennants made. It is just like the ornament, but split in half. We now wear each half, and if put together, it makes it as one. The only time I take it off, is to shower or when I sleep."

"I know, I've seen you wearing it all the time. I loved it, but had no idea it had a matching half." I told my mother.

"Anyway, Maggie and I are together and we are lovers. With you almost constantly in and out with Abby, that gave us the time to be together. Now you know pretty much the whole story. I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner and tell you, but truthfully, I had no idea how you would take it, and I didn't want to upset you or make your life difficult. Maggie always said you could handle it, but I was so fearful, I just wanted to protect my baby." As she was saying this, I saw the moisture building her eyes once more.

"Mom, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I never came to you with my problem, but instead went to Maggie. I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to confront you with my problem. My fear of your rejection was so great, I felt my world was turning upside down. I'd like us to forgive each other's indiscretions and maybe from here on out, we learn to sit down and talk to one another before jumping to conclusions."

Turning towards Maggie, "Maggie, does this mean I can now get house calls for any therapy I need in the future?"

"KRISTEN!" My mother shouted, "God, how could you ask a question like that?"

Looking at Maggie and watching her trying to control herself while in a fit of giggles, "Its ok Helen! Yes Kristen, I'd be glad to do house calls, just for you."

"Good, because diner will be at seven PM tonight, please try and not be late. Oh yeah, one more thing, let's make it a slumber party, bring your PJ's, ok?"

"Kristen, I think maybe I'm a little old for slumber parties, don't you think?"

"Maggie, you're never too old for a slumber party. Please, just this once for me!"

"Well, maybe, but I'm not making any promises. I'll see you at seven tonight, now I have work to do. I think my next appointment is waiting, and I am behind as it is."

After giving Maggie a big hug, I quickly stepped out of the office giving mom and Maggie a moment together.

My mother dropped me off at school so I could get back to my dorm room. She said that she had a client waiting for her and had to run. We got to talk a little between Maggie's office and school parking lot, which made me feel really good, not only being open and honest with my mom, but maybe for the first time, I felt comfortable who I was. Now I had to fix things with Abby, hopefully she is still talking to me.

Once back in my room, I called Abby. At first she was somewhat cold towards me, not blaming her for the way I treated her the past couple weeks. I had asked her if I could meet her at her house around six thirty so we could talk. I told her I wanted to explain to her and her family my sudden change in attitude and why I was completely ignoring her. After a little begging and pleading, she relented and said it was ok.

After driving home, I had about two and half hours before I was to be at Abby's, so I cleaned the kitchen, set the table for two with candles, and got the ice bucket ready to put mom's favorite wine in to chill. I found an Italian restaurant that delivered, and ordered a complete meal for two, and made them promise that it would be delivered by seven fifteen.

Going into my closet, I picked out a nice blouse, low cut, not to tight, but enough to extenuate my breasts. I pull out a pair of jeans, again ones that were tight enough to show off my butt and my legs. I pull out my sexiest bra and panties, a light rose' color, the bra trimmed in lace, as well as the panties. Both are shear enough, except for the lace, it's like I am wearing nothing.

As I was taking my shower, slowly rubbing the soap over my body, I began to wonder what Abby really thinks about my body. We have seen each other naked many times, changing clothes, or getting ready for bed, but did she ever really look at me. I know lately when I would see her naked, or near naked, it made me feel funny looking at her, but it also made me feel good at the same time. I started questioning myself, "is that what it feels like when you start to fall in love with someone?"

As I dried myself and started fixing my hair, I thought of all the things I wanted to say to Abby. Things I needed to say to her. I wanted her to know that it was a painfully process recognizing the fact that I truly might be a lesbian, and that I was falling in love with her. The feelings of being rejected, not only by her, but by my mother also, and the fear of being alone with no one. With about forty five minutes left until I had to leave, I need to write a letter and do some explaining to my mom and Maggie. Getting onto my computer, I wrote her a note explaining myself:

Dear Mom and Maggie, I know I kind of hinted that I would be cooking us something to eat. The fact is I ordered out and it should arrive at seven fifteen. Mom, you took Maggie to a really nice hotel and spent the weekend together to discover one another. I can't really do that with Abby, but I am doing what I think is the next best thing, I'm spending the night with her after I tell her I'm sorry for the way I treated her, and by telling her how much I love her. Maggie, I told you it was going to be a slumber party, well I kind of exaggerated the truth on that also. I am totally for you and my mother being together. It was my way of asking you to stay the night with my mom by having you bring your PJ's. If I had just said come over and spend the night with my mother, you would have never shown up in the first place. I want you to feel our home is now also your home, if you choose so. I love you both, Kristen

Having finished my note, I placed it on the table, next to the flowers I picked from the garden. I put the wine into the ice bucket with some ice and headed out the door for Abby's house. I arrived at the house around six twenty. Normally I just walk on in, but today I felt that I needed to knock and wait to be asked in. After ringing the door bell, Mickey, Abby's brother answer the door, giving me that quizzical look like, "Why didn't you just walk in like you always do?"

"Abby is in the living room, our parents are trying to decide where to eat tonight." He said.

Walking into the living room, I received my normal warm greeting from both Abby's parents, but kind of a cold hello from Abby, which everyone seemed to pick up on immediately. Abby's mother said, "Kristen, we're trying to decide between either pizza or spaghetti and then a movie, what do you think, want to join us tonight?"

"Oh no Mrs. Hart, I just finished eating a short time ago. I just came over to tell Abby some new and exciting news."

Mickey jumped up and yelled pizza, with Mr. Hart seconding the motion.

"Well I guess that settles it, pizza and a movie it is. Abby, you sure you and Kristen don't want to join us?"

"No mom, I want to stay and hear this new and exciting news Kristen suddenly has to tell me."

You could almost cut the tension that was in the air between Abby and myself. Everyone looked at me, then at Abby, and thankfully, no one said anything. I believe they thought it was just something the two of us had to work out, and it was best to let us do it alone.

"Ok gang, let's get going if we're going to make it on time for the movie after eating, I'm starved," Mrs. Hart said. "Abby, there is some lunch meat in the refrigerator if you and Kristen get hungry."

After everyone left, Abby and I just sat there for a few minutes, me looking down at my feet, slowly twisting my hands together while biting my lower lip, unsure how to start, when Abby spoke up first.

"I'm kind of hungry, why don't we go into the kitchen and make some sandwiches, I know you haven't eaten yet."

"Your right, I haven't eaten yet, you fix us a sandwich, and I'll tell you what has been going on for the past few weeks."

As we got to the kitchen, I sat at the counter, while Abby started pulling the lunch meat and fixings from the refrigerator, I started talking to her. I told her I wanted to start when I thought it all began, and that was back when we all went to the cabin in the mountains. I told her how all the sudden, she was doing small things that I noticed that seemed to suddenly make me start looking at her a little differently.

"Like what did I do?" She asked.

"It wasn't anything that you did, but it was how I felt it was different when you looked at me. It was like you just weren't looking at me, but into me, and I started doing the same, when I was looking at you. When you were making a point and would touch me on the arm or leg, how it started sending little shocks throughout my body. After we came back, I kind of chalked it up to my hormones kicking it due to my period about to start. Even after I started my period, and long after it ended, these little differences got more intense. As the weeks seem to past, I was almost to the point that whenever I was near you, all I wanted to do was to be touching you, not just our shoulders or hips touching, but it was as if I always wanted my arms wrapped around you holding you tight against me.

The nights that we would slept together, it was always in the same bed, and each night, I would cry myself to sleep for fear I might do something I would regret. There were times I would watch you undress, getting ready for bed, and I had to turn away, looking at your breasts, so soft and firm, all I wanted to do was touch them, kiss them, and suck on your nipples. One morning I woke up before you did, and as I laid there watching you sleep, I realized that I had fallen in love with you. I knew I had to get out of there right then, as I felt I could not contain myself any longer.

No longer making the sandwiches, "So why didn't you tell me back then, why did you just start freaking out on me?"

"Abby, I was scared to death. I was scared you would hate me for falling in love with you. I was scared of what you would think of me as a fucking dyke. In my mind, only lesbians fall in love with other women. I was so scared if my mother found out she too would hate me, maybe even kick me out of the house."

As I sat there telling her all this, the tears starting down my cheeks. The harder I tried to stop them, the harder they began to flow. As I sat there, my tear drops falling onto the counter, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders, turning me on the stool. As Abby's arms wrapped around me, holding me, she whispered into my ear, "Kristen, I was in love with you that night we met at the dance. I was afraid to tell you, for fear of losing your friendship as well. I told my mother how I felt about you, but decided that having you as a friend was more important than losing you by telling you of my feelings towards you. As much as we both trusted one another with our secrets, that secret itself was almost too much to bare. When you started acting weird on me, I knew I had lost you forever. I didn't know what I had done to turn you away."

"Maybe at one time, telling me would have scared me away, but after I started falling in love with you, you had no idea it was your love I was seeking. Abby, I'm still scared! You are the first person, except for my mother, I've ever had feelings for. I've never held anyone close, I never kissed anyone, I mean a real kiss. I'm scared I might even screw that up, and you'll end up hating me."

"You know my secrets, and you know that except for my family, I've never loved anyone either. I never kissed, or held anyone. We'll take this as slow as you want. We'll let each other know how we feel, and when the time is right, we'll make love."

Turning to face Abby, I took her face in my hands, leaned in and kissed her lips softly. As our lips touched, I felt a little shutter from within. Abby then kissed my tears away, then putting her hand to the back of my neck, again pressed her lips to mine. Our kiss became more intense, my breath quickened. I felt a warm glow spread from my hips to my breasts. I pulled her closer, mashing my breasts against hers. I felt her tongue pressing against my lips, seeking a way into my mouth. I parted my lips, letting her tongue begin to enter my mouth. I push my tongue to meet hers. As our tongues met, that warm glow grew hotter. I squeezed Abby tighter to me, pushing my tongue deep into her mouth, her tongue dancing with mine, as she began to suck on my tongue.

Pulling back from our kiss, our foreheads resting on one another, both of us panting to catch our breath, "Abby, make love to me. I want to touch all over your body. I want you to touch me, I want us to teach each other how to make love to one another.

"Kristen, since I met you, I've waited for this moment. I can't tell you the nights I lay in my bed, caressing myself, imagining it was you. If you feel you're ready, I want this to be our time."

"Pour us something to drink and we'll take these sandwiches to the bedroom. I don't think we'll be leaving it anytime soon."

As we walked into the bedroom, I felt totally at ease. I was scared I might do something ass backwards, but I wanted this, so much. Abby turned to me, saying, "let me go and wash up first."

"No, you are as I always known you. I want to be the one to undress you. I want to see you naked again, but this time with a different set of eyes and a much different perspective.

Holding her face in my hands, with her hands on top of mine, I kissed her lips softly, kissing her cheeks, then her forehead, eyes, and back to her lips. While kissing her lips, I dropped my hands to the hem of her t-shirt, slowly starting to pull it up, my fingers touching her skin as I slowly raised it up. When I got to her bra, I pulled the shirt up and over her breasts, then forcing her arms up over her head, so that I might finally remove the shirt. Letting the shirt fall to the floor, I traced my fingers up her arms, across her shoulders to her neck. Again, I kissed her lips as my fingers went to her bra straps, following them down until I felt the cups of her bra. Lightly I traced around each cup, until my hands were completely covering each breast.

Abby gave a low moan, letting me know how it felt for her. I leaned in, giving sweet kisses to her neck. Abby raised her chin, making her neck more accessible to my light kisses and nibbles. Kissing across her chest just above her breasts, again she moaned, but this time a little louder. I slowly pulled each strap down over her shoulder, then kissing the skin that was underneath the straps, I reached behind her, undoing the clasp, letting the bra fall free, exposing her breasts to me. I pulled her bra free and dropped it to the floor along with her shirt. I gently touched each breast with my fingertips, laying the palms of my hands on the top of her breasts, feeling her nipples becoming rock hard in my hands.

Caressing each breast with my thumbs, I kissed the top of each breast, going from one to the other, then wetting my lips, I brushed lightly over the nipple, one, than the other. Abby moaned again and placed her hand to the back of my neck pulling me in. I glanced up, her eyes shut tightly, biting her lower lip, she forced my mouth onto her right nipple. I opened my mouth, sucking on her harden nipple. I felt Abby sucking in her breath as I sucked on her nipple. As I have pinched my nipples occasionally, I lightly bit down on her hard nipple, again extracting a loud moan from her throat. I switched to her left breast, doing the same to that one, sucking, lightly biting on the nipple. Her breathing began to become erratic, her moaning almost constant. Her fingers were entwined in my hair, pulling and pushing me from one breast to the other.

I felt the juices from my pussy soaking my panties, more than ever before. I lowered my hands, undoing the button on her denim shorts and pulling down the zipper. Placing my hands on her hips, my fingers just inside of her panties, I pushed both down slowly at the same time kneeling before her. I planted kisses on her belly, following her shorts and panties as I lowered them. Her soft curly hairs came into my view. I stopped pulling her panties down, long enough to kiss the hairs, pulling them with my teeth. As I started again to pull down the panties and shorts, her clef came into my view, I could see the moisture already built up on her panties. As I pulled them lower, the moisture kept them attached to her lips, when finally they pulled free. I quickly pulled her panties and shorts down, as she lifted each leg, I removed them and tossed them with the rest of her clothing on the floor behind her.