Lisa Ch. 03: Learning

"Why don't we go brush your teeth, Jess." Jimmy said, "We've got a work out to do before going outside."

He looked to Riley who still clutched her on his lap.

Riley released her and Jessica slid off his lap and moved toward Jim. Jim looked to Angus, waiting for an objection, but Angus just kept his eyes on Jessica. He watched her until she disappeared in the hallway with Jim.

Even when he could no longer see her, he stared at the hallway. What was she up to? He wondered. Given five or ten minutes alone with her, he'd find out, but it didn't seem that he'd get that chance.

Riley leaned toward Scott and Josh. "When Jessica's outside, I want Josh and Jim with you Scott, just in case ... it's easy to get distracted with the horses . . Shit, maybe I should stick around ..."

"We can handle it Riley," Josh said. "You go into town, or do whatever you need to do. All three of us will be with her, at all times."

Riley hesitated. Both he and Angus had a full day of errands planned, some of which were difficult to put off. He looked at Angus, but his expression was non-committal. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But then, there had already been some small changes, all in the span of half and hour.

"Alright," he acquiesced with a sigh.

Something had to change. He needed something to change.

It was no longer fulfilling to have Jessica cower at his very presence. He suspected that Angus felt the same way.

"Let's see if this will be tempting enough to keep her on her best behavior. Good luck. Angus, stick around I need a word with you ..."

Riley waited for Scott and Josh to disappear into the basement, Jim and Jessica following moments later. As was their usual pattern, Jim, Josh and Scott worked out first thing in the morning.

"You didn't object to Jessica helping Scott with the horses." Riley said when the basement door closed and the sound of footsteps going down the stairs dissipated.

Angus shrugged. "I guess you have your reasons for doing what you do," he replied. Riley smiled. Good old Angus, he could always rely on him to back him up.

"I have a plan, but for it to work, you and I have to change the way we deal with Jessica."

A shadow passed over Angus' face. Change was never something easy for him.

"Think of Jessica the same as you think of Sam, out in the kennel there," he said referring to a pit bull of theirs with which they'd had considerable trouble when they first brought him home.

"Sam?" Angus replied, liking the sound of this even less.

"Remember how we had to start throwing him a few bones now and again? When he did the littlest thing right, we had to pet him real good, talk in a quieter voice, give him a treat?"

Angus nodded, "Spoil him you mean. We had to coddle his sorry ass."

"That pretty much describes it," Riley agreed. "Well, we're going to have to do the same with Jessica."

"Coddle? Jessica? Are you kidding me?" Angus asked in amazement. "If there's anyone in this world who does not need coddling, it's that girl. Have you forgotten all she's done to us? Christ, you're joking right?"

"No, I'm not joking. Lord knows she's strong willed," Riley paused when Angus snickered, "but we're working on changing that, right? I threw her a bone, she took it. In the past, she wouldn't have, today she did. She made a change, and now we need to make one in order to move ahead."

Angus was shaking his head. "It's a trick Riley. She's up to something again ...I'm not falling for it!"

"Hey Angus, I'm with you on that," Riley replied with a laugh, "I don't trust her as far as I could throw ...you. I'm not saying we throw the doors open and let her waltz out! Nothing changes except that we try to make ourselves less scary to her .."

Angus was shaking his head again. "That isn't going to work!" He interrupted.

"Think of it this way," Riley said. "If she's trying to pull something on us ... we're pulling something on her. How better to catch her at it than to lull her into a false sense of security? She thinks we have our guard down ... she tries to execute her plan, whatever it is, and bam, we thwart it. Teach her a lesson, she'll never forget. But in the meantime, we get the benefit of having her behave the way we want."

Angus was silent. His chin to his chest, Angus stared at Riley from below a knitted brow.

"Alright," he finally said. "But when we find out what she's up to, I get first dibs at punishing her ..."

"Agreed." Riley said, "But if you're concentrating on the negative, it's going to come out in how you deal with her. Just pretend, for the time being, that she's everything you want her to be. She's your girl. You have to will her to be what you want."

Angus let a sigh escape him. "Christ," he muttered under his breath.

"Angus," Riley said moving closer to him, right up in his face, "Live a little. Let this be your fantasy. I have one, I know you do too. Somewhere inside, you have an image of what you want Jessica to be. Make her it. This isn't going to work if you don't really try."

"This is dangerous Riley," Angus said quietly.

He was never one to defy Riley. For his whole life Angus had been misunderstood, his reserved nature taken for stupidity or slowness. Riley had been the one person who had always seen the potential in Angus, always treated him like a normal person. No matter what Riley told him to do, he ultimately did it. Riley could tell him to put the barrel of a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger, and he would do it, no question about it. And despite himself, he wanted to comply. Yes, he had ideas about how he wanted Jessica to be. How he wanted her to act, maybe even love him. And in fact, his fantasy included a lot of coddling of Jessica. But it was dangerous, very dangerous. Not only could she escape, but she could trample his heart. He'd been through that once before ... he had no plans on going through it again.

"I know," Riley said placing his hand on Angus' shoulder. Despite how Angus had tried to paint it otherwise, Riley knew Angus' break-up with Beth had been incredibly painful for him. "This is different Angus. Jessica is going nowhere. She's yours, mine, ours, no matter what, for however long we want her. Remember that."

Angus nodded. "Okay ... okay, I'll do it. I can't promise miracles though."

"Just try, that's all I ask."

"Right. What about the others?" Angus asked as Riley let go of his shoulder and Angus tried to pretend that he hadn't needed his show of affection as much as he had.

"What about them?" Riley asked surprised by the tinge of jealousy he heard in his own voice.

All right, if he were one hundred percent honest with himself, he did feel some jealousy. For whatever reason, things seemed to go easier for them with Jessica. "They're young and stupid. They think with their dicks, not their heads and it seems to have gotten them somewhere with her."

"So, be more like them, is what you're saying?"

"Like Josh or Scott maybe," Riley replied, "but please, please, don't turn into Jimmy. I can only take one bleeding heart in this group, alright?"

Angus nodded and laughed.

So Riley had noticed it too. The way Jessica interacted with the others versus him or Riley. Well, maybe Riley was right. Maybe they had to try and soften up a little around her. But if she was just trying to find some way to escape ... heaven help her because that was where she'd end up, he'd make sure of that.

Riley took a rifle from the cabinet and headed for the door. "I'll see you a bit later." He said.

"Later," Angus said. He looked at the door Riley had just gone through.

Fantasy. Hell, that'd be easy, he did that all the time.

In fact, many of the times that he'd blown up at Jessica lately were because she hadn't acted the way he'd fantasized that she would. The frustration had been too much, the disappointment too great.

But now Riley seemed to think that he could somehow shape Jessica into the person of his fantasy. Angus wasn't stupid. He realized that he was going to have to change his fantasy somewhat. Unless he could somehow transfer his thoughts to Jessica's there was no way she could be exactly what he wanted. So, he'd settle for the next best thing. At least some attempt to appear as though she liked him, wanted to be with him. That would be a massive improvement over the way things were now. Angus moved to the basement door. He opened it.

"Anyone need anything in town?" Angus called down while fidgeting with the baseball cap on his head.

"No!" came the immediate reply from below.

Angus sucked in a breath. Well, no time to start but the present ...

"What about Jessica, does she need any supplies?"

There was silence. He began to wonder if he'd asked the question out loud.

"No," Jim finally replied.

Well, his fantasy Jessica would have had a list a mile long, but in reality Angus was relieved. He didn't particularly enjoy hanging around in the women's section in department stores. Picking up his rifle, he left, slamming the door behind him.

In the basement Jessica jumped at the noise. Then she felt relief. Angus was gone for a while, she had room to breathe. For whatever reason, Angus always managed to come in quietly, but when he left, they all knew it.

"Are you done yet?" Jessica asked for the hundredth time. She was anxious to get out to the horses, and it was obvious.

The men had stopped their workout, the shock of Angus' question disrupting their concentration. Angus never asked about Jessica's needs. Supplies or otherwise. Jim, Josh and Scott had stared each other. It was a good thing Jim had answered Angus, neither Josh nor Scott had had the presence of mind to.

"Jess, you didn't happen to slip anything into Riley and Angus' coffee, did you?" Scott asked. The way she was watched, it was impossible, but he couldn't think of any other explanation for Riley or Angus' behavior that morning.

"What?" Jessica asked.

"Never mind!" Jim exclaimed, giving Scott the evil eye.

"Hey, you got a better explanation?" Scott asked.

"No need to plant seeds ..." Jim said looking at Jessica to see what her reaction to Scott's question was. She had already forgotten it and was practically hopping up and down on the sofa.

"Are you done?" she repeated.

"Alright, alright!" Josh said, reaching for his towel. "I don't know about you guys, but I can't work out with Jessica practically salivating over here."

"Fine, " Scott said with a laugh. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Jessica so excited. "Let's go see the horses."

******************************************

Jessica was in awe. Her day had been better than she had hoped. She had helped Jim, Josh and Scott clean out the horse stalls, and groom the horses. They had barely stopped for lunch before they went back to the barns to finish up with the stalls.

Now she stood at the corral fence barely able to control her excitement. The men were saddle training a new horse, Ebony. Scott had climbed on the horse while it was in a wooden chute that fed into the corral. Aside from a whinny here and there, he'd been calm, but once Jim had unlatched the gate, the black, enormous, horse flew out in the corral and began jumping, turning, and arching his back. Scott had bounced around like a rag doll for a minute or two, and then flew off landing in a cloud of dust on the ground. Josh, riding a tan mare, Aspin, raced in and scooped Scott up before he could be stomped by the Ebony's flailing hooves.

Jessica's heart pounded. It had looked like so much fun! Despite the fact that it reminded her of the last day she'd had with her family, she felt nothing but excitement, happiness. Jimmy rounded Ebony up again, and led him into the chute. Jessica ran, as best as she could in Jimmy's running shoes, to the side of the chute. The men had tossed her old shoes out and given that Jessica had never been outside of the house, they'd never bothered buying her new ones. Jimmy's feet were so much bigger than hers, she felt like she was wearing clown shoes. But she was too excited to be self-conscious.

She climbed up the side of the chute. He'd watched her clonk over in his old pair of runners and he couldn't help but smile. Not only because she'd looked pretty funny, but also because there was no way she could run away wearing them. They were perfect.

Jessica peered over the chute wall. There was barely enough room to slip onto the horse.

"Be careful Jess," Jimmy said, "you don't want to fall in there!"

Oh yes she did!

"Can I ..." she began, but a whinny from within the corral interrupted her. Josh and Scott were still on the brown mare, but she pranced back and forth, lifting her legs.

"Jim! It's a God damn snake!" Josh yelled.

"Shit!" Jimmy hissed as he grabbed his rifle from where it leaned against the far chute wall. He flew over the fence and into the corral.

Jessica went into auto pilot. Without thinking she straddled the chute wall and lowered herself onto Ebony's back. He snorted his disapproval. She wrapped the rope attached to the saddle horn around her hand, and without so much as a hesitation she leaned forward and pressed the lever that unhitched the gate. The horse flew out of the chute.

Jim heard the horse coming. He'd fired off a round, killing the snake, and then he spun around. His mind couldn't grasp what it saw. There was the black stallion, bucking around the corral, and Jessica sat on top, rolling with the motion of the horse. Something about the scene wasn't right, but it took him a few seconds to understand that it was Jessica, and she was about to kill herself falling off the horse. Dread grew within him.

"Holy Shit!" he heard Scott yell from behind him, and he saw Josh on the mare race up to the head of the stallion, and try to get a hold of it. In what seemed to be the longest two seconds of their lives, Scott, Jim and Josh watched helplessly as Jessica went around and around on the horse. And then, with a magnificent buck from Ebony, she flew off, and all they could see was dust. Josh took the opportunity to rope the stallion and lead him away. Jim and Scott ran to Jessica. She was getting to her feet, her body heaving in silent spasms.

"Jess! Jess!" Jim shouted as he reached her, grabbed her and pulled him to him. He ran his hands over her body, looking for broken bones, sprains, gashes. Jessica continued to vibrate. When he was certain there weren't any obvious injuries, he pushed her away from him and looked into her face, ready to soothe and calm her terror, but unprepared for what he actually saw. Jessica wasn't crying, like he'd suspected, but laughing. She was laughing so hard she couldn't get a sound out.

"Is she alright?" Scott asked.

"I'm not sure," Jim replied, "oh crap," he said as he looked over Scott's shoulder and saw Riley and Angus barreling at them full speed. Jessica's back was to them, she didn't see them coming, but Jim doubted that at that moment she really cared.

"Did you see that?" she demanded from Jim. She moved into his arms, put her hands on his chest and grabbed handfuls of his shirts. She tugged on his shirt. "Did you see that?" she repeated, "that was so much fun!"

"Jess ..." Jimmy began.

"Can I do it again?" she asked.

"What the hell happened?" Riley demanded as he reached them. He grabbed Jessica's arm and spun her around to face him. The smile he saw there made him hesitate. It wasn't her usual 'in your face' victorious smile, but a smile he'd never seen on her before.

The fear Riley'd felt moments before dissipated He and Angus had just returned from town, just gotten out of the car, when they saw Jessica fly from the horse.

As her body had hit the ground, Riley had felt something lodge in his throat. He'd wanted to scream her name, but nothing came out. He was certain she had broken her neck, but here she stood, smiling up at him.

A real smile. And much to his surprise, it didn't fade when she saw him, or Angus, who'd brushed past him and pulled her from Riley's grasp and into his own. His hands ran over her body as if he were frisking her, and yet she smiled. She was delirious, it was the only explanation.

"It was so much fun!" Jessica repeated, "Did you see it?" she looked down at Angus as he crouched beside her, hands running over her legs. He looked up at her. What the hell was she on?

He stood up, towering over her, not sure how to react. Jessica spun back to Jimmy. She felt so alive again, so exuberant. She stepped closer to Jim, "Can I do it again, can I?"

"Hey!" Angus roared, Jessica moving away from him being more than he could take. "Get back here Jessica. You don't leave me unless I say to!" and he reached out, grabbed her arm and jerked her back.

That was a reality check for Jessica. The smile disappeared as she found her footing. She stood beside Angus, head lowered.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "I forgot."

Angus paused. She never normally said anything, just stood and glowered. Angus looked to Riley. Riley watched Jessica through squinted eyes.

There hadn't been any eye contact, and it wasn't loud and clear, but she'd responded. He turned his attention back to Jim, Josh and Scott.

"What was she doing on that horse?" he demanded.

"Trying to get us to take her to the hospital again!" Angus interjected in a gruff voice. Memories of the aspirin incident flooding back to him.

How she'd found the bottle, they could never figure out, but she had, and she'd eaten practically the whole thing before any of them had realized it. She'd never tried to kill herself prior to that ... the men were horrified to think she'd found a new purpose that they'd have to guard against. It soon became obvious that her intention hadn't been to off herself, but to force them to take her to the hospital. She'd looked almost triumphant as she kept repeating the word 'hospital'.

Riley had dashed any hopes she had of that when he ordered Angus to get him a mixture of warm water and soap. He had poured it down her throat, until he was sure she'd vomited everything up.

"If you want broken bones Jessica," Angus continued, "you don't have to ride a horse to get them ... I'll gladly oblige!" He'd hung on to Jessica's arm and now he pulled her by it until she was on her toes. He stuck his reddening face into hers.

"She just wanted to have a little fun!" Jim said quickly, trying to divert what he knew was likely to come for Jessica.

"Fun?" Angus asked, staring into Jessica's eyes. Their faces were so close she had little choice but to look back. "I can dish that out too!" with a sound that resembled a growl he turned on his heel and began stalking back to the house, dragging Jessica behind him.

"Stop!" Jim yelled and ran to stand in Angus' way, "she asked me if she could ride Ebony."

Angus glowered at Jim as they stood facing each other, and Jim began to wonder if he'd end-up with a few broken bones too.

"That was fucking stupid!" Angus finally said. "Really fucking stupid. Jessica can come up with her own ways to escape Jim, she doesn't need your help!" He yanked Jessica to his side. "Besides, it doesn't matter whether she asked you or not, I have a few things I'd like to say to Jessica in private anyway."

"Angus," Riley interrupted, "I think this is something we need to address with Jim." Angus turned to look at Riley. He was trying very, very hard to control his anger. Jim moved forward, next to Jessica.

"I admit it wasn't the best idea ..." Jim began, "but guys, she's so damn bored. I thought that was part of the agreement, that she'd have a little more freedom, and fun."

As Jim spoke, Jessica slipped her free hand into his. He was always there for her. He always did what he could to protect her.

Riley blinked. What the hell ... Jessica's stance hadn't changed. She stood, head lowered between Angus and Jimmy, but she had taken Jimmy's hand. And Jimmy had the nerve to stand there and talk to them as if Jessica seeking out physical contact was the most natural thing in the world .