Lisa Ch. 03: Learning

"Just read the books that I bring you, and try, okay? That's all I ask."

"Okay," she said, but still had the deer in the headlights look. He realized that he was squeezing her wrists, hard. He let go, and slid off of her. Lying down beside her he stared at the ceiling.

What was wrong with him? He was looking for signs that he could trust her and here she'd thrown a really big sign in his lap, and all he could do was see it as proof that she was plotting something. Christ. Well, he'd take a chance on her, but if she pulled a fast one on him, he'd make her pay, one way or another.

"Come here Jess," he said turning toward her and pulling her to him. "I appreciate your honesty. I'm just tired I guess, and frustrated. Just promise me that you'll do your best to find something that turns you on, please."

"All right," Jessica mumbled.

"Now that sounds convincing!" Scott said. "At least try to say it in a tone that inspires me to think that you'll really try."

"But what if there isn't anything?" Jessica asked in quiet voice.

"There is." Scott answered. "You're not broken Jessica. You'll ... we'll find it."

"But how will I know I've found it?" Jessica asked

"Believe me Jess, it'll be obvious. It'll feel good, really good, and you won't be able to get enough of it." Jessica grunted in disbelief. "It's true. It'll be an all consuming passion ... you'll have your hands all over me, you'll be begging for more! I'll have to hide from you, just to get some rest ... I'm exhausted just thinking about it."

Jessica giggled as Scott brought his hand to his chin and pretended to be reconsidering the whole thing. He liked the sound of that laugh. He pulled Jessica closer to him and kissed the top of her head.

"You'll like it Jessica, I promise. Now, let's go to sleep before I have to back down on my promise to not touch you in all the places that I really want to touch you."

He went to the bedroom door, locked it, put away the key, and turned off the lights. Getting back into bed, he wrapped his arms around Jessica, and tried to imagine what a ninety year old woman would look like naked.

'Yup, that did it.' Scott thought to himself as he closed his eyes and shuddered.

Jessica lay in the dark, listening to Scott snore. Why had she told Scott the truth? She hadn't done it intentionally, it had just come out. What if he changed his mind and went to Riley with the truth? Everything would be lost. And now she was stuck with the impossible task of finding a way to enjoy Scott's violation of her. Couldn't it be enough that she'd found a way to tolerate it? Apparently not. For some reason Scott seemed to believe that she was supposed to be enjoying his poking and prodding. What was she going to do? Things were moving so quickly, and getting better, that Jessica couldn't stand to consider going back to how things had been. God, her family must be in heaven looking down at her with disgust. She felt tears pool in her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she said and blissfully felt sleep overcome her.

"No!" the cry was so loud Scott jumped in the bed. He opened his eyes to see Jessica writhing on the bed. "Mom! Mom! Dad! Please, please, don't let them take me, don't leave me alone!" she screamed and a wail punctuated the sentence.

"Jessica! Jessica!" Scott was saying, taking her by the shoulders and shaking. "Wake-up!"

"I want to go home!" Jessica cried, "Please ... I want to go home!"

"Shhh, go to sleep," Scott whispered, wishing these damn dreams would just go away. Every night, for the past two years, Jessica cried and had nightmares. When was it ever going to change? She fought less now ... he could touch her without getting a broken nose, but her emotional pain never seemed to diminish.

"Marcus, Cain! Jeffery ... Jeffery! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! " She screamed and bolted upright. "They're dead! They're all dead!"

"Jessica," Scott said attempting to sound calm and comforting. He began to pull her into his arms. She resisted. "Come here Jessica, it's just a bad dream ... that's all ..."

"No," she said shaking her head and planting her hands on his chest, pushing him away as hard as she could. "They're all dead, and you killed them!"

"Jessica, listen to me!" Scott gripped her forearms and shook her, "You're having a bad dream ... go back to sleep!"

"Mom," Jessica muttered as she fell against him. And in the next minute, she was fast asleep.

Scott's heart pounded in his rib cage. Jessica lay limp against him. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't breath. He lay her down beside him, and got up from the bed. He paced.

Jesus Christ! Even though she almost always said the same thing every time she had a nightmare, Scott just couldn't get past the 'and you killed them!' part. Funny, since he had killed them ... but night after night of being reminded of it was too much. Sexually frustrated, and now this ... he needed a drink.

He unlocked the set of handcuffs he had hanging on the bed post, handcuffed Jessica's hand to the post, locked the bedroom door behind him, and made his way to the bar the in the living room. Unlocking it he extracted a bottle of whiskey and he didn't even bother looking for a glass. He took four good pulls from the bottle ... 'screw it', he thought as he re-locked the cabinet and took the bottle back to the bedroom with him. If nothing else the booze would help him fall to sleep.

He uncuffed Jessica, not even wanting to imagine how she'd react if she awoke to find herself cuffed, and got in on his side of the bed.

It had been a messy job that day ... lots of chaos, lots of blood ... but for some reason the only thing that really stuck in his mind was the memory of the young girl screaming in the back seat of the limo ... Scott shuddered. He put the whiskey bottle to his lips, tilted his head and guzzled. A warmth spread through him, and he began to feel sleepy. As he drifted off, he remembered that girl again. As he came closer to her in his memory, he could make out what she was screaming as she looked at the corpses around her ... "Mom! Dad! Marcus! Cain! Jeffery!"

To be continued ...