Lisa Ch. 03: Learning

"Well one things for sure," Josh said replaying the image of Jessica slipping her hand in Jimmy's, in his head. "Jessica appreciated you letting her ride."

"Right," Jim said. She appreciated his lying for her, that was for certain. Could Jessica have been trying to use his trust in her against him? He felt like shit, but he wasn't sure if it was because he'd lied to Riley and Angus, or because he suddenly doubted Jessica.

"Don't worry," Scott said seeing the stricken look on Jim's face, "tonight I intend to be 100% certain about what her intentions had been. If I find out that she'd meant anything other than to have fun, Riley and Angus will be the least of her worries ..."

They entered the house and stopped in their tracks. Angus was lying on the sofa with Jessica. Riley was in the kitchen cooking, and the whole scene looked strangely serene. Angus, alone, was the polar opposite to peace and relaxation, but Angus, Riley and Jessica always added up to a highly volatile and explosive situation. Jim knew that there was only one possible reason that Jessica wasn't being abused in some way, and that was the slant he'd given on reality. He felt sick.

"Dinner's ready," Riley said to the gaping trio. "We're having a meeting after we eat."

Angus sat-up with Jessica, and neither moved. Angus looked as perplexed about what to do next as Jessica. Jim saw his opportunity to be alone with Jessica.

"Why don't you come wash your hands with me?" Jim suggested. Jessica jerked forward, as if eager to comply, but then paused. She turned to Angus.

"Can I go?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah," Angus muttered. As Jim and Jessica disappeared down the hallway to the bathroom, Angus looked at Josh and Scott, as if looking for confirmation that he hadn't just imagined Jessica asking for permission to go with Jim. Josh and Scott could only look to Riley, they didn't believe what had just happened either. Riley winked at them, and gave Angus a thumbs-up sign before returning to the kitchen.

"Maybe she did slip something in their food," Josh whispered to Scott. He was thankful that they were going to have a meeting because he had some questions for Riley and Angus.

Jessica rinsed her hands and then reached out for Jim's hand.

"Thanks." She said.

Jim studied her face. "For?"

"For helping me. Riley and Angus have been ..." she paused, trying to find a suitable description. Finally she settled on, "different. I think it's because of what you said, thank you."

She seemed sincere. Was she that good an actress?

"You're welcome Jess." Jim replied wishing he could just leave it at that, but knew he'd always wonder ... "Just before I left to deal with that snake, what was it you were trying to say to me?"

"Before the snake?" Jessica asked, she looked bewildered. "There was a snake?"

"That's what was spooking Scott and Josh's horse ... I had to go shoot it ..."

"I don't remember a snake," she said.

"You don't remember Aspin going beserk?" Jim asked. Jessica shook her head.

"All I remember is that I wanted to ride Ebony. I was asking you if I could, and then I was ... " suddenly a smile crossed her face as she grabbed Jimmy's arm, "it was so much fun! It was better than any roller coaster that I've ever been on!"

Jessica seemed oblivious to the reference to her previous life, but Jim hadn't missed it. It wasn't often that it happened, but when Jessica did mention something from her childhood Jim began to feel guilty. And when he felt guilty he became overly accommodating. Was Jessica trying to manipulate him?

"That's fine, but next time don't do it unless you actually ask, and I actually answer!" Jim said his voice stern. Jessica froze and stared at him. He hadn't used that tone with her in so long, she wasn't sure how to react. Her smile vanished and a pout replaced it. Jimmy felt bad. "I'm sorry Jess, I didn't mean it the way it sounded ..."

"Are you guys planning on eating some time tonight?" Riley called out from the kitchen.

"Coming!" Jim shouted back. Then trying to soften his voice he said "Spontaneity is not a word that should be in your vocabulary right now Jessica. You ask a specific question, and you get a specific answer, that's all. Got it?"

"Yes," Jessica replied.

"We'll talk more later," Jim said taking Jessica's arm, "let's go eat before Riley blows a gasket."

"Okay," Scott said once Jim returned from downstairs and closed the basement door. He paused as Jim opened it again and peeked behind it. Jessica was down there, and she was known to try and eavesdrop. As Jim closed the door again, Scott turned to Riley and Angus. "Either we've entered the Twilight Zone, Jessica slipped something really good into your food, or you've been replaced by less evil doubles ... "

"Ha, ha," Riley said, "don't quit your day job Scott, you'll never make it as a comedian."

"Give me a break Riley. Ever since Jessica came here the two of you have been about as warm and cuddly as a couple of ice cubes on a cold winter's day, and now Angus is cuddling Jessica on the sofa, and you're winking and giving the thumbs-up sign? What's going on?"

Riley looked to Angus in astonishment. "I don't know about you," he said, "but my feelings are hurt." He turned back to Scott, "I was wrong Scott, maybe you'd be alright as a comedian. You've got the exaggeration of simple events down pretty good but ditch the colorful metaphors ... you make me sound like a fag. Is there a question you'd like to ask?"

"Wait a minute," Angus said rising from the chair he sat on, "where do fagots fit into all of this. There ain't no fucking fagots here, and there never will be!"

"And the old Angus is back!" Scott exclaimed. "Thank God too, we were beginning to really miss the anger, the aggression."

"You want anger? I'll give you anger, " Angus said. "stop talking in fucking riddles, or I'll pop you ... angry enough for you?"

"All right," Riley interrupted, "before anyone has a stroke, Angus and I have decided to take a slightly different tack with Jessica. We figure that if she feels less afraid of us, she might actually listen a little better ... not a word Jimbo!" Riley added just as Jim opened his mouth to speak.

He had given them practically that exact same advice ages ago. He'd been about to point that out, but now thought better of it. Well, at least one half of the equation was starting to make a change. Angus and Riley were finally giving in to their need to have Jessica's cooperation. Now if there were just some way to convince Jessica to do the same. She was oblivious to the simple things that she could do to turn her life around for herself. Jim was sure that with just some simple changes on Jessica's part, and a bit of time, Riley and Angus could be completely different men.

"Don't get any lame brain ideas though ... " Angus added, "this doesn't mean Jessica gets away with murder. She will continue to pay for any misbehaviors she commits. If you insist on being a bunch of bleeding hearts, keep it to yourselves."

"Something you'll figure out pretty fast," Josh said, Angus' self-righteous attitude getting under his skin, "is that the best way to get Jessica to be less afraid of you, is to actually be less scary. You call it being a bleeding heart, I call it picking my battles. Make no mistake Angus, when Jessica does something that warrants it, I can be just as brutal as you. I have been in the past ... you know it, these guys," Josh said tilting his head in the direction of other men, "know it, and Jessica knows it. There are no hearts bleeding around here Angus, just a whole lot of discretion being used in an attempt to build some common ground with Jessica. Course, you may not have had time to notice, given that you've been working really hard at undoing every advancement we've made." Josh's voice had been steadily getting louder as he got angrier. As he spoke, Angus' face got redder and redder. Josh didn't care. He was beyond caring whether he had to duke it out with Angus or Riley. "So fuck you and your fucking high horse!"

"Angus!" Riley said as Angus took a step toward Josh. Angus froze in his place, but his gaze was locked on Josh. He shook as rage coursed through him. The vein on his forehead pulsated. Josh knew he should be at least a little bit scared. He'd seen what Angus could do to men twice his size, but his own anger, his own indignation, wouldn't acquiesce.

"Let's not lose sight of reality here guys," Riley began, "the fact is that Jessica would love nothing more than to turn us against one another. Divide and conquer would work great for her. So let's not forget the basics ... there's us, and there's her. It's true that some of us are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to how we deal with Jessica, but our vision, our goal, has to be the same."

"Right, " Jim said glad that his months of dropped hints and indirect suggestions finally paid off. Riley finally understood the need to be nicer to Jessica ... but Jim still couldn't seem to get it through Riley or Angus' head that there was more to be had from Jessica then obedience. "Then maybe we should re-define what our goal is. I thought we wanted a relationship with Jessica. We can't do that if we keep treating her like property."

Angus snorted as he slid his eyes from Josh to Jim. "Who the hell are you kidding?" he demanded. "Jessica is one hundred percent, without a doubt, our property. To have a relationship with someone, that someone has to have some measure of free will, independence. Now, you tell me Jim, when's the last time you asked Jessica where she'd rather be, here, or at her own home? When have you ever given Jessica a choice about anything? She's as much our property as that couch. " he pointed at the sofa that sat to the left of him, "If you want to delude yourself into believing differently, don't expect me to play along!"

"Angus," Scott jumped in, "you don't go out of your way to beat the crap out of the sofa every chance you get. Just cause she's your property doesn't mean you have to be so damn hard on her!"

"You'd be right, except for one thing," Angus replied, "that sofa don't go out of its way to try and kill me. For that, I gladly leave it alone."

Silence hung in the air. Riley let it hang for a full five minutes while contemplating his next move. At all costs, the men had to remain united.

"Let's not forget where our loyalties lie," Riley said. "We've known each other since the day we were born. Our families joined into one huge family, and our families suffered at the hands of Jessica's parents. Our first consideration should always be one another. Jessica should not in any way, take that away from us."

"She's not taking anything away from us," Scott said, "of course we're loyal to each other first and foremost. But Jessica's fear of you, affects all of us. We're each working on building some sort of relationship with her ... she's a human being, not a piece of furniture Angus!" Scott added when he saw Angus ready to interrupt. "Once you're dealing with human beings, you're dealing with relationships. And her fear of you two is impeding any progress we could make. We've gotta all try and save any punitive actions against Jessica for the truly deserving situations."

"Well, excuse us if we're impeding your attainment of true happiness with Jessica. We wouldn't want to be too good at controlling any of her attempts to kill you ... I mean, I guess it doesn't matter that had she aimed just a little off you'd be at best a vegetable, and at worst, dead? I guess you've forgotten all of that?!" Angus ranted.

Scott lowered his head. Unfortunately, Angus had a point. The fear he'd felt when that gun had gone off came back to Scott as if it were just happening. Jim had been prepared to make another point, but Angus' words had silenced him. Josh looked at Scott for a moment and shifted uncomfortably. That had been the darkest time of their history with Jessica. In Josh's mind they probably should have killed Jessica the moment that bullet had hit Scott. But they hadn't, and Josh sometimes wondered what Scott made of that. True he had never seemed upset by it, he had refused to allow them to punish her in retribution. Though it had taken him a long time to be alone with Jessica again after she had healed from Angus' initial beating.

"I thought so," Angus grumbled when it became clear that nothing more was going to come from Scott, Jim or Josh. And then the old anger and frustration resurfaced. "And I can't fucking believe that you didn't punish her for that!" Angus spat. "I kind of thought you were just too tired out at first, figured you'd do it when you got your strength back. But you didn't. And forbidding us to punish her for it ... that was just ... just ..." Angus was so mad he couldn't find the right words to sufficiently demonstrate his distaste with Scott's decision.

"I don't believe you're bringing that up again." Jim said when Scott went pale. "That's ancient history ..."

"It's okay Jim." Scott said. "Angus, I stand by the decision I made then and you being pissed about it won't change anything. But I appreciate what you're saying. I get it."

Angus grumbled but in truth he didn't really care that Scott had done something so stupid. True to form Jessica had given them so many other reasons to beat her ... and when she did, Angus always put a little extra effort in it on Scott's behalf. Whether he wanted it or not.

"Are we in agreement then?" Riley asked, privately relieved that Angus had found such an effective way to bring the men to their senses. "Angus and I will attempt to be less frightening for Jessica, but we must never allow her to come between us. No matter what our advancements are with her, each one of us must take precedence over her in our hearts as well as our minds."

Scott, Jim and Josh nodded their heads. Almost reluctantly, Riley thought.

"I didn't hear you!" Riley said.

"Yes, of course," Scott answered.

"Right," Jim said.

"Mhmm," Josh agreed.

Hardly a resounding endorsement, but Riley knew that they understood. Although none of the men, other than himself or Angus, had demonstrated it lately, he knew that what Josh had said to Angus was true. They could be equally brutal when properly motivated, and knowing Jessica, it wouldn't be long before that motivation appeared again.

"Good. Well, that's it I guess. May as well call her up again," he said to Jim. Jim nodded and walked to the basement door. He paused before it. He didn't know why, but somehow the reminder of what Jessica had done to Scott had been a major blow. He felt numb, as if he'd witnessed a horrible tragedy. Maybe Angus and Riley were right after all. Jessica certainly was, and would probably always be, an outsider to them. As he reached for the doorknob Jim shook his head. He refused to believe that. If he believed that, really believed that, what was the point in even trying with Jessica? Taking a deep breath, he opened the basement door. At least Riley and Angus were actually trying to make Jessica feel more comfortable with them. Maybe there was some hope for the change, after all.

"I bet you could've lived without being reminded of the shooting," Josh said to Scott as they waited for Jessica to emerge from the basement.

Scott shrugged. The initial recollection of terror had subsided, and he had felt again, just as he had at the time of the shooting, that not much else could have been expected from Jessica. Had he been her in the same situation, he would have done the same thing. It didn't make the whole ordeal any easier, but he certainly felt no ill will toward Jessica because of it. Caution, now that was a different matter. Since that day, he has felt a new level of caution with Jessica. He could not afford to under estimate her again ... and he would not.

"I'm always reminded of the shooting, " Scott said pressing his hand on his shirt just over the scar on his chest. "I don't need Angus to remind me ... though I think it means more to him than it does to me. I don't hold anything against Jessica. War is war, right?"

Scott watched Jessica step from the threshold of the basement and smile at Jim. There it was, the reason he couldn't hold it against Jessica. There was something about

that smile, the one she saved just for Jim, that caused Scott to strive for something more. He wanted that smile, and everything that came with it, too.

"That's pretty big of you," Josh said glancing around to make sure that neither Riley nor Angus were within hearing range. They had moved off to the kitchen, "I'm not so sure that I could do the same."

"I'm sure," Scott said, his eyes tracking Jessica as she moved to the sofa with Jim. "Those two, " he said indicating Riley and Angus, "not a chance. You and Jim, yes. You already have a half dozen times. Let's just hope for her sake that she doesn't try something like that again."

"She's gotta know that she'd never survive ... she barely did after she shot you."

Scott nodded his head. He looked at his watch. Nine o'clock. One more hour and he could have Jessica to himself. Maybe this'd be the night that he'd get that smile for himself. Jim was pulling out the cards. Scott and Josh each took a kitchen table chair and set them around the coffee table. Jim passed Scott the cards, and Scott shuffled, watching Jessica curl her legs under her on the sofa.

"Ready to play Jess?" Scott asked once he'd dealt the cards. Riley glanced up to see Jessica uncurl herself and reach for the pile of cards, nearest her on the coffee table.

Well, it seemed that Jim, Scott and Josh had finally convinced her to play cards. He guessed that was a good thing. He wondered what it would take to get her to play chess with him. There was a pipe dream. He brought his attention back to the map on the table. They were getting closer to the day that they could bring Kevin home. Angus was busy circling all the roadways that led away from the prison in red. Who knew when the opportunity would present itself ... but when it did, they would be ready.

Jim switched seats with Josh, so he could be Jessica's partner. They always played as a team. He watched Jessica study her cards. It'd been a long process, getting Jessica to participate in games with them. Most of the time, Jessica had to contend with Riley and/or Angus glowering at her all night as the men played. Even when neither Riley nor Angus were actually playing the game, but were in the vicinity, she refused to play. Preferring instead to curl up into a little ball on the sofa, and pretend to not exist. Finally, a month or two ago, there was a night much like this one, where Angus and Riley were otherwise preoccupied. Jimmy, Josh and Scott and managed to lure Jessica into a game by telling her to teach them a game of cards that she liked. She'd taught them a

game called Euchre, and so now, if they wanted her to play cards with them, they'd simply deal out a hand of Euchre. Now her attention seemed only partially on the cards. Her eyes kept shifting to where Angus and Riley sat. Despite the afternoon's events, she was nervous again. Things had gone too easily so far. Jessica knew that it would be any little thing now that would set Riley or more likely Angus off.

Jim wished he could get Riley and Angus to go in the basement, or something. Every time they were around, Jessica withdrew. No wonder Scott and Josh, let alone Angus and Riley, had such a hard time trusting her. They never got to see the girl she was when she was alone with him. All they saw was a nervous, miserable, withdrawn girl.

It was enough to make him do downright stupid things to try and get the men to see the real Jessica. He thought of a good way to take her mind off of things, and maybe bring a little of the happier Jessica out. Recently, he, Josh and Scott had tried to persuade Jessica to get in on some of their bets. She'd resisted up until then, but he thought he knew how to get her to bet.