Love Me Tender - Please Pt. 04

The excitement and thrill that I got from listening to people tell me how great I was doing in my new career and their confidence in my future as a winner overcame me. All I can say is that I became addicted to their compliments and I craved more and more of them. I was never satisfied but I was always looking for ways to get the next accolade that I knew was just around the corner.

It became my obsession and in order to concentrate on it, I pushed you and our children farther and farther away from me. I guess I found that if I put you out of my mind I did not feel the guilt or the remorse that was welling up inside of me. The less I considered you and your feelings the more comfortable I became doing what I thought I had to do.

For reasons that I cannot go into in this letter, the shame that I had so successfully buried resurfaced while I was in Vegas. The flight back from Vegas gave me time to think and I came to realize how much hurt I had caused you. I was happy that I had finally gotten some insight into myself and I thought I could go on from there. I felt that if you never found out what I had done, I could make it up to you without you ever knowing what had happened. I made a sincere promise that I would do what ever was necessary, including leaving my new career, in order to get my life and our relationship back on track.

I know what you must think of me after finding those things in my purse. I cannot deny their existence nor can I find any excuse for having them. They are what they are and they are the proof of my betrayal of you.

I started using the pills a few months ago. It was after one of my so-called "friends" gave me one to help me through a difficult day. A few days later, I asked for another one and she gave it to me along with a name where I could get more without a prescription. I have tried to pace myself and use them only when I thought it was absolutely necessary, but I soon found it was necessary almost every day.

If you have not already figured it out, that was cocaine that you found in my purse. The first time I used it was on last Friday night, actually Saturday morning, after we had the argument on the telephone. I was blaming you for trying to undermine my career and not appreciating what I had accomplished. I did not go out looking for drugs but when they were offered to me, I took them.

I know I promised you that I would not drink while I was there, but I did and after the first one, there was no stopping me. I am sure that my drinking had a direct connection with me becoming willing to take drugs but that is not an excuse for my behavior. There is no point in hurting you more than you are already hurt by describing the circumstances or who gave them to me, but once I tried them they became my new obsession.

I was so relieved when you met me at the airport that I convinced myself that everything would be all right. I figured that I could lie my way out from under your suspicions and regain your trust and the love of my family.

It did not occur to me to clean out my purse and I never considered the possibility that you would look in there. Truthfully, I was so sick that I simply forgot the stuff was there.

I do not think you can understand the sinking feeling of horror and absolute despair that I felt when I saw the evidence of my betrayal spread out over our kitchen table. It was at that moment that I came face to face with the realization that it was over.

I knew that it had gone too far to recover. I know that your discovery was the end of us in your mind and that there was no possibility of me reasoning with you or for you to forgive me for what I have done to us.

After I find a new place to live, I will let you know so that you can contact me if you want. Please allow me to talk to Melody and Brian and to try and explain to them what I did and what has happened.

No matter what you may think about me and what I have done to us, I will always love you with all of my heart. I never intended to hurt you.

I love you and I am sorry,

Love,

Karen

Tears filled Ray's eyes as he read the letter. His hands were shaking so much that he had difficulty focusing on the words until he placed the paper flat down on the table and held it there. After finishing the letter, he carefully refolded it and placed it back into its envelope. A deep, sad sigh escaped his lips and he slouched down into the chair and stared at the letter he held in his hand.

Chapter 46

The sound of the trash truck in front of the house woke Ray on Monday morning. He could not remember what time he finally fell asleep but he knew it was only a few hours earlier. One side of him was still trying to find excuses for Karen's behavior while the other side wanted to punish her for what she had done.

At one point in his half-awake, thinking-state during the night, he actually considered blaming Mike and his Real Estate Agency for their problems. That thought came back to him as he lay listening to the sounds of the world waking up.

"She is a big girl and she is responsible for her own actions," he said aloud as if he was waiting for validation from an invisible source.

By the time he finished his breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, showered, and shaved, he figured he could reach Vincent at his office. He was surprised to hear Vincent personally answer the phone. Explaining that his secretary was not in yet, Vincent listened silently while Ray's voice, filled with emotion, told him what had happened.

Vincent explained that he would file the papers and have Karen served but that it would be difficult to get a restraining order to keep Karen away from the house and Brian. She has as much right to be there as he did unless he could show proof that she had, in fact committed adultery. As Ray already knew, Melody was an adult and would be allowed to make her own decision as to whether or not she wanted to see her mother.

Vincent went on to say that, after hearing Ray read Karen's letter, he did not think that she would try to do anything with the house so why not forget a restraining order. Ray agreed and asked him to file the separation agreement that would start their six months waiting period as required by Georgia law. Vincent told him that there would have to be some changes made and he would have to come down and sign the finished product.

When Ray returned to the house after signing the papers at Vincent's office, he found the lost luggage sitting on the front porch. Ray carried the bags inside and was getting ready to call Karen's office and leave a message for her. He stood there with the phone in his hand for a moment before deciding to look through Karen's bag. He justified it by reminding himself of what he had found in her purse.

Carrying the bags into the kitchen, he lifted Karen's up onto the table and opened it. Karen was always a stickler for neatly packing her suitcases but this bag was unlike any he had ever seen her pack. The mess of clothing and other articles haphazardly thrown into it took him by surprise. Most of the clothing on the top consisted of dirty laundry. He was surprised to find several pairs of G-string panties and thongs and some exotic looking bras.

There were several books that were obviously course materials from her classes and five pair of brand new shoes. Underneath the dirty laundry, he found the rest of her clothes looking like they had just been stuffed in to the bag. Her tops and slacks along with several pair of shorts, three bikini style bathing suits, and an opened package of panty liners were all jumbled together.

Down in the side pocket was a plastic baggie containing her wedding and engagement rings along with the ankle bracelet that the kids had given her for Mother's Day. The ankle bracelet was broken as if it had been yanked off of her leg.

Keeping the jewelry, Ray closed the bag and set it by the front door. Placing what must have been Montrell's bag on the table, he did not even hesitate before opening it to search its contents.

Envelopes full of the course material filled most of the bag but Ray was surprised to find two pairs of women's bikini underwear. By the looks of the stiff, crotches they had been soaked with sexual juice and semen before put into the bag.

There was an assortment of pills in unlabeled bottles and several baggies, larger than the ones that he found in Karen's purse, containing what he now knew were prescription drugs. Opening a fabric case, he discovered a Digital Camcorder and an assortment of DVDs. Turning on the camera, he began replaying the scenes recorded on the disk.

It appeared to be a recording of the inside of a hotel meeting room but it was hard to tell on the little screen. Using his camera already hooked up to his television set, he clicked it on and it displayed a list of recorded scenes.

Starting with the oldest one, it showed the interior of a typical hotel meeting room with Montrell standing at the front and pointing out the details of a projected image of a computer display. The camera was steady and must have been attached to a tripod. Every once in a while, the operator scanned the room and it showed that the observers were all women.

Ray recognized Karen, Adele and several other faces that appeared to be familiar. Skipping to the next scene he found it was similar to the first one as were the next few that he selected. A woman instructor took Montrell's place in several of the scenes and it appeared that someone was recording the entire course. He did not bother to pay any attention to the sound since most of it was real estate technical talk.

Expecting to find the same thing on the last scene on the DVD, he selected it anyway. After he oriented himself, he figured out that the screen showed a sideways view of the inside of a hotel room apparently illuminated only by the hallway or bathroom light. He could hear voices and after a figure crossed in front of the camera, the scene brightened when someone turned on another light.

The figure passed in front of the camera again going the other way but the lens was not pointed high enough to see a face. He could see a king sized hotel bed with several stacks of documents and books scattered about it. Several more bodies crossed by the camera and one, obviously a female, stood directly in front of it as she adjusted the neckline of her low cut dress.

A woman's voice called out, "I have to pee," and as the figure moved away from the camera, Ray realized he was looking at a mirror reflection of a hotel room with the camera lying on its side.

The voices were muffled because the camera's microphone faced the mirror. He was trying to understand what they were saying when the view of the bed was again blocked by a woman adjusting her necklace. Another woman's arm appeared and he was startled to hear Karen's voice. It was louder than the background talk since she was standing near the camera.

"I've got to get out of here," she said in a loud whisper to the woman standing next to her. "I'm in enough trouble with Ray already. I don't need any more grief."

Both women turned and faced towards the same way as a man said in a loud voice, "OK, ladies! Here are your presents."

There was much ooing and aahing and cries of, "They are so beautiful, thank you."

The girls crowded in front of the mirror adjusting what must have been Montrell's presents of necklaces and earrings. Ray doubted that they were real diamonds but they looked impressive even if they were a little flashy for his taste.

"It's party time!" Montrell's voice called out and the women moved away amidst the sounds of much chatter. He listened to the sound of doors opening and closing and then silence except for the whir of the air conditioning fan. Ray continued to watch and listen but all he saw was a still image of the hotel room until the screen went blank.

Clicking on the next scene, an image of the same room appeared on the screen along with the sounds of voices. He figured out that the camcorder must be set to activate on sound or motion and each of the scenes was a separate, automatic activation. There was no date or time stamp on the images so he was not sure when it all took place.

A male stood in front of the camera and placed several bottles of what looked like champagne on the dresser. The bottles were slightly out of focus since they were so close to the camera but he was sure of what they were. Turning his back on the camera the man removed his jacket and passed out of camera range.

Ray recognized Montrell's voice when he heard him say, "Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right out."

Ray recognized the sound of what was probably the bathroom door closing and then a woman in a sequined, blue dress stood in front of the camera and set her purse down next to it. The dress had a halter-top that was not much more than a fancy demi-bra.

The halter straps were attached to the sides of the cups and pulled her breasts up and together to better put them on display. Narrow strips of cloth with silver hoops on each end linked the bra with the skirt. There was more skin exposed than covered. The waist of the dress was cut low and he could see her hipbones above it.

The woman reached into each of her bra cups in turn, and pulled her breasts up in the cups so that their inner slopes were more exposed. From the overlapping sound of their voices, it sounded like there were three women in the room including the one standing before the mirror. He wondered if Karen was there but he could not pick out her voice from the chatter.

The woman in the mirror bent down in an apparent effort to see what her breasts looked like to other people. Ray found himself staring into Karen's face as she cupped her breasts and pushed them even farther up. Satisfied with the way her cleavage looked, she licked her lips and wetting the tip of her finger on her tongue, she smoothed her eyebrow.

When she turned to walk away, Ray could see that her back was bare except for a silver chain just below her shoulder blades holding the two sides of the halter-top together. The skirt itself barely covered her hips and it dipped so low into a vee in the back that he could see the beginning of the crease of her ass. He was not sure that she wore panties underneath the minimal skirt.

She spoke as she walked away and now Ray could distinguish her voice, "I shouldn't have had those drinks, Adele. You're supposed to stop me."

Another female's voice piped up, "Yeah! Like anyone can stop you when you set your mind to something."

"What time is it anyway?" Karen's voice got louder as she approached the camera. "Are we going clubbing or what?"

"It's not even one o'clock," a voice answered. "The night is young even if we are older."

"Well I'm not older and I'm not ready to go to sleep yet. Let's go."

Ray watched as Karen twisted her wedding and engagement rings from her finger and dropped them into her purse before she turned and walked out of the view of the camera.

"I don't believe you did that," he yelled at the screen.

Next, he heard the sound of someone knocking on a door and shouting, "Hurry up Montrell, we're ready to go. We'll meet you down in the bar off of the lobby."

The women's voices faded and he heard the hotel room door slam closed. The room was silent for a minute or two before Montrell came out dressed in a pair of boxer shorts and sat on the edge of the bed to put on his socks. He moved back and forth in the room as he completed dressing.

Ray expected him to leave the room but instead he watched as his hand lifted the camera and the screen went blank. There were no more scenes listed on the menu and Ray figured that Montrell was putting a new disk into the camera.

Ray flipped the two-sided disk over and selecting the next scene, he watched as the camera was placed back into position facing the mirror. The sound of Montrell's voice quietly singing something in Spanish was the last thing that Ray heard before the hotel room door shut behind him. Ray sat staring at the empty bed until the camera timed out.

Chapter 47

The next scene started out, as had the others, with the sound of people talking and a hotel room door closing. People passed back and forth in front of the camera and a constant chatter of voices made it hard to pick out any one person. More lights came on and he recognized Karen's blue dress and Montrell's large frame as they passed back and forth in front of the camera.

A woman's voice said, "I'm exhausted! I have to get to bed. My feet hurt from dancing in these shoes."

He could hear Karen's voice as her blue dress passed in front of the lens. "I've got to take a piss, I'll be right back."

That same woman's voice said again, "I'm leaving. Are you coming Robyn?"

"Yes, me too. Tell Karen goodnight for us. We'll see her tomorrow."

He could hear Montrell's voice saying something away from the camera just before the hotel room door closed followed by the sound of the chain lock being secured.

"Where is everybody?" Karen's off screen voice asked Montrell who was now standing next to the bed.

"They left. They're just party-poopers. They can't handle Vegas. How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired too. I'd better be going. I shouldn't be here."

"Stay and help me finish the wine, there's only a little bit left."

"Look Montrell, I told you while we were dancing. I'm a married woman and I would like to stay that way. Now, I've really got to be going. Good night."

"OK, OK, but I've wanted to talk to you and this is the first chance I've managed to get you alone," he said.

"All right, but just for a minute. What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Actually it's not so much talking as just wanting to tell you how pleased I am with the way that you picked up the training in the software course. It not only validates my training techniques but it also proves that our high opinions of you are correct."

Ray watched as Karen came back into view and stood directly in front of Montrell. He could not see her face but she appeared to be looking up at him.

"Do you really mean that?" she practically gushed.

"Yes, of course I do. In fact, I'm considering asking you to co-teach future courses with me after you get some practice under your belt."

Placing her hand on Montrell's arm she said, "I would like that. I think I'd really enjoy it. Are all of the classes held here in Vegas?"

"No, we hold them all over the country in cities like Dallas, San Diego, LA, Chicago, Seattle, and New York City. All of the big cities."

"Are they all just the one day course like we just had?"

Montrell moved out of view as he continued talking.

"No, this is just an introductory course. The advance courses last three days and if we have enough registrations, we will hold two or three courses back to back during a week or ten day's trip."

Montrell came back into view carrying a full glass of wine.

"Here, help me finish this."

"Thanks," she said and drained the glass. "But what about the real estate part of it. How would I do that too?"

"With your personality and talents you should have no trouble forming a team of assistants to keep the sales going while you are traveling. That's what I do. I don't think you realize just how brilliant you are. You will be an incredible asset to our organization and I only hope you'll never leave us."

"Thank you, Montrell. You don't know how much your praise means to me."

"I know I'm not the first one that's ever told you that. I'm sure you hear it from your husband all of the time."

"No, not really. I don't think he wants me to be a success. He tells me he does but he doesn't give me the support that I need, like you do."

"Well, it's not empty praise, it's fact and you have earned every bit of it."

Karen held onto Montrell's arm and raising herself onto her tiptoes she leaned in and Ray heard the sound of a kiss.