My Man, My Marine, My Lover! Pt. 02

Before I say good-night I have two things to address with you. First, regarding that "perfect conversation" comment in your letter, you should know you will pay for that big time! If you thought my fingers over your mouth were a problem for you...you haven't seen anything yet! I'm thinking about my "Goose and Gander Theory!" Remember that theory?? No worries, I will remind you if you have forgotten.

Second issue to be addressed is your comment about my Christmas present of the book, I'm glad you loved it and I'm even happier if that is what caused us to fight and made you think about things differently. If being mad at you made you realize you love me, then I can be mad at you all the time. Because I will love you for all time. I mentioned earlier that I have no Plan B. I will NEVER regret giving you anything! Not my time! Not my body! Not my heart! And certainly not my LOVE!

Now, enjoy my surprise! I am praying those pictures are in your hands and not someone else's, so first chance you get, send me an email confirming! Brian, KNOW I love you. Do whatever you have to do to get through things and come home.

I miss you Marine! I love you! I've said it before and I will say it again. Brian, I have loved you since I was eight; I will love you when I'm eighty. Be safe my love.

Love, Always Your Brat! Xo

P.S. Those are the only naked pictures of me since I was a toddler. Protect them! Secure them!

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To: BriansBrat@XOXO Time: 0730, 27Feb13

From: BrianMillerYourMarine@XOXO

Good Morning Baby,

What a SURPRISE!! My hand and I thank you! Seriously, we thank you! The cookies were pretty good too! Do you notice how many exclamation marks I am using! That's how good of a mood you put me in last night! In fact, you put me in a good mood three times since I received my "cookies." I will never eat another oatmeal raisin cookie without thinking of you! Please save that outfit for me. It's going into a one of those 'memory box' things and I'm going to hang it on my wall. The "cookies" however, will be kept under lock and key. I promise.

I'm sorry about the letter thing. You were right to call me on it. My mind was not in the right place. As for my comment about "regrets," I have none and I know you don't either. It's been a long six months.

Baby, your letter, your "cookies," and your cookies, did wonders for me and my mood. No worries. I have it together and I have "Unfucked" myself. (Excuse the Marine in my language, but it really does fit the situation.) My head is no longer up my Ass and my mind is clear and on business. I can always count on you to put me straight and know exactly what I need. Another thing I love about you.

Andrea, I love you. I've loved you for most of my life and then some! Thanks for being there for me when I needed you most. I'm so lucky to have you. I love you and need you in my life. Thank you for forcing me to see that!

Love, Your Marine

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To: BrianMillerYourMarine@XOXO Time: 0055, 27Feb13

From: BriansBrat@XOXO

Hello My Love,

Good Morning to you! Good night for me! I'm glad I didn't shut down the computer. I was hoping to hear from

you soon. It sounds like you enjoyed your surprise and your "cookies", and your cookies. Three times! Wow! You're damn right I'm saving that outfit, but it will be worn if it works so well. I could use "three times" right now! I miss you so much. I miss you mentally, physically, and yes sexually! Mostly, I just miss being able to talk to you, hear your voice, and hold those big beautiful strong hands of yours. Ok, there are a few other things I miss, but you didn't send me any "cookies" to work with. Any chance of that happening???? Please!!

I'm glad you are in a better frame of mind. I'm glad you, excuse my Marine lingo, "Unfucked" yourself. Remember what I said. CLOSE IT DOWN if you need to. We'll fix it when you get home. There is nothing we can't do together.

Just so you know, I'm saving your email in a dozen different files and I'm keeping a hard copy. This way, when you start to give me a hard time about something, I can pull it out and read where you said, "You always know what I need. You always know how to straighten me out." I don't know why you never listened to me sooner. Oh! Wait, yes I do. It's because of your stubborn know it all asinine behavior. Thank God I love that about you! Along with everything else.

Have a good day my love. Be safe! Take care of yourself for me.

Love, Always Your Brat! Xo

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To: BriansBrat@XOXO Time: 0750, 27Feb13

From: BrianMillerYourMarine@XOXO

I tell you I love you and need you. I tell you that you are the best thing in my life and keep me going. What do you focus on??? How you will save my emails and use my words in future blackmail??? What happened to all of those psychology classes you took? There is something seriously wrong with your thinking baby. I never realized just how devious you are! First you plan on using my Mom's Intel against me and now my own words. Are you sure you are in the right field? Maybe "law" or "mergers and acquisitions" would be better suited to your subterfuge.

Love, Your Highly Skilled in Hand to Hand Combat and Interrogation Marine

Love You! Brian

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To: BrianMillerYourMarine@XOXO Time: 0120, 27Feb13

From: BriansBrat@XOXO

Oh My Dearest Marine,

I am a woman. That fact alone trumps most everything that you have been trained to deal with physically or mentally. I will use whatever tools I need to in order to keep you in line. Never underestimate me Marine! I am full of surprises! As for your "hand to hand combat," I too enjoy a certain amount of knowledge when it comes to "hand to hand" movements!! And I think you know that I am not talking about "knife hands." As for "Interrogation techniques" bring them on Marine, I look forward to your "skills" being put into action. You will find I can be as slippery as a "rhythmic serpent," if the need arises. ; p

Love Always, Your Brat xo

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I never realized how much I really missed Brian until the night before my birthday. It was just before the start of spring break and I was sitting in my room finishing up some research notes. I looked at the date on the computer and I couldn't believe it was the night before my birthday and I hadn't even realized it until that moment. Brian was always the first to acknowledge my birthday when we were younger. He would tease me for the entire week beforehand. He was merciless with his comments and teasing.

"So, are you going to have a clown at your birthday party this year? Maybe some pony rides for the kiddies?" He would tease. Ok, so one year my Mom did have pony rides, but they were fun and I was only nine. Brian never let me forget it. If that didn't work he would try to make me mad by pointing out the fact that I was "just a kid" and he was so much "more mature." The only problem with his theory was he was never acting very mature when he said it.

Brian would always come through in the end. My birthday would come around and he would give me a wonderful gift that always had some personal meaning between the two of us. His cards were always nice and he would often write something sweet in them. Looking back now, I should have known that even then he cared about me.

On my thirteenth birthday, he gave me a lock and key journal. It was beautiful. It was a dark brown leather covered book with an embossed butterfly on the cover. His card said, "Brat, you are growing up now. Thirteen is the year you leave being a kid and start becoming a young woman. Spread your wings and fly my butterfly, you are no longer a caterpillar. You should keep a journal. Just don't write about me in it! Happy Birthday, Brian"

I asked his Mom if she picked it out for me. She said, "No, honey. It was Brian. I didn't even know he remembered your birthday until he came down and asked me for some tape to wrap your gift. I have to say, I was impressed he remembered. I was more impressed by the gift he chose for you. Did you like it?"

Like it, I slept with that journal under my mattress for the next two years. That was how long it took me to fill each and every page of it. If Brian only knew how many of my entries included something about him, he would have killed me. Although, he must have known he would be a main character in it. He was a main character in my life, so why would my journal be any different. Someday I will have to pull it out of storage and read some of it to him.

As if he heard me, the next morning I received my birthday card and letter from Brian in the mail. I lay back down on my bed as I started to read it. God, I missed my man. I didn't think it would be this bad.

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2130, 10April13

My Dearest Brat,

If I have timed this letter correctly, it should arrive shortly before your birthday. Happy Birthday Baby! I wish I were there to celebrate it with you. I wish I were there just to be with you. I miss you so much. Sometimes I wonder why I held back my feelings for so long. Denied us both the time that could have been spent making memories, time that could have been spent making love to each other. Now, if I could get that part of our lives back, I would spend each and every minute of it with you.

You can't possibly know how much I miss you. I wish you were in my arms. I wish I could feel the softness of your body against mine. I wish I could feel the curves of your body as my hand stroked along your side. The warmth of you, the smell of you, the taste of you, and the feel of being "with" you is all I think of every morning and every night. You fill my thoughts, as you fill my heart.

I want you so bad Andrea, so very bad. I miss everything about you. I miss everything about us. I'm sorry I will miss your birthday. I will make it up to you when I get back home. I will make a lot up to you when I get back home.

Things here are still crazy. It seems like "we" have been here for years, yet I know it's only been several months. This place gives new meaning to "God forsaken." I hate to say it, but "the bigger we" haven't made much of a difference here. The "locals" can't agree amongst themselves what they want. How the hell are "we" (the bigger we) supposed to help them?

The old saying, "You can predict future behavior based on past acts and history" is only too true here. After more than a decade here, I don't think things have progressed much. It will be interesting to see how things go after the withdrawal of troops occurs. History is a bitch and tends to repeat itself. We shall see.

Enough about "shop talk" as you say. I'm writing to tell you Happy Birthday! I wish I could give you your birthday gift in person, but that isn't on the cards for this year. I wrote my Mom a while ago and had her take care of something for me. When you go home for Spring break, stop over at my house. My Mom has your birthday gift from me. I hope you enjoy it. It was the best I could do to give you something you asked me for a little while ago. When I get home, I will add to it for you.

I miss you. I love you. I have loved you most of my life and then some. Happy Birthday Baby!

Love Always, Your Marine

Your Brian

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The following week I went home for Spring break. I couldn't wait to see my parents. I missed Brian so much and only seeing them could help to cover the gap in my heart. It couldn't fill the missing piece of my heart, but it could help cover the pain for a while. Being home was like being held in a warm loving embrace. Everything was familiar and comforting.

The house was a home, not simply a room to live in for a while. My Mom and Dad were there for me and just hearing them talk to me or to each other was comforting. Sleeping in my own room and my own bed was like being with an old friend. It was two days before I even wanted to go over to Brian's house to see his parents. On one hand, I couldn't wait to see them and to see my gift from Brian. On the other hand, I didn't want to be reminded that he wasn't there and that I wasn't the only one missing him. It sounds selfish and maybe it was, but that was how I felt.

Finally, that afternoon, I walked across the yard and knocked on the back door. Mrs. Miller answered and gave me a big smile. Then she gave me a big hug and said, "It's alright honey, I know." I could tell by the look on her face that she understood my delay in coming over to see them. She knows me too well and there was no reason for me to lie, so I told her the truth.

"I'm sorry I took so much time before coming over. I just needed to be home with my parents for a while and get myself together. I've been a little out of sorts lately."

"Come on and let's sit down and talk. I made some cookies and I'll get you something to drink. What do you want honey?" She just looked and smiled at me and I felt like I was eight years old again.

"I'll just have a bottle of water if you have any Mrs. M. and of course some of your cookies." I smiled back at her.

She brought over the bottle of water and I immediately opened it and started to drink. She placed the platter of cookies in front of me and started to take off the plastic wrap covering.

"They're oatmeal raisin, Brian's favorite, but you know that."

She looked at me as I started to choke on the water I could no longer swallow. When she said, "oatmeal raisin" all I could think of was Brian saying, "I will never look at an oatmeal raisin cookie again without thinking of you." Of course he really meant "without thinking of your naked pictures." I couldn't stop choking and water came spurting out of my mouth as I coughed.

"Honey, are you all right? What happened, did the water go down the wrong pipe?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I just swallowed and it went down the wrong way." Of course, my face was red as a beet, but luckily she thought it was from choking and not my embarrassing thoughts. If she only knew what her little boy would be thinking of every time she made him oatmeal cookies from now on, she would switch to chocolate chip.

We talked for a while and then Mrs. Miller went up to get my birthday gift from Brian. She came down with this box all wrapped in beautiful pale pink and white stripes. She had another silk ribbon tied around it and a big white flower on top of the bow.

"Brian wrote to me a few weeks ago and asked me to take care of his gift for you. He sent me a sealed envelope to put in the gift for you. So, here you go. He left instructions for you to follow. I have them here. She handed me the instruction sheet and a set of keys.

"What are these?" I looked at her confused. Why was she giving me keys?

"They are Brian's keys to his jeep and to the lake cabin. Once you read his instructions, it will all make sense. Now, you need to go honey. I love you and Happy Birthday. I'll see you in a day or so and give you my birthday gift then. Now it is time for you to follow the instructions for Brian's gift." As she finished her sentence, she got up from the table and walked me to the door.

"Don't forget honey, open the instructions and follow them before you open anything else." She winked at me.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but it was something that Brian had planned so I was going to do exactly as he wanted me to. I took the keys she gave me, the gift box, and the envelope with the instructions and I went home. I took everything up stairs to my bedroom. I shut my door and went over to the bed. I hesitated before opening the envelope. Then, I just said, do it the way he wants you to. He did this for a reason.

I started to read the instructions Brian had left for me and tears started to flow as I could hear his voice in every written word.

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Hello my Beautiful Brat!

Happy Birthday Baby! I know you debated opening your gift first. Didn't you? Don't lie to me, I know you did. I'm hoping you thought better of it and decided to do things my way. If so, you are just sitting on your bed now, reading my directions. I'm right aren't I? I know you better than you think. Now wipe those eyes and no more tears. This is supposed to make you happy when you think of me, not sad.

Mom and Dad helped me a little since I'm not there to take care of things myself, but know that I thought long and hard about how I could make this birthday a special one for you. You are so special to me, that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I want you to know that. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.

I had a little help from your Mom too. So, go to your closet and open the door. There is a packed overnight bag on the floor. Pick it up and take it with you downstairs. Don't forget to take your present with you also. My Mom should have given you the keys to my jeep. They also have the key to the lake cabin on the key ring. Everyone knows you will be gone overnight and won't return until late tomorrow. Now, I want you to get in the jeep and drive to the lake cabin. Drive safe Baby. I'll talk to you when you get there.

Happy Belated Birthday! I Love you! Brian XO

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I did as he asked. Questioning in my head what he had planned. He must have really been working on this for a while since he had to contact both of our parents to aid him in his birthday surprise. I was moved, impressed, and a little worried about what he had set into motion. None of my concerns stopped me from following his request though. I was in the jeep with my birthday gift and headed to the lake cabin.

It was a nice Spring afternoon. I left the house about two o'clock and figured I would arrive at the cabin around three thirty or so. As I got closer, I became more excited about what Brian had planned. If he went through all of this trouble, it was going to be something really different and really good. I started to get that "I can't wait" feeling. It's the one where your heart picks up a few beats, your stomach feels like it is flipping over on itself, and you get goose bumps all over. Well, that's what I was feeling like.

I was in such a hurry to get there, I had to keep reminding myself of the speed limit before I got pulled over and cited for speeding. The closer I got, the faster my heart started to beat. Finally, I reached the lake access road and turned the jeep down through the pine tree covered path. As the sun light peeked through the trees, I could see the sun fairies dancing in the light beams.

It was in that moment, an odd feeling came over me. I felt a shiver run through me and it felt like my heart stopped for a second. It was a very eerie feeling and then it was gone. As I broke through the tree line, I could see the cabin. I pulled up next to it and parked the jeep. I was in the exact spot that Brian proclaimed his love for this lake and cabin the last time we were here. I could hear his voice whispering in my ear as if he were standing right next to me. I heard the same exact words he said to me before he left.