My Michelle

"What are you trying to say?" I said, my voice cracking a bit.

"You need to get your life back together. I'm not sure how you can do that, but it has to happen. What I would suggest is that you take a leave of absence, perhaps three months or so and find some way to get your life back on track. You might need to seek professional counseling or perhaps you can find some other means, but it has to happen if you expect to continue here with us. We are more than willing to help you as far as we can, but we can only do so much. I also suggest that you kick the booze, it's not helping you and in the end it's only going to hurt you more."

I know he was trying to help me, but right now I felt like a small child being chastised by a parent. One part of my brain wanted to lash out, to yell and scream and break things but the other part of my brain was just too tired to expend the effort. I stood there silent for several minutes, weighing my options as Stewart waited for my answer.

"I'm not sure how I will do it, but I will get myself together. I appreciate what you and everyone here have done for me, perhaps more than I can express, but I do appreciate it all the same. I'm not sure how much time I want to take off, but I think the idea of a leave of absence is best for now. I'll keep in touch and let you know how things are progressing with me. Thanks for everything you've done." I heard myself saying, it certainly was more logical than I felt I was capable of at this moment.

"I wish you all the best Lee, we all do." He said before turning and leaving the office.

Now what? I wasn't sure what to do or where to go. Some small voice in the back of my head told me that I did need some kind of help but I had no idea what that help might be or where to go to find it. Right now I felt a sense of loss almost as bad as the day I had lost Michelle. First my wife, and now he had almost told me that my job was done. What else could possibly happen? I needed a drink.

Not knowing when or if I might be back here, I decided to collect my few personal items from my desk and take them with me. I didn't keep much here of my own but there were a few items that I thought I should take along. I had a few trinkets and they found their way into my briefcase as I continued looking around the office before I slowly opened the bottom drawer of my desk. I had taken Michelle's picture off the desk my first day back, having her beautiful face smiling at me each time I looked at it was just too painful for me to deal with. That picture had been on my desk almost as long as I had known her and I had put it in my desk drawer in the hope that someday I might get to the point where once again I could display it. Holding the picture in my hands I felt the tears coming to my eyes and fought hard to keep my composure. I took several seconds to stare at her, I did not want to forget how she looked but soon I placed it into my briefcase and was ready to leave.

Driving home, I had the urge to stop at the bar and get a drink but knowing I had a half bottle of scotch at home waiting for me, I was able to resist the urge. Despite the alcohol becoming my new best friend, I knew that driving under the influence was wrong and I'm not sure how I might have dealt with myself if I had caused the death of another, perhaps someone's wife, who would be living in his own hell after that action. That's not something I could live with and that thought alone enabled me to limit my drinking to when I was home and when I knew I would not be driving in the near future. I drove the few miles to my house by habit, I don't remember anything about the trip as my mind was again consumed by emotions I couldn't control and barely understood. First my wife and now maybe my job and career. Why was this happening to me, I didn't think I had done anything to deserve any of this.

*****

I unlocked the door and walked into the house, the smell of dinner cooking on the stove the first sensation I noticed. I walked toward the kitchen after setting my briefcase down in the front hallway and Michelle was there at the stove, working on dinner.

"How was your day sweetie?" She asked, looking back over her shoulder as she heard me enter the room.

"I don't know, kind of crappy I guess." I answered out of habit, not really putting any thought into my response.

"I'm sorry to hear that, you can tell me all about it over dinner." She said before returning to her task.

What the hell was happening? This is crazy I thought, was I going insane? Had I just awakened from a 3 month bad dream? I really needed that drink now. I went to the cabinet to get the bottle of scotch, but it wasn't there. I was sure I had put it there last night before going to bed, but I was pretty well hammered so I wasn't absolutely certain. I opened and closed several other cabinets as I looked for the bottle, but did not find it in any of them.

"Are you looking for something over there?" Michelle asked as she noticed me searching through the cabinets.

Neither of us had been very big drinkers and I did not want to tell her that I might be on my way to alcoholism, she didn't need to know I was looking for a drink.

"Nothing. I guess I'm just wondering what we have here right now." I knew it didn't sound very intelligent, but it was all I could think of at the moment.

"Don't worry about it honey, if you need anything just let me know." She said without turning. "Dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes, why don't you put your coat and tie away and put your slippers on, I'm sure it will help to make you feel better."

Still uncertain what was reality and what was approaching insanity, I did as she suggested and went to the bedroom to hang up my coat. As soon as I entered the room I could smell the odor of her perfume, something I thought had disappeared months earlier. I looked around and everything was familiar, although I did notice the black dress that I had left hanging on the closet door was gone. Maybe she had taken it to the dry cleaners I thought, but I had to shake my head and wonder how or why. I hung my jacket in the closet and took off the tie, but forgetting the slippers, I went into the living room and sat to ponder. I looked about the house and everything appeared to be in place, although things seemed to be a bit cleaner and neater. I know I had let the housekeeping slip badly but it looked as though that had been remedied at some point during the day today.

"Come on in, it's on the table." She announced from the kitchen.

I walked in slowly, still not certain everything would disappear at any second. Was I dreaming or maybe I had stopped at that bar on the way and just had too much to remember. I didn't know.

"So what happened today at work that made it seem so crappy?" She started as we each sat to eat.

"I don't know, just things." I said, not sure what to say or how to explain that I might not have a job.

"Oh come on, you can explain better than that." She said, looking into my face before she started to eat.

"Well, things haven't been going well at work for me, I don't know I just, just can't seem to get into it anymore." I started.

"What does that mean? You think you might want to go somewhere else? Maybe a career change?" She asked in a gentle way, it didn't really sound like an interrogation.

"I'm not sure, Stewart wants me to take some time off to figure out exactly what I want to do." I finally said.

"He didn't fire you did he?" She asked with a bit of surprise on her face.

"No, he said he didn't want to, but I think that is a possibility if I can't decide what I'm going to do here soon." I had been talking to her more comfortably now, although not nearly so much so as we used to speak three months ago. Three months ago... Was I really sitting and talking to my wife? She seemed real enough, although I hadn't touched her and in some small way was afraid that if I reached out my hand, it might go through her as though a ghost or perhaps the whole scene would disappear into darkness. Finding a bit of courage although I did still show some hesitation, I reached my hand out and put it on hers. She smiled back at me before answering "whatever you decide, I'll support you. You know I'm here for you right?"

She was real enough, at least I thought so. Her hand was warm and her touch still felt good. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at me and her smile was exactly the same as it had been every other time I had looked at her. I was starting to hope against hope that this was reality and that the past three months had been some sort of a bad dream.

"I'm not sure about a lot of things right now, but I do appreciate you being here for me." I said softly, my eyes starting to get a bit wet.

"Don't worry honey, I know we can work it out. Let Michelle take good care of you. I have just the thing to help you out." She said suggestively, squeezing my hand.

I knew what the old Michelle would have been suggesting with that comment, but could she be suggesting we spend time together in bed? My curiosity was piqued, but I didn't want to spoil the moment by asking.

Dinner was good, I hadn't really tasted much of the food I had eaten over the past few months so this was a pleasant change. Michelle always was a good cook and I had always enjoyed whatever she fixed. After we finished I volunteered to help clean up the kitchen, but she wouldn't let me. I took a quick look toward the sink which had been filled with a weeks worth of dishes this morning when I left the house, but it was empty but for several pots she had used to cook tonight's dinner.

"Why don't you go wait for me in the living room or else you can go straight to the bedroom if you can think of something we might do their together." She said with a soft laugh as she brushed my arm and then started putting dishes into the dishwasher.

Her suggestion sounded good to me, but I still had to wonder what was happening. All of my senses told me I was experiencing things just as they had been months ago, but my mind was screaming that something was wrong. Could I believe my eyes and my nose and my hands or should I try to look for some explanation that would prove none of this was real. My emotions were fighting with the logic in my brain, and right now I wasn't sure which would win out. Deep down I hoped the emotional side was right, but somehow I knew that the argument against this offered some merit as well. I tried to forget my concerns as I went into the living room and sat, waiting for her to finish in the kitchen and come to join me.

Michelle soon came out and saw me sitting on the sofa, she arched her eyebrows in surprise.

"I guess my hint was a little too subtle for you, I really expected you to be waiting for me in the bedroom." She laughed, the same laugh I remembered.

"I don't know, maybe I just have too much on my mind right now." I suggested, hoping she wouldn't try to read too much into it.

"Well, why don't you join me in the bedroom? Is that direct enough?" She said pointedly as she held out her hand to me.

I reached for her hand and she helped pull me off of the sofa and then led me into the bedroom. As I watched, she unbuttoned her blouse and threw it toward the clothes hamper before turning away from me. I stood behind her, not quite certain what to do when she looked over her shoulder and asked "Aren't you going to unhook my bra for me?"

I slowly reached forward and grasped the straps before unhooking it, it had been a while since I had done this but I had not forgotten how. She shrugged out of it and it fell to the floor, she kicked it toward the blouse by the hamper and stood there without saying a word. I was hesitant and waited to see what she would do next.

"Well? You unhooked the bra, what happened to that grope I get? Don't you like playing with my tits any more?" She said with a soft giggle, before looking over her shoulder to see my reaction to her words.

I had thought to do just that, but at this moment my hands didn't seem to want to obey my mind's direction. Once she had raised the subject though I did reach around and slowly closed my hands around her warm breasts, they were just as I had remembered them. I squeezed and massaged gingerly, I still wasn't sure about what I was doing.

"You can do a better job than that, can't you?" She said, placing her hands atop mine and pushing them hard into her breasts. I could feel the nipples getting harder as they pushed into my palms as I put more effort into my task, now getting more involved.

"Now that's how you should play with my tits!" She said, leaning back into me and continuing to direct my hands.

After several minutes of fondling her breasts, she pulled my hands away and turned to face me, wrapping her arms around my torso and pulling herself close before kissing me deeply. I was almost expecting the cold feel of her lips that I remembered from the last time I saw her lying in the coffin but I fought the memory, they certainly weren't cold as she responded and became more passionate quickly. Any thoughts about how this couldn't logically be happening immediately left me, my only feeling now was that of a hot willing woman in my arms.

We kissed for several minutes, our passion and arousal growing by the second. I had forgotten the feel of her tongue in my mouth and tried desperately to feel every nuance, to explore every cell of her tongue with my own. I had also found her breasts again, I was squeezing them and tweaking the nipples as she moaned with each new feeling. After several minutes like this, we pulled apart and looked at each other, each flushed with arousal and fire in our eyes.

"Are you going to help me finish getting out of these clothes?" Michelle asked with an aroused giggle, but I had reached for her almost before she finished speaking. It was as though I was reading her mind, she didn't need to ask. She had kicked off her shoes just as I reached for the belt before unbuckling it, unsnapping her dress pants and then unzipping them prior to pulling them to her feet. She had to wiggle her ass a bit to get them past her hips, but I didn't complain, I enjoyed seeing every curve of her body. She lifted one leg and then the other as I removed the pants, she took them from my hand and threw them toward the other clothes she had already removed. Her panties came next, white cotton but that's what she normally wore to work.

"What about you now?" She said with a sly smile, reaching to help unbutton my shirt which quickly came off and found its way into the pile of clothes on the floor. It wasn't long before she had me just as naked as she was, each of us looking at the other's body with anticipation.

We again came together in a hug, our lips finding each other quickly and once again our tongues dueled passionately. Michelle literally pulled me toward the bed, although our mouths did not lose contact with each other. When we reached the bed, she did let go her lip lock on me before pushing me down onto my back. I hit the bed and swung my legs around until I was lying flat before she straddled my thighs and bent down to reestablish our kiss, my hard cock crushed between our straining bodies. We continued to explore each other's body with hands and lips and tongue as our arousal grew even more. I could feel the perspiration on her body, I was moving my hands up and down her back and then across the cheeks of her ass as I pulled her crotch hard into my own in anticipation. It didn't take long before each of us was ready but Michelle made the first move, she lifted up and away from my torso before grabbing my hard cock in her hands and aiming it directly between her pussy lips. As she slipped down onto me and impaled herself, a quick flash of how long it had been since I had known this feeling went through my mind, but then it was gone and replaced with a thought that my cock fit inside just as well as it ever had. Any thoughts of romantic and intimate were quickly gone, she had started sliding almost as soon as she felt me inside of her, she was moving faster and squeezing each time she slid up before letting her weight carry her back down. I hadn't forgotten how, I was thrusting up to meet each of her slides down and in mere seconds we had reestablished are well practiced rhythm.

"Give it to me Lee, I need it so bad!" She said in a Husky voice as she continued rocking and sliding.

She didn't have to say, but her call to me only added to my own excitement. I was holding onto her hips and helping her to jam herself hard onto my shaft each time she slid back down, but my eyes were focused on her bouncing tits, her light Brown nipples hard and puckered as though awaiting my touch. I was torn, should I continue helping her slide up and down or should I reach up and grab the tits even though I had been fondling them for several minutes before we started here. Or, maybe I should pull her down to me and get them into my mouth. So many choices but I knew we had all night and each option would be explored long before the dawn.

Michelle had been moaning and grunting as had I, the feel was so intense that the sound of our crotches slamming together and the odor of hot sex was the only thing each of us was aware of, except of course for the burning of our genitals. That would change very quickly, I could already feel the tingling in my loins that let me know I would be depositing something of myself deep into her womb. Michelle was also aware that I was getting very close, not only was my cock swelling inside her hot pussy, our minds were again in tune and I didn't have to say anything to let her know. Still, I managed to grunt out my approaching climax just before she felt it deep inside of her.

"Here it comes baby, hot and wet just for you!"

Michelle tried to respond, but was unable to form words as she started to shudder and convulse on my stiff cock, her movements had become more erratic and I could feel her vaginal muscles gripping my cock in orgasmic paralysis. She tried to continue sliding but was unable and before she totally lost control, I reached up and pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and holding tight.

She lay atop me shuddering, whimpering and moaning each time a new aftershock swept through her body. She had always been vocal with her orgasm, tonight was no different as she continued to moan her pleasure.

"That felt so good! I came a lot sooner than I expected, but I don't think you're going to complain about that." She laughed once she had regained her voice.

"I'll never complain about it, I'm so glad I was able to make you feel good." I answered, still breathing hard myself.

"Hold me Lee, hold me like this all night." She murmured softly, nuzzling my neck with her lips.

"Do you just want me to hold you, or would you like to do this again?" I laughed, I was starting to loosen up.

"Let me see, it's such a hard decision." She said trying to maintain a straight face but without any success.

"You let me know when you're ready and we'll do it again, there's plenty of time for holding later." I made the decision for us.

"Okay, if you say so..." She said with a smile.

We made love several times more that evening, each time was intimate and romantic without the frantic urgency of the first. We were comfortable with the other and it just felt natural, my cock fit her just as well as it ever had and I told her that so many times I lost count. She didn't have to answer because she knew. We managed to drag ourselves out of bed once the light started coming in through the Windows, neither of us had gotten any sleep all night.

"Will you join me in the shower, my dear?" I asked as I helped to pull her out of the bed.

"Do you really have to ask?" She answered as we walked together into the bathroom before joining each other under the hot water. We soaped up and rubbed our bodies across each other, casually teasing and fooling around until the hot water ran out. We each put on robes before going into the kitchen where Michelle cooked a wonderful breakfast before we went back to bed, this time to sleep.