Out of Sorts

"Shh, I could never be mad at you. Now, why don't you both get ready for dinner, pizza guy should be here soon."

Draven gave a yip of excitement before shifting to his human form. "Sweet."

Uncle Gage took my chin in his hand, lifting it, my eyes following suit and meeting his own, "Daniel it's fine to be wary, under the circumstances it is the best way to protect yourself, but don't let your own fear ruin what you know and what your instincts told you yesterday."

"I liked him yesterday."

"Then maybe you will like him tomorrow, get to know him first then make a decision."

"He probably won't want to talk to me after the way I acted today."

Kissing the top of my head he whispered, "Give him time and give him a chance. Then you can at least say you tried."

Nodding I hugged him tight. "I love you Uncle Gage."

"Love you too."

Having shifted back, Draven's wolf climbed on top of me licking my face and making me giggle. "Yeah, yeah love you too!"

The next day drug on endlessly, but I weathered it. By the time I got to the class me and Gray shared, I was pretty nervous, I really did want to apologize to Gray for acting weird, but he was the last to arrive and the first to leave, he wouldn't look at me either. By the end of school I felt like a loser.

Gray was at Draven's truck when I came out of the school, both he and my brother apparently scented me because their head's turned in my direction. Gray said something else and then took off toward the student parking lot before I could even get within a hundred feet of him.

"Hey."

I mumbled a greeting as I climbed in.

Draven glanced over at me while driving us out of the parking lot. "You ok?"

"He wouldn't even talk to me today," I said in a choked whisper. "He probably thinks I'm a loser like everyone else does."

His head snapped to the side to glare at me. "Like hell you are!"

Surprised by his vehemence I just sat there not knowing what else to say.

With a sigh he shook his head. "He doesn't think that."

'Yeah right,' I muttered under my breath, but not under enough.

"Hey, seriously he noticed you seemed upset during class and was afraid of making it worse."

"Oh, ok." I looked out my window wondering if there was any hope of something more happening.

We hadn't really spoken for a few days and I was wondering if that one conversation would be the only one we shared. Today was extra tiresome because of semester tests. I was headed down the hall towards English when I saw him coming toward me with Mackenzie. She was talking nonstop as they walked.

"So then David told Sabrina he had enough of her and her drama and then texted her that he wanted to break up."

"Hey Daniel, I like your t-shirt" he said as we passed each other in the hall.

"Hi," looking down I realized I was wearing one of my Sheldon shirts from Big Bang Theory.

Now if I were able to see my own face I'm sure it would reveal a giant puppy dog smile just from those simple words. That is until Mackenzie decided to put in her two cents.

"That was nice of you. I feel so sorry for him. His face being permanently damaged and all, he's kind of scary looking don't you..."

I unconsciously whimpered having heard that I was scary and pitiable. My smile disappeared as I quietly made my way to class.

She was right of course. I often wondered how people would perceive my scars and now I knew. No one in their right mind would go near me, not now. I had been average before the attack, but now, now I was tragic.

By the end of class I just wanted to escape, unfortunately my crush was waiting for me as I tried to leave. Pulling me into an alcove he frowned. "You overheard our conversation didn't you?"

My eyes were downcast and filled with pain.

Releasing a frustrated sigh he continued. "I'm sorry. I'm sure she'd be upset if she knew. Unfortunately her voice is so high dogs from three county's over can hear it," rolling his eyes he squeezed my shoulder.

Nodding I dropped my shoulders dejectedly.

"You're not scary looking, at least that's my opinion. You were kind of cute before but now you've got this bad boy look about you." Tilting his head he tried to catch my eye. "It's just we know you were attacked so we feel bad about it."

Biting my lip I frowned. "Uh huh." A surge of anger and injustice had me speak my mind before my brain could override it. "Like you'd ever date a guy that looks like me."

It took a moment just one before his mouth opened and his eyes widened in shock, "You're gay?"

And then silence. The halls that had been somewhat noisy were instantly silenced as people stopped and stared.

Slapping a hand over his mouth he squeezed his eyes shut, knowing that he had just outted me.

My eyes shimmered with tears.

"Daniel, I'm so fucking sorry," he whispered as the voices began to grow again while fingers flew across phones texting the gossip for miles.

"I know." Looking up briefly I sighed. He was so handsome and obviously straight. My life was turning into its own version of 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'. "I should get going, Draven's waiting for me."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "See ya tomorrow?" It sounded like a question, not really sure if that was his intention or not, but I nodded.

When I climbed into the cab of the truck I was shaking. Draven frowned at me as he put it in gear.

"S'up bro?"

Shaking my head I turned to stare out the window.

When we got to the house I went and sat on the back porch soda in hand staring out at the woods.

I must have been out there a few hours because my uncle came out with a beer taking a seat next to me.

He didn't say a word, just wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

We sat there on the porch swing for a while before Draven stepped outside.

"Dinner's ready."

My uncle kissed my forehead and then repeated the gesture with Draven as he stepped inside.

"Hey big brother, you coming?"

Shaking my head no I just stayed outside on the swing.

About a half hour later my brother's wolf came outside sitting next to my leg he rested his head on my lap.

My hand moved of its own volition. Turns out petting my brother calms me as well. We sat there for the longest my eyes focused on the stars my hand stroking his fur.

Dad stuck his head out the door briefly, "Boys its bed time."

I looked up through glassy eyes and saw my father step toward me.

"Daniel, what's wrong?"

It was then that I just broke down unable to take it anymore. "I'm gay," I sobbed having lost complete control of my emotions. Not a good way to open this particular discussion but better than hiding it I guess.

My father's reaction wasn't exactly what I had expected, he didn't look angry just bemused.

"Alright."

I shook my head in confusion. "You're not surprised or, or mad?"

He sighed taking a seat next to me. Scratching his close trimmed beard he looked into my eyes; they were a similar shade of green as my own. A resemblance that had given my mother false hope, I suppose.

"Not really. I have three healthy sons. Two are wolves, one is human all are safe and sound that's all that matters to me."

"Oh," my tears had suddenly stopped as I studied his face. "Dad?"

"Hmm," he was staring at me with a look of concern.

"D-does it bother you, having me for a son?" I probably didn't want to know the answer to this question but at the same time couldn't help asking it none-the-less.

He released a sigh looking sad at first and then resigned.

I was fidgeting nervously as we sat.

"For years it did, I guess. At first Sheila said you were mine, then there was also the chance that you were Gage's. I was so angry that she used my brother and played me for a fool that I couldn't see anything else. Draven and Dillon's mother was a diversionary tactic, my rebound to give me back my pride, so to speak. The boys were born and soon my life revolved around them. It wasn't until I saw you in that hospital bed so frail and broken that I finally realized you weren't even a wolf and couldn't be mine. That hurt even after all these years realizing she had not only cheated on me, but my brother as well with a lowly human."

I flinched at his comment and he patted my shoulder reassuringly.

"No son I don't mean it that way. We shifters we're not lacking in pride yet your mother retained the power to shred mine. It was a direct hit to my ego."

"I'm sorry she hurt you. I-I guess me being around kind of rubs it in huh?" Frowning I glance up at him.

Brushing a tear from my face that I hadn't been aware of he smiled, "No. I've never seen Sheila in you. You're kind, gentle, fiercely loyal and brave. That's what I see when I look at you."

"But I'm weak," I mumble, "and you guys aren't. I don't have your height or strength or looks. I don't know where I fit in."

My father gave me a megawatt smile. The first thing that went through my head was damn he's good looking when he's not frowning.

"I do. You fit in this family. It's taken me a long time, but make no mistake son, you have always been wanted and loved. Gage has adored you since the very first ultrasound."

Taking a deep breath Dad lowered his eyes while the comforting baritone of his voice trembled. "He really wanted to be your father Daniel. At the hospital after the attack he even told me that he loved you and was keeping you."

I looked up my smile somewhat shaky. "I-I remember that. I overheard your conversation at least some of it."

Frowning he released a sigh, "I'm proud that you're my son Daniel, but at the same time, I feel guilty knowing Gage has always loved you. He's been a better father to you than I ever have."

My eyes began to water but I tried to keep it together for a little longer. "Better late than never," I whispered my face hopeful.

Draven's wolf licked my hand, while dad leaned over to pet him.

Dad nodded the tension in his eyes easing a bit.

A change of subject was definitely in order and he seized the opportunity to do just that. "So," my father began, "what happened today that has you all upset?"

"A kid in my class he-he," I took a quick breath my voice quivering, "he outted me in the hallway between classes."

Draven growled, while my dad narrowed his eyes, "on purpose?"

Shaking my head I sighed, "No, he was just surprised and said it really loud, then everyone went quiet."

"You just can't catch a break in this world can you son?"

Frowning I whispered, "No, guess not."

"Have you ever taken theatre arts?"

Tilting my head I frowned at him, "Yeah, in middle school."

Giving me a wolfish grin he muttered, "Good, you're gonna need it to get through tomorrow. Just stand up straight and proud, look people in the eye, intimidate them before they can utter a word. Remember you're a wolf!"

"Or at the very least I have one. Don't I boy?" Leaning down I let Draven lick my face.

Dad gave a small chuckle noticing how affectionate his son's wolf was with me.

"Yeah I'd say you have four wolves willing to back you up, although I'm sure your school has a policy about wild animals on campus."

"Stupid school," I muttered.

Coming to his feet dad looked down at me, "Come on son, we both have a bunch of b.s. to tackle tomorrow and it will be easier if we get some sleep."

I nodded.

Uncle Gage was leaning against the wall just inside the door when we came through.

"Night dad, night uncle."

Draven shifted back to himself in the living room, calling back his own good nights.

"I'm going up the stairs first," I muttered to no one in particular.

Draven gave a curious look with a tilt of his head. "Okay," he said stretching the word out to its fullest potential. "What's the big deal about going up the stairs?"

I rolled my eyes, "Because I have no desire to see your naked ass sashaying up them."

Draven burst out laughing. "Alrighty then. After you big brother."

The next day came with conversations that stopped when I walked into a room. Some assholes even whistled. I tried my damnedest not to take offense and sit quietly but it was difficult, by the time my class with Gray came along I was exhausted.

"Hey."

I looked up to see his beautiful eyes focused on me. "Hi."

"I'm really, really sorry Daniel."

Shrugging I release a sigh. "Doesn't matter."

The teacher started talking and I turned to focus on her blocking out all else.

After class he grabbed my arm holding me back for a minute. "Are you ok?"

I looked into his eyes biting my lip nervously, "Not really."

Blue shifted to gold wide with surprise, "Is it anyone in particular, just tell me and I'll take care of it for you." Crossing his arms he assumed a very defensive stance.

I blinked then laughed a little, "Down boy," I murmured, reaching up to scratch behind his ear.

The look of shock on his face was priceless not realizing until right then that I knew the truth.

Biting back a small smile I whispered, "Thanks Gray."

Nodding he slipped out the door.

It took about three weeks before the gossip finally dwindled. I had been relegated to old news again. Thankfully Gray still spoke to me, making me feel a little better about the whole ordeal.

Regular visits and hikes around our land allowed me a sense of peace and belonging, it also taught me how to navigate when land marks such as McDonald's and Exxon stations were nonexistent. I loved the cabin and the pack that surrounded me.

It was hot, sweaty hot. With my family running about the vast acreage I headed out to the pond on my own. Shucking my clothes the water feels perfect as I cannon ball in splashing and swimming for a while before my brother shows up his tail wagging.

Climbing out I sat on the side my feet dangling in the water. "Hey boy."

Drave moved toward me his tongue hanging out.

"You look hot, come swim with me." Hopping back into the water, Draven followed.

We swam for another twenty or so minutes when I finally climbed out. A cold nose pressed against my butt making me squeal.

"Draven! Bad boy." He huffed, sneezing and I laughed it off.

Still on hands and knees reaching for my clothes I feel his slick tongue.

"Draven," I mutter/moan as my hips jerk forward. That was unexpected how could I possibly like that?

Shifting he laughs, "Well don't stick it out there then."

"Why on earth woud you lick someone's ass?"

Draven smirks, "It's like a dog thing you know how they sniff each other's butts in greeting, besides your butt is too cute not to."

I start laughing, "You're such a perv, don't even try and blame it on my sweet wolf."

Shaking my butt, Drav gave a low growl while I grab my boxers slipping them on.

"What now," he asked watching me dress?

"I'm getting thirsty and hungry, want to go back to the cabin?"

Shrugging he stands. "I could eat."

"Cool."

We walked and talked for about ten minutes before I realized, he hadn't shifted back to his wolf.

"Are all shifters as casual about nudity as our family is?"

"This really bugs you huh," he asks looking down at himself?

I frown watching him objectively then shrug, "Kind of, I mean you're built and everything, it's just isn't it awkward me being dressed and you not?"

"So get naked," he says with a smirk.

"Hmm two naked guys walking through the woods together, sounds a little gay don't you think?"

"Last I checked you were gay or did I miss the straight memo?"

Narrowing my eyes at him I frown, "No I haven't switched sides, but I try not to meet every stereo typical quota assigned to the label."

"Hey," he sighs, "I'm just playing, don't be mad."

Rolling my eyes I whisper "Whatever."

When we get back to the cabin he's still quiet. I feel kind of bad for being a jerk. I always get a little snarky when I'm hungry, but I know a big part of that was what happened at school. Draven didn't care about labels hell he's a wolf, couldn't get any more different than that. Taking a deep breath I walk into the kitchen where he is making sandwiches, "I was being an ass sorry."

The strained look disappeared from his face almost instantly, "S'ok, you came by it honestly."

Nudging his shoulder we grab our lunch and sit down.

"Draven do you want to get married, have kids?"

He looked up his eyes intense, "I really want to find my mate."

"You can still date, even have kids if you want to without her."

Nodding he frowned. "I guess. Dad and Uncle Gage still haven't found theirs. Makes me wonder if they really do exist or if it's just a myth?"

"I hope it's real for your sake."

Draven offered a half smile. "It would be kind of cool, being so close to another person that you can feel them even when apart."

"Certainly couldn't keep a secret with that kind of bond."

Shrugging my brother offered a winsome smile, "I wouldn't want to."

My brother is a romantic, who knew?

His eyes stared off into space for a moment before turning back to me, "Want to watch some tv?"

I was about to agree when I realized how dirty and sweaty I still was. "Um maybe in a bit I'm gonna grab a shower."

Nodding he left the table throwing away our soda's and rinsing off the plates.

Stripping down to nothing I head to the shower from our room down the hall, I wish I was as confident about my body as they were. I didn't think it was too bad but one glance down at the healed cigarette burns refreshed my memory. What little definition I did have wasn't as appealing when covered in scars. Stepping into the shower I tried to let it all wash away.

Towel drying my hair I walked into our room to retrieve some fresh clothes.

"Hey you ok?"

Draven was standing in the door way arms crossed.

"Yeah fine, why?"

He shrugged. "Don't know just got this feeling something was bothering you."

"Naw just taking inventory."

"Didn't like what was in stock," he asked sounding slightly confused?

"Not particularly."

"What don't you like," he asked quietly, no longer joking?

Shaking my head, I really didn't want to go there. "Nothing, doesn't matter."

"Danny what do I have to do?"

He sounded so upset, I wasn't sure what he meant. "About what?"

"You still don't trust me, us." His arms were spread to encompass this home our family.

"Yes I do Draven. You're the only person I've ever trusted completely."

For a moment his face was blank with shock. "Really?" A small smile appeared.

Nodding I returned it with a shy one.

"Then why won't you tell me what is bothering you."

With a sigh I look up and frown, "Because you can't fix it."

"How do you know, I might be able to?"

Shaking my head I begin pointing to the damage on my chest. "You can't fix these even if I exercised and pumped iron for hours on end my body would still look bad."

Draven glared at me, "Anybody who truly loved you wouldn't care, besides there are lots of things about your body that are perfect if you took the time to look."

A bubble of laughter came out, "Yea right." I had reached down to grab my boxers, dropping my towel on the floor at the same time when he grabbed my arm. "Come with me."

He led me down the hall my hand in his toward the room Dad and Uncle Gage shared when here. There in the corner sat a full length mirror. To my horror Draven dragged me in front of it with him standing directly behind me. To say I was uncomfortable would be a giant understatement. My brother was just as naked as I was but it wasn't his reflection currently occupying the mirror.

I looked away with a blush. "Alright Draven, I get it."

He studied my expression. "No you don't, but you will in a moment."

I locked eyes with my brother through the reflective glass.

"See these?" he gazed into my eyes through the mirror.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Your eyes are beautiful. I like the color and how expressive they are. Some refer to them as windows to the soul. When you were in the hospital and unable to talk I could still see you through them. Every day I'm able to see your soul Daniel."