Pillar Ch. 04

She remembered his touch, his teasing. Her mind drifted back to a better day when he'd been in one of his playful moods. She'd immediately felt excited, her heart beating faster. She'd wanted to know what the surprise would be.

"Little girl, come drape yourself over my lap. Take off your panties first."

She got excited at the thought of him spanking her, the sweet burn lingering in her cheeks while her pussy was soaked. She made short work of her panties and lay herself down across his lap. The palm of his hand caressed her ass, and she couldn't help but push her ass up and moan in pleasure.

"You have such a beautiful ass, little girl. I love the way it curves. And the way it feels when I run my fingertips over it. The way it bounces when I spank it... It's a work of art. I know you think I've forgotten something."

Both his hands kneaded her cheeks now, and it distracted her from his words. He was so close to her pussy, if only he'd slide one of his hands between her legs.

"I know you think I've forgotten about this."

She moaned when his fingertip slipped into her asshole, and he wiggled it. She pushed her hips up to get more of him inside of her, but he lifted his hand and didn't give her more. "I play with it from time to time, but what you want is something more like this right?"

He drove his finger down into her hole and pumped it up and down. Her eyes shut as the amazing sensation swept over her. She had to have more, so she slipped her hand under her body and played with her pussy. Knowing that he was watching his finger disappear in her tight ass and that he was aware of what she was doing at the same time, made her feel so exposed that a small orgasm set off.

"Little girl, you're lucky I'm not in the mood for correcting your behavior. It's so wonderful to see you writhing on my lap. What do you think it would look like if I slid my cock in this tight little hole?"

He added a second finger, and she panted at the thought of him actually taking her ass.

"Are you... are you going to fuck me in my ass?"

"Your ass? I think you're mistaken about who this ass belongs to. Where do you want me to fuck you?"

"In your servant's ass, Sir."

"I bet you'd love that."

Ruth moaned louder when he put some lube between her cheeks and worked in a third finger. The stretched out feeling was incredible, and she stayed still so she could enjoy the feelings he was giving her.

"Should I take a picture right now? Your tight little ass shiny with lube, stretched around my fingers, ready for my cock. I could show it to other people. I bet you'd love that as well, letting the world know you love it in your ass."

She couldn't stay still any longer, his words stirred something up inside of her. She groaned and worked her other hand underneath her body. Her fingers plunged into her slit, and she came again when his fingers touched hers inside of her. She felt so full, so hot. She loved how her body stretched out.

"That's a second one, and I barely even touched you. You must want this really badly."

"Yes, please Sir, put it in my ass now. Please fuck my ass."

"Show me how much you want it, fuck yourself on my cock. Slide it in that tight hole of yours. Feel how it fills you up and stretches you out. Play with yourself while you drive it in and out of your little asshole. I want you to scream in pleasure while you violate yourself with my cock. If you do a good job, I might fuck your ass a second time after I shoot my load deep inside of you."

Ruth almost fell in her hurry to get up so she could open his pants. She'd wondered so many times what it would feel like with Tom, and now that it was about to happen her mind was all jumbled. This wonderful man knew how to push her buttons.

When she bared his hard cock, she locked her mouth over it and drove it down her throat. She was in a haze, a sexual frenzy. She didn't care about gagging, all she cared about was getting it wet so it could go inside of her ass. One hand flipped up her skirt, and the other grabbed his shaft and tried to put the tip against her asshole. But it wouldn't go in, she tried and tried, getting more impatient with every attempt.

"Climb on."

Relieved to have a solution, Ruth climbed on and finally got his cock in position. She felt it push against her hole. Her eyes closed and her heart raced. That one moment before she sunk down seemed to last ages. The head popped inside, and her eyes opened wide when she carelessly sunk down until she'd taken half of his length. The heat of his cock pulsed inside of her, and she sank further down until she was sitting in his lap, his entire length buried up her ass.

Tom grabbed her shirt with two hands and ripped the fabric, exposing her naked chest. "Smile for the camera, little girl."

She noticed the lens of the camera in front of her and an image of her state flashed through her mind. A wild look in her eyes, one that told everything about what she wanted right now. Her clothes torn, so anybody could see her stiff nipples and flushed chest. Her pussy glistening with juices under her skirt and worst of all, there was a cock lodged in her bowels.

It was too much for her to handle. The mere thought of being filmed like this drove her over the edge of another orgasm. She shook and spasmed in his lap. When she'd calmed down, Tom twisted her nipples and pulled on them. "Come on Ruth, fuck your little ass raw. I want to feel it slide over my cock. You've come three times already with something in your ass. Just imagine someone seeing the movie of the show you're about to give. Come on Ruth. Fuck that ass!"

Her thoughts were a blur by that stage, she pushed herself up again and again, faster and faster. He guided her fucking by pulling her nipples up and down and up and down. She might be on top, but there wasn't even a sliver of control left to her. All she could manage was fuck, fuck, fuck.

She could hear her ass slapping against his thighs over her own moans. The feeling was amazing, she felt full, and she felt some of the sweet burn she got from a spanking. It hurt, but it was also a new kind of pleasure. Her clit was pulsing like mad. If only she could spare a hand, one little touch would set her off. But she couldn't, Tom held her wrists with his hands, and kept them locked in his firm grip.

Suddenly Tom lifted Ruth off his lap and flipped her on her stomach, draped over the chair. He put her hand in her crotch, and she came at the first touch to her clit. She'd been primed. Her orgasm didn't fade when he slammed his cock back into her ass and started fucking her like a madman. The chair slid across the floor due to the force of every thrust. Her arms went limp as she was helplessly caught in ecstasy. She barely noticed his roar when he shot her ass full of come.

Back in the reality of her lonely room, Ruth climaxed in silence. It was one of the many memories she'd gathered in the months since their agreement. Her body was relaxed and flooded with pleasure, but she couldn't shake off the wrongness. She felt like she'd sinned, like she'd stolen her pleasure from him.

She wanted permission. The whole idea of being permitted to do something made her dependent on the one granting her the pleasure. Now she was lying in bed and nobody knew that she'd just come, nobody shared in her pleasure, nobody cared. She wanted to be cared for again, she wanted to belong. She longed to go back home, and home wasn't here anymore. Her parental home was just a house filled with fond memories now. Her home was with Tom. It was where he could see her and watch over her.

"I'm yours, Sir."

It was a small part of the rules, the first and the last words out of your mouth every day. She hadn't followed it so far, and he hadn't pressed it. But now the words were heavy, burdened with desire and loneliness. And they were true. She wanted to go back, but he wouldn't take her. Or else he would've come for her. She curled back into a ball, but she couldn't shut out the words.

If she couldn't do it for him, she'd do it for herself. She'd prove she could follow every single rule he had put down for her. Even if he wasn't there to see it, he could still guide her. For the first time in days, Ruth felt a calm settle inside of her. It wasn't the same as being held in the palm of his hand, but she felt that somehow things would go back to something similar to the way they had been. Tom hadn't taught her to give up, he'd taught her to endure and to enjoy any reward she could get out of her hard work.

Ruth got out of bed and touched her hair. It was a mess, she needed to clean up. She made her way into the bathroom and her hand froze next to the shower tap. She pulled her hand away and went to the kitchen. There it was, a kitchen clock. She needed to time herself to make sure she didn't exceed the time limit. Every rule meant every rule.

9

"I'm yours, Sir."

The words sounded hollow to Ruth's ears, but she wanted to say them. They tore at her heart every morning and every night, but still she said them. Despite the pain they caused her, they made her day's work more meaningful than tiring herself out so she could fall asleep.

Today was Saturday, so she had private Aikido classes. Tomorrow she had dance classes. Tom had arranged both of those classes for her, but neither of her instructors had said anything about her absence nor had they mentioned Tom in any way. But maybe they still told him she was working hard. Just the idea he might know, even indirectly, was enough for her.

He had Alex, and she had her memories, that's the way things were. Ruth swung up her legs and catapulted herself out of the bed, ready to take on a new day. She diligently went through her tai chi and her stretch routines before she had a shower, carefully keeping an eye on the time she took.

Her breakfast was healthy and balanced, but she didn't really taste it. She tried her best during her aikido class, but it didn't feel like it had before.

When she came back home, Ruth brewed tea according to the traditional guidelines of the tea service. She let the invigorating liquid roll over her tongue and enjoyed the refined flavor. She'd gotten better at brewing tea, and she'd never realized how different something could be from what she'd known all her life. The ceremony calmed her down and focused her on the task at hand. That focus resulted in something remarkable instead of ordinary.

Ruth had gone through this routine every day since she resolved herself to get back on the path Tom had set out. She sighed and put her cup down. Her eyes lingered on the book he'd given her to read this month. One more thing for her to do. It was hard to complete everything on the list, but she was doing it.

"That tea smells nice, can I have some?"

Ruth got up and poured her mother a cup, following the rules of the ceremony. Hilda waved her away and said, "No need to make a fuss about it. What's that you're reading? Brave new world?"

Ruth nodded and put her hand on the cover. "It's a strange story, but I like it. A friend told me about it, so I thought I'd give it a read."

"You're going to read now? Don't you want to have a chat with your mother over a cup of tea?"

"Sure, mom, what do you want to talk about?"

"You've been looking better lately, going out again. What was it you did this morning? Aikido? It's not something I'd choose, but it's good to get some exercise I guess."

"It's very challenging to keep up with the sensei, but I love doing it."

She wasn't lying, punching and throwing her heart out this morning had relieved some of her pent up feelings. Charlotte had sensed she needed an intense session and as a result Ruth had stumbled into the shower afterwards. The warm water on her tired muscles had been heaven.

"Sensei? Is that your instructor?"

"Instructress, Charlotte."

"Oh. And you've been dressing up. It's nice to see you act like a woman again."

Ruth managed a thin smile at the compliment. She couldn't say that everything she wore had been handpicked by Tom. Every combination followed his guidelines. "Thanks mom, I try to look nice."

"And you do look nice, honey. It lightens my heart to see you come out of your room every day with some spring in your step. You're doing just fine without that cheating bastard."

Her smile faded at the mention of Tom, and her face became a mask. Hilda noticed and tried to repair the damage. "I'm sorry, honey. It's too soon I guess. But you weren't even together for a whole year. You'll forget about him in time. And then you can find someone else who appreciates you more than he did. A nice guy who always tells you how beautiful you are, and who makes sure you're alright."

Ruth swallowed down some tears, and she excused herself from the table so she could hide in her corner again to shut out the world beyond herself. She felt lost without Tom there to tell her she was doing okay. She wanted him to stroke her hair when she did something right. She wanted him to whisper in her ear and encourage her. She wanted him to do crazy things to her. Come back, please.

10

Philip blocked most of the light coming through the doorway when Ruth opened the door.

"Thanks for taking my call, Ruth."

"It's okay Philip, come in."

"Your parents have a nice place. Are they in?"

"No. What is it you want to talk about, Philip?"

"Straight to the point? I don't mind. Could we go sit somewhere?"

"Oh. Sure, we can go sit on the couch. Do you want something to drink?"

"Water's fine."

The couch looked undersized when Philip sat down in it, and Ruth felt tiny when her hand almost disappeared in his, glass included. He thanked her and put the water down.

"Did Tom send you?"

"Oh no, he wouldn't. I went over to his place and asked about you, and I almost had to twist his arm before he told me anything. The boy can be stupid."

"He didn't want to tell you about me?"

"It took some prodding, yes."

"Why?"

"Don't misunderstand. He wants to, but he won't. When it comes to long-term relationships he's still a novice, and he confuses real problems with your inner struggles to submit. He's too fixated on that part of your relationship. He's happy to take control of many things, but your decision to stay or leave is not one of them. And if you don't go back, he'll respect it even though it hurts. I tried to make him understand he has to come talk to you, but the boy's stubborn. If it's not you, he won't listen."

Ruth didn't answer, she was wrapped up into a tiny ball, lost in thought. A huge hand on her back startled her. "Why are you here, Ruth?"

A simple question. She looked up at the kind giant next to her and saw a calm steadiness in his eyes. This man had weathered his crises and all they'd done was polish up his rocky surface. He was like a troll from folklore, a walking piece of rugged nature wrapped in the thin veneer of society.

She felt calm in his presence and for the first time, she wanted to open up. "I was busy packing up for the move to Tom's place when my mom called. She'd seen him kiss Alex during his work hours, in a place not far from his office. I got really scared, and my mom was furious."

Ruth stopped talking and curled up in a tighter ball. Philip let her be for a while and then picked her up, put her on his lap and almost completely hid her behind his arms. "Ruth, why were you scared? You can tell me, we've all been scared before."

"Have you ever been scared?"

She sounded fragile, anything would make her retreat back into her shell. Philip took a deep breath and prepared to trade his own story for hers.

"I've been scared many times, Ruth. I'm huge, and I've always been bigger and stronger than anybody else I knew. Children would tease me so I'd try to make them stop and without wanting to I'd hurt them. A little push and they'd go flying. I pushed a kid against a window sill once, and he knocked his head. There was so much blood. I ran away and when they found me they said I did it on purpose. I told them no, it was an accident and after a lot of talking they believed me. But I could see in the eyes of the other kids that they were afraid.

"I carried that with me. I almost never dated because I didn't want to break those fragile looking girls. Eventually I met Cristina, and I'll never forget how she stood there looking up at me with her hands in her sides and her chest pushed up, trying to read me a lesson. But whatever she did, she was still tiny. I started laughing, and she kicked me in the shin. That made me laugh even more, and she kicked my other shin. I barely felt it, but she hurt her foot, and she started hopping on one leg. I folded over, my stomach hurt from laughing so hard, and I was still laughing when she pulled on my shoulder. I toppled over and fell. There she stood, looking down on me, and I think I fell in love with her when she said: there, that's better.

"We started dating, and I was amazed. This little woman was bigger than me, she overwhelmed me. It scared me to do some of the things we did together, but she never broke. All she did was ask for more. I felt alive.

"We went on like that for years before we stumbled upon Domination and submission. It made sense to us. She loved controlling me, and I loved being free of the risk of hurting someone. Over time I got more comfortable with myself and my size, up to the where I have a tiny girl in my lap, and I haven't even worried about forgetting she's there when I get up, causing her to fall onto the coffee table. You don't want to know how many times I've thought things like that.

"That's my story and I'm proud to tell it. If you don't want to, you don't have to tell me yours, but you have to tell it to Tom. You have to be honest with him or else you guys'll never work. Maybe if he'd known what you kept from him, he would've made different choices."

Ruth relaxed during his story, sheltered in the warmth of his arms as she listened to the dull hum in his chest. It was a safe place, and she felt she wanted to tell her story. "Can you call Tom and tell him to come here? The back door is open, so we don't have to leave from here."

"Sure."

***

Tom entered the living room only fifteen minutes later. He saw Philip sitting on the couch by himself and said, "Where's Ruth?"

A head popped up between Philip's giant arms, and Tom could see on Ruth's face that she'd been crying. Ignoring Philip, he kneeled in front of the couch, pressed his forehead against hers and wrapped one hand in her hair. Feeling her again sent a tingle of excitement and a flash of pain through him at the same time. Ruth folded her arms around him, and he pulled her from Philip's lap and squashed her against his chest. "I've missed you, Ruth."

She made a choked little sound, and he kissed her before she could say anything. He buried her face into his shoulder when the kiss ended and held her. They clung together until the volatile need to feel each other dwindled, and they could talk again. He carried her over to the couch and settled her in his lap, stroking her hair. In his softest voice, he said "Philip said you have a story to tell."

Her hands clawed into his shirt, but she nodded despite of her apprehension, determined to get everything off her chest.

"I was with someone else before, and we lived together while I did my MBA. Living together seemed like a good plan to save money, but it was a mistake. As time went by, Sebastien changed. He seemed distracted and when we had sex it was always urgent. I didn't mind, and I went with it, but after half a year of living together he no longer wanted to have sex like normal couples do. He stopped looking me in the face, and he told me to cut my hair short. I refused him, and he got aggressive."

Ruth felt Tom's arms tense around her, but he kept his mouth shut.