Rough Draft: Twisted Ink

"Come on, girl, smile," Raine said and put his arm on the booth behind me. I looked up and gave the worst fake smile ever. "That was...yeah. That was hideous," he chuckled. That got a real smile. Small, but real. "There she is," he brushed my cheek.

Raine was such a sweetheart. I wondered sometimes if he was gay. I didn't see him pick up girls, and he rarely talked about dating, but when I asked Jack he just shook his head and laughed.

'No. Definitely not gay. Just doesn't share that shit with everybody.' Jack had said.

"You wanna another beer, doll?" Deak asked. I nodded. Deak was different from Raine. Still sweet, but less flirtatiously so. I liked them both, they blended seamlessly into our close knit circle of friends.

Deak brought me back a beer and took his seat across from me. He looked at me quizzically, then shook his head.

"What?" I asked rubbing my face and nose. I mean usually that look means you've got a clinger or a smudge.

"He's a fucking idiot," Deak said and shook his head again. Huh?

"Told you, man," Raine chimed in. "We're fucking surrounded."

"What?" I asked again.

"Nothin', sweetheart," Raine answered. "Hey, Jack!" Jack looked up at Raine. "We're doing an Independence Day cookout, y'all game?" Jack nodded and went back to his PG13 make out session with Anya.

"Kyle, you?" Deak asked.

"Sure, man," he smiled and continued flirting with the redhead he'd talked to earlier in the night.

"How about you, doll?" Deak asked and they both looked at me expectantly.

Ben would be there. It was his house, too. I hadn't seen or talked to him since that night, and the fact that he skipped out tonight, was a pretty obvious sign things were back to the way they were before. Tolerable avoidance. My little jealousy spell was a fluke.

Ben was a great guy. Funny, smart, tender, but his lifestyle alone knocked him out of the serious stack. I had been raised with a man like him. A rebel, a work hard, play harder, make your own rules guy. My dad. And he let me down at every turn. They could be charming. Loving. But, when it was do or die time, they weren't the types to stick around.

"Sure. Why not?" I told Deak.

"Great," he smiled.

There were at least thirty people at the house when we pulled in. Kyle rode with me to the cookout, forcing me to be the DD. It was ok though, I wasn't really in a drinking mood.

"Hey, doll," Deak called and pulled me into a hard hug. "Kyle. Man, glad y'all could come. Burgers will be done shortly, beer in the coolers, volleyball in the front, there," he motioned to the yard, "and water tag in the back."

"Thank you," I said and looked around. Oh hot damn. Ben was coming from the backyard. His plain white t-shirt was soaked, clinging to his perfectly chiseled torso. His dark hair was plastered to his face in a sexy, wet man way. His light green eyes danced with amusement. He stopped outside of the gate to talk to an older gentleman. His smile, my God, it was beautiful.

Then, my stomach fell to the ground and my chest ached. The blonde, from the bar that night, walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. He slung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close. The old man said something that caused Ben to throw his head back and laugh. He was...happy. They looked good together. Tears stung my eyes and I turned to walk back to my car.

I ran right into Raine. "'Scuse me," I mumbled to the ground and moved to continue my escape. I wasn't fast enough. Raine grabbed my hand.

"You ok, sweetheart?" He asked ducking down to look at my face. I gave a nod and tried to pull away. "What's wrong?" He asked, brows furrowed.

"Nothing," I lied. "Just a bad day." Not a lie. "Can you tell Kyle I went home, and to catch a ride with Jack and Anya?"

"Oh hell," he muttered and pulled me close. "He's a moron, sweetheart." He wrapped me in a hug and and swayed me slowly.

"I shouldn't have come," I murmured to Raine. "I'm just gonna go. Thanks for inviting me, though," I pulled away and gave a small smile.

"You don't have to leave, Jen," Raine stated. I hated, but also perversely appreciated, the pity I saw on his face.

"I really should," I said walking away.

"Jen! Wait!" Raine shouted and pulled me back in for another bear hug. "Be careful, ok?" He whispered close to my ear, then looked off toward the yard.

I nodded and got to my car. I made it half way home before the tears started falling.

"Ben, sweetie? You alright?" Heather asked me. Was I alright? My eyes went back to where Raine was wrapped around Jen. No. No I was not. She pulled away and smiled at him. Fuck. She was walking to her car, but he pulled her back and hugged her in earnest. He leaned close to ear and whispered something. Motherfucker. He released her and she smiled again, got in her car and left.

Raine turned to me, saw me staring and grinned. Fucking asshole.

I glared at him and he walked back to where Kyle was standing with the new shop girl we'd hired.

"Yeah I'm good," I answered more shortly than meant to. Heather was a sweet girl. Very prim and proper. Banging little body. Dumb as a brick. She kissed my chest and smiled at me. Her eyes were the wrong shade of blue, her mouth the wrong shape, and her lips the wrong shade of pink.

"I'm gonna go get a drink," she squeaked. I nodded and walked to where Raine was standing.

"Hey, man," he greeted.

"What the hell are you pulling?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"That bullshit with Jen," I answered impatiently.

"What? She's hot. Single. Funny. Smart. Sweet." He shrugged. This motherfucker had a death wish.

"She's mine," I growled.

"Yours?" He scoffed and shook his head. "No, bro. Heather is yours. Jen's fair game. You're not even her 'friend'," he bit out and I flinched. "Oh? Yeah? Anya and I talk. I know what was said and bro, you're a dumbass. But hey, your loss, my gain." He shrugged again and walked away. Walked. The. Fuck. Away. Son of a bitch.

I didn't know why it pissed me off so much. Jen made it obvious that we would never be more than fuck buddies, and to be honest I didn't know if I wanted more from her. I knew I didn't like the thought of her with anyone else. Fuck this. I walked to my bike and took off to the one place I could get answers.

My tears were still falling when my doorbell rang. Dammit. I got up and checked the peephole. Fuuuucccckkk! What the hell was he doing here? Ben.

"Jen? I know you're standing there. Open the damn door," he called out.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. I made an instant decision and flipped the deadbolt. I pulled the door open, ducked my head and walked back to my couch. "What do you need?" I mumbled, looking at the floor.

"We need to talk, Jen," he said more gently than I expected. Ben knelt in front of me and lifted my chin. He raised his eyebrows and used his thumb to wipe away a tear that had fallen free. "Why are you crying, sweetheart?" His tone was so tender it caused more tears to fall.

I shook my head and ducked my head back down. Ben moved beside me on the couch and pulled me to his lap. He stroked my hair, while my tears continued.

"Jen, babe, talk to me," he whispered. "What's going on?"

I could've lied and told him I was just having a bad day. I could have. I didn't. "I saw you and that girl," it sounded like an accusation.

"Yeah?" He furrowed his brow at me.

"You looked so happy," I let out a sigh, "it reminded me of everything I don't have," I finished lamely.

"What don't you have?"

"What Anya and Jack have. What you and that girl have. A companion. A friend. A lover. Someone to be those things," I looked at a frayed spot on my couch and shrugged. Ben was quiet so I continued. "I'm not a slut, ya know? I've tried dating guys, but they always break my heart, and that just hurts too damn much. But seeing you today," I shook my head and chanced a look at his face. I didn't get a good one, because as soon as my head was lifted his mouth was on mine.

Ben turned me to face him causing me to straddle his hips. He held both of my cheeks and deepened his kiss. It 'was' his. He controlled every moment of it. He licked between my upper lip and my teeth and sucked my lip into his mouth. The erotic sensation made me whimper and pull his head closer. I started rocking my hips on his groin and his answering moan caused my nipples to tighten painfully.

He lightened the kiss and started gently running his fingers up and down my spine. "Jen?" He whispered against my lips, "what are we doin', baby?"

What? My lust fogged brain wanted me to scream 'duh', but somehow the coherent part knew his question was deeper than that. He pulled back and rested his forehead on mine. "You tell me," I replied breathlessly.

"I want you. I don't wanna share you," he said. "Maybe we could try...ya know...being together?"

We could. He'd said try. I could try, right? Ben wasn't a deadbeat. He wasn't an alcoholic. He'd never hurt me physically. But, what if I fell for him. I could. I could totally fall for Ben, then when he got tired of me I'd be crushed. I wanted him. I'd wanted him for over a year. Fear of him leaving like my dad, that was holding me back. No more.

"We have to take it one day at a time, Ben," I said finally. "I promise, no one but you. But, I want the same promise and a promise that if its not working you tell me and cut me loose. I don't want to wait until one of us is in too deep. It hurts too much then."

"Yeah, baby. I can promise that," he cupped my cheek and kissed my nose. "Gotta get back to the party I'm hostin', babe," he said, running his thumb along my jaw. I moved to stand and walk him to the door. He stopped and kissed me again.

"Ben?" I called when he crossed the threshold. "Please don't break my heart."

He turned and gave me a small smile, "Back at ya, baby."

Ben

Riding back to the house I felt lighter. Free. I wasn't sure where this would lead with Jen, but I wanted to find out.

I had to take care of the situation with Heather, first. Shit. I pulled up to the house and got off my bike.

She met me in the driveway. "Hey, you," she smiled, "where'd you go?"

Now I'm really not an asshole. At least not all of the time, and what I needed to say to Heather wasn't going to be easy, but I had already wasted a month of her life and mine wishing she was someone else. This was for the best. That's what I told myself.

"We need to talk, babe." I saw her smile drop and her eyes water. Shit, this was hard.

"What's going on, Ben?"

"You know we've had some good times together," I started. Tears fell from her eyes. I hated seeing women cry. "Babe, don't cry."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Her voice sounded so fucking broken.

"Yeah." I wasn't going to lie to her. She deserved that much.

"It's that bitch from the bar? Isn't it?" I had never heard Heather curse. Damn. This was hard.

"She's not a bitch, Heather. But, yeah. It's about her."

"That's where you went." It was a statement. All I could manage was a single nod. I hated that I was doing this to her, but we can't help what we want, even when it's not easy. "You son of a bitch!" She screeched and attacked. Heather's crazy bitch came out. She was all finger nails and stiletto heels. Honestly! Who wears stilettos to a fucking cookout?

She clawed at my face and kicked my shins. I instinctively covered my junk and tried to protect my eyes. She kept on coming at me. "You stupid bastard! How could you? You left me here to go fuck that fat ass?" Yep. That did it.

"HEATHER! FUCKIN' STOP!" I bellowed. I grabbed her wrists to stop the slaps. "Number one! I'm sorry I've hurt you! Ok? I didn't want this to go down like this, but this is the way it is. Number two, Jen is neither a bitch nor is she fat, so reel that shit in."

"You're fucking disgusting, Ben. Fucking worthless; you make me sick," Heather screeched and stormed off.

'You're worthless, Benjamin. Our marriage is a joke. It's over. I've been fucking Luke for the last year, but you're too stupid to realize. This isn't your baby!' Lana. Fuck. My bitch of an ex wife's words came rushing back. Jack and I packed our shit that week and left. I haven't looked back. Heather had said the words, but it was Lana's hissed voice I heard. I promised myself I would never let a woman back in. That bitch had put me through the meat grinder.

But here I was running head long back into the world of stupid. All for what? Great tits and a tight pussy. I was the world's biggest fucking idiot.

My phone rang a little after nine. The emotional turmoil of the day had taken its toll and I had dozed off.

"Hello," I answered sleepily.

"Hi. Were you asleep?" Ben's gruff voice responded. The right amount of bass and rasp mixed perfectly to make a sexy combination. If I said I didn't feel the effects, I'd be lying.

"Yeah. I dozed off," I replied, more alert.

"I probably shouldn't have woken you up. I just wanted to hear your voice. It's been a...weird day."

"Yeah it has."

"Yeah," his tone was sad.

"Hey. You ok?"

There was a pause. "No. Not really," he answered finally. My mind was reeling. Had he changed his mind?

"Can I help?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say. This was uncharted territory for us. I didn't know how to be 'this' for Ben. I could tell he was hurting, and what scared me about that was that it hurt me.

"Just talking to you is helping. I've missed talking to you."

Tears formed in my eyes and my throat tightened. I realized how much I had missed him at that moment. "Me too, so much."

"Baby, don't cry. We're gonna give this a shot, yeah?"

"I'm scared," well that's not what I wanted to say. Apparently my brain loses control with Ben. Yet another frightening realization.

"Me too, babe. But let's not think about that right now, ok? Let's talk about something else," I heard his smile.

"Like what?"

"Like...why you're not naked right now?" He lowered his voice seductively.

"Ben!" I heard him chuckle. Oh, two can play his game. "How do you know I'm not?"

"Oh. I know. Why don't you fix that, babe?"

"You're serious right now? You want to have phone sex?" I asked and laughed. It felt good to laugh. I felt like I hadn't in so long.

"There she is," he murmured. It was so sexy. The pulse between my legs picked up.

"You know, you could come over and actually see if I'm naked?"

Ben groaned loudly and I heard the springs of his bed. "No, baby. I just wanna hear you. And I wanna know it's me that makes you moan even if I'm not there." Ho-lee. Fuck. Hot.

"What do you want me to do?" I whispered. I wasn't new to phone sex, but this was off the charts hot.

"I want you to take off your clothes and climb in your bed."

"Ok." I quickly did as I was told. Just knowing he was thinking of me naked and touching myself was driving me nuts. "Ok. Now what?"

"Are you wet, baby?" He rasped. I ran a finger through my folds and felt the slickness there.

"God yes," I groaned. "What are you wearing?"

"Nothing," his low, sexy voice answered. My answering moan was loud and frustrated. God, he was beautiful naked. His ink highlighted his sculpted muscles. The V running from his narrow hips, to his delicious cock. His pierced, delicious cock. The trail of dark hair trailing from under his navel. His back would make painters and sculptors weep with joy. Down to his perfectly firm ass and toned thighs. Ben's body was a well oiled machine of muscle and power. When he moved the fluidity of his muscle contraction was the eighth wonder of the world, and when he was on top of me, every one of those muscles worked in perfect harmony.

"You like that thought, baby?" He chuckled. Yes. Fuck yes. Instead all I could muster was a whimper. "Mmm, that's a sexy sound."

"Ben," I whined. "Please. Tell me what to do."

"I want you to lick your finger and trail it over those perfect fucking nipples."

I did and my already pebbled nipples, turned painfully to granite. I moaned in response. I pictured Ben stroking his thick cock, while he told me how to touch myself. The mental image alone was almost enough to throw me over the edge.

"Does it feel good?" He asked.

"Mmhmmm," I whined out.

"Your tits are fucking beautiful, you know. I want to squeeze them and rub them. Can you do that for me? Can you squeeze those beautiful tits for me?"

"Yes," I whispered and began kneading my breasts. "Ben, so good," I moaned out.

"Fuck you're gorgeous. I wanna taste you. I want you to run your finger down the side of that tight little pussy and then taste yourself."

I was going to spontaneously combust before he let me come. I followed his orders.

"Do you taste good? Tell me."

"Yes."

"I know you do, baby. I want you to rub your clit, Jennifer. But don't come, not yet." I obliged. Making light circular motions around my clit.

I was so aroused it hurt. "God, Ben please?"

"Let go, baby," he said on a rough exhale. I move harder and faster and exploded into the stratosphere. "Fuuuuccckkk," I heard Ben growl out. The knowledge of his release and the picture of him getting himself there lead me to a second orgasm. I screamed out his name.

I floated around in the stars for what seemed like hours. "You still there, baby?" I heard Ben laughing.

"Mmhmmm," I sighed.

"Are you capable of speech?"

"Uh-uh," I smiled. Ben's warm chuckle made my smile turn into a full fledged grin.

"Thank you, Jen," Ben said.

"Mmm. For what?" I said slightly sleepy and slurred.

"For making me feel better," he answered. My chest tightened. 'I' did that. Knowing I made him happier, even for a minute, made me happier. It was scary.

"You never have to thank me for that, sweetie. Even when I was mad at you, I never wanted you unhappy." It was the truth. There was a pause.

"Goodnight, Jen. I'll call you in the morning?"

"You better," I teased. "Goodnight, Ben." I waited for him to hang up.

"Hang up, Jen," he laughed.

"You first."

"Night, babe." He said and then was gone. I slept soundly and dreamlessly that night.

Jen 3

I woke up feeling deliciously rested and...optimistic. I hadn't felt that in a long time. Ben and I were going to try the couple thing. I was still afraid, but I was also relieved. I hated him not speaking to me and being upset with me for so long. I missed laughing with him and getting his opinions on things. I decided to focus on the good of having Ben back in my life, not the scary.

It was a long holiday weekend for the fourth, so I'd slept in. I saw I had missed a phone call from Ben and had a new message from him.

'Call me when you wake up. At the shop today.'

I decided to shower first, then call. I called the shop phone instead of his cell; he usually kept it off at work.

"Forever Ink. What can I do for you?" The shop girl answered. What was her name? Barbie? Bambi? Bettie? Crap.

"Um hi. Is Ben available?" Billie? Brandi?

"Hold on a minute," she replied. Bethie? Barnacle? No, what the hell is her name? "He's busy at the moment, can I take a message?" Brandi? No I said that.

"Yeah, tell him Jen called."

"Sure thing. Bye."

God, it was driving me crazy.

I decided to give up my plight over shop girl's name and invite Anya to come lay out by the pool with me. She was game. An hour later we were baking ourselves in blissful peace. Well almost.

"God! This humidity is killer," Anya whined.

"Go jump in, dumbass."

"No. I'm ok." My best friend was the most intelligent person I knew, but sometimes she baffled me.

"So did I tell you? Jack wants me to pierce my nipples."

"Really?" She nodded in response. "So are you?"

"I dunno. I mean I want to, but they take a while to heal and I don't want my girls to miss out on that much action. Ya know?"

"I think it'd be hot. If mine weren't already overly sensitized I'd do it," I offered.