Sadie's Travels

But then, on Sunday evening, Lin told me she had to go on another trip for Mr. Caruso and would be gone for an entire week. I was disappointed, but knew I had no right to be. She had a life, as did I, and the fact that we'd been together in that way did not change who we were. Still, I was quite sad when she kissed me goodbye early Monday morning. And I made her promise she would stay safe and return to me as soon as possible.

Mr. Mitchell knew something was wrong on Monday when I was sullen, moody and went about my work listlessly. It wasn't until a huge bouquet of flowers arrived mid-day, and I read the card, that I perked up. I could see he was curious, but was also nervous about who they might be from. So, he decided not to ask and instead simply took advantage of my improved mood.

The days passed slowly, painfully so. I tried to keep myself busy, but it was impossible. Betty had a friend visiting her, so she was not available to keep me company. I wasn't as comfortable with the other women in the building, so I was forced to spend a lot of time alone. And that was not good. When I was alone, I spent entirely too much time thinking about Lin, remembering the feel of her body against mine, the sweet smell of her breath, the heavenly taste of her special place. By Wednesday evening I found myself closing my eyes while I lay in bed, thinking of her beside me, kissing me, nipping at my flesh...and I started to touch myself. At first my hands seemed to take on a life of their own and I wasn't really paying attention as they massaged my breasts, tugging at the nipples. I continued to enjoy the memory of Lin as my hands caressed the slight swell of my tummy and moved lower, eventually parting my thickened lips as I explored my own slickness for the first time. I could feel her, heavy and warm against my body, her tongue parting me as my fingers now did, licking, tasting, nibbling gently at my flesh. My fingers moved awkwardly at first, until I paid attention to the sensations, focusing on what felt good, although nothing I was doing felt as good as Lin. Before long I could feel a tension building, one that was familiar, although not nearly as intense. I kept going, desperate for some type of...release? And when that delicious heat rushed through me, finally, I bit the inside of my cheek to stop from moaning, pressing against my center tightly as I rode the wave.

Then, surprisingly, I was filled with feelings of guilt. Everything I'd learned about 'playing with yourself' was negative, including suggestions that I would grow hair on my palms and burn in hell. I buried my face into a pillow and sighed, wondering what was going on with me. In the span of a few months, I'd sinned in ways that would probably guarantee me a place in the fiery pits. And I should feel horrible, should be terrified of being condemned, should be...I don't know, something. But the guilt I was currently feeling was the most guilt I'd felt so far. And it was fading pretty quickly. I sighed, standing and going to the bathroom to wash my hands and face. I didn't know what was going on with me, but I wasn't ready to feel bad about most of it. Especially about Lin. Nothing about her made me feel bad. If I was sinning, it didn't feel that way. Of course, that was probably a critical component of sinning, but I didn't feel like thinking about it anymore.

*

On Thursday morning, two days before the wedding, the bride brought in a swatch of cloth she wanted added to the bridesmaids' dresses as a sash. Mr. Mitchell was livid when she left. First he had to find enough of the material she wanted and then we only had a day to add the flourish, considering the girls planned to pick up their dresses on Friday afternoon. It took him hours to find an exact match for the swatch of cloth. Then we set about making the alterations. He had to leave at 6pm, but asked if I could stay late to finish a few more dresses. I sighed, but realized I had nothing else to do. So, I went to my apartment to grab something to eat and then returned to the shop.

It was past 9pm the next time I glanced over at the clock on the wall. There was no way I was going to finish tonight, I realized. Besides, Mr. Mitchell had asked me to come in at 8am tomorrow as usual. So, I would just come in a little earlier. Still, I wanted to finish the sash I was currently working on. I was in the back looking for another spool of thread Mr. Mitchell had ordered especially for the dresses when I heard the front door open. I kicked myself mentally, wondering how I could have forgotten to lock the door. I also wondered who would stop by the shop so late, knowing we usually closed at 6pm.

"We're closed!" I called from the back, finally finding the thread. I was preoccupied, thinking about how much longer I would stay and curious about who had stopped by as I made my way up front. If I had thought about it, even for a moment, I probably would have figured it out before I saw her. That would have given me time to pull myself together. As it was, when I saw her, standing there, so handsome, dressed in yet another tastefully made dark suit, this time with a burnt orange silk shirt beneath it, I dropped the thread, squealed, and ran to her. She was chuckling as I threw my arms around her neck and kissed her over and over again. Her arms slid around my waist and I melted against her sturdy frame, sighing as I felt her warm, soft lips pressed against mine. I'd missed her. Badly.

It didn't take long for our happy, reunion kisses to turn into something more. I moaned as she continued to do things to my mouth, her hands careful to remain at my waist even as the heat built quickly between us. Always the gentleman, I thought to myself. But that thought didn't last long. My mind was suddenly filled with images of her smooth, soft dark chocolate flesh, those small, perfectly shaped breasts, nipples hard with desire. I could feel her biceps flexing as I caressed her arms, quickly removing her jacket and tossing it onto a nearby table. My fingers were trembling as I started working on the buttons of her silk shirt, careful not to rip any from the shirt like I wanted to. She chuckled again.

"Sadie, we can't, not here."

I knew she was talking, but I wasn't interested in what she was saying. Instead, I finished with her shirt and parted it. I was starting to realize she hardly ever wore a bra, not that she needed one. And ever since the night she'd been beaten, I noticed she'd stopped wrapped the ace bandage around her chest too. Her breasts, while perfectly wonderful, were small and certainly less than a handful. They didn't need any support, or need to be flattened, which was great for me. That meant I didn't have to wait another minute. She wasn't chuckling anymore as I bent my head and captured a hardening nipple, drawing it into my heat of my mouth and worshiping the turgid flesh as if it was the most delicious thing I'd ever had the pleasure of putting between my lips. Of course I knew that wasn't true. There was another area of this woman's body that was far more tasty, but I would leave that until a little later.

She moaned. I loved that sexy, throaty sound. It felt as if it was lured from somewhere deep inside her and she had little control over it. And it was heavy and raspy, just like her voice. I felt her hands curl into my hair, bringing me closer and I smiled a little before I gently bit into her sensitive flesh, forcing her to arch her back in response.

"Goddamnit Sadie," she offered huskily, grabbing a handful of my hair and forcing my head up. She brought my lips up to hers, kissing me brutally. My heart was thudding in my chest, my hands still shaking, my center throbbing sweetly. I felt her walking me backwards until my backside bumped against one of the tables. She reached around me, her lips still creating havoc against mine, and swiped everything off the table, onto the floor. Then she lifted me up just a bit until I was barely perched on the edge. Those dark eyes were watching me as she slowly lifted my dress, gauging my reaction as she gently stroked my outer thighs, tickling me, teasing me...moving to caress my inner thighs, parting them, her eyes never leaving mine. I was transfixed by her gaze as I felt the heat of her fingers through the cotton of my panties, then they were moving the thin material aside, tenderly stroking the rapidly swelling lips...the feelings she was creating overwhelmed me. I closed my eyes, throwing my head back as I felt her finger sink into me slowly. A moment later she had undone the top buttons of my dress, her teeth biting into one of my painfully hard nipples through the soft cotton of my bra. I moaned, or whined, or made some kind of noise that might suggest I was in pain...but I wasn't. God, I wasn't. That thick digit moved within me, her other hand moving up to sweetly torture my nipple as she raised her head, her tongue burning a path upward until she sank her teeth into my neck. I could feel those sensations building again, my insides quivering, my grip on reality becoming more and more tenuous as she took complete and utter control of my body. I wanted her so badly, I wanted it so badly...I dug my fingers into the muscle of her biceps as I felt the tidal wave crest...I bit my lip until it bled when it finally crashed over me.

I knew she could feel the contractions between my thighs, because I surely felt my center gripping her finger, squeezing it ever so lovingly even as she slipped a second one into me. She moved them both within me, quicker now, deeper, her tongue caressing my ear lobe, her other hand continuing to manipulate my agonizingly erect nipple. It was magic, what she was doing to me, forcing me higher and higher, past the first threshold and up to a place from which I would drop faster...harder. But I was hungry for the ride, almost desperate for the feel of her and the pleasure she created. I clung to her, anxious, as I continued the climb to that higher peak, impatiently waiting until she allowed me to drop into that pool of devastatingly wicked pleasure.

But in the next instant I was not swimming in a pool of wondrous sensations. Instead, I heard a terrifyingly loud crash...glass shattering...the shop's window? I stopped, as did Lin, and froze for a moment, not sure what was going on. Then Lin was leaping over the table, grabbing me with her as she slammed us down onto the floor so hard my bones rattled. She quickly turned the table onto its side and positioned us behind it. Shocked, stunned, I wasn't sure how to react. I glanced over at Lin, there was blood on the sleeve of her shirt, a small circular stain. There were things slamming into the thick wooden table in front of us, pushing it backwards, forcing us backwards. Lin grabbed my wrist and, staying low, practically dragged me into the back room. She locked the door and then sat me against a wall. The walls in the back room were made of concrete and the door was made of a thick metal. Since Mr. Mitchell kept money in this room, he'd had it built almost like a bank safe. The only downside was there were no windows and no other way out.

We sat there, not moving, the breath rushing from me, pain starting to register. I shifted a little and winced, wondering if I had hurt something when Lin slammed me to the floor. When I looked over at her again, as she searched the room with her eyes, there was more blood. The spot on her sleeve was rapidly growing. It dawned on me that Lin had been...shot? Even the thought sounded absurd. We waited for only a few more seconds, although it felt like an eternity, and then we heard tires squeal as a car peeled off. Lin didn't move for a bit longer and then she was on her feet, grabbing a long piece of cloth and approaching me.

"Sadie," she ordered softly, handing me the cloth and indicating her arm. I realized she wanted me to tie the cloth around her arm. I tried to ignore the blood, my hands trembling severely as I tied the strip of material very, very tightly around her upper arm. It pinched as I tied a knot in it, but I don't think Lin cared. She forced me to my feet.

"Your purse?" She demanded.

"Behind the counter," I responded weakly.

She opened the door a crack, very slowly peeking out before opening it entirely. Then she grabbed my wrist again, dragging me to the front of the store. The huge window was shattered. That was the loud crash I'd heard. And there were holes in the table where we'd hid for a few seconds, as well as holes in the counter and a lot of the other furniture in the shop. The scene registered slowly.

I wasn't really paying attention to what Lin was doing, but I saw her out of the corner of my eye. Then, suddenly, her firm grip was on my arm again, pulling me from the store. She hurried me the few steps to my building, opening the door to the lobby and then turning left, heading to an apartment on the first floor. When we finally stopped, my brain registered that Betty lived on this side of the building on the first floor. I had just finished the thought when Betty opened the door in response to Lin's rhythmic pounding.

"What happened?"

Lin pushed past her, sitting me down on Betty's comfy sofa before dragging Betty into the bedroom. They closed the door and I heard nothing. Then voices, low at first, then someone shouting, Betty I think. Finally, Lin came out of the room, walked past me without so much as a glance, and left, slamming the front door behind her. Betty hurried to lock the door. When she finally knelt in front of me, I could see she was upset.

"Are you okay, Sadie?" She asked, clearly worried.

I nodded...nodded...kept nodding. I'm pretty sure if I was trying to reassure her, I wasn't doing a great job.

She sighed, "it's okay," she assured me, patting my knee gently. I forced myself to stop nodding. She sat beside me on the sofa.

"Did Lin say anything on the way over here?"

I shook my head. She was silent for a few moments, concentrating on something, maybe trying to figure out what she wanted to say, or how to say it. Then she got up and went to the kitchen. I was glad because it gave me time to think. Like...what the hell was going on? Why had Lin brought me here? How did Lin know Betty? How did Betty know Lin? And did I already ask what the hell was going on?

Betty made her way back to my side and handed me a glass filled with amber liquid, the same amber liquid Lin had given me at her house, I realized as I sipped it. She put the bottle on the table.

Betty sighed, "let me start at the beginning. I'm Lin's sister. She asked me to start keeping an eye on you a few months ago."

She took a hefty swallow from her own glass. I was glad she'd thought to bring the bottle with her and held my glass out for more of the warming liquid.

"She also gave me this to give to you if there was an emergency."

She handed me a thick envelope after pouring me another hefty dose, continuing to talk as I tore it open.

"Before she left, she told me she should be back in 30 minutes. If she's not...well...she said you have to leave."

I was only half listening to her. The envelope held money. Lots of it. And my birth certificate and social security card. I wasn't certain, but I could have sworn they were still upstairs in my bottom dresser drawer.

"That's a thousand dollars. She has 25 minutes left Sadie. Are you listening to me? If she's not back, you have to go."

I closed my eyes, silent, desperately trying to understand what was going on. I didn't. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Go where?"

"Anywhere but here. Do you understand what I'm saying? Caruso's dead...and they're after her now. You have to leave Harlem."

Again, she was saying words that sounded like English, but they simply weren't registering.

"Betty..." I hesitated. I needed answers. And I apparently only had a few minutes to get them. "I don't understand what's going on here. Who is Caruso? Why would someone kill him? And what does this have to do with Lin? She's just a delivery person."

"What?" Betty asked, incredulous. "Is that what Lin told you?"

"She said she was a runner...I just assumed."

Betty stood, drinking another hefty dose from the glass she held tightly. "Jesus, I thought you knew," she muttered mostly to herself. She sighed and then sat beside me again.

"Sadie, Caruso was a drug dealer, one of the biggest in Harlem. Lin is...was Caruso's right hand. She was also his runner. In other words, she ran drugs across state lines. Caruso was killed tonight and Lin is in trouble. And since they know about you, that means you're in trouble too."

And in that moment everything clicked. The fancy clothes, the nice home, the frequent trips out of town, the short wait at The Cotton Club, the men who had threatened her, the mistress, Caruso's threatening manner when Lin was just a little late, my boss's concern...yes. It made sense. Would I have ever pieced it together myself? Probably not. I had the pieces to the puzzle, but had clearly decided not to put the puzzle together. But Betty's words lifted the veil and now I had no choice but to deal with it...and I felt a little foolish. I should have known, right? I mean, wasn't it obvious? I closed my eyes and swallowed. Then swallowed again.

"Where's Lin?" I finally asked, opening my eyes.

"She'll be back...if she can," was all Betty would say.

"Are you telling me that if she's not back in," I glanced at the clock on her wall, "twenty minutes, she's probably dead?"

Betty was going to lie, I could see it. She was about to shake her head and reassure me, but I think something about the way I was watching her changed her mind.

"To be honest, I don't know Sadie. I only know that she said you had to leave if she didn't come back."

I gulped down the remaining liquid in the glass. I wanted another drink, to calm my nerves, but getting drunk wouldn't help. I was already feeling lightheaded.

"Am I allowed to go back to my apartment?" I asked finally.

Betty shook her head, although I already knew the answer was no.

I was done. I had no more questions. I couldn't think of anything else to say, or what I would do next, if Lin didn't show up. So I decided to just sit back, take a deep breath, and watch the clock.

*

There were only a few minutes left...and I was getting worried. I wasn't planning to leave without Lin. And I knew I was going to have to fight with Betty about it. But if I left, where would I go? I had nothing...no one. I hadn't been down South since I was a little girl, so there was no one down there I could turn to. And I didn't know anyone else. Lin was it. So, if I had to leave New York, I couldn't imagine doing it without her.

Thankfully someone knocked on the door as the clock was ticking down. I froze, worried at first, but it was the same rhythmic pattern Lin had used earlier. Clearly a code between the two of them. I didn't move as Betty rushed to open the door, quickly locking it behind Lin. I heard the two of them talking, softly enough so that I couldn't hear, so I just continued to sit on the sofa, keeping still. I didn't move at all, I just waited...just waited.

Eventually Betty disappeared into one of the other rooms. Lin paced for a moment...and then sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa where I was sitting. Our eyes met, her intense chestnut brown ones watching me closely at first, but then she lowered her gaze and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Sadie."

Her voice was thick, heavy...filled with...guilt? I wasn't certain. I glanced at her arm, glad to see she'd changed clothes and had apparently stopped the bleeding. I wasn't sure what I wanted, what I needed from her at the moment. I started with the question that weighed most heavily on my mind.